Live IFS

🔸 0-1000: The Avalanche. And a house without secrets.

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Too many suggestions. And I've gone out of order, reaping the consequences.
And yes, I don't know the magic phrase that makes the 1000 stop. That's why I turned full attention back to manager. A good and humbling reminder.

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube


How to leave a review - iPhone

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Sitting quietly. "Not facts or stories, but feelings."

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

When Im this quiet it’s not because I'm thinking “I should be quiet”, it’s not a “technique” I'm employing… usually I just have nothing to add.

Of course there’s a part desperately searching: "Say something clever! What dots can I connect?" And of course “someone better at this would have something to say here..."

Mio is right, she has come so far. As have I, in cocreating this space. And I may not know how to improve on that, but I know how to spoil it!

Are we still paying for not being more direct with the story teller? It’s tough. This is a conversation, after all. But as long as we can stop it when it really counts, at least we're not going backwards.

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube


How to leave a review - iPhone

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Live Live IFS! Out of control: A tsunami, prairie fire, & baby. “I just don’t see how that could possibly work”. 

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

We were both a little more nervous when starting, but the non-alcoholic beer was an effective (placebo) anxiolytic. We sat across from each other but I was turned to the side with eyes closed maybe 75% of the time. Harder to say goodbye in person. Overall I'm pleased to confirm: I can IFS (and sober intimacy) in person!

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube


How to leave a review - iPhone

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Puzzle pieces: Sex, "Hurry", Dad

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Ah, that's why the pros use intake forms!

Picked the wrong day to skip call-prep, I was scattered from the start. Sometimes I forget how much this all means to me, you, everyone. I'm sorry Bee, and sorry listeners. And bravo to Bee for keeping me from getting in the way of such incredible work.

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube


How to leave a review - iPhone

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Stay in the lines, you two

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

I was more distracted by bad audio than I first realized. It’s always tough deciding if/when to say “stop, fix it”, but I definitely missed a handful of words, and it's not fair of me to withhold that from caller. Other bad-audio calls have ended up in the trash because I didn’t speak up sooner.

When teacher got her first interview question, I butted in with even more. Should have let her speak first.

I’d like to revise my statement made at the end re “it’s a mistake to not be intentional”:

Pick a part, put it on your calendar, be persistent = great!

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 The peacemaker(s) and the frustrated part(s).

📌New milestone: On our last call, my 363rd recording, I forgot to hit record. 363 in a row! See recap below "Do Differently"

📌 Scott followed up: Back on solo work today. Had a rough Sunday, triggering experience. Finally able to get some space because there was just so much noise in my system. But so interesting that I was able to put a critical part that was raging into a room, and the noise was instantly turned down. I listened but was still afraid so I closed drapes over the windows and barred the door. Then I send these light waves into the room. I was enjoying it too much and thought whoa this must be a part too. I unblended again (It was happy to step back). I went back to the window and it was dark in the room but with purple lights. The part was in a meditation posture and handed me a lotus leaf with a single bead of water that rolled off. I suspect that he is glad to be dealing with Self and needs the attention.

Bad job? My helping him target, turning curiousity to one is poor. Sounds like I'm being impatient. My own curiousity isn't great. If I'm being generous, I'll say I'm providing a voice/advocating for that frustrated part, which he doesn't know. What are my options? I feel like I can get in now (with whatever I got in my hands today) or never.

Please: there's a link for anonymous feedback below!

📌 Recap of previous call:

Said he unburdened another exile (similar age, shame embarrassment), has been doing daily check-ins with them. Said sometimes the emotional work gets to be too much, and he goes back to his meditation practice. I said it sounds likes you have a wisdom practice and a compassion practice: two wings of the bird. 

He said he is now better at detecting parts, "Im here, I cant be anywhere else", that he used to feel like he had to do it every week, expressed concern re juggling it all. "I feel more positive and... more (parts work) is not always better" "theres a lot more acceptance of my system".

I said "its a different set of problems. You traded one for another. It used to be you didn't know what was right for you, really wanted to get in, get the healing done, and now you have the opposite problem of knowing where you're going, what works for you, but have to say 'no' to some of it"

I said that just parts knowing "ok he's coming" probably helps them a lot.

He said "the manager can get so much done but sometimes... managing the manager" I said "Self leadership!"

He called it a discovery, said it's like he is the peaceful warrior, and he can put up a shield for his system.

He said he wanted to share it with friends. said he gave a book and it was received well. I said "you're not the first whom I've met through this project to say you shared it with friends" And "It doesn't have to be high stakes, because everyone can do it. You dont have to do what I'm doing, or become a psychologist. You can slip it in conversation: just say "so a part of you wants this and a part of you wants that... how do you feel towards that part" and you're doing it!

He said "Yeah. It's easy."

-----

🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James:

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Showstopper: Life & IFS — without Live IFS??

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

Justine requested we just talk about this, to not do a session. That's why I'm not going there.

Throwing some hail marys at the end there, via direct access. It was scary for lots of my parts, but I'm thinking "before you go, can I meet them, introduce myself?" Listening back, I don't think it was a terrible decision, but definitely felt on the edge.

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube


How to leave a review - iPhone

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Can parts cause inflammation? Disapproval from on high: “I'm going to be found out, punished, I'm the one who’s wrong”.

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

I try to gather Self energy in preparation for every call, and today I felt 10/10. But when the call started, I quickly went from feeling courageous and clear to nearly spacing out. Afterward I tried diagnosing and realized: back pain in this posture.

"Accessing Self-energy isn't a cognitive process I can put on a flashcard? Damn!", parts of me. But I say good news! It's liberating! The model is body/sensation focused, so this makes sense. And don't worry, this was recorded first week of May. I fixed it!

James, callers: Get comfortable! Parts protect us when we don't protect ourselves. If I learn nothing else from this project but "I need my body to be at ease, comfortable, to be at my best", what an invaluable lesson! Oh, the things they don't teach in school...

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube


How to leave a review - iPhone

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Sitting with the part that gets annoyed with my mother!

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

I could probably move 2x speed especially in initial targeting, but we're having such fun!

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube


How to leave a review - iPhone

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 "Am I evil?" Buried under layers of shame. Why so heavy handed?

🔹 Parts:

🎓 What I'd like to do differently:

New record for me: least amount of talking? Why explain, when her parts can? I also avoided connecting the mom (and grandpa) images to this protector. 1. Because maybe it didn’t quite fit 2. Not entice the story-teller, dot-connector.

-----
🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form
😀Come chat with us: Discord

🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:

Itunes

YouTube


How to leave a review - iPhone

👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire