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Tabitha leads us through five powerful grounding exercises designed to help us slow down, reset our nervous systems, and find moments of peace during difficult times.
If you found these grounding exercises helpful, please share this episode with someone who might need it, and rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your preferred platform to help others find this resource.
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/
This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?
You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V
Support the show
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
Teen dating violence and emotional abuse isn’t just “puppy love gone wrong.” It’s a serious issue that affects 1 in 3 teens, often before they even graduate high school. And it rarely starts with bruises - it starts with control, pressure, manipulation, isolation, and fear.
In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down what teen coercive control really looks like, the warning signs parents and teens should never ignore, and how faith communities can respond with wisdom and compassion.
We’ll cover:
✅ The difference between conflict and coercive control
✅ Red flags every teen and parent should know
✅ The impact of shame, secrecy, and spiritual confusion
✅ How to help your teen build healthy, God-honoring relationships
✅ Practical steps for safety, healing, and hope
If you’re a parent, teen, or church leader who wants to better understand how abuse can start early - and how to break the cycle before it takes root - this conversation is for you.
📌 Resources Mentioned:
National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: https://www.loveisrespect.org
Domestic Shelters.org - https://www.domesticshelters.org/
Learn more about trauma-informed care & parenting coaching: https://www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
👉 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode to spread awareness and help protect the next generation.
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/
This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?
You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V
Support the show
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
Ever tried to be kind to yourself only to be flooded with shame, grief, or anxiety? There's a name for this paradoxical reaction to self-compassion: backdraft. Like oxygen hitting smoldering embers in a closed room, self-compassion can sometimes trigger explosive emotions from unaddressed wounds that have been waiting for acknowledgment.
Drawing from Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, this episode unpacks why this happens and affirms that you're not failing at self-compassion—you're actually beginning to heal. We explore how backdraft manifests emotionally, mentally, physically, and behaviorally, providing concrete strategies to work through these intense responses. From naming your experience to engaging your support system, these practical tools help transform backdraft from a setback into a signpost of healing.
For those navigating trauma recovery or wrestling with faith questions, we examine how self-compassion mirrors God's gentleness toward us rather than representing self-indulgence. When we've internalized negative messages about our worth, often from abusive relationships or harmful spiritual teachings, self-compassion helps break these curses and vows. The journey isn't about rushing through healing but opening doors with care and letting fresh air into your soul at a pace you can handle.
This episode offers hope for anyone who's wondered why being kind to themselves suddenly feels terrible. Your heart isn't rejecting healing. It's finally acknowledging pain that's been there all along. By practicing titration, noticing glimmers of goodness, and approaching yourself with the gentleness God extends to you, you can transform backdraft from a painful explosion into evidence that light is finally reaching your darkest places.
Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Subscribe to Hey Tabi for weekly conversations that bring hope and practical wisdom to your healing journey.
Grab the Digital Companion Guide for Body & Soul, Healed & Whole here - https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/ah0hh6YLomd7JSjccL0t
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?
You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V
Support the show
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
Trauma survivors often master compassion for everyone - except themselves. This creates a hidden cost to their healing journey. Self-compassion isn't self-indulgence but actually mirrors God's heart toward us and represents a crucial piece in trauma recovery.
• Self-compassion consists of three parts, as stated by Kristin Neff: self-kindness vs. self-judgment, common humanity vs. isolation, and mindfulness vs. over-identification
• Trauma distorts our ability to show ourselves compassion, making us hypercritical and feeling isolated in our pain
• Scripture shows God's compassionate heart toward us - "He knows how we are formed. He remembers we are dust" (Psalm 103:13-14)
• Jesus never spoke harshly to the broken and hurting
• Self-talk shapes our reality - reframing negative thoughts is crucial for healing
• Soul-care involves tending to your whole being - physical, emotional, and spiritual - with self-compassion
• Practical steps are included to help you move toward self-compassion
Self-compassion is an act of holy rebellion against trauma's lies. Even micro-movements in self-compassion create meaningful progress in healing
Try just one self-compassion practice today - micro-movements still move you forward. You're not being selfish; you're walking in who God created you to be.
Resources:
Rachel Wojo - https://rachelwojo.com/.
Her books referenced are:
One More Step - https://cardshop.rachelwojo.com/products/one-more-step-finding-strength-when-you-feel-like-giving-up
Desperate Prayers - https://cardshop.rachelwojo.com/products/desperate-prayers
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
At The Journey and The Process we strive to help you heal. Our therapists are trauma specialists who use evidence-based tools like EMDR, Brainspotting, Somatic Experiencing, and Internal Family Systems to help you heal - mind, soul, and body. Reach out today to start your healing journey. https://thejourneyandtheprocess.com/
This book is for every Christian woman who has been harmed sexually, whether that happened in childhood, adulthood, or even within your coercive controlling marriage, and you're longing to feel safe in your body again. We talk about the hard stuff, shame, desire, faith, and even questions like, is this sin or is this trauma?
You don't have to untangle it alone. Body & Soul, Healed & Whole is for you. Get a copy here today - https://a.co/d/8Jo3Z4V
Support the show
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
Are you quick to label someone a narcissist? This episode of Hey Tabi explores if the person hurting you displays signs of something even more dangerous. We'll cover dark psychology and challenge popular assumptions across the mental health spectrum as licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the concept of coercive control and why labeling a partner as a narcissist can miss the mark. Learn how coercive control deceives, manipulates, and endangers, and discover how to reclaim your clarity and safety. Get ready for an eye-opening discussion that may change the language you use about this forever. Listen now to understand the true severity of coercive control and why it's crucial for your well-being to understand. Don't miss out!
