#350: Most of us know about vampires - they can't enter your home unless you invite them in. But what's even more fascinating is they don't just ask once. They keep asking, they keep pressing, they keep finding new ways to try to make you say yes. Because they know that most people, if pressed, will eventually cave.

The less literal vampires in our everyday lives are the largely loving, well-meaning people who treat your "no, thank you" like a rough draft. They’re the ones who ask again and again until your boundaries become a negotiation, and your truth becomes something to overcome with polite social pressure.

If you've ever felt guilty for maintaining your boundaries or found yourself saying "yes" just to stop the asking, this episode is for you. Listen in to learn why well-meaning people often ignore our boundaries, how this affects your nervous system, and how to hold a solid "no, thank you" without explanation or justification.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/350

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Tenderoni Hotline #4: Hello my love! Welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our cozy corner of the Feminist Wellness podcast where I answer your most tender, honest, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and nervous system care.

In today’s episode, we’re exploring what happens when you finally find the courage to speak your truth, only to be met with defensiveness, blame, or long explanations that leave you feeling unseen and small. We’ll talk about why this happens in the body, how your nervous system perceives defensiveness as danger, and how your own body might freeze, fawn, or shut down in response. You’ll learn somatic tools to help you stay grounded in your truth, even when the person in front of you can’t meet you there.

We’ll also unpack what emotional outsourcing really means and how codependent, perfectionist, or people-pleasing habits actually live in the body. You’ll discover how your nervous system learned early on to locate safety, love, and belonging in other people’s moods or opinions, and how somatic work can gently rewire that pattern so you can begin to feel safe inside yourself again.

This conversation is tender, compassionate, and rooted in science. Because you deserve relationships where honesty feels safe, boundaries are respected, and love doesn’t require self-abandonment.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

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#349: Your partner twists your words, denies what happened, and somehow you walk away from conversations feeling like the villain. If you're dealing with an emotionally immature partner, this pattern might feel painfully familiar.

Living with an emotionally immature partner can feel like trying to navigate a wilderness without a compass, where your reasonable needs get labeled as "too sensitive" and your reality gets constantly questioned. Whether you're planning to stay and work on things or gathering strength to leave, you need practical tools to preserve your sanity and sense of self while navigating this challenging dynamic.

Tune in this week as I provide concrete strategies for grounding yourself when conversations spiral, building an internal validation system, and setting boundaries that protect your nervous system. You'll learn how to stop chasing clarity from someone who doesn't want to understand, recognize signs of genuine growth capacity, and assess the real costs to your wellbeing.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/349

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

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Tenderoni Hotline #3: Hello my love! Welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our cozy corner of the Feminist Wellness podcast where I answer your most tender, honest, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and nervous system care.

In today’s episode, we’re exploring why setting boundaries can feel so hard, and why guilt often floods in after you finally speak your truth. We’ll talk about the deep nervous system wiring that makes boundaries feel threatening, especially if you were raised to believe that love means self-sacrifice. You’ll learn how your biology, past experiences, and systemic conditioning all collide to make boundary-setting feel unsafe, even when you know it’s the right thing.

We’re also unpacking why you procrastinate, even on things that matter deeply to you. Spoiler alert: it’s not about laziness. It’s your nervous system trying to protect you from real or perceived danger. You’ll learn how freeze shows up, how perfectionism fuels it, and what gentle, practical tools can help you shift from stuck to self-led.

This work is compassionate, science-backed, and deeply honoring of your lived experience. Because you deserve to set boundaries without betrayal, take action without fear, and build a life rooted in your own nervous system safety and self-trust.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Mentioned in this episode:

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If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling.

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#348: If you feel like you’re going crazy in your relationship, where simple conversations turn into confusing battles where you’re somehow always wrong, you might be dealing with an emotionally immature partner. 

Join me this week as I dive into the signs and impact of being in a relationship with an emotionally immature person. You’ll learn the key signs of emotional immaturity in relationships, how it affects your nervous system, and the connection between childhood experiences and current relationship patterns. If you've ever felt like you're walking on eggshells in your relationship, or constantly questioning your reality, this episode is for you.

