How Not To Suck At Divorce

Want Your Ex to Behave Better? Try This Instead

🎧 Divorce Crash Course (DCC)

Thinking about divorce or already in it? Before you make a decision that could cost you thousands, get the information you wish someone had given you from the very beginning.

Get the Divorce Crash Course (DCC) today.

Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Whether you're considering divorce, in the middle of one, or trying to rebuild afterward, this course can save you time, money, and unnecessary heartbreak.

Episode Description

It may sound completely backwards, but sometimes the fastest way to improve your co-parenting relationship is to thank your ex.

No, this isn't about pretending they're Parent of the Year. It's not about rewarding bad behavior or forgetting everything they've put you through. It's about understanding something surprisingly simple: people tend to repeat behaviors that are acknowledged.

In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea explains why a genuine "thank you" after your co-parent does something thoughtful, flexible, or simply doesn't make your life harder can change the tone of your relationship. From switching weekends without a fight to communicating well about the kids, small moments of appreciation can reinforce the behaviors that make co-parenting easier for everyone.

If your goal is raising healthy kids—not winning against your ex—this simple mindset shift could make your divorce a little less stressful.

In This Episode

• Why positive reinforcement works on adults, too
• The psychology behind encouraging better co-parenting
• Why appreciation doesn't mean approval
• When you should (and shouldn't) thank your co-parent
• How one sentence can reduce conflict
• Why the goal is healthy kids—not keeping score
• How changing the tone of communication benefits everyone
• Why kindness can be a surprisingly effective co-parenting strategy

Key Takeaways

• You don't have to like your ex to reinforce good behavior.
• Appreciation is different from excusing past behavior.
• Positive reinforcement can encourage healthier communication.
• Your kids benefit when co-parenting becomes less adversarial.
• Sometimes the strongest strategy is changing the tone—not escalating the conflict.
• Small moments of kindness can create meaningful shifts over time.

Memorable Quotes"We repeat positive behaviors that get acknowledged.""This isn't being weak. This is strategy.""The goal isn't to win against your ex. The goal is to raise healthy kids.""You don't need to write them a haiku. Just say thank you."Resources Mentioned

• Divorce Crash Course (DCC)
• OurFamilyWizard
• Soberlink
• Divorce Guided Meditations (Coming Soon)
• How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

Subscribe & Review

If this episode made you think differently about co-parenting, we'd love your support. Please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a little more peace in their co-parenting relationship.

Your reviews help us reach more people navigating divorce, and we truly appreciate every single one.

www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

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🎧 Divorce Crash Course (DCC)

Thinking about divorce or already in it? Before you make a decision that could cost you thousands, get the information you wish someone had given you from the very beginning.

Get the Divorce Crash Course (DCC) today.

Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Whether you're considering divorce, in the middle of one, or trying to rebuild afterward, this course can save you time, money, and unnecessary heartbreak.

Episode Description

We've all heard the advice: "Be the bigger person."

But what happens when being the bigger person turns into giving away your financial security, parenting time, or legal leverage?

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill tackle one of the most common—and costly—mistakes people make during divorce: confusing kindness with surrender.

They explain why people-pleasers often struggle during negotiations, how manipulative exes exploit "nice" personalities, and why your long-term future matters far more than making today's conflict disappear.

Morgan and Andrea also share their powerful THINK framework—a practical decision-making tool to help you slow down before agreeing to anything you'll regret.

If you've ever worried about coming across as "mean" during your divorce, this conversation could save you years of regret.

In This Episode You'll Learn

• Why kindness and weakness are not the same thing
• The hidden cost of being a people pleaser during divorce
• How manipulative spouses use guilt to get what they want
• Why short-term peace often creates long-term problems
• When your attorney should be the one saying "no"
• How to protect yourself without becoming combative
• Morgan's THINK framework for making smarter divorce decisions
• Why leverage matters in divorce negotiations
• How OurFamilyWizard can reduce manipulation and conflict
• Why thinking long-term is one of the most important divorce skills you'll ever develop

How Not to Suck at Divorce's THINK Framework

Before responding to your spouse, pause and THINK:

T – Think long-term, not just about today's pain.

