Tenderoni Hotline #1: Hello my beauty! I’m so excited to introduce a brand-new segment here on Feminist Wellness, the Tenderoni Hotline, where I answer your most tender, curious, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and the nervous system.

In this episode, we’re diving into how to stop emotional outsourcing, that habit of looking outside yourself for safety, belonging, and worth, and start reclaiming those from within. I’ll share how to recognize when you’re losing yourself in other people’s needs, plus simple, science-backed nervous system regulation tools to help you catch dysregulation before it hits a 10.

This work is gentle, practical, and profoundly powerful. You deserve to feel safe in your own body and to belong deeply to yourself.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Mentioned in this episode:

Join The Shift today!

You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

The Shift

#346: What if I told you that the reason you feel exhausted by 2:00 PM every single day isn't because you're weak or lazy, but because you've been running a full-time job you didn't even know you had?

I'm talking about emotional outsourcing – the exhausting pattern of constantly monitoring everyone else's feelings, needs, and comfort levels while completely ignoring your own. You become fluent in everyone else's emotional language while losing the ability to decode your own basic signals. You'll sit through meetings with a full bladder, ignore hunger pangs until you're shaky, and suppress yawns because drawing attention to your human needs feels somehow wrong.

The real tragedy isn't just the exhaustion or the resentment building underneath your constant yes-saying. It's that you never get to feel the full safety of being you in the world. Join me today to learn the true cost of emotional outsourcing, and why these survival strategies are no longer serving you.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/346

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Mentioned in this episode:

Join The Shift today!

You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

The Shift

Today is the day! My book, End Emotional Outsourcing, which I've poured my heart and science-nerd brain into, is officially out. But getting it into the world depends on what happens this week. This isn't about the money. It's about getting these life-changing words into the hands of someone who needs them.

This book challenges the "tough-it-out" messages we're constantly fed. I've created a new language around codependency, perfectionism, and people-pleasing, calling it emotional outsourcing. Rooted in accessible nervous system science and my own story as a queer Latina immigrant, this book is about coming home to yourself.

Your order sends a message that voices like mine matter and that we need more love, more care, and more science in this world. And when you order 10 or more copies, you'll get a free six-week live course with me! Plus, all orders are entered into raffles for amazing prizes like one-on-one coaching, breathwork sessions, and a spot in my six-month course, Anchored. By helping me carry this book, you're helping us show the world that cruelty doesn't get the final say - love does.

Order the book here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Mentioned in this episode:

Join The Shift today!

You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

The Shift

#345: Have you ever felt like you're watching your life from the outside? Like you're going through all the right motions, saying all the right things, but somehow feel disconnected from your own experience?

I get it, and I've been there: checking all the boxes, looking successful on paper, while feeling completely lost inside. This disconnection from yourself isn't a personality flaw or something wrong with you - it's a brilliant survival strategy your nervous system developed to keep you safe.

Join me this week as I share why I wrote my new book End Emotional Outsourcing and how it offers a revolutionary framework for understanding why so many of us feel trapped in patterns of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-abandonment.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/345

Pre-order End Emotional Outsouring here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Mentioned in this episode:

Join The Shift today!

You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

The Shift

I’ve got two special surprises for you! Order 10+ copies of End Emotional Outsourcing and you’ll get a free seat in my six-week live course — plus a chance to win a full spot in Anchored.

And if you’re in New York, join me on Sept 30th in Brooklyn for tacos, cocktails, connection, and the sweetest book party.

Get your seat in the six week live course (and your raffle entry for a FULL spot in Anchored) here:

https://beatrizalbina.com/10booksbonus/

Get your ticket to the party here: beatrizalbina.com/pubparty

Mentioned in this episode:

Buy Your Copy of End Emotional Outsourcing Today!

Please support the book by reviewing it on Amazon or Goodreads. It helps the book reach more folks who are still living in old survival patterns and don’t have language for it yet. Drop your screenshot at beatrizalbina.com/book and you’ll get access to thank-you gifts and raffles for free breathwork sessions, coaching, and audiobook copies. I appreciate you more than you know.

EEO Pre-Sale

Have you ever found yourself lying awake at 3 AM, replaying conversations and wondering if you said the wrong thing? Or maybe you're that friend who can read a room in seconds, sensing every mood shift before anyone else notices?

Here's the thing - that's not just being "super empathetic." It might be something deeper called emotional outsourcing.

Your hypervigilance, your people-pleasing, your chronic anxiety about other people's moods - those are wonderful, amazing survival strategies that once kept little you safe, but are now keeping grown you small.

This is exactly why I wrote my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits, to give you a roadmap back to your own inner knowing.

Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

Mentioned in this episode:

Join The Shift today!

You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

The Shift

My love, I have something really special for you today: I’m sharing Chapter One of my upcoming book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This chapter unpacks what emotional outsourcing really is, how it sneaks into our lives, and why it’s not your fault you’ve been carrying these patterns. You’ll hear stories from my clients, my own journey, and the cultural forces that keep us stuck in self-abandonment... plus the first steps toward reclaiming your inherent worth.

If you would like to read along, you can find chapter one at https://beatrizalbina.com/chapterone/

Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today. Pre-orders make a huge difference in helping this message reach more people.

Mentioned in this episode:

Join The Shift today!

You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

The Shift

Do you ever wonder why you sometimes feel an inexplicable rage towards the people you love most? 

If you've ever agreed to take on more work when you're already drowning, pushed through exhaustion to help others, ignored your own needs to keep the peace, or found yourself inexplicably angry about small things, this episode is for you. 

Join me this week as I teach you the mathematical formula for resentment. You’ll learn the science behind why saying "yes" when you mean "no" creates emotional labor debt, what's actually happening in your nervous system when you override your own needs, and how to start breaking free from the resentment equation.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/344

Mentioned in this episode:

Join The Shift today!

You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

The Shift

Do you find yourself constantly dispensing kindness and helpfulness in exchange for validation and approval?

This "good girl chokehold" is a survival strategy that rewires the brain, making you a professional people pleaser and preventing true intimacy. It's like being trapped in the world's most exhausting improv show where the only rule is "yes, and," except you never get to be anything but the supporting character in everyone else's story.

In End Emotional Outsourcing, you'll learn how to break free from the exhausting cycle of earning love through depletion, plus practical tools for reclaiming your inherent worth.

Pre-order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ and get beautiful bonuses to begin this work today.

Mentioned in this episode:

Join The Shift today!

You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

The Shift

#343: I receive beautiful messages from listeners telling me that being called "my angel" or "mi amor" transformed their entire week, maybe even the whole way they relate to themselves. Yet others write to express their discomfort.

The language feels too familiar, unprofessional, even anti-feminist. This divide illuminates a crucial truth about healing: when genuine tenderness makes your skin crawl, your nervous system is telling you something important.

Tune in this week to discover the neuroscience of how gentle language literally rewires our neural pathways, and why some of us recoil from warmth like it's sensory overload.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/343

Mentioned in this episode:

Join The Shift today!

You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life.

The Shift