Men, Sex, and Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dr. David J. Ley. David is a world-renowned clinical psychologist, known for bringing scientifically-accurate and clinically sound information to discussions about modern sexuality. He serves on the board of the Sexual Health Alliance as an expert advisor and is an internationally-recognized expert on issues related to sexuality, pornography and mental health. He has appeared on television with Anderson Cooper, Katie Couric, Dr. Phil and others. He has been interviewed in publications ranging from the New York Times, Washington Post, LA Times and the London Telegraph, to Playboy and Hustler magazines. Dr. Ley has published extensively in both the academic and “pop” realms of literature. His latest book, Ethical Porn for Dicks, A Man's Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure has endorsements from Dan Savage and Pornhub.com and is a humorous and provocative handbook for men who want to think more comprehensively about porn. In 2018, he spoke with Esther Perel, at her Sessions Live conference exploring The Masculinity Paradox. His talk, seen here, offers a concise overview of his view on masculinity and sexual integrity. The Myth of Sex Addiction (2012) and Insatiable Wives (2009) were revolutionary explorations of sexual issues which blended a powerful client-centered narrative with a rich understanding of psychology, biology and sociology. Dr. Ley is starting a new project, exploring the stories behind people who engage in professional sexual misconduct. Why do teachers, lawyers, doctors, therapists and police cross sexual lines? He is interested in conducting confidential, anonymous interviews with people who have insight into these experiences. The two of us talk about the importance of prioritizing sexuality in the medical community. We also discuss the issues of porn, including definitions, usage, and masturbatory habits.

Key points:

Relevant links:

David’s Instagram: @davidleyphd

David’s website: https://www.davidleyphd.com/

On today’s episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I chat with Nick Perry. Nick is a Holistic Lifestyle Coach, Corrective Exercise Specialist and Men’s Work Facilitator who is passionate and driven by authentic relating and inspired living. Nick’s education in Holistic Lifestyle Coaching draws from personal mentoring and learning from some of the world’s leading healers, facilitators and physical therapists. For the last decade he has immersed himself in study and experimentation, acquiring qualifications across a broad range of modalities. Over the last few years his reach in the world has spread far, as he shares his knowledge, experience and personal story through podcasts, workshops and teachings in his mentorship program. Known for his deep presence, relatability and down-to-earth nature, Nick’s goal when working with clients is to leave them feeling empowered and aligned in themselves - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. 

Key points:

Relevant links:

Nick’s Instagram: @rhythmhealth

Nick’s website: https://www.rhythmhealth.com.au/about

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Forrest Andrews. Forrest is the Product and Business Development manager of Aneros. Forrest's relationship with Aneros began in 2000 and he has played an important role in the evolution of the company and their products ever since. This started when he was a customer and purchased their very first device. The impact on him was life-changing, turning around a decades-old health condition while revealing a powerful new orgasmic experience he would later call the “Super O”. After a series of productive conversations with the owners of the company, Forrest became their sole product tester and a consultant for the development of new products. Soon after he helped them launch the Aneros forum where he chronicled his own personal journey into the multi-orgasmic realm. In later years he compiled the Aneros WIKI comprised of terms drawn from his several thousand posts and threads. Between 2003 to 2012 he mentored men from all over the world helping them transition to new levels of sensual awareness through prostate massage. During the same period, he attended public and industry trade expos in the U.S. and Europe, as the company’s expert on the use of their devices. In 2016, Forrest became Aneros’ manager of Product and Business development where he’s supervised the creation and launch of the awarding winning Trident Series, the Trident Syn Series, the VICE 2 and the Helix Syn V. The two of us talk about the ins and outs of prostate stimulation, from massage to play to manual to vibration to health benefits to pleasure enhancement. If you’re interested in prostate pleasure, this is the episode for you.

Key points:

Relevant links:

The Aneros website: www.aneros.com

Forrest’s email: [email protected]

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I welcome back Yuval Mann. Yuval is the founder of the Sensual Alchemy School of Integrated Sexuality, his personal sex and relationship coaching business which teaches people how to have epic sex and legendary love. During his twenties, Yuval carried a bag full of trauma, shame, and guilt around his sexuality and relating to women due to his upbringing in an extreme Jewish Orthodox community. After leaving that community, Yuval embarked on a long journey of discovery into letting go of that shame, the blockage, and everything that was holding him back from making love with himself, women, and the world. Yuval and I chat about his experiences with Shibari - also known as Japanese rope bondage - and what he has learned about communication, surrender, and dominance from these experiences. We also talk about sex coaching and educating in general and how this work is received on social media as well as the barriers for sexuality professionals online.

Key points:

Relevant links:

Yuval’s Instagram: @yuvalmanns

Yuval’s TikTok: yuvalmann.s

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Kashira Whiteley. Kashira is a life coach. In her work she supports her clients on their path toward personal alignment and healing through unlearning old trauma responses and patterned behaviour that no longer serves them, as well as holding space for their self exploration and integration, so that they’re able to unlock the codes to rewiring their inner narrative and self-talk through developing new tools for their emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health. Her methods are holistic in nature, integrating science, the study of human psychology and behaviour, ancient practices such as astrology and her own intuition and clairsentience. Kashira believes in honouring the human experience at every level; mind, emotion, body and spirit with awareness of how these facets are all intimately interconnected and intersected. The two of us talk about slut shaming, narcissism, codependent relationships, experimenting with sexuality, creating erotic content, and the similiarities between personal training and pro domming.