And make sure to tune in next week for part 2, where we'll discuss practical strategies for dealing with emotional immaturity in relationships.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/348

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Mentioned in this episode:

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If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling.

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Tenderoni Hotline #2: Hello my love! Welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our sweet little corner of the Feminist Wellness podcast where I answer your most tender, honest, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and nervous system care.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about what happens when someone asks you what you want... and your mind goes blank. We’ll explore why identifying your needs can feel so hard, even with something as simple as choosing dinner, and how childhood experiences and emotional outsourcing shape our capacity to know and express what we truly want.

We’ll also look at why saying no can feel so guilty it makes you say yes just to make the discomfort stop, and how that guilt is often grief in disguise. You’ll learn gentle, practical nervous system tools to reconnect with your inner yes and no, and how to start making choices that center you, with more confidence and less shutdown.

This work is compassionate, science-backed, and all about honoring the wisdom of your body. Because you deserve to trust yourself, feel safe inside your own skin, and belong deeply to you.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Mentioned in this episode:

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#347: Have you ever wondered why you keep falling into the same patterns, even when you know better?

Maybe you say yes when you really want to say no, choose emotionally unavailable partners, work until you're completely depleted, avoid conflict until you explode, or feel guilty for having basic needs. If any of these sound familiar, this week's episode is for you.

Tune in this week to learn the science behind why we repeat patterns that don't serve us. You’ll hear how our childhood experiences shape our adult behaviors, why these patterns were actually intelligent survival strategies, and practical steps to start healing those unmet needs and create new, healthier patterns.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/346

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Mentioned in this episode:

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If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling.

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Tenderoni Hotline #1: Hello my beauty! I’m so excited to introduce a brand-new segment here on Feminist Wellness, the Tenderoni Hotline, where I answer your most tender, curious, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and the nervous system.

In this episode, we’re diving into how to stop emotional outsourcing, that habit of looking outside yourself for safety, belonging, and worth, and start reclaiming those from within. I’ll share how to recognize when you’re losing yourself in other people’s needs, plus simple, science-backed nervous system regulation tools to help you catch dysregulation before it hits a 10.

This work is gentle, practical, and profoundly powerful. You deserve to feel safe in your own body and to belong deeply to yourself.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Anchored!

If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling.

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#346: What if I told you that the reason you feel exhausted by 2:00 PM every single day isn't because you're weak or lazy, but because you've been running a full-time job you didn't even know you had?

I'm talking about emotional outsourcing – the exhausting pattern of constantly monitoring everyone else's feelings, needs, and comfort levels while completely ignoring your own. You become fluent in everyone else's emotional language while losing the ability to decode your own basic signals. You'll sit through meetings with a full bladder, ignore hunger pangs until you're shaky, and suppress yawns because drawing attention to your human needs feels somehow wrong.

The real tragedy isn't just the exhaustion or the resentment building underneath your constant yes-saying. It's that you never get to feel the full safety of being you in the world. Join me today to learn the true cost of emotional outsourcing, and why these survival strategies are no longer serving you.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/346

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Anchored!

If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling.

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Today is the day! My book, End Emotional Outsourcing, which I've poured my heart and science-nerd brain into, is officially out. But getting it into the world depends on what happens this week. This isn't about the money. It's about getting these life-changing words into the hands of someone who needs them.

This book challenges the "tough-it-out" messages we're constantly fed. I've created a new language around codependency, perfectionism, and people-pleasing, calling it emotional outsourcing. Rooted in accessible nervous system science and my own story as a queer Latina immigrant, this book is about coming home to yourself.

Your order sends a message that voices like mine matter and that we need more love, more care, and more science in this world. And when you order 10 or more copies, you'll get a free six-week live course with me! Plus, all orders are entered into raffles for amazing prizes like one-on-one coaching, breathwork sessions, and a spot in my six-month course, Anchored. By helping me carry this book, you're helping us show the world that cruelty doesn't get the final say - love does.

Order the book here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Mentioned in this episode:

Join Anchored!

If you’re ready to break away from anxiety and codependent relationships so you can live a life of joy and confidence, Anchored is for you. This is my 6-month high-touch, high-results coaching program, and we’re currently enrolling.

Join Anchored