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Live IFS
Live IFS episodes
- 151: Hanna A. revisits
🔸 Hanna believes she is neurodivergent, but getting a diagnosis in her country is extra challenging, so without a diagnosis she prefers to stick to this general label. We talk to parts in the system related to being organized, daily functioning, and so-called "adulting", otherwise known as EF (executive functioning) deficits, which I know well in myself. From my understanding of it, her experience with these parts typifies the daily struggle of people who have not found support for EF deficits.
FYI she is whispering because it's early morning there, and her child is sleeping nearby.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- No Planning Allowed!
- Afraid of what happens without enough action, like when she felt stuck in a bad relationship. And afraid of the critic that comes in after the overwhelm.
- Rather be helping direct action
- Is ~10 years younger than Hannah
- Needs for her to work with the critic and keep a record of tasks completed, proof of action.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:It's a challenge for me to stick to IFS, feeling like I have a lot to offer around working with EF skills specifically, from my own experience with ADHD. Repeating what I shared recently on discord: It’s one topics on which I disagree w Dick Schwartz...
-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"56 min - 150: Jo A. revisits
🔸 Lots of protectors upfront. We work systematically, bringing some fresh insight from a 3 year old. We cover new ground like dealing with possible false memories.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:I said something about killing the father, which triggered a "feeling judged" part in Jo. I was genuinely curious and we’ve worked together so much... Was it a misstep?-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
58 min - 149: Daniel A. revisits
🔸 The anger and the anxiety. We let them play.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:I told Daniel it would be fine for him to be late to our meeting, having forgotten that I had a pro scheduled to record right after. I was alerted to that mid-call, and it destroyed my focus. That's why I just kept deferring to him. If you're there, you got this.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
1 hr - 148: Rosie A. revisits
🔸 Figuring out figuring out. An attempt at direct access.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- The figuring out part, the others. see notes.
- Uncomfortable with meditation
- Set up to fail
- Blanking
- Fear of hurting others
- Rejection
⬥ Rosie shared her parts list:
Exile:
- Alone cuz me part
- Sad/lonely/shame/terrified because
- bad/difficult/burden/problem/wrong/misunderstood
Managers/Parts trying to get it right:
- Figure it out, the manager
- Articulate one
- Caretaker
- Smiley/Laughing Girl
- Don’t know what I’m doing so freeze part
- Rational teenager
- Blank one
- Push through part
Firefighters/Parts coping with having gotten it wrong:
- Shut down/sullen one
- trying not to need anything
- emotional withdrawer
- Growler “back off I can’t do/be better!”
- Figure it out, the firefighter
- The empathizer
- Talks me out of my feelings
- The fixer - emotional pursuer
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:Direct access, not something I feel very confident with, although I think I do it implicitly with more ease.Loving these calls with Rosie; I feel I'm at my growth edge, she's patient with me, and has enough experience around this work to have already tried whatever approach comes to me first.We chat a lot outside of these sessions, trying to understand what each of us can change to make our work more effective.I was full of assumptions in this call, my own figuring out parts. Maybe I identify with her too much? I make (too many) comments, in my own attempt to identify with figuring out. Is that building trust, making parts feel comfortable? Or is that blending?-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"1 hr 4 min - 147: Rachel A. revisits
🔸 Rachel is overwhelmed. We talk to anger, and circle exiles. I introduce the "self like" caregiver concept.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:Just using my judgement about going ahead vs not. I suggested we go for "angry" even though she brought up "scared" first. It seemed like the more protective of the two.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
1 hr 6 min - 146: Ian A. revisits
🔸 Recent public speaking is stressing Ian's system. We perform an exorcism.
(kidding!)🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- The domineering angry lecturer at the podium
- Afraid others will fail if they don't get the message
- Rather be enjoying natural conversation
- Thinks Ian is 34 (older than real age). Sees lots of ages in audience of subjects
- Needs a friend
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:I'm feeling unusually calm and clear-headed, need to figure out how to repeat that. This call was later in the evening than usual and I'm on day two of a fast. Hope I don't have to choose between doing good work and eating.The journey seemed not-so-unblended, we could have spent more time on that, but Ian has been doing IFS for a while and keeps coming back to it, I feel confident he's not getting lost.I said "followup with parts is so important" with last call, and chose not to today. It was intentional, not sure I can explain why.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
1 hr 3 min - 145: Jo A. revisits
🔸 A failed drug test provides a nice opportunity for parts work. We go straight to a 15 year old exile.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- Sad being excluded from community
- age 15
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:I'm sick today. IFS helps-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"46 min - 144: Luke A. revisits
🔸 Now what?
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:I had to keep attending to my own sad part: "Well, guess you don't need me anymore". More importantly, for me, is recognizing that this is also my frontier, I genuinely don't know what's next. But that's not anxiety, that's me.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
55 min - 143: Daniel A. - first call
🔸 "Just being compassionate turned this little kid completely around." Daniel is relatively new to IFS. We meet lots of parts.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- The overworker
- Right shoulder
- Afraid of being a loser on the street, aka worthlessness
- Needs to do more IFS
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:Improve how I deal with explainer/analyzer parts. Sometimes I just let them run and then shut down so as not to react from irritation. But with a first time caller, I don't want to be too pushy.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"52 min - 142: Brandon A. revisits
🔸 The twelve year old feels lost in space, the drive to fill it protects, the organizer responds.
🔹 Part (Location, Fear, Rather be doing, Age, Needs):- The judge of that ball of energy.
- Fears being scatterbrained, and its social consequences
- Rather be organizing, integrating
- Needs to be listened to!
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:(I mention watching the clock as Brandon typically calls from work on his lunch break, not because I'm trying to get rid of him.)
I asked ""feel towards?"" repeatedly and never quite got a Self-sounding answer. Should that be my cue to shift into direct access? My hesitance is due in part to Brandon's facility with communicating with parts. Sometimes it's months between our sessions, the added time makes me default to don't-push, but maybe I should change that. He loves IFS and can go deep so quickly, but we haven't quite unburdened exiles in the usual way.-----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here:ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionairre
"44 min
About Live IFS
From the publisher's feed
Internal Family Systems live sessions & demos. Free and open-sourced peer-work. This is not therapy. We claim no expertise and sell nothing but hope.
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