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In today's episode, I am exploring a quote that resonated deeply with me: "heal so you can hear what's being said without the filter of your wound."

This quote begs the question,  how are our unresolved emotional wounds  influencing our interactions and perceptions?

Whether you are experiencing mother wounds, father wounds, psychological wounding, or even wounds around your tendency to people please, these experiences can have a significant impact on our interactions with others.

Take some time to reflect on what might be getting in the way of your truly connecting with others, and if needed, seek the help of a trusted coach or therapist.

If you feel drawn to coaching with me, click here to apply now!  I have a few spots opening up for the month of May and would love to work with you.

https://maryannwalker.life/contact-me

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Today we are talking about the importance of embracing discomfort and experiencing rejection as a way to grow and overcome fears. We emphasizes the idea of celebrating failures, being willing to put oneself out there, and accepting rejection as a natural part of life in order to achieve personal development and success.

Stress can't be eliminated. But we can learn to navigate through it more easily.

Reference TikTok for "rejection therapy."

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Welcome to my 100th episode!  This week I have two of my three daughters on the show and we are talking all about how to raise kids that are NOT people pleasers. 

These two have been along for the ride as I've worked to recover from my own people pleasing tendencies and they have some great ideas!  Come and join us!

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"Fawning" is the most common stress response among highly sensitive people and people pleasers. In this episode we explore the four F's in the human stress response—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—and discuss how fawning manifests in behaviors aimed at pleasing others, often at the expense of one's own needs and boundaries.

What You'll Learn:

-The four F's of the human stress response: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn
-How fawning can be identified through behaviors like extreme people-pleasing and conflict avoidance
-The impact of seeking approval and over-apologizing on personal well-being
-The dangers of ignoring personal boundaries and difficulty in saying no
-Strategies to recognize and navigate fawning tendencies

Recognizing the signs of fawning is crucial for breaking the cycle of people-pleasing and developing healthier boundaries. Understanding these patterns can help you reclaim your self-identity and build more authentic relationships.

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What if navigating the others discomfort isn't the problem? What if instead  it's learning to manage our own discomfort?

So often we believe that the other person is uncomfortable with our boundary because we said it wrong or because it isn't a "good" boundary, or maybe we even tell ourselves their disappointment over our boundary is a sign that they are an unempathic jerk!

But disappointment and discouragement happens. Disappointment isn't the problem. Learning to navigate it is.

In this episode we talk about the value of acknowledging disappointed and how to navigate it in relationship

Wanting to learn more? Come and register for my FREE How to Stop People Pleasing Webinar! Register before April 19th to join and YES!  a replay will be sent out after the event. See you there! https://maryannwalker-life.ck.page/0d3d222d7a

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Main Ideas: People Pleasing

• People pleasers often focus more on how others perceive them rather than their own feelings towards others.
• Insecurity is one reason people try to win over others, even at the risk of inauthentic living.
• Constant pressure to meet others' expectations can create anxiety and stress.
• Unfulfilling relationships result from trying to win approval at the sacrifice of true compatibility.
• A lack of boundaries and loss of self-esteem are two potential outcomes of seeking external validation.

Four Steps to Shift Mindset

1. Noticing Opportunities: Being aware of people with similar interests that are  open to conversation.
2. Approaching with Authenticity: Engaging in genuine interactions based on shared interests.
3. Embracing Uniqueness: Recognizing it's okay to be different and connecting with those who appreciate individuality.
4. Seeking Meaningful Connections: Prioritizing quality over quantity, aiming for deeper, one-on-one interactions.

Reflection and Call to Action

• Reflect on current relationships: Can you be authentic or do you feel the need to compromise to please others?
• Embrace your uniqueness and seek connections with those who resonate with you.
• Shift from seeking approval to building self-confidence and enjoying meaningful connections.
• Announcement: Free "Stop People Pleasing" webinar on April 19th. Click here to register! https://maryannwalker-life.ck.page/0d3d222d7a

Conclusion

• Encouragement to prioritize authenticity and meaningful connections, letting go of the pressure to win everyone's approval.
• The goal isn't to please everyone, but to find those who genuinely resonate with you.

References

• Episode 2: You Are Not For Everyone, And That's OK.
• Episode 42: Part 3: When The Relationship is Complete/Relationship Circles  

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When you're in overwhelm it's easy for the brain to go into overwhelm.
This week as I was experiencing my own overwhelm my mind wanted to say, "This bad day is going to last forever." It also wants to ask, "WHY is this happening TO me?!"

