HERself

Today we’re welcoming Claire Lerner back to the podcast! Claire specializes in helping parents understand and support big reactors—kids whose emotions and reactions tend to run higher and deeper than most.

Our first episode with Claire was one of our most popular, so we knew we had to bring her back for round two. If you’re parenting a child with a sensitive temperament, this episode will leave you feeling seen and equipped with real strategies to help your family thrive.

In this conversation, we dive deeper into what works—and what doesn’t—when parenting spirited kids. Amy opens up about what she used to do differently before learning more about emotional regulation, and why she no longer feels like there’s no hope. Claire reminds us that growth for these kids starts with growth in us as parents—and with the right tools, things really can get better.

We talk about what to do when traditional talk therapy isn’t the right fit, and how to handle it when your partner isn’t on the same page. Claire also shares how to navigate the tricky moments when siblings point out that your big reactor seems to get “different rules,” and what to do when their emotions seem even bigger in public settings. She explains why confidence and praise can be complicated for deeply feeling kids, and how to shift your language so it encourages them. We even cover what to do when a big reactor crosses a line with a younger sibling.

Claire brings in real-life examples from her work, and we include some of the listener questions you submitted ahead of time. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed or worried that things will never improve, this episode will remind you that progress is possible—it’s never too late to reconnect and help your child (and yourself) grow.

Visit Claire’s Website: https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/

Follow Claire on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lernerchilddevelopment/

Listen to episode #157 with Claire Lerner: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/clairelerner

Claire’s new book Big Reactors: https://amzlink.to/az00iZb3Kz7XS 

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

VUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself 

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Today’s episode looks a little different—Abby is solo behind the mic to share something that’s been weighing on her heart: the tug-of-war between loving motherhood and missing freedom.

Freedom has always been one of Abby’s top core values, but motherhood changes everything. Overnight, the spontaneity disappears, replaced by structure, schedules, and responsibility. As much as we love our children, there’s this deep ache for autonomy—time to just be without worrying about what someone else needs next.

In this raw and relatable conversation, Abby shares real-life reframes and practical strategies for moms who feel like they’ve lost themselves in motherhood. She opens up about the moments when she wonders, “How did I even get here?” and how she’s learning to shift her focus from what’s been lost to what’s been gained.

From navigating kids’ sports schedules to redefining productivity, Abby brings honesty, humor, and heart to this discussion. She reminds us that while this season can feel long and heavy, it’s also fleeting—and filled with growth, love, and unexpected joy.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest - https://www.eatforage.com/

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

You already know we’re open books around here, so when we sat down to record an episode of things you might not know about us, we quickly realized… this was harder than it sounded! We share so much on this podcast, but we did manage to find a few fun and unexpected things that even our most loyal listeners may not have heard before.

Amy kicks things off by sharing one about Abby—let’s just say Abby sometimes thinks the rules don’t apply to her. If she doesn’t agree with a rule, she’s not likely to follow it. Meanwhile, Amy’s perspective on rules might surprise you. We also dig into how each of us handles stress and uncertainty. Amy’s not particularly attached to things and has a grounded belief that unless something bad happens to someone she loves, everything will be okay. Abby, on the other hand, tends to think in terms of the worst case scenario—if something goes wrong, her first thought is usually, “How much work is this going to cause me?”

We also compare our spending habits. When you think of a “big purchase,” what amount comes to mind? Amy shares her number—and it might not be what you expect. While Amy is more cautious about bigger buys, she is also the queen of small, repeated purchases. Whereas Abby, even if she’s hungry, she’ll wait until she’s home to eat what’s already there.

You’ll also hear why Abby is easily influenced, how Amy falls down the doom-scrolling rabbit hole, and which one of us prefers multitasking while watching TV versus doing things in total silence. And finally, Amy shares what she means when she says she has a calling to be a wild and free animal.

This one’s lighthearted, real, and full of those behind-the-scenes stories that make us who we are. Tune in for laughter, a few surprises, and maybe a deeper understanding of why we each do the things we do.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

In a world of all kinds of parenting information Abby and Amy have really honed in on what their true core values are when it comes to raising their kids. In today’s episode they dive into their core parenting pillars.

In this episode, you’ll hear heartfelt stories and practical parenting tips centered around defining family values, embracing differences, and fostering inclusion. The conversation covers how both families value the importance of safety measures like wearing helmets, promoting healthy lifestyles through balanced meals and regular movement, and teaching sportsmanship and respect to adults and peers on and off the field. Abby and Amy also discuss encouraging independence, building resilience by allowing their kids to solve age-appropriate problems at home or school, and finding balance with screen time to promote a healthy relationship with tech and foster more family connection. 