H – Have a purpose. Know why you're making every decision.

I – It's okay to say no.

N – Nice isn't the same as fair.

K – Keep your leverage.

Key Takeaways

• Divorce is a marathon—not a sprint.
• Being calm leads to better long-term decisions.
• Your attorney exists to protect your future, not just settle today's argument.
• Don't give something away simply because conflict feels uncomfortable.
• You can be compassionate while maintaining healthy boundaries.
• Protecting yourself isn't selfish—it's smart.

Resources Mentioned

• Divorce Crash Course (DCC)
• OurFamilyWizard
• Soberlink
• How Not to Suck at Divorce Private Community

Remember friends, we are the only podcast that can offer you 20% off your first year of Our Family Wizard! Head here: www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20

Subscribe & Review

If this episode helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every review helps us reach more people navigating one of life's hardest transitions.

www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

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🚨 Before You Spend Thousands More on Your Divorce...

If you're navigating divorce and want to avoid the costly mistakes so many people make, grab our Divorce Crash Course today.

Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Inside you'll learn:

• How to avoid expensive legal mistakes
• What to expect throughout the divorce process
• How to communicate more effectively with your attorney
• The biggest financial pitfalls people don't see coming
• Practical strategies to save money, reduce stress, and make smarter decisions

👉 Get instant access today: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Divorce: Don't Leave Your Lawyer's Office Confused (It Could Cost You Thousands)

Have you ever walked out of your attorney's office, gotten into your car, and suddenly realized...

"I don't actually know what we just decided."

You're not alone.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill tackle one of the most common—and expensive—mistakes people make during divorce: pretending to understand or agree with a legal strategy when they really don't.

Too many people stay quiet because they're embarrassed to ask questions, don't want to challenge their attorney, or need more time to process what they just heard. Unfortunately, that silence can lead to unnecessary legal fees, poor strategic decisions, and frustration for both you and your lawyer.

Andrea and Morgan explain why speaking up isn't being difficult—it's being a smart client.

In This Episode, We Discuss:

• Why so many people leave attorney meetings feeling confused
• The hidden cost of pretending you understand your legal strategy
• How to tell your attorney a proposed strategy doesn't feel right
• Why asking, "What do you think the other side will do next?" is one of the smartest questions you can ask
• When it's okay to ask for time before making a major legal decision
• Why changing your mind after your attorney has already started working can become expensive
• The importance of making sure your attorney's strategy aligns with your personal goals
• How to ask your lawyer for a recap email after a meeting
• Why a recurring weekly check-in can actually reduce stress and unnecessary communication

Memorable Quotes"You're the driver of the bus. Your lawyer is there to guide you—but the decisions are ultimately yours.""Don't nod your head just because you're afraid to look like you don't understand.""Silence can be one of the most expensive mistakes you make during divorce."Resources Mentioned

• Divorce Crash Course: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
• Join our private divorce community for support and resources.
• Subscribe to How Not to Suck at Divorce so you never miss an episode.

If You Enjoyed This Episode...

Please leave us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review and share this episode with someone navigating divorce. It helps more people find practical, trustworthy guidance during one of the hardest seasons of their lives.

www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

Connect With Us

🌐 Website: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

📱 Follow us on social media for daily divorce tips, legal education, and emotional support.

@hownottosuckatdivorce

@divorcepodcast

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🎧 Divorce Crash Course

Before you hire an attorney—or if you're already in the middle of your divorce—don't miss our Divorce Crash Course.

Learn how to avoid the costly mistakes that can impact your finances, custody, and future. Typically priced at $150, it's available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters: Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Episode Description

When people think about divorce, they often assume the shame comes after the marriage ends.

For Andrea, it began years earlier.

In this deeply personal solo episode, Andrea opens up about the emotional weight of pretending everything was okay while privately living in a lonely, disconnected marriage. She shares the shame of hiding a sexless marriage, constantly editing her reality to protect appearances, and questioning her own worth because of what was happening behind closed doors.

She also explores the quieter forms of emotional control that can slowly erode your confidence, why shame thrives in silence, and how years of living in survival mode affected both her mind and body.