Once you know and understand how your brain is going to react to overwhelm, you can course correct it.  Here are some tips & affirmations to help:

Today is Not Forever: It's easy to feel stuck in a bad day, but reminding myself that it's temporary helps.
Negativity Bias: Our brains love the "why me?" narrative, focusing on the negative. Shifting to "how is this happening for me?" can help.
Remain Solutions Focused: It's tempting to believe nothing good will come, but focusing on solutions helps us move forward.
Allow Space for Emotions: Feeling emotions without letting them halt action is crucial. We can acknowledge the difficulty while still progressing.

Here are some affirmations to practice during tough times:

Today is not forever.
I don't know how I will get through this, but I know I will get through this.
This sucks, but I'm moving forward.
I'm focusing on solutions.
I am resilient and will bounce back stronger than before.
Even in chaos, I can find peace.
Hard times come, but good things come, too.


Announcement: Free Workshop!
'm thrilled to announce a free online workshop on "How to Stop People Pleasing." Join me on April 19th on Zoom for a chance to interact, ask questions, and learn together. Click here to register now! https://maryannwalker-life.ck.page/0d3d222d7a

Conclusion:
Life's twists and turns can feel overwhelming, but remember, you're not alone in this rollercoaster. Keep practicing these affirmations and know that brighter days are ahead. 

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Welcome back to Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker! We're celebrating Episode 95 today, and I've got some exciting updates and a special announcement.

1. Celebrating Growth: Thank you to all our listeners! We've grown so much, reaching listeners in the US, UK, Canada, Belgium, Taiwan, Ireland, Australia, India, Peru, and beyond! Your support means everything. THANK YOU for being here and for sharing with your friends and family! 
2. What's Coming: Expect more engaging guests and deep conversations on future episodes. Get ready for a special 100th episode where I'll interview my daughters on raising children to be free from people-pleasing. Learn from my successes and failures as a people pleasing parent.
3. Reintroducing Myself: I serve the helpers, healers, and people pleasers. I've been through it all - from childcare to energy work - and I'm here to help you find balance and joy.
4. The Big Announcement: Join me for a live virtual workshop on "How to Stop People Pleasing" on April 19th, 2024! It's free, but you do need to register to save your seat. I'll be sharing  insights into why people pleasing isn't just about setting boundaries but also about managing emotions.

Register for my FREE online Stop People Pleasing workshop here: https://maryannwalker-life.ck.page/0d3d222d7a

Tell me about you and leave me a review here: https://forms.gle/8AyatTjeG3L6K9XW9

Listen to Episode 67: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/13868399

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As people pleasers, we are very good at showing up consistently for others. But we are less skilled when it comes to showing up consistently for ourselves. 

Take some time today to identify one way you want to consistently show up for yourself and find a fun way to track it!  

As we practice showing up consistently for ourselves, it benefits everyone because we aren't as depleted. 

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In this episode  we discuss the differences between communicating from a place of emotional calm versus approaching conversations with heightened emotional charge.

Examples of Emotionally Charged vs. Emotionally Calm Responses:

• Emotionally charged: "You're avoiding me to punish me."
• Emotional calm: "Hey, I'd love to get together, I miss you."
• Emotionally charged: "You must not like me very much."
• Emotional calm: "Hey, I haven't heard from you as much lately, what's been going on?"
• Emotionally charged: "Our friendship doesn't matter anymore."
• Emotional calm: "I noticed we haven't been spending much time together, is everything okay?"
• Emotionally charged: "I guess I can't count on you."
• Emotional calm: "I'm feeling overwhelmed with work, could use some support, are you available?"

Reasons for Emotionally Charged Responses:

1. Past Experiences: Previous negative experiences or traumas shaping interpretations.
2. Insecurity: Low self-esteem leading to negative interpretations.
3. Lack of Communication Skills: Not having the skills to communicate effectively.
4. Projection: Projecting fears or insecurities onto others.
5. Defense Mechanisms: Becoming defensive to protect ego.
6. Emotional Triggers: Strong reactions based on past experiences.
7. Cognitive Bias: Seeking and interpreting information to confirm existing beliefs.

The episode emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation, pointing out that it ultimately boils down to our ability to manage our emotions in order to communicate effectively. Consider instances in your life where emotional regulation might be a challenge, particularly in relationships. By recognizing these patterns, individuals can strive to approach conversations from a place of emotional calm, leading to more constructive dialogue and healthier relationships.

Looking for more support?  Come and work with me! Click here to apply now