Called to Peace Ministries: https://calledtopeace.org/
Domestic Shelters: https://www.domesticshelters.org/
Questions to ask a therapist: https://link.therasaas.com/widget/form/WDGh5bZuWDbk2OJqWQAm
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
Support the show
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
Is male sexuality really just about lust—or have we been sold a lie?
In this deeply vulnerable episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Sam Jolman joins Tabitha Westbrook to uncover the untold story of male sexuality, emotional connection, and healing. Together, they expose how purity culture, porn exposure, and spiritual distortion have warped men’s understanding of their own bodies and desires, often with devastating consequences.
Whether you're a man trying to understand your sexual story, a woman wondering why your partner shuts down, or a therapist supporting clients through sexual trauma recovery, this episode will reshape how you think about intimacy, identity, and embodiment.
You’ll learn:
This is the conversation we should’ve had decades ago, but it’s not too late. Men were made for more than performance. They were made for love, tenderness, and true intimacy. It’s time to reclaim that.
🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS
→ Sam Jolman’s book: The Sex Talk You Never Got - https://amzn.to/4ogAohx
→ Sam’s website: https://www.samjolman.com/
CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Welcome to Hey Tabi
01:20 Meet Sam Jolman & his journey
05:23 Purity culture myths & male shame
08:47 Mechanics vs Poetics of Sex
13:37 Healthy masculinity & emotional intimacy
20:41 Marriage, trauma & knowing your partner
29:43 Pornography exposure as harm
35:10 How men connect emotionally
41:59 Why safe touch and community matter
50:10 The church’s silent role in sexual harm
56:33 Reclaiming pleasure, play & healing
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
Support the show
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
What if your story of suffering isn’t disqualifying—but the very space where Jesus meets you? In this powerful and grace-soaked episode of Hey Tabi, I sit down with the one and only Elyse Fitzpatrick - author, counselor, and fierce advocate for the unloved and unseen.
We dive deep into:
Elyse also shares the story behind her new book Unloved: The Rejected Saints God Calls Beloved, and we talk about what it means to find hope when life hasn’t turned out the way you were promised it would.
This one’s for every woman who wonders if she’s too broken, too messy, or too far gone. Spoiler alert: you’re not. Jesus sees you—and He calls you beloved.
👇 LINKS & RESOURCES
Find Elyse here - https://elysefitzpatrick.com/
Order Unloved by Elyse Fitzpatrick here - https://elysefitzpatrick.com/book/unloved-the-rejected-saints-god-calls-beloved/
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
Support the show
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
What does it really mean to be a "doer of the Word" like it says in the book of James?
In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Neil Schori, pastor, father, and Director of Church Partnerships at Called to Peace Ministries, to tackle how being doers of the Word should make churches look. Together, they unpack James 1:22-27 and challenge what it really means to “be doers of the word.” Spoiler: it’s not about ignoring abuse.
You’ll hear real talk on:
This is not your average talk about a scirpture. It’s a call for churches to embody the heart of Christ, not just quote His words. If you're a pastor, elder, biblical counselor, or therapist, this episode is your mirror moment. Don't walk away unchanged.
🔗 Want to help your church do better? Learn more about Called to Peace Ministries and their Church Partnership Program: www.calledtopeace.org
Book mentioned: 37 WAYS TO BE TAKEN CAPTIVE: Warning Signs and Prevention for Destructive Relationships by Syndey Millage - https://a.co/d/9GDLfK6
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
Support the show
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
What if the marriage advice you were taught in church is actually what's ruining your marriage?
In this powerful and data-backed conversation, author and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire joins Tabitha to unpack the myths evangelical culture has fed us about sex, submission, and "roles" in marriage and how those messages have led to entitlement, emotional immaturity, and deep harm for both men and women.
In this eye-opening episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with author, podcaster, and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire (BareMarriage.com) to dive deep into the truth about evangelical messages on sex and marriage.
Drawing on data from over 32,000 survey responses, Sheila exposes the damaging beliefs that have shaped evangelical culture—from the “72-hour rule” to male headship—and replaces them with Christ-centered, evidence-based truth about healthy intimacy, mutuality, and emotional regulation.
They tackle:
Whether you’re single, married, deconstructing, or holding on by a thread—this conversation is the invitation to rethink what God-honoring marriage truly looks like.
📘 Grab Sheila’s latest book The Marriage You Want, and be sure to grab copies of The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better if you don't already have them!
Find Shelia!
✨ Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more honest, faith-integrated conversations about trauma, healing, and hope.
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
Support the show
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
What if the sweetest thing someone ever did for you… was actually part of the abuse?
In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into the tactic of manipulative kindness, a dangerous, confusing form of coercive control that keeps victims stuck in toxic relationships.
This isn’t the “honeymoon phase.” It’s not real love. It’s a weapon dressed up as a gift.
You’ll learn:
If you've ever been told, “See? He's trying,” right after being harmed, or felt guilty for not being grateful for someone’s sudden niceness, this episode is for you.
💡 Kindness should never come with strings.
💡 Control wrapped in charm is still control.
🎧 Listen now and take the first step toward clarity and healing.
🛑 Need help? Resources below.
📚 Mentioned Resources:
Wanna say hi? Send a text!
Support the show
👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!
📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control
Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi
📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com
💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there
🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.
Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.
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