In today's episode, we discuss freedom in your sex life. Three simple questions to ask of each other: What freedom do you need to explore? What do you need freedom from and where do you need the freedom to say no? Join hosts, George and Laurie in this explorative conversation and learn about what freedom means and looks like to you. These questions pose a good opportunity to explore your sexual blueprint, cultural or

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Everyone wants to feel desired certainly.

But the research shows that for women - being desired, hearing their partner's verbal admiration and open "want" - is very important to their turn on. When men are dating they instinctively know how telling their partner how sexy they look, sending flirty messages, giving their partner longing looks - tells her she's hot! George and Laurie talk through the shut down to this process and encourage men to go for it again.

#couples #eft #sexpodcast #marriage #desire #secureattachment

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In today's episode, we discuss the importance of caretaking in intimate relationships. Things can go awry when one partner is looking for affection, nurture or attunement and it's read as blame. We all need to be cared for by one another and this is an important system to tend to. Join our experts, Laurie and George to learn more about the caretaking system in your relationship, your needs that you need responded to and how you can provide everyday care to your partner. So what does this have to do with sex? Laurie challenges listeners to a 30 minute emotional debrief a day. If the partner that needs this debrief is met with care and attentiveness chances to better and more sex skyrocket! Don't believe her? Give it a try and make sure to write in your results of the challenge to our listener mailbag on our website www.foreplayrst.com.

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Uberlube.com -- Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant. It will help keep it hot!

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“I’m just not attracted to you anymore.” - OUCH!!!I Sounds like a showstopper doesn’t it? But Laurie and George have hope for you to get it back.
We use our favorite acronym BEST SEX Conversations - to explore why people might lose attraction for the partner they’ve committed to and some ideas about getting it back. We go through the primary areas of sexual attachment from a holistic viewpoint to discover what is causing lack of attraction. Then we offer ways you can feel the gas - how to increase the turn-ons! and then we talk about ways to release the brakes on the things that turn you off.

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We’re talking about good-enough responding - responding to our partner in ways that keep us connected even when we disappoint them. Think about when a withdrawer finally comes forward; while their pursuing partner may long for whatever they’re offering, the same pursuer most likely feels doubt and mistrust about the sincerity of their withdrawing partner or the evidence that this is a start of a change pattern. George is so confident that mistrust is going to be present at this stage - he calls it a natural part of the change process. So of course - the pursuer doesn’t reward their withdrawer with success for initiation and guess what? - the withdrawing partner backs away. Fail. But what if there were a way to find a secondary target, a secondary path to stay connected. George and Laurie discuss how you can target a lesser but important target (other than true responsiveness); you can give permission for you partner’s defensive/protective move - you can let them know it makes sense to you. As hard as it seems to do, validating your partner’s defense actually helps them feel seen by you and keeps you in connection.

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In today's episode we are defining longings in a relationship. George and Laurie identify two different types of longing. The first seen as a more physical and emotional pain around an unmet need. These are longings that have to do with not being seen, or heard and require comfort and reassurance to restore safety. The second type of longing centers on growth and expansion. It is where we work to express our desire, pleasure and fantasies to one another. When there has been a prolonged negative cycle, longings typically are about safety and many couples struggle with longings that promote pleasure. What does the idea of longings bring up in you? Are yours more focused on safety or growth? Make sure to listen and share this episode with your love to learn more about what your longings are and how to express them in your relationship. 

Check out this episode's sponsor (and help keep it hot!):

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant!

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There can be so much disappointment even shame when a couple is in a sexlessness marriage. Couple can tune out and shut down their need for flesh on flesh and over time it gets harder and harder to get back. They don’t know how to repair or even talk about normal failure and so they ignore the failures. This doesn’t happen just with aging. It’s people who resign themselves to not talking about it and both withdraw. George and Laurie talk about how to get back in bed!

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In today's episode, we explore taking sex from a chore to a desired event. It's common for one partner to see sex as a way to please the other but forget about themselves. While individuals do have different levels of sexual desire, physical intimacy is still a need. Laurie and George invite sexual withdrawers to consider themselves, and their needs and wants in the sexual relationship rather than just making their partner happy. Through awareness, mindset shift and fantasy withdrawers will learn how to uncover and share their sexual needs to create more desire and want in your sexual relationship.  

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Confidence is essential for a great relationship. But how to you grow in confidence if you've lost it or never had much of it? Confidence is the end result of a string of successes. We discuss moves you can make to help yourself -- and your partner -- build their confidence by how you interact, particularly in the difficult conversations. Learn new moves to help you be successful -- and grow your confidence.

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