No Visible Bruises

It is time to celebrate YOU! We have hit over 2 million downloads now and appreciate each and every one of you. Today's episode is also the 100th episode, so it is a DOUBLE CELEBRATION, and today is all about "Ask Me Anything" where many of you have been sending in questions and these get answered. For this episode, I’ve tried to pick the questions that I believe will relate to the majority of you. 

Questions in this episode include:

• Was the relationship ever real?
• How can I help my children who look like they are following in their fathers narcissistic traits?
• My husband is copying his narcissistic mother, so is he now a narcissist?
• How do I deal with flying monkeys?
• Why is a narcissist not like this with everyone?

These questions and more are all answered in this extended episode. Every first Tuesday of each month will now be an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to [email protected] where we will endeavour to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode! 

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 

Fight, flight and freeze are common trauma responses, but there’s a fourth called Fawn which is often experienced when dealing with a narcissist. These trauma responses are controlled by your nervous system and are typically out of your control, you will respond in the present based on what you have experienced in the past. So, in this episode, I discuss the science behind trauma responses and why this often uncontrollable reaction is designed to keep you safe.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why we have trauma responses built into us and what causes them to be triggered
• What the fawn trauma response is and the correlation to narcissistic abuse
• How my nervous system reacted to narcissistic abuse

I break down how each trauma response works and how they impact your behaviour, from short term reactions to long term behaviour changes.

If you’re listening to this episode close to its release date, I would love to hear what questions you would like to hear me answer! In episode 100, I will be answering your questions! So, feel free to email me at [email protected] with your questions and I’ll hopefully be able to answer them in my next episode.

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

There is a correlation between the consumption of pornography, watching sex, and engaging in sex with narcissistic personality types. So, in this episode, I discuss how these habits can impact a relationship and what you can do to ensure you don’t become manipulated by a narcissist's desires. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why narcissists are often addicted to porn and sex
• How a narcissist will gaslight you into doing something you don’t want to
• Methods to noticing what a narcissist is doing and how to create an exit strategy

I explore how porn addiction can lead to a narcissist gaslighting you, why you may be forced to loosen your boundaries because of your involuntary survival responses, and how porn soothes a narcissist's inner wounds. I hope this episode helps you realise what your narcissistic partner is doing so that you can plan toward a healthy exit strategy.

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Covert narcissists are quite often the most dangerous, so it’s imperative that you know how to spot one. So, in this episode, I will share the telltale signs of a covert narcissist, from how they act in public compared to in private, to the passive-aggressive behaviours that they’ll show. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why covert narcissists are the most dangerous
• How to safely cut off the narcissistic supply that you may be giving
• What codependency is and why it plays a role in the covert narcissist

Covert narcissists will act as the nicest person possible when in front of your friends and family, so that when you go to them for help, your family and friends will not believe you as you’ll be explaining a completely different person to what they’re used to. So, the first thing you need to know is that I believe you and that you also need to believe yourself, as finding a support structure is so important to getting the ball rolling on dealing with a covert narcissist. 

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Narcissists will attempt to put the blame on you for a fractured relationship by causing you to lash out, this is called Reactive Abuse and whilst there is so much in the public domain at the moment with court cases like Johnny Depp V Amber Heard (the only winners here are the lawyers), it is an ideal opportunity to learn and educate ourselves about the devastating effects. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• What reactive abuse is
• How to deal with a situation where reactive abuse is happening
• Why you cannot blame yourself if you lash out when a narcissist is pushing your buttons

In this episode, I will discuss the tactics narcissists use to perpetrate reactive abuse, and how to deal with a situation where reactive abuse is happening. Narcissists will often use your lashing out to blame YOU for the problems in the relationship, so I hope this episode will help you understand that your lashing out is not your fault. 

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse

• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

I was scrolling on Instagram when I discovered a post about empaths and found that the comments were extremely judgemental, saying that empaths do not exist. So, in this episode, I discuss what an empath is and share the scientific evidence that proves empaths are real. As well as discussing empaths, I discuss what being a codependent is and I also share what the fourth trauma response is. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why being an empath is different from having empathy
• The scientific difference between empaths and narcissists 
• How you can go from being an exhausted empath to an empowered empath

After discussing empaths, I dive into what a codependent is, why childhood trauma can turn you into a codependent, and how you can become a recovered codependent, then I’ll share that there is a fourth trauma response state. You have fight, flight and freeze, as well as the fawn response, so I’ll explore what this response is and why narcissitic abuse can lead to having this response. 

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Do you have an inkling that you may be living with a narcissist? It could be your partner, a housemate or even a member of your family. Your suspicion may be correct, so in this episode, I’m going to share 5 ways to recognise if you’re living with a narcissist. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• The common behaviours of a narcissist 
• How covert narcissists differ from overt narcissists
• Ways to navigate around a narcissist so you can distance yourself 

It’s so important to know that you’re living with a narcissist, because once you know who it is you’re living with, you’ll have a better chance of being able to deal with them. I’ll discuss common narcissistic behaviours, from how they interact with different people to the emotions they show. Reach out to me through [email protected] or message me on Facebook & Instagram so that we can bring you into our community to help you deal with what you are going through.

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

It is estimated that over 20% of a country's population is suffering from chronic pain, and often the root cause of the pain is unknown. However, for those suffering from emotional trauma, such as being in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, chronic pain can be a symptom of that emotional trauma. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why your chronic physical pain could be caused by emotional trauma
• How your body reacts to traumatic situations and what issues that can cause
• The methods to solving chronic pain by analysing your inner emotional wounds

In this episode, I’m going to discuss how our body deals with narcissistic abuse and why your emotional pain can often manifest itself as physical pain. The knowledge of how your brain, nervous system and body react to emotional trauma can be the key to being able to solve chronic pain, so I hope this episode can help you understand why you may be feeling the way you do. 

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse

• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Your inner critic can often become overwhelming and we will perceive it to be having a negative impact on us. However, if we redefine what the inner critic is, we can start to learn what it is really there for and how to use it to identify and overcome our inner wounds. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why we have an inner critic and what role it plays
• How to identify and overcome your inner wounds
• Why you should perceive your inner critic as a good thing

In this episode I will discuss how to deal with your inner critic by identifying and overcoming your inner wounds as well as why we have an inner critic, because you aren’t a critical person, there’s a part of you that is designed to be critical to be able to help you overcome your past.

Resources:

• Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
• The Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification Waitlist: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICCWaitlist2022

Join my FREE Masterclass on "The 4 Stages Of Trauma Bonding With A Narcissist" - Register here and you will be sent a recording if you can't make it LIVE https://go.carolinestrawson.com/nticc-masterclass-organic

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I want you to understand why you feel the way you do with a narcissist, and I hope this episode and my FREE Masterclass this Thursday (April 7th, 2022) will help shine a light on your feelings and how to break a trauma bond and cure your addiction to a narcissist.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why we become physiologically addicted to being in a relationship
• How to break a trauma bond and end your addiction to a narcissist
• The biology behind narcissistic addiction

Becoming addicted to a narcissist and the hormones you get from being in a relationship is not your fault. Your body is designed to react in certain ways to protect you, but you must know how this biology works so that you can end your narcissistic addiction safely.

Resources:

• Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse 
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/