If you've ever smiled through the pain, convinced everyone your marriage was fine, or wondered if something was wrong with you because your relationship felt so different from everyone else's, this episode is for you.

You are not alone.

In This Episode You'll Learn:

• Why shame often begins long before divorce
• The emotional toll of pretending your marriage is okay
• How loneliness can become internalized as self-worth
• The hidden impact of emotional control and chronic stress
• Why many people question their own reality in unhealthy relationships
• The connection between living in survival mode and your mental health
• How shame keeps us silent—and why speaking the truth is the first step toward healing
• Why your circumstances do not define your worth

Resources Mentioned

• Divorce Crash Course
• Our Family Wizard
• Soberlink
• How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

Connect With Us

🌐 Website: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

💬 Join our private community for support, resources, and conversations with people who truly understand what you're going through.

📧 Questions or episode ideas?

Email us at [email protected]

If This Episode Helped You...

Please take a moment to follow the show, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

You never know who is quietly pretending everything is okay.

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🎧 Before You Continue… Don't Navigate Divorce AloneThe Divorce Crash Course

If you're thinking about divorce, in the middle of one, or trying to rebuild your life afterward, our Divorce Crash Course can help you avoid the mistakes that cost people thousands of dollars—and months (or years) of unnecessary stress.

Typically priced at $150, it's available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Inside you'll learn:

• How to prepare before filing for divorce
• The biggest legal and financial mistakes to avoid
• How to save money on attorney's fees
• Parenting and custody considerations
• What to expect throughout the divorce process

👉 Get instant access today: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Episode Description

"I'm smart...so how did I end up in such a toxic marriage?"

If you've ever looked back on your relationship and asked yourself that question, this episode is for you.

One of the most painful parts of divorce isn't just grieving the relationship—it's trying to understand why you stayed.

Andrea explores why intelligent, educated, capable, and successful people often remain in unhealthy marriages far longer than they expected. This isn't about weakness or a lack of intelligence. It's about hope, psychology, love, and the very human tendency to believe that if we just try a little harder, things will eventually get better.

In this deeply personal mini episode, Andrea discusses:

• Why toxic relationships usually develop gradually
• The psychology of normalization and why unhealthy behavior becomes easier to accept over time
• Why successful people often stay because they're natural problem-solvers
• The role hope plays in keeping us stuck
• Why leaving a marriage is rarely "just one decision"
• How shame can become one of the biggest obstacles to healing
• Why replacing self-blame with understanding is one of the most important steps in recovery

If you've ever wondered, "What was I thinking?" this episode offers a different perspective—one rooted in compassion instead of shame.

Because healing doesn't begin with blaming yourself.

It begins with understanding yourself.

In This Episode

• Why smart people stay in toxic marriages
• The psychology behind unhealthy relationships
• How normalization changes what we accept
• Why hope can sometimes keep us stuck
• Why problem-solvers often struggle to leave
• The hidden cost of shame after divorce
• Replacing self-blame with self-understanding
• The first steps toward emotional healing

Resources MentionedDivorce Crash Course

Learn how to protect yourself legally, financially, and emotionally before, during, and after divorce.

👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Join Our Free Community

Connect with thousands of people navigating divorce who truly understand what you're going through.

👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Questions or Episode Ideas?

We'd love to hear from you.

📧 [email protected]

If This Episode Helped...

Please consider following How Not to Suck at Divorce on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

Your follows, ratings, and reviews help more people find support during one of the hardest seasons of their lives.

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• Shame after divorce
• Divorce emotional recovery
• Relationship psychology
• How to leave a toxic marriage
• Healing after divorce
• How Not to Suck at Divorce

Divorce Crash Course

Thinking about divorce or already in the middle of one? Don't make expensive mistakes before you understand your rights.

Our Divorce Crash Course gives you practical guidance on attorneys, finances, custody, parenting agreements, and the biggest mistakes people make during divorce.

Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50 thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

🎙️ Episode Description

What can Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, Kevin Costner, Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears, Jeff Bezos, and Alec Baldwin teach us about divorce?

A lot more than you might think.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and top family law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill break down some of Hollywood's most famous divorces—not for the celebrity gossip, but for the real-life legal and emotional lessons that apply to everyday people.

From prenups and child support to co-parenting, high-conflict custody battles, social media mistakes, and negotiating outside of court, these celebrity cases reveal common divorce pitfalls that can cost people time, money, and peace of mind.

Whether you're considering divorce, currently navigating one, or helping someone through the process, this episode is packed with practical advice you can actually use.

⭐ In This Episode

• Why Kevin Costner's divorce proves prenups aren't magic
• What Johnny Depp and Amber Heard teach about text messages and digital evidence
• The expensive lesson behind Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's years-long legal battle
• Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's co-parenting challenges
• Alec Baldwin's custody mistakes and what every parent should learn
• Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, and when child support can actually be modified
• Jeff Bezos' divorce strategy and why settling outside of court often saves everyone
• How to identify your true "must-haves" during divorce negotiations
• Why protecting your integrity is often your greatest victory

🔑 Key Takeaways

✔️ Not every battle is worth fighting.

✔️ Every text, email, voicemail, and social media post could become evidence.

✔️ Prenups reduce uncertainty—but they don't eliminate conflict.

✔️ Child support modifications require a significant change in circumstances.

✔️ The best divorce outcomes often happen through thoughtful negotiation—not courtroom battles.

✔️ Focus on your true priorities instead of trying to "win" every issue.

🎧 More Divorce Resources

🌐 Website:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

🎙️ Listen to more episodes:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast

Our Family Wizard: You guys, please check them out. They are the most court respected coparenting app. And we are the only podcast that can offer you 20% off your first year of the essential's package.

www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

About How Not to Suck at Divorce

Hosted by Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill, Head of the Family Law Group at Beermann LLP, How Not to Suck at Divorce provides practical legal, financial, and emotional guidance for people navigating divorce.

Our mission is simple: help you make smarter decisions, avoid costly mistakes, and build a better life on the other side of divorce.

Because divorce is a marathon—not a sprint.

You've got this.

And we've got you.

📚 Resources Mentioned

• Prenuptial Agreements
• Child Support Modifications
• Custody & Parenting Time
• Mediation vs. Litigation
• High-Net-Worth Divorce
• Digital Evidence in Divorce Cases

📱 Connect With Us

Instagram: @HowNotToSuckAtDivorce

Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1EQe3x7zCR/

Website: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Hashtags

#Divorce #CelebrityDivorce #FamilyLaw #Prenup #ChildCustody #ChildSupport #CoParenting #DivorceAdvice #DivorcePodcast #HowNotToSuckAtDivorce

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Mentioned in this episode:

Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry

After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost.

If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy.

Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value.

What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible.

It’s completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner.

Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500.

Divorce Isn't Fair: How to Stop the Negative Spiral and Move Forward🎧 Divorce Crash Course – Just $50 (Limited Time)

Before you spend thousands on avoidable divorce mistakes, invest in yourself.

Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest legal, financial, and emotional mistakes people make before, during, and after divorce. Typically priced at $150, it's available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and SoberLink.

Learn more here!Episode Summary

One of the hardest truths about divorce is also one of the most important:

It's not fair.

Whether it's a custody decision, financial settlement, or something you genuinely believed you deserved, getting stuck on what isn't fair can keep you emotionally trapped long after your divorce moves forward.

In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill explain why obsessing over fairness often leads to costly legal decisions, emotional exhaustion, and unnecessary conflict. They also share a practical mindset shift that can help you regain momentum and make smarter choices throughout your divorce.

If you're struggling to let go of something that feels unfair, this episode offers both legal perspective and emotional guidance to help you move forward.

In This Episode

• Why divorce often feels deeply unfair—and why that's normal
• How focusing on fairness can keep you emotionally stuck
• The hidden financial cost of fighting every issue
• Why friends and family can unintentionally make the situation worse
• How to know whether an issue is worth continuing to fight
• The powerful question every client should ask their divorce attorney
• How acceptance can help you heal without approving of what happened
• Why letting go isn't giving up—it's moving forward

Key Takeaway

You don't have to like what happened.

