In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle switch it up and answer your questions! We are so grateful to everyone who sent in questions, and we loved answering them! The most hot topic questions are on dealing with narcissists, more on our personal story, and more of our thoughts on managing grief!

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.  

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Barb’s favorite books

• Man ‘s Search For Meaning by Vicktor Frankl
• When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön

Michelle’s favorite book

• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life Bookshelf

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about their favorite self-care practice, setting boundaries. In this conversation, they break down what a boundary is, why it’s so helpful for us to set them, and why this practice is truly the ultimate form of self-care.  Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Boundaries allow us to have more compassion. 

Boundaries are not about the other person. They are about self-care and empowering yourself.

How do we set boundaries for ourselves?

• Notice within your life the trigger points that brings complaining. 
• Remove yourself from situations that don’t align with your beliefs. 
• Don’t share private information with people who haven’t earned your trust. 
• Choose to mute or unfollow people that don’t make you feel good about yourself. 

When communicating your boundaries:

• State your needs. Use “I” statements, such as “I need”. Avoid “you” statements and words like never, always, all the time. 
• Be open to listening and engaging with the person you are communicating with. 

Top four tips for setting healthy boundaries:

1. Be clear about what the boundary is. 
2. Keep it simple enough for someone to remember it. 
3. Do not apologize when setting the boundary. It sends mixed messages. 
4. Be consistent when reinforcing your boundaries. 

 

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown
• Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab 

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about the #1 habit they are trying to break in their relationships…and it might surprise you!  Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

 Episode Notes:

• The desire we have to change other human beings is natural.
• A person isn’t going to change unless they truly want to. You can’t love someone out of their mindset or beliefs.
• People will always do what they want to do, what they feel driven to do and what matters to them.       
• Make a realistic decision on where this person or people fit into your life based on who they are and not on who you wish they could be.               
• Have a connection with yourself to know who you are, what you want, and what you value.
• Be able to communicate these values with your loved ones.
• Ask yourself are you okay with this? Are you okay with how a person may feel or think differently than you do about a situation?
• Focus on the things you can control.
• Give people a chance to transform themselves by themselves.
• Use your energy and time and your precious resources to speak up and speak out and do what matters most to you.

 

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In this week’s episode of the pod, Barb and Michelle discuss the old adage “you are the company that you keep”. Learn how Barb and Michelle think is the best way to cultivate meaningful, aligned relationships as well as being the example for the people in your life. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Emotional contagion refers to a phenomenon of an automatic adoption of an emotional state of another person. We, as humans, have a natural tendency to mimic the people around us.    

• Spend time with people that align with you are. Carefully choose the company you keep as they can influence how you think about yourself and how show up in the world.

• Be mindful of the places you hang out in, in the digital sphere, as it can influence you as much as those around you.

• You have choice. You can determine how you process and interpret the situation.

• Choose people that inspire you. Embrace the habits that you see in other people that will help you be the best version of yourself.

• Instead of modeling perfection, model authenticity. Be exactly who you are and just show up.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Emotional Contagion (Studies in Emotion and Social Interaction) by Elaine Hatfield, John T. Cacioppo, Richard L. Rapson
• Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about this sneaky habit that drains our energy: writing stories. Our minds are extremely powerful and creative, if unchecked, our minds can go into overdrive writing stories and contemplating possibilities that we simply don't know to be true. We can never know what it’s fully like to walk in someone else’s shoes, so we might as well stop trying to fill in the gaps with our own creative ideas. 

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Writing stories is the #1 habit that drains our energy.
• Deepen your awareness of what your mind is feeling and where it is going so that you can redirect the mind from going down a negative path.
• Name it to tame it. 
• Noticing and naming our emotions helps create some distance between the emotion and the intense feelings that accompany it.
• Ask yourself, is this true? Is the story you are writing true?
•  Find a neutral statement to replace the negative.
• Ask yourself, is the story that I’m writing right now empowering me and inspiring me?
• The stories we tell about ourselves matter most.    

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
• Myleik
• Rainer Maria Rilke
• Cheryl Strayed

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In a follow up from last week’s episode about being present, Barb and Michelle dive into the habits that tend to take us out of the present moment, and what we can start to do today, to bring us where our feet are. Remembering that the present moment is where you have all your power.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Studies show 85% of the things we worry about do not happen, and the 15% of the things that do happen, we handle better than we thought we would. 

Common life instances that keep us from being mindful and in the present:

• Worry and anxiety
• Boredom and restlessness
• Impatience

If you are feeling these feelings, take a moment to pause and see where your feet are.

Remember the good that comes from tapping into the new patterns of being more focused and mindful. 

Some of the benefits that come from being present and focused are:

• Having more productive action.
• Being able to recognize the tiny joys.
• More confidence. 
• More energy. 

 Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

A Wandering Mind Not a Happy Mind

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We live in a world that pushes us towards doing many tasks at once, for the sake of productivity and efficiency. In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about why multitasking might not be as beneficial to us as we are made to believe, and challenges us all to start being singularly focused on tasks in our lives.

Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Being mindful and present is a training of the mind. 
• Find one place in your life where you can be focused.
• The Barb Knows Best Challenge, tell us that one thing you are going to try and be singularly focused on and drop us a note.

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

• Essays and Poems by Ralph Waldo Emerson 
•  Being Conscientiously Still or Stagnant – Michelle’s Blog

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In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about overwhelm, managing the feelings that come with being too booked and busy, and how we can start to remove things from our very full plates. Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

• Overwhelm means an extreme level of stress and emotional and or cognitive intensity to the point of feeling unable to function. The big difference is we can function and stress. We really can't function in overwhelm. And the research shows the nothingness is the only way to really reset after overwhelm.
• Give yourself the grace to rest, recharge, regroup and start again.

Ways to manage the overwhelm:

1.   Remember to carve out some time for silence and stillness. 
2.   Remember to cultivate positive self-talk.
3.   Remember that you don't have to be perfect and have it all together all the time.
4.   Make your tasks manageable.
5.   Set the boundaries that you need to set, and learn to say no when you need to say no.

            

Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

Atlas of the Heart by Brene’ Brown

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In this week’s episode, for the first time, Michelle shares her journey to sobriety and recognizing the toxic patterns and habits in her life that stemmed from drinking. Barb and Michelle share their personal stories and histories of addiction, dysfunction, and making the choice to make a change. 

 Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

Notice where your “line” is. Know what it means to cross the line.

• Toxic patterns stem from crossing the line, addictive habits stem lines being crossed
•  Notice when your choices are no longer in your control
• Ask yourself, do I have a choice? Am I in control?
• Am I hiding my habits?
• Do I feel shame?

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Sometimes the most difficult thing we can do is say no. Many of us avoid saying no for fear of disappointing, hurting, or pushing away others, but how often does this lead us to say yes to others and no to ourselves? In this week’s episode, Barb and Michelle talk about how to say no with confidence, as a highest form of self-care. 

 Follow us @MichelleMaros and @Peaceful_Barb and share your experiences with us @BarbKnowsBestPod or at www.michellemaros.com/podcast.

Episode Notes:

•   Self-love is an ability that we can cultivate.
•   Identify what's the one thing in the day that you need to do for yourself that will help bring you to that place of being 100%, or feeling close to 100% your best.
•   The loving kindness and care that you share, that you have for yourself, is your highest priority.
•   Self-compassion is one of the secrets to self-care, to being able to say “No” with confidence.

 Resources Mentioned in Today’s Podcast:

•    Brene’ Brown
•    A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Ekart Tolle

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