Key points:

Relevant links:

Kashira’s Instagram: @Consciouslykash

Kashira’s YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Kashy92

Work with Kashira: https://consciouslykash.as.me/schedule.php

On today’s episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Gold Coast based Sex Therapist, Relationship Counsellor, and Intimacy Coach Helena Nista. Helena is certified in sex therapy, somatic counselling and Tantra. She’s a mentor, author, speaker and lover. Helena is passionate about helping her clients become the best lovers they can possibly be, overcome any sexual difficulties and create amazing sex lives. She does it through 1-on-1 sex therapy & coaching, online courses, books, workshops and events. Helena’s 1-on-1 sessions are conducted internationally over Zoom. To date Helena has coached thousands of clients, done hundreds of sex therapy sessions, and her online programs have reached countless individuals all over the world. The two of us talk about the practical aspects of being a legendary lover, particularly for men who have sex with women.

Key Points:

Relevant links:

Helena’s website: www.helenanista.com

Helena’s Instagram: @helenanista

Helena’s YouTube: youtube.com/helenanista

Helena’s book: “Legendary Lover”

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I chat again with Dr. Betty Martin. Betty has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years, first as a Chiropractor and upon retiring from that practice, as a certified Surrogate Partner, Sacred Intimate, and Somatic Sex Educator. Her explorations in somatic-based therapy and practices informed her creation of the framework, The Wheel of Consent®. As part of her work with the School of Consent, Betty travels around the world teaching practitioners how to create empowered agreements in their client sessions, in her highly sought-after training “Like A Pro: The Wheel of Consent for Practitioners.” Originally developed as an offering to teach much-needed consent skills to sex workers and touch providers, this training is now attended by somatic therapists, massage therapists, sexuality educators, medical and health care workers, activists, human resources folks and the spectrum of touch-based professional providers – all of whom complete the training with a clear understanding of how consent starts with our own bodies, and then expands outwards into all forms of human relating, with or without touch. Betty and I dive deeper into her Wheel of Consent framework, specifically regarding the observations she has made about men over the years she has done this work. We speak about some practical ways for men to explore particular quadrants of the Wheel of Consent.

Key points:

Relevant links:

Betty’s website: https://wheelofconsentbook.com/authors/

Betty’s Instagram: @thewheelofconsent

Betty’s Instagram: @drbettymartin

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dr. Jae West, PhD. Jae is the first WA certified Blueprint Coach with Jaiya, has a PhD in Health Psychology & Exercise Physiology, is an established dancer and choreographer, and actress with The Hairy Godmothers. She draws from her smorgasbord of interests to provide fun, interesting and unique ways of exploring pleasure, play and intimacy. The two of talk about embodiment and how we can explore this in both erotic and non-erotic ways. We also dive deep into Erotic Blueprints and how this framework can be applied to sex, relationships, and communication in general.

Key Points:

Relevant links:

Jae’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Jae-West-110301157803098/

Jae’s website: www.jaewest.com

Jae’s website: www.aussieblueprintcoaches.com

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Alex Holmes. Alex is a London-based writer, mental health specialist and trainee existential psychotherapist. In 2021, he won the Creative Impact Award for Best Mental Health Awareness, for his writing and conversations on mental health. He was also featured among Positive.News ‘20 Mental Health Leaders Supporting The Nation’s Wellbeing’. His debut book is titled “Time To Talk: How Men Think About Love, Belonging, and Connection.” Alex writes a weekly publication,Liminalities, interviewing writers and thinkers on mental health and life’s transitions, and exploring the human condition one sentence at a time. He is also the founder and creator of the leading podcast Time To Talk with Alex Holmes, highly commended by British GQ as a top podcast for 2020 and 2021.The two of us discuss his book, particularly what Alex’s refers to as the real man myths, including real men are fearless go-getters and real men have no worries about their bodies.

Key Points:

- Alex shares about his writing and podcast

- Lack of focus on men’s issues

- Men and mental health

- The myth of the real man

- The lone wolf

- Male friendships

- Masculinity and representation

Relevant links:

Alex’s website: alexholmes.co

Alex’s podcast: https://pod.link/1437894589

Alex’s Instagram: @byalexholmes

On today’s episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dee McDonald. Dee is a psychotherapist, relationship counsellor, sexual empowerment coach, researcher, and writer on non-monogamies and recreational sex. Her knowledge is drawn from a fusion of conventional and less established sources. She has long known and has proudly sought the practical experience of some of her sex worker friends in understanding some of the hidden depths of human sexuality. Dee has always viewed sex as a holistic experience and finds that the misperception of what sex is, and increasing dependence on genital sex is a common reason many people choose to visit a sex therapist. She understands sex as both Recreational and Relational. Having the potential to both provide the more commonly acceptable purposes of procreation and bonding whilst retaining the erotic elements usually associated with initial attraction. Sex as play seems to have been rather let down by the stresses and romantic requirements of modern society and Dee’s passion is in rekindling, where possible, the flames of desire. The two of us talk about non-monogamy, non-traditional relationships, polyamory, and swinging. We discuss Dee’s work with couples who are interested in polyamory and the ways she helps them navigate this.

Key Points:

- Dee shares about her work

- Communication is key

- Polyamory and consent

- When one partner is interested in polyamory

- Non-monogamous relationships

- Jealousy and reassurance

- Meeting your needs

- Talking to your kids about your relationship

- Swinging, stigma, and sex parties

Relevant links:

Dee’s website: www.crossriverwellbeing.com

Dee’s InstagramI: @dee.mcdonald.59

Dee’s Twitter: wellbeingCR

Dee’s Facebook: /desireemcdonald2021