For natural-born fixers and problem solvers, the instinct to tackle every challenge head-on is deeply ingrained. Whether facing procrastination, overwhelm, or late-night scrolling habits, the immediate response is often to search for a solution.

 

In this episode, I explore why the concept of "fixing yourself" may be counterproductive when it comes to creating lasting change. Drawing from Internal Family Systems theory and real-world examples, I share how shifting from a fixing mindset to one of understanding can transform our approach to personal growth and habit change.

 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/174

Do you reflect on your experiences with self-criticism? In this episode, I revisit a powerful narrative technique called the "Once-Upon-a-Time" technique that helps you gain perspective on challenging situations and cultivate self-compassion. This two-part reflective practice transforms how you view your experiences by allowing you to step back and observe yourself through the lens of a neutral observer.

 

The technique involves writing about a meaningful experience twice - first from your personal perspective, and then rewriting it as if you're an anthropologist studying someone else's story. Through this process, you discover hidden thought patterns and create space for a more balanced, compassionate view of yourself and your actions.

 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/173

Why do I know exactly what to do but still don't do it? This frustrating disconnect between intellectual understanding and actual behavior isn't a sign of weakness or laziness. It's a common human experience that has logical explanations beneath the surface.

 

In this episode, I explore the knowing-doing gap – that puzzling space where we intellectually understand what would help us, but can't seem to follow through. I offer a simple three-part tool to help you bridge this gap with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment and frustration.

 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/172

Do you feel like your urges seem to have a mind of their own? Those compelling impulses to check your phone, eat something sweet, or pour another glass of wine often feel like unwelcome intruders in our carefully planned lives. However, urges aren't problems to fix—they're messengers trying to communicate something important.

 

I'll share a powerful metaphor that changed how I understand urges, along with practical prompts to help you decode what your urges are really trying to tell you. By approaching these impulses with curiosity instead of judgment, you can transform your relationship with them and access deeper self-knowledge. When you understand what drives your urges, you gain the freedom to choose how you respond to them.

 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/171

Do you try to fix or suppress your anger, and feel guilty if you can't? Many of us have been taught to see anger as shameful, unprofessional, or even dangerous. As a result, we bottle it up, push it down, and try to ignore it. The cost of burying anger is emotional exhaustion and disconnection from ourselves. 

 

In this episode, I share a different approach to anger – one that views it not as a liability but as a messenger. I offer three powerful prompts to help you relate to your anger differently, allowing you to rebuild inner trust and reconnect with your authentic self without fear of explosive expression.

 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/170

 

Do you ever feel like you've lost touch with who you really are? That somewhere along the way, between the endless to-do lists, caring for others, and just trying to survive each day, you've forgotten what makes you feel alive?

 

This episode offers a compassionate look at why we lose ourselves and practical steps to find our way back. I'll share why our disconnection makes perfect sense, how our adaptive strategies that once helped us survive can eventually obscure our true selves, and a simple yet powerful exercise to begin reconnecting with who you really are beneath all the layers of coping and survival.

 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/169

Have you ever felt like there's a committee of conflicting voices in your head, each pulling you in different directions? In this episode, I explore a deceptively simple yet powerful approach: treating the different parts of your mind as if they were actual people. 

 

I share a practical pen-and-paper exercise that helps externalize what's swirling in your mind, giving you perspective on your inner landscape. This approach, rooted in Internal Family Systems, isn't about creating multiple personalities—it's about understanding why you do what you do so you can respond intentionally rather than react automatically. By treating your parts like people, you create space for compassion and tap into the wise core of who you are beneath all the mental noise.

 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/168

Have you ever wondered what's actually holding you back from changing your most frustrating habits? As a natural problem-solver and detective at heart, I've discovered that our most persistent habits aren't just behaviors to be modified, they're symptoms of deeper burdens our internal parts are carrying.

 

Today, I'm sharing a powerful framework that offers genuine hope for lasting change. The concept of the Unburdened System, beautifully illustrated by Mariel Pastor, provides a north star for what's possible when we heal the root causes of our habits. This isn't about quick fixes or surface-level strategies—it's about understanding how our internal parts can transform when freed from the emotional burdens they've been carrying.

 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here:https://habitsonpurpose.com/167

Have you ever felt something uncomfortable and immediately wanted to make it go away? I know that feeling all too well. When discomfort arises—whether it's anxiety, shame, or frustration—my first instinct is to fix it as quickly as possible. It's like having a reflex that kicks in before I can even think about it.

 

In today's episode, I explore why this fixing reflex, though completely natural, often backfires. When we rush to fix our uncomfortable emotions, we're actually extending their stay. I'll walk you through practical ways to access curiosity even when it feels impossible, and why having the courage to drop the fight against your feelings is ultimately less exhausting than continuing to resist them.

 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/166

Have you ever felt so stuck that you don't know which way is up or down? That disorienting feeling where you're bewildered about how to take even the first step forward? It's a frustrating place to be, cycling through thoughts of "I have no clue what to do" while flitting between half-completed tasks instead of tackling what truly matters.

 

In today's episode, I'm offering you a lifeline for those moments when you feel hopelessly stuck. I'll share why we get stuck in the first place, what might be happening beneath the surface, and most importantly, a practical "cheat sheet" you can use immediately to start finding your way forward. This simple acronym—PACE—will give you concrete steps to take when you feel like there's no clear path ahead.

 

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/165