You don't even have to think it's fair.

But staying trapped in resentment won't change the outcome—it only keeps you from building what's next. Sometimes the healthiest decision is accepting what you cannot change so you can focus your energy on creating a better future.

Resources Mentioned

• Divorce Crash Course
• Our Family Wizard
• SoberLink
• Join our free private Facebook community
• Upcoming Divorce Meditation Series

Subscribe & Review

If How Not to Suck at Divorce has helped you navigate divorce with more confidence, we'd be incredibly grateful if you'd subscribe, leave a rating, and write a review. Your support helps more people find trustworthy divorce guidance when they need it most.

www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckConnect With Us

Website: www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1HNN44whZq/

Instagram

YouTube

Check out Our Family Wizard- the most court respected coparenting app. We are the only podcast that can offer you 20% of your first year!

www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20

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Divorce Cyberstalking: What to Do If You Think Your Ex Is Watching You Online

Divorce Crash Course:

Don’t make expensive divorce mistakes.

Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest legal, financial, emotional, and co-parenting mistakes people make during divorce — and how to avoid them.

Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Start the course here:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Cyberstalking during divorce can make you feel unsafe, paranoid, unsteady, and completely overwhelmed.

But here’s the thing: sometimes what feels “crazy” is actually a real digital safety issue.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill are joined by Steven Bradley, a former FBI task force leader, cybersecurity expert, domestic violence specialist, and cyberstalking educator, to talk about what to do if you think your ex is watching, tracking, monitoring, or digitally harassing you during divorce.

And yes — this episode is scary.

But more importantly, it is actionable.

Steven explains that cyberstalking is often easier than people realize because many exes already know your passwords, security question answers, shared devices, family routines, Wi-Fi setup, smart home devices, and personal information. Cyberstalking is not always some dramatic hacker-in-a-hoodie situation. Sometimes it is access to your Amazon Alexa, Ring doorbell, Nest thermostat, pet camera, cloud account, location sharing, shared passwords, or old devices.

In other words: your ex may not need to “hack” you if they already have access.

Terrifying? Yes.

Useful to know? Also yes.

In this episode, we cover:

• How cyberstalking can show up during divorce
• Why many people dismiss early warning signs as “coincidences”
• How smart home devices can be used to monitor or harass someone
• Why shared passwords and security questions are a major risk
• What to do if you think your ex has access to your phone, email, cloud, or devices
• Why you should not delete suspicious messages or evidence
• How to create a timeline of cyberstalking concerns
• When to tell your divorce attorney
• Why co-parenting apps can help protect communication
• How VPNs, multi-factor authentication, and anti-malware tools can help
• Why public Wi-Fi can be risky
• What parents should know about children’s apps, gaming, and Discord
• Why taking action can lower paranoia and help you feel safer

First signs of cyberstalking during divorce

Cyberstalking can start small.

You may notice:

• strange text messages
• anonymous calls or emails
• your ex showing up where you are
• smart home devices acting strangely
• lights, thermostats, or cameras changing unexpectedly
• unfamiliar apps on your phone
• login alerts
• odd account activity
• someone seeming to know things they should not know

Steven explains that many offenders start with small behaviors and escalate when they feel they can get away with it. That is why it is important not to dismiss everything as coincidence, especially during a high-conflict divorce or custody battle.

What to do if you think you are being cyberstalked

Steven’s first action step is simple:

Do not delete anything.

Preserve texts, emails, screenshots, suspicious messages, device alerts, app changes, login warnings, and anything that feels off. Create a timeline. Write down what happened, when it happened, where you were, and what evidence you have.

Digital evidence can be time-sensitive, and some data may disappear or overwrite itself. The sooner you document, the better.

Tell your divorce attorney early

If you believe you may be dealing with cyberstalking, do not wait until it becomes unbearable.

Tell your attorney.

Morgan explains that divorce lawyers may need outside experts to help connect the dots, preserve evidence, and explain what is happening in a way the court can understand. Cyberstalking can be technical, and many attorneys and judges are not cybersecurity experts.

This is not about panicking.

