Trauma is ANY experience that leaves a physical or emotional wound. Which means, we ALL have trauma.

Trauma is a learning process in the brain…it changes how we interact with the world. Painful events cause us to conclude that we are unlovable, worthless or insignificant. And so we feel rejected, unworthy, stupid and wrong. We internalize the idea that something is wrong with us. 

Trauma changes who we think we are—erasing joy and causing us to forget what it means to be fully alive. Our dreams, talents, hopes and self-worth are replaced by fear, anxiety, guilt and despair.

You can distinguish between trauma and truth by learning to identify the fingerprints of shame…when it’s active and how it’s affecting you. So you can stop reacting to the pain of the past and reclaim your power, which is your birthright.

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Do you pride yourself on your ability to “tuck your crazy?” Would you rather boil in rage or drown in overwhelm than be exposed as a Drama Queen?

We’re conditioned from an early age to suppress inconvenient feelings. Whoever can put up with the most sh!t and still smile wins.

My guest today is Michelle Grosser–a recovering perfectionist and nervous system regulation coach. She shares how her fear of being seen as “emotional”  crippled her ability to function as a full time litigator, part time law professor, wife and mother of two babies.

She discovered that “doing too much” wasn’t the problem. It was feeling too little. Prioritizing the care of her nervous system didn’t require her to let go of her dreams. It enhanced her ability to achieve them. 

In this episode, Michelle shares:

• How to pinpoint the REAL source of your stress

• It’s not emotions that are so scary. It’s your fear of losing control.

• How to soothe your nervous system with 10-minute /day habits.

• The difference between mindset and somatic tools and which work best.

Find Michelle Grosser at The Calm Mom podcast, Instagram: @MichelleGrosser.coach

REGISTER FOR FREE MASTERCLASS ON EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.

Can't figure out how to leave a review? Email me at [email protected]  to participate in my 50th birthday challenge to raise money for SheRecovers.org

Looking for friends, support and guidance? Join our tribe in the Bitch Free Recovery Zone on Circle. 

Follow me on Instagram Recover with Colleen

Subscribe to my email list...I send one email every Monday related to the podcast and a monthly invite to my workshops (like how to improve your sleep, how to fix your dopamine deficit, how to reintroduce alcohol after a. period of sobriety and more!) Click here. 

The sober community promotes the idea that alcohol reduces your ability to control yourself. And that alcoholism is an incurable disease that can only be managed with complete abstinence.

The "alcoholic" identity is a lifetime commitment to a DISABILITY.

Which is why quitting feels so complicated. You're caught between two extremes, both of which rob you of autonomy and self-determination.

But research shows that the BELIEF in this disease-model of addiction is far more dangerous than alcohol itself. People formally exposed in treatment to the notion that they are powerless addicts are 9 times more likely to binge and relapse.

In fact, brain scans of people in recovery from addiction show cognitive processing returns to normal within 6-12 months. Furthermore, their capacity for self-regulation EXCEEDS that of people who've never overcome an addiction. 

It’s uncomfortable to talk about drinking in recovery. Because we’re taught that addiction is caused by alcohol. It's far more accurate to say that addiction is caused by the BELIEF that you can't control yourself. 

You don't have to live by other people's rules. 

Looking for friends, support and guidance? Join our tribe in the Bitch Free Recovery Zone on Circle. 

REGISTER for my FREE MASTERCLASS on EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.

Want more information on The Next Chapter? Click here.

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Follow me on Instagram Recover with Colleen

If you need to stop drinking and want support, check out these two programs that will shift your mindset from "drinker" to "non-drinker" so you can declare your independence from alcohol. 

5-Hour Change Your Mind Masterclass--self-study

10 Days to Spontaneous Sobriety --includes group and 1:1 coaching

Our sense of safety as children was dependent on our caregivers. We needed to make the adults around us happy. We let our parents tell us what to think and how to feel. Because that kept us safe.

And so, we learned how to regulate their nervous system instead of our own.

For many of us, childhood traumas manifest as perfectionism and cycles of self-sabotage. Because we’re managing our stress the same way we did as children. By avoiding emotional discomfort.

But (if you’re lucky) there comes a day when you just can’t pretend to be fine anymore. So you quietly tap out…decide to grab the low-hanging fruit and give sobriety the old college try.

Only to realize this isn’t about alcohol…

Looking for friends, support and guidance? Join our tribe in the Bitch Free Recovery Zone on Circle. 

REGISTER FOR FREE MASTERCLASS ON EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.

Want more information on The Next Chapter? Click here.

