Hey Tabi!

What if the church's problem isn't ignoring sex, but being obsessed with it in all the wrong ways? Does the Church really function like a sex addict? This provocative question frames our exploration into how evangelical Christianity's approach to sexuality has created environments where abuse thrives and healthy intimacy struggles to exist.

The fingerprints of this unhealthy fixation appear everywhere—from crude pulpit talk to the hyper-focus on female modesty while neglecting male accountability. Purity culture has left countless believers without the language to identify abuse or the tools to build truly intimate relationships. 

Behind church doors, pornography use among leadership is stunningly prevalent. A recent Barna study commissioned by Pure Desire Ministries reveals just how common this struggle is, raising serious questions about how consumption of increasingly violent content shapes attitudes toward women. This isn't merely a personal struggle—it's reshaping how entire congregations understand gender, power, and sexuality. 

The path forward requires courage and honesty. We must expand our understanding of intimacy beyond sexual intercourse, recognizing the beautiful complexity of human connection God designed. From youth ministry to premarital counseling, we need meaningful conversations that prepare believers for the realities they'll face while offering a truly counter-cultural vision of sexuality, one marked not by obsession or shame, but by wholeness and genuine intimacy. 

Ready to join this crucial conversation? Share your thoughts and experiences as we work toward healthier approaches to sexuality in our faith communities.

Pure Desire Ministries - https://puredesire.org/
Beyond the Porn Phenomenon - Pure Desire/Barna Study - https://puredesire.org/shop/beyond-the-porn-phenomenon/

How to find a CSAT or PSAP - https://iitap.com/

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📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What if what you were taught about God isn't what God actually wanted you to believe?

In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook dives deep into what happens when our theology has been shaped by fear, shame, spiritual abuse, or coercive control. If you've ever questioned your faith because of how it was used against you, this episode offers permission to wrestle, reexamine, and rebuild.

Tabitha explores:

• How faith gets twisted in abusive environments
• The weaponization of submission, forgiveness, and suffering
• What deconstruction really means (and why it’s not a dirty word)
• How disentangling false beliefs can lead to healing and deeper connection with God
• The difference between condemnation and conviction
• Why Jesus never sided with abusers, and how God actually responds to your questions

Whether you’re in the middle of reexamining long-held beliefs, grieving spiritual harm, or just wondering where God is in your story, this episode will meet you with truth, tenderness, and hope.

📥 Download the free reflection guide mentioned in this episode: tabithawestbrook.com/heytabi

🎧 Listen to Safe to Hope, Season 6 Episode 2, Jesus is My Captain here - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/season-6-episode-2-jesus-is-my-captain/id1643769999?i=1000690797075

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Did King David commit adultery—or was it something much darker? In this deeply important episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook examines the true story of David and Bathsheba. Spoiler: It’s not the sanitized ‘affair’ we’ve often been told. It’s a story of power, coercion, and sexual violence—rape by a man in power.

Join us as we read 2 Samuel 11 in its entirety, challenge cultural and spiritual myths that have silenced victims for centuries, and explore how this ancient abuse of power still echoes in today’s world—especially in the church. We’ll talk about the real meaning of consent, the trauma of sexual violence, and why it matters to name these truths clearly.

We also dig into:
 ✅ Why Bathsheba’s “consent” wasn’t possible
 ✅ How spiritual bypassing can harm survivors today
 ✅ The difference between sin and an abuse of power
 ✅ The consequences David faced—and what it teaches us about accountability
 ✅ And how God’s mercy and justice show up even in these heartbreaking stories

If you’ve ever felt silenced, or if you’ve wondered how to read these hard biblical passages with both faith and trauma-informed compassion, this episode is for you. Because naming the truth is the first step toward real healing.