It is about protecting yourself, documenting what is happening, and getting the right people involved early.

Secure your digital life

Steven recommends assuming your passwords may be compromised and taking steps to secure your digital life.

That may include:

• changing passwords
• changing security questions
• turning on multi-factor authentication
• reviewing location sharing
• checking Life360, Find My, Snap Maps, and similar apps
• auditing old accounts
• closing accounts you no longer use
• using anti-malware tools on phones and computers
• avoiding public Wi-Fi when possible
• using a reputable VPN
• checking shared smart home devices
• reviewing cloud access
• removing your ex from shared accounts and devices

And yes, this includes the things people forget about: Alexa, pet cameras, thermostats, doorbells, old apps, children’s devices, shared family accounts, and even old platforms you forgot existed.

Friendster, we are looking at you.

Why co-parenting apps matter

If communication with your ex feels unsafe, chaotic, manipulative, or digitally risky, this may be a time to talk to your attorney about using a court-monitored co-parenting app.

In this episode, Steven and Morgan discuss how a co-parenting app like Our Family Wizard can help keep communication contained, documented, and harder to manipulate.

If you are concerned about cyberstalking or digital harassment, talk to your attorney about whether requesting a co-parenting app makes sense in your case.

Our Family Wizard:

www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20

How Not to Suck at Divorce listeners can save 20% off the Essentials package for the first year through our relationship with Our Family Wizard.

The biggest takeaway

Technology is not the problem.

Stalking, control, and harassment have existed forever. Technology just makes it easier.

The goal is not to become paranoid. The goal is to become aware, document what is happening, and take action early.

As Andrea says in this episode, doing nothing is often the part that makes you feel crazier. Taking action — documenting, telling your attorney, changing passwords, securing accounts, using a co-parenting app, and asking for help — can help you feel safer and more grounded.

If something feels off, do not ignore it.

Document it.

Tell your attorney.

Secure your devices.

Get help early.

You’ve got this.

And we’ve got you.

Connect with Steven Bradley

Steven Bradley is a former FBI task force leader, cybersecurity expert, domestic violence specialist, and cyberstalking educator.

[email protected]

Join The How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

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Join our free private Facebook community for real conversations, support, and guidance from people who understand what you are going through.

How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

Listen to How Not to Suck at Divorce

Website:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/

Podcast:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast

Divorce Crash Course:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

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Divorce: How to Stay Grounded When Everything Feels Unsteady

Divorce Crash Course:

Don’t make expensive divorce mistakes.

Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest legal, financial, emotional, and co-parenting mistakes people make during divorce — and how to avoid them.

Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

Start the course here:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Divorce can make everything feel unstable.

Your home, your routines, your finances, your parenting schedule, your future — all of it can feel like it’s shifting under your feet. So how do you stay grounded when the divorce process feels anything but steady?

In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares a simple but powerful grounding reminder from her own backyard: be like the tree.

Yes, really.

After staring up at the big, mature trees in her yard, Andrea reflects on how trees survive season after season. They lose leaves. They lose branches. They weather storms. But because their roots run deep, they remain standing.

And honestly? That is a pretty perfect divorce metaphor.

This episode is a calming reminder for anyone going through divorce, considering divorce, or recovering from divorce anxiety. You may feel overwhelmed, reactive, scared, or completely unsteady right now — but that does not mean you are going to be taken down by this process.

You may lose some leaves.

You may lose a branch.

You may look and feel different on the other side.

But you will still be here.

You will still be strong.

You will still be you.

Andrea also talks about how spending time outside, planting flowers, caring for something living, and reconnecting with nature can be a surprisingly grounding way to manage divorce stress and anxiety.

No, you do not need to become a full horticulture goddess. You do not even need to know if “horticultury” is a word.

But you may need a plant.

Or a pot.

Or a tree to stare at for a minute while you remind yourself that you are more rooted than this moment feels.

