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If you have ever pretzeled yourself to keep the peace, avoided a hard conversation, or woken up wondering how you got so far from yourself, this episode is for you. I sat down with human connection expert and author Mark Groves to talk about codependency, self abandonment, shame, and what it actually looks like to stop leaving yourself to belong to other people. We get into why telling the truth is the most radical act of self reclamation, how to know when you have outgrown an adaptive strategy, and why the boundary that feels like it will break everything is usually the thing that sets both people free.

 • Join me live for 8 days https://cathyheller.samcart.com/products/born-for-this

 • Follow Mark Groves on Instagram @createthelove

 • Visit Mark at https://www.createthelove.com/

 • Get your ticket to Cathy Heller Live: Divine Download in LA, August 2-3 https://cathyheller.com/summit/

 • Join Cathy's Circle https://www.cathyheller.com/cathys-circle/

 • Follow Cathy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/cathy.heller/

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Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

1:38 - How Mark Groves Became a Human Connection Expert

3:44 - The Hardest Conversation He Ever Had (And Why It Led Him Back to Himself)

5:16 - Cathy's Codependency Wake-Up Call: "I Need to Be in All Seven Places"

7:03 - Why Belonging Wins Over Authenticity Every Time (And What to Do About It)

11:43 - Why Women Especially Struggle to Ask for What They Need

13:10 - "I Leave Me to Be With People Because I'm Afraid They'll Leave Me"

17:52 - The Dinner Party Where Two Strangers Admitted They Were Addicts — And It Was the Best Night Ever

21:21 - How to Get Into Your Shame Instead of Running From It

23:50 - The Meditation That Changed Everything: Welcoming Home Your Younger Self

27:09 - Going Back to Meet Your Seven-Year-Old Self

35:44 - The Biggest Way We Self-Sabotage (It's Not What You Think)

37:29 - Why Receiving Love Can Feel More Terrifying Than Losing It

40:11 - What to Do When You Ask Yourself What You Want and the Answer Is "I Don't Know"

45:39 - Stop Trying to Heal Other People — Inspiration Is Born From Self-Transformation

53:17 - Six Takeaways to Carry With You