On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is home from her Tour-de-America. Her feet may be swollen, but she's got a real pep in her step after being dressed down by a large woman selling Wiener's in Chicago. She hits the hotline to answer questions like "what to do if you find out your mother-in-law has an alter ego in the bedroom?" and how to fall out of love with your Catholic priest.

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