The hope with today’s episode is that you take away the fact that every family can have different core pillars and values, and that’s okay! Finding what you feel strongly about and standing firm in those values that drive your everyday decisions is what is important! 

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

COZY EARTH: 20% off with code HERSELF https://cozyearth.com/

CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herself

PATREON: Join our exclusive community where we drop a bonus episode every single week: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

The subject of in-laws is one that hits home for many of us—and today’s conversation with Dr. Tracy D goes deep. One of our most downloaded episodes ever featured her, and we knew we had to bring her back to talk about what’s changed, what hasn’t, and how to navigate these tricky family patterns in new seasons of life.

You didn’t just marry your partner—you married into their family’s patterns. Where’s the line between accepting those patterns and creating healthy boundaries? Dr. Tracy helps us understand the balance between acceptance and self-protection, reminding us that you are not the bad one for noticing the pattern.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated, guilty, or misunderstood in your in-law relationships, this episode will leave you feeling seen, grounded, and hopeful about what’s possible.

Connect with Dr. Tracy D:

Book: You, Your Husband, and His Mother (coming soon!): https://www.drtracyd.com/

Instagram: @drtracyd

Listen to past HERself episodes with Dr. Tracy:

• Episode 16: HERself Expert: Psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish on Managing Anxiety in a Pandemic: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/16-herself-expert-psychologist-dr-tracy-dalgleish-on-managing-anxiety-in-a-pandemic

• Episode 17: HERself Expert: Dr. Tracy Dalgleish - Psychologist and Couples Therapist on How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy During Social Distancing: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/17-herself-expert-dr-tracy-dalgleish-psychologist-and-couples-therapist-on-how-to-keep-your-relationship-healthy-during-social-distancing

• Episode 93: HERself Expert: Tracy Dalgleish On All Things In-Laws - Part 1: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/93-herself-expert-tracy-dalgleish-on-all-things-in-laws-part-1

• Episode 94: HERself Expert: Tracy Dalgleish On All Things In-Laws - Part 2: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/94-herself-expert-tracy-dalgleish-on-all-things-in-laws-part-2

• Episode 198: Dr. Tracy D on Reconnecting with Your Partner: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/tracydreconnectingwithyourpartner

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location

CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

Aging has been on our minds a lot lately. At 39, we’re standing on the edge of a new decade, and with that, we continue to have more  conversations around perimenopause, energy levels, and taking care of our bodies. In this episode, we’re opening up about what aging looks and feels like for us right now—the struggles, the science, accepting it, and the ways we’re finding strength in this next chapter.

Abby shares her personal journey with hormone replacement therapy (HRT) after her doctor recommended it to help with fatigue, weight fluctuations, and low energy despite healthy habits. She explains what the process has been like, why she finally took the leap, and how HRT has impacted her day-to-day life. We also talk about why perimenopause isn’t linear and how that affects women differently—including why pregnancies are still common in your early 40s.

If you’re in a similar phase of life, we bring you really tangible ideas and where to start. . From magnesium and supplements to lifting weights and prioritizing sleep, we dive into the small but powerful habits that can set us up for long-term success. Amy shares why she credits weightlifting for her energy at age 39, how her college years shaped her approach to fitness, and why she plans to keep lifting into her 80s. We also touch on NAD+ injections, the role of fiber in our diets, and why working out isn’t about chasing a certain look—it’s about creating a body that can carry us into our future.

As women, it’s easy to fall into comparison traps—whether it’s against the version of ourselves 20 years ago or the highlight reel of another woman’s life. But aging has taught us to focus less on the scale and more on how we feel. Our habits are catching up with us now more than ever, and that’s not a bad thing—it’s a chance to make meaningful, lasting changes.

At the heart of this episode is a reminder: aging is a blessing. It’s a privilege to grow older, to share life with the people we love, and to keep finding new ways to take care of ourselves. We hope this conversation leaves you inspired to embrace aging with curiosity, compassion, and the courage to take even one small step forward.

Follow @dramyshah on Instagram 

The health and wellness products we swear by: Affiliate Link

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herself

VUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself 

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Parenting school-age kids comes with a unique set of challenges—from overflowing backpacks and sports schedules to snacks, lunches, uniforms, and the endless drop-offs and pick-ups. It’s a lot to manage, and the truth is: no one can do it all alone. We open up about what it looks like in our households to share the parenting load and how we’ve learned to find balance with our partners over the last 10 years.