Like this episode? Get new episodes and related content delivered to your inbox every Monday. Click here. 

Follow me on Instagram Recover with Colleen

If you need to stop drinking and want support, check out these two programs that will shift your mindset from "drinker" to "non-drinker" so you can declare your independence from alcohol. 

5-Hour Change Your Mind Masterclass--self-study

10 Days to Spontaneous Sobriety --includes group and 1:1 coaching

If you struggle with anxiety and depression, or are trying to escape the alcohol trap, you are well aware that life would be better if you were nicer to yourself. 

But what does that really mean? And HOW do you like yourself if you don’t actually like yourself?

In this episode, I’ll start with the big picture. What are the “symptoms” of self-love? What does that look like from the outside? How does that feel on the inside? 

Then I’ll walk you through specific actions that will help you feel like a person worthy of her own attention. Spoiler alert–they are the same actions a counselor would suggest to improve your marriage. Spend time together. Talk to each other. Offer compliments. Do random acts of kindness. 

I’ll also dive into the “shadow”--what it is, what it isn’t and why you need to make friends with it. Because keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Setting an emotional goal can feel like trying to nail jello to a tree. Until. You have a vision for what you want and a road map for how to get there. 

Looking for friends, support and guidance? Join our tribe in the Bitch Free Recovery Zone on Circle. 

REGISTER FOR FREE MASTERCLASS ON EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.

Want more information on The Next Chapter? Click here.

Like this episode? Get new episodes and related content delivered to your inbox every Monday. Click here. 

Follow me on Instagram Recover with Colleen

If you need to stop drinking and want support, check out these two programs that will shift your mindset from "drinker" to "non-drinker" so you can declare your independence from alcohol. 

5-Hour Change Your Mind Masterclass--self-study

10 Days to Spontaneous Sobriety --includes group and 1:1 coaching

After years of living in denial, it’s normal to have a regret hangover in early sobriety. 

Just saying “I’m sober” can feel shameful. Because you’re admitting that drinking was a problem. And while it’s important to move forward, you still have to make peace with the past.

Unprocessed regret keeps you stuck in a cycle of stress. Avoiding your emotions leads to self-sabotage — overcompensating, enabling, not setting healthy boundaries and neglecting your own self-care. 

Dealing with regret begins with “dissecting” your overwhelming emotions into distinct thoughts. So you can separate fact from fiction. Then you must change the way you respond to “episodes” of grief. Resist the urge to self-abandon. Remember this pain is temporary. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

Putting mistakes into perspective is how you learn. How has this experience made you a stronger person? How will this hard-earned wisdom serve you or someone else in the future?

Looking for friends, support and guidance? Join our tribe in the Bitch Free Recovery Zone on Circle. 

REGISTER FOR FREE MASTERCLASS ON EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.

Want more information on The Next Chapter? Click here.

Like this episode? Get new episodes and related content delivered to your inbox every Monday. Click here. 

Follow me on Instagram Recover with Colleen

If you need to stop drinking and want support, check out these two programs that will shift your mindset from "drinker" to "non-drinker" so you can declare your independence from alcohol. 

5-Hour Change Your Mind Masterclass--self-study

10 Days to Spontaneous Sobriety --includes group and 1:1 coaching

Personal power is when you stop placing conditions on when you will and won’t be okay. 

Okayness is a feeling, not a fact. It’s a story you’re telling yourself. 

Your brain has created a set of conditions and is holding your nervous system hostage. If life fails to meet your expectations, your body is thrown into a stress response. 

You’re trying to regulate your emotions by controlling the outside world. But the problem is not what is or isn’t happening. It’s how you FEEL about what is or isn’t happening.

The facts themselves aren’t threatening. Just your feelings about them.

Personal power is an awareness that your mind is the source of your emotional discomfort. 

You can give yourself permission to be okay…and practice being okay…even when life doesn't go as planned. You can learn how to skip the part where you’re stuck in emotional angst.

Looking for friends, support and guidance? Join our tribe in the Bitch Free Recovery Zone on Circle. 

REGISTER FOR FREE MASTERCLASS ON EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.

Want more information on The Next Chapter? Click here.

Like this episode? Get new episodes and related content delivered to your inbox every Monday. Click here. 

Follow me on Instagram Recover with Colleen

If you need to stop drinking and want support, check out these two programs that will shift your mindset from "drinker" to "non-drinker" so you can declare your independence from alcohol. 

5-Hour Change Your Mind Masterclass--self-study

10 Days to Spontaneous Sobriety --includes group and 1:1 coaching

Emotional sobriety requires prioritizing self care. You don’t need permission or approval to set boundaries with your body. 