In this episode, Andrea talks about:

• How to stay grounded during divorce
• Why divorce can make you feel emotionally reactive
• How nature can help regulate stress and anxiety
• Why trees are the perfect metaphor for surviving divorce
• How to calm your nervous system when life feels unstable
• Why divorce is a marathon, not a sprint
• How small grounding practices can help you through hard days
• Why you will still be standing after this storm passes

This episode is for you if:

• You are feeling overwhelmed by divorce
• You are struggling with divorce anxiety
• You feel emotionally reactive or unsteady
• You need a quick grounding reminder
• You are trying to get through a hard divorce day
• You need reassurance that you will survive this process
• You want a calming mini episode that does not feel overly woo-woo

Divorce is unsettling. It is emotional. It can feel completely unhinged.

But you do not have to become unhinged with it.

When in doubt, be like the tree.

Stay rooted in who you are. Stay grounded in what you know. And remember: you are going to get through this.

You’ve got this.

And we’ve got you.

Listen to How Not to Suck at Divorce

Website:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/

Podcast:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast

Divorce Crash Course:

https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

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Divorce issue:When you don't agree with your attorney and Why Going Rogue Can Cost You Thousands

🎧 Before You Listen...

Don't make expensive divorce mistakes.

Our FREE guide, The 5 Divorce Mistakes That Cost People Thousands, will help you avoid some of the biggest legal, financial, and emotional mistakes people make before, during, and after divorce.

👉 Download it FREE here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

If you're ready for a deeper roadmap, our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the entire divorce process—from choosing the right attorney to protecting your finances and avoiding costly mistakes.

Typically priced at $150, available now for just $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.

👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Episode Description

Every person going through divorce eventually reaches the same breaking point.

You become convinced your attorney is wrong.

The judge doesn't get it.

The legal system is broken.

And your brain starts whispering...

"Forget it. I'll just handle this myself."

Unfortunately, that's often the exact moment people make the most expensive mistake of their entire divorce.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill are joined by Atlanta family law attorney Daniel Bloom to discuss why otherwise smart people make impulsive decisions during divorce, what "going rogue" really looks like, and how one emotional decision can cost you tens of thousands of dollars.

From firing off an angry email to texting your ex after one too many drinks, this episode explains why patience, strategy, and emotional regulation can ultimately save your case—and your wallet.

In This Episode You'll Learn:

✔ Why divorce makes even intelligent people act impulsively

✔ What "going rogue" actually means in a divorce case

✔ The hidden financial cost of ignoring your attorney's advice

✔ Why waiting during divorce feels unbearable—and what's really happening behind the scenes

✔ What your attorney is doing while you think "nothing is happening"

✔ When it makes sense to seek a second legal opinion

✔ Why therapy can be one of the smartest investments during divorce

✔ Three simple steps to stop yourself before making an emotional decision you'll regret

✔ Why divorce is a marathon—not a sprint

One Email Can Change Everything

Daniel shares real-life examples of clients who ignored legal advice, sent one emotional email, and watched their entire case unravel.

Sometimes the cost isn't just financial.

It's your credibility.

Your settlement.

Your co-parenting relationship.

Or even your relationship with your children.

Feeling Like Your Attorney Isn't Listening?

Many people mistake silence for inaction.

In reality, experienced divorce attorneys are often developing strategy, gathering information, and protecting your long-term interests—even when it feels like nothing is happening.

Learn why the waiting process is often one of the hardest—and most important—parts of divorce.

Thinking About Going Rogue?

Before you send the email...

Before you post on social media...

Before you text your ex...

Ask yourself one question:

"How will this affect my case six months from now?"

That one pause could save you thousands of dollars.

Resources Mentioned📘 FREE Divorce Guide

The 5 Divorce Mistakes That Cost People Thousands

👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

💛 Divorce Crash Course

Avoid expensive legal mistakes before they happen.

👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

👥 Join Our Free Private Community

Connect with thousands of people navigating divorce who truly understand what you're going through.

👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com

Reach out to Daniel Bloom (Atlanta Family Law Attorney and Guardian ad Lietum)

https://bloomlineslaw.com/our-team/daniel-bloom/

Subscribe & Connect

If this episode helped you:

⭐ Follow How Not to Suck at Divorce @hownottosuckatdivorce

⭐ Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuck

⭐ Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it

Every review helps us reach more people before they make expensive divorce mistakes.

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