You’ll hear the different ways our families divide responsibilities—whether it’s one partner planning while the other executes, or one person taking a task from start to finish. Abby also shares how Colin’s work travel adds another layer to family dynamics, but the systems they’ve created together help keep things running smoothly.

The conversation also dives into helicopter partnering, letting go of control, and trusting that even if your partner’s way looks different (or happens on a different timeline), the important thing is that the task gets done. We also lean on our community—asking for help when needed and offering support in return.

This episode is a reminder that building independence in kids, sharing the load with your partner, and proactively communicating can make family life feel more balanced and joyful.

If you’re navigating the busy school years and wondering how to better share the load at home, this episode will give you both perspective and practical takeaways.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

COZY EARTH: 20% off with code HERSELF https://cozyearth.com/

PATREON: Join our exclusive community where we drop a bonus episode every single week: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

JONES Dairy Farm: High quality, responsibility sourced meats you can feel confident feeding to your family. Check them out: https://www.jonesdairyfarm.com/

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Have you ever caught yourself sounding just like your parents? Today we reflect on the lessons—both spoken and unspoken—that our parents, coaches, and role models left with us, and how they’ve shaped the women and moms we are today.

From confidence and community to money and independence, these life lessons are now the ones we’re passing down to our own kids. Amy shares how her mom’s approach to appearance built her confidence from the inside out, while Abby opens up about her mom’s influence around food, body image, and community involvement. Amy also remembers her dad’s encouragement to always be financially independent, and Abby gets vulnerable about what money represented in her childhood—a story she’s never shared before.

We also chat briefly about the latest reality TV drama (yes, the new Bachelorette!) before diving back into what it really means to carry these lessons forward. Whether the wisdom came from parents, coaches, or mentors, it’s worth reflecting on the positive examples you had growing up and how you’re creating that same legacy for your own children today.

Tune in and reflect with us—you’ll be reminded that the work you’re doing as a mom matters, in ways your children will carry for life.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herself

GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herself

PATREON: Join our exclusive community where we drop a bonus episode every single week: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Marriage is a constant journey of learning, growth, and reminding ourselves of the basics—especially during stressful seasons. In this week’s episode, we’re taking you behind the scenes of our own marriages to share the top three lessons we’ve each learned with our spouses over the years.

We kick things off with a little chit chat (thanks to Colin for the idea!) about what we’ve been reading and watching lately before diving into the heart of the episode: the relationship lessons that continue to shape our marriages.

Here’s what you’ll hear in today’s episode:

• Amy’s #1: Why standing by your core values matters, even when it feels uncomfortable—especially when it comes to finances.
  
  
  
• Abby’s #1: The power of speaking up when it matters most (without nitpicking everything).
  
  
  
• Amy’s #2: Shifting your perspective from “me vs. you” to “us vs. the problem.”
  
  
  
• Abby’s #2: Embracing the reality that we all change over time—and learning to love your spouse as they grow.
  
  
  
• Amy’s #3: Letting your partner positively influence you (this one gets spicy!).
  
  
  
• Abby’s #3: Why having dreams together matters—and how to let your spouse in on yours.
  
  
  

If you’ve been craving real, honest conversations about what makes marriage work, this episode will give you tangible reminders, relatable stories, and encouragement to keep building a strong foundation with your partner.

Let us know what resonates most with you! Share your biggest takeaway from this episode over on Instagram @herselfpodcast—we love hearing from you.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Conflict is a natural part of every relationship—whether it’s in marriage, friendship, family, or work. In this week’s episode, we’re diving into the 5 different conflict styles (the accommodator, the avoider, the compromiser, the competitor, and the collaborator) and exploring how they show up in our lives.

We share personal stories and examples of how conflict plays out differently in our marriages versus our friendships. Abby opens up about realizing her conflict style might not be what she originally thought after reflecting with her husband, Colin, who leans more toward the “need to be right” style. Amy talks about how she used to lean heavily on avoidance but, through therapy, has been growing into a more collaborative approach.

Inside this episode, you’ll learn:

• What the 5 conflict styles are and how they show up in relationships.
  
  
• Why saying “we never fight” might actually mean you’re not speaking up for yourself.
  
  
• Why our conflict styles can look different in marriage vs. friendships.
  
  
• How to decide which relationships are worth working through conflict for.
  
  

Remember: the goal isn’t to avoid conflict altogether, but to understand how you (and those around you) approach it so you can move toward healthier resolutions.

• Read the article on the 5 conflict styles here.

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herself

FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location

CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herself

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.