But that feels complicated when applied to sex. Women have been conditioned to “service” our partners on a regular basis, whether we feel like it or not. If you don’t keep your man happy, someone else might. 

Contrary to patriarchal standards perpetuated by BOTH men and women, your sexual desires are just as valid as your partner’s. Even when your only desire is to be left alone.  

It’s normal for libido to flatline in early sobriety. You’re in a legit dopamine deficit. Your nervous system is dysregulated and you’re emotionally exhausted. It’s called recovery for a reason.

But having obligatory sex – “getting it over with” so you can “check the box”-- further disconnects you from your body. And infuses your relationship with resentment and contempt. 

You know what’s sexy? A woman who isn’t ashamed of herself or her body. A woman who can tolerate the messiness of being human–in herself and her partner.

It’s okay. You’re okay. This isn’t permanent. Committing to radical honesty and taking care of your physical needs is HOW you awaken the Goddess within.

REGISTER FOR FREE MASTERCLASS ON EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.

Want more information on The Next Chapter? Click here.

Like this episode? Get new episodes and related content delivered to your inbox every Monday. Click here. 

Join my private Facebook group for free coaching with me and a tribe of people in recovery working on emotional sobriety. Recover with Colleen

Follow me on Instagram Recover with Colleen

If you need to stop drinking and want support, check out these two programs that will shift your mindset from "drinker" to "non-drinker" so you can declare your independence from alcohol. 

5-Hour Change Your Mind Masterclass--self-study

10 Days to Spontaneous Sobriety --includes group and 1:1 coaching

When we think about whether or not alcoholism can be cured, realize we're only asking people who identify as alcoholics.

There are many people who experience the negative side effects of drinking and decide to quit or cut back. In fact, seventy-five percent of drinkers self-correct on their own.

Alcohol use disorder is a spectrum. There is no line between episodic, problematic drinking and disease. Addiction IS progressive when left unchecked. But it’s also reversible with abstinence, education, community and mental health support. The will to live is powerful; feeling good is its own reward.

The AA culture says there is no cure for alcoholism. Once an addict, always an addict. But that’s not true. The brain does heal. People can and do recover. 

The more dangerous addiction is to the idea that you’ll always be an alcoholic, even when you’re sober.

REGISTER FOR FREE MASTERCLASS ON EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY.

Want more information on The Next Chapter? Click here.

Like this episode? Get new episodes and related content delivered to your inbox every Monday. Click here. 

Join my private Facebook group for free coaching with me and a tribe of people in recovery working on emotional sobriety. Recover with Colleen

Follow me on Instagram Recover with Colleen

If you need to stop drinking and want support, check out these two programs that will shift your mindset from "drinker" to "non-drinker" so you can declare your independence from alcohol. 

5-Hour Change Your Mind Masterclass--self-study

10 Days to Spontaneous Sobriety --includes group and 1:1 coaching

As a yogi, I thought I knew what breathwork was (calming but not exactly “powerful”). And then I did a breathwork session with Victoria Lee Starr. The experience blew my mind and forever changed my approach to mental health and recovery.  

Doing the “work” of recovery–unpacking emotional issues and learning new mental processes–is exhausting. Why? Because trauma and unprocessed emotions get stuck in the body. Blocked energy weighs you down and makes it difficult to move forward.  

Would you like to give yourself a break? Get out of your head and into your breath. Doing breathwork can bypass the cognitive loop-de-loops and reset your nervous system. So that you feel lighter, freer and more relaxed. 

BONUS: If you’re a member of ANY of my programs, you’re invited to join our private group session with Victoria once a month at no extra cost. Check your course dashboard for details.

Want to try breathwork? Click here to register for a single group session with Victoria Lee Starr this Wednesday, June 21st @ 7pm EST/4 pm PST. If you’re listening in the future, click here to go to her website to catch her next available. 

Interested in working with me? Click here for information on my immersive, all-inclusive 12-week coaching program The Next Chapter. Or see below for my lower priced self-study options. 

Like this episode? Get new episodes and related content delivered to your inbox every Monday. Click here. 

Join my private Facebook group for free coaching with me and a tribe of people in recovery working on emotional sobriety. Recover with Colleen

Follow me on Instagram Recover with Colleen

If you need to stop drinking and want support, check out these two programs that will shift your mindset from "drinker" to "non-drinker" so you can declare your independence from alcohol. 

5-Hour Change Your Mind Masterclass--self-study

10 Days to Spontaneous Sobriety --includes group and 1:1 coaching