👉 Resources mentioned in this episode:
📚 Desiring God Article by John Piper on this scripture - https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/did-bathsheba-sin-with-david

🔔 Subscribe for more:

• Real conversations about trauma, faith, and healing
• Weekly episodes exploring mental health from a Christian perspective

#traumarecovery #biblicaltrauma #domesticabuse #heytabi #sexualviolence #davidandbathsheba #churchaccountability #traumainformedfaith #healingjourney #christianpodcast

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Is healing from trauma ever really “finished?" In this compelling episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist and host Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. Chuck DeGroat—therapist, pastor, and author of "Healing What’s Within"—to unpack the long journey of trauma recovery, especially in faith-based spaces.

Together, they explore:

• What it means when trauma lingers for decades
• Why “getting over it” isn’t always the goal
• How to practice self-compassion when your nervous system says you're not safe
• The connection between developmental trauma, spiritual abuse, and physical illness
• What churches often get wrong about trauma—and what survivors really need

Whether you're a survivor, a spiritual leader, or someone walking alongside others in pain, this episode offers deep validation, wisdom, and hope for the slow, sacred work of healing.

👉 Don’t forget to subscribe for more conversations that blend trauma-informed care with real, faith-integrated dialogue.

📘 Learn more about Chuck’s book & grab a copy: "Healing What’s Within" - https://amzn.to/3SilvN7

#heytabipodcast #ChuckDeGroat #TraumaHealing #SpiritualAbuse #ChristianTherapist #FaithAndTrauma #ComplexTrauma #HealingJourney #ChurchHurt #NarcissismInTheChurch

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What does true repentance look like for someone who has abused their partner? Is real change possible—and if so, what does it take?

In this hard-hitting episode of Hey Tabi, trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with pastor, biblical counselor, and domestic abuse interventionist Chris Moles to dig into the gritty realities of faith-based perpetrator intervention. Together, they unpack:

- Why traditional couples counseling fails in abuse cases
- What the Men of Peace program teaches about accountability and repentance
- How coercive control distorts a person’s view of love, intimacy, and authority
- Why emotional abuse is often just the beginning—and how to detect sexual coercion
- How pastors can avoid colluding with abusers and instead walk in truth and justice
- The vital need for multidisciplinary care teams to support both survivors and perpetrators

Whether you’re a survivor, a ministry leader, or a clinician, this conversation will challenge and equip you with biblical insight, clinical depth, and gospel hope.

💡 Listen in as we call abusers to repentance and the church to courage.

🔗 Find Chris at chrismoles.org, menofpeace.org

📘 Mentioned Resources: 
The Heart of Domestic Abuse - https://amzn.to/43g0BDq
Caring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse - https://amzn.to/4jXYOd7
When Home Hurts - https://amzn.to/3YP3tpq

🛑 Trigger Warning: This episode contains candid discussion of abuse, sexual coercion, and spiritual harm.

🎧  If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with Dr. David Pooler—professor of social work, licensed clinical social worker, and director of the Adult Clergy Sexual Abuse Advocacy and Research Collaborative. Together, they tackle one of the most urgent yet under-discussed issues facing faith communities today: adult clergy sexual abuse.

From the psychology of abusive leaders to the church's mishandling of sexual misconduct, Tabitha and Dr. Pooler explore how trauma, theology, and power intersect in devastating ways—and how survivors can lead the way toward healing and justice. They discuss everything from the Me Too and Church Too movements, why so many church leaders are unequipped to deal with abuse, and what true restorative justice in religious spaces could look like.

If you're a survivor, a pastor, a therapist, or just someone who cares about the church being a place of healing, not harm—this conversation is a must-listen.

👉 Topics include:

• The hidden crisis of adult clergy sexual abuse
• Why survivors are the experts the church needs to hear
• The dangers of quick re-platforming and institutional silence
• EMDR and trauma-informed care for Christian leaders
• The role of shame, theology, and spiritual formation in abuse dynamics
• What a trauma-informed, safe church could look like
• Why real accountability isn’t punitive—it’s redemptive

🙏 This conversation contains sensitive content about sexual trauma and clergy misconduct. Please take care while listening.

Find Dr. Pooler's work at https://socialwork.web.baylor.edu/person/david-pooler

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

Have you ever feared being seen as the "nagging wife" from Proverbs? You're not alone.

In this powerful episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook sits down with women's leader and author Kelly Galyean to explore how biblical illiteracy has fueled shame and silence for many Christian women. Together, they unpack how Scripture has often been misunderstood or weaponized—especially in the context of marriage, trauma, and abuse.

Kelly vulnerably shares her story of learning about these verses in context, and with courage and hope. They also discuss how the church can better support women, what healthy marriages actually look like, and why biblical literacy is critical for healing from spiritual and emotional harm.

Plus, Kelly introduces her Christian romance novel How Can It Be?—a redemptive story of love, grace, and starting over.

Whether you've felt silenced, shamed, or just spiritually stuck, this episode offers wisdom, warmth, and practical encouragement for your healing journey.

Find Kelly - http://www.kelligalyean.com/
Kelly's Instagram - @kelli.a.galyean
Order How Can It Be? - https://a.co/d/901G5Ly

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

If you've ever had Scripture twisted to keep you silent, ashamed, or stuck in an abusive relationship, you are not alone. In this episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook breaks down why biblical literacy is a critical part of healing after abuse, coercive control, and spiritual harm.

You'll learn:
📖 What true biblical literacy is (and why it's different from memorizing random verses)
❌ How abusers misuse Scripture to manipulate and control survivors
✝ Why understanding the Bible for yourself can be a powerful tool for reclaiming your voice and your faith
🙌🏼 How to try out different Bible translations to find the version that feels safest and least triggering for your healing journey

If you’ve struggled with spiritual abuse, religious trauma, or confusion about God's heart for you, this episode will equip you to take your first gentle steps back toward truth, safety, and hope.

🎧  If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

In the beginning was the Word. Jesus spoke everything into existence. We know when we've been traumatized the words spoken over us are curses. Those curses often replay like a horrific record. Today we’re breaking chains and speaking life.

Healing from trauma requires breaking the chains of harmful words spoken over us and replacing them with life-giving truth that restores our sense of dignity, worth, and value.

• Speaking life over ourselves counteracts the curses and negative messages that trauma imprints on us
• God never aligns with abusive structures, systems, or individuals
• Spiritual abuse distorts God's voice and weaponizes faith against victims
• Boundaries are not rebellion—even Jesus established healthy boundaries
• Our identity is not defined by what happened to us or the coping skills we used
• Healing isn't linear but resembles a bowl of spaghetti with ups and downs
• Joy is possible even after trauma
• We can move beyond the labels of "victim" or "survivor" to become an "overcomer"
• Creating personal reminders of truth can help rewire our brains from those distorted thought patterns

I encourage you to write your own life-speaking truths that address your specific situation. Keep them in a notebook or on index cards and review them regularly, especially when negative thoughts are screaming at you. 

If you're willing, share your affirmations in the comments on the YouTube video or head over to my Instagram @tabithathecounselor and share them there!

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.

What No One Tells You About Using Your Voice After Trauma

In this powerful episode of the Hey Tabi podcast, licensed trauma therapist Tabitha Westbrook unpacks the often untold truth about what happens when survivors start to use their voice after trauma. Drawing from her expertise in domestic abuse, coercive control, and Christian trauma recovery, Tabitha explores the emotional, relational, and systemic risks that can arise when you begin speaking your truth.

You’ll learn how reclaiming your voice can lead to life-changing healing—but also how it can shake up relationships, trigger resistance from unhealthy systems, and stir up old pain. With wisdom and compassion, Tabitha offers practical guidance on how to safely and confidently use your voice while staying grounded in self-awareness, discernment, and faith.

Whether you’re healing from emotional abuse, navigating complex trauma, or trying to integrate your Christian faith with your recovery journey, this episode will give you the clarity, tools, and encouragement you need to keep going.

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

Support the show

👍 If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share to help others who need this information!

📖 Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

Wanna support Hey Tabi? Buy me a coffee here - https://buymeacoffee.com/heytabi

📩 Connect with Tabitha & The Journey and The Process:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com

Subscribe to our YouTube Channel & watch podcast episodes there

🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Need to know how to find a great therapist? Read this blog post here.