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Live IFS
Live IFS episodes
- 161: Anne A. - first call
🔸 Anne plans to coach using IFS and is ready to work with the big issue threatening her marriage.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- You're not worth it. They'd be better off if you weren't here.
- The wall on the chest, the cell
- Afraid of heart break
- Rather be loving everyone
- Thinks Anne is 8
- Calm, and for her to work with Pride, and for a mother-daughter date possibly involving horses
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:I feel like some of my worst work happens when a first-time caller is crying in the first five minutes. I detected multiple "exile flags" in the beginning of the call, and even after we switched targets, it felt to me like we had one foot in exile-land (the unshackling from a dark cell). I need to work on asking the right questions to deexileate, especially with first time callers.On the other hand, I believe that all parts are like children when compared to Self. All fundamentally want and need the same thing from us. Maybe the "start with protectors" rule has as much to do with building a therapeutic relationship with the client as it does them building trust with parts.
-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"44 min - 160: Jo A. revisits
🔸 A different approach leads us to the overwhelmed woman and the people pleaser.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- Overwhelmed, too much to do
- Afraid of being hurt if not busy
- Thinks she’s 15
- Needs Jo to establish boundaries, not invite the wrong people in
- The people pleaser also thinks she’s 15
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:Again inspired by Derek Scott recently, I decided to try to “cover more ground” by offering more frequent guidance. Keep trying different approaches, it's the least I can do.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"53 min - 159: Daniel A. revisits
🔸 "I never felt like anyone was there for me because I never felt like I was there for myself"
Daniel followed up with me after the call saying “... seems like the blank paper as an intermediary works very well now, I'm connecting with parts with enough of distance to not get overwhelmed when I'm doing it alone. Kinda like a safety barrier""
-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone- 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"1 hr 8 min - 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
- 158: Rachel A. revisits
🔸 Exile #2: "The sling and everything"
(Rachel was exhausted after our last call. Turned out to be covid.)
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- Anxiety and fear want to keep things in order
- The 5 year old
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:I'm feeling more confident in going to exiles now with Rachel. I have parts saying both "too fast" and "too slow"... so... just right? Rachel said she had been through some exile unburdening with an IFS therapist before. We'll see how effective our work is.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"1 hr 21 min - 157: Rosie A. revisits
🔸 Protectors on hiatus.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- The infant. Less than one year old
- Infant can't say what she needs, but Rosie has some ideas.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:Who can really understand what an infant wants? Maybe no one. And every one.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"51 min - 156: Aandraya A. - first call
🔸 Aandraya's "wonder woman" part is losing hope; after 25 years of migraines, and 10 years of Lyme disease, the anxious-avoidant "just stay sick / in bed" part is taking over.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- The high performing, high achieving, problem solving part
- Head, tension in face
- Fear: never enough, not worthy
- Thinks she 8
- 12
- Needs patience. Baby steps.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:I'm not well-rested, kinda headachy, fortunately Aandraya picked up the slack. The plan is to add more time to decompress before calls.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"1 hr 4 min - 155: Jo A. revisits
🔸 A room full of babies, and a critic we've met, but haven't quite helped. I'm driving and somewhat scattered, fortunately we combine self energy.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- The New York / Italian manager / critic
- Rather be sailing
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:Sorry Jo and listeners, I was dealing with technical and scheduling and climate difficulties.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"39 min - 154: Daniel A. revisits
🔸 Putting others first brings out feelings of victimhood. We also spot "against forgiving myself" / "the underdog", "the emperor", and the exile behind them all.
FYI when I say "we've talked for almost an hour", I'm not lying; I cut the pre-session chat out of most calls.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:Get more sleep.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"1 hr 5 min - 153: Rachel A. revisits
🔸 It's time to bring that little girl home from the hospital.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- Protector: You shouldn't be that way
- Throat
- Fear of being seen as stupid, and of being left along
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:I could have talked less. She liked being reassured that her responses were normal, so I took those opportunities.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"1 hr 36 min - 152: Zach A. - first call
🔸 Zach's been in therapy since age 16 and just left his Level 3 IFS practitioner after 6-7 sessions. We spend less than half the call doing parts work. The rest is questions and guesses. I use all the analogies. Lots of skeptical parts. Lots of parts wanting to jump in.
-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
1 hr 10 min
About Live IFS
From the publisher's feed
Internal Family Systems live sessions & demos. Free and open-sourced peer-work. This is not therapy. We claim no expertise and sell nothing but hope.
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