Rob and Tami answer some common listener questions from both partners who have been betrayed and addicts who want to repair their relationship with their spouses. Rob answers questions like: How do you trust someone who has betrayed you? How can you best balance work/life and therapy? And answers the question if you can change your sexual arousal template. 

 

TAKEAWAYS: 

[0:35] How do you trust an addict in recovery? 

[2:30] Why do you need to go to counseling when your partner was the one that betrayed you? 

[4:10] Is it possible to reconcile with your partner after a huge 20+ year betrayal? Even when you feel like they were never attracted to you? 

[6:30] Can you change your sexual arousal template? 

[11:50] How can you help your partner understand that you want to do the work needed for therapy, but feeling overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities? 

[18:40] Rob has seen a lot of hopeless people come into his office because they’ve tried everything to stop and don’t believe they can be ‘cured’. 

[21:00] Check out Intherooms.com for more helpful info and resources.

[22:40] He has cheated since day one of the relationships and his spouse wants to stay married but is hurt beyond all belief. How can they overcome this? 

[24:40] What’s the difference between Sex and Love Addiction vs. Sex Addicts Anonymous?

[27:35] How can addicts better handle disclosure with their partner? 

 

RESOURCES: 

Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating Book by Robert Weiss

 

QUOTES: 

• “Men, in particular, what turns us on is visual imagery and novelty. Guess what, we really like porn because it’s visual and ever-changing.” 
• “You’re using addiction to escape because we don’t have life tools.” 
• “I wrote Out of the Doghouse because I never, ever in the 24 years of treating men with intimacy and sexual disorders, I never met a man who could heal the wounds of betrayal.”
• “Addiction is about using people. It’s not about seeing them as they are.”