Nope! We're Not Monogamous

First dates in the non-monogamous world? We've got you covered!

Join Ellecia and Danny for a hilarious and informative exploration of navigating this unique dating scene. From conversation starters (forget the weather!) to open communication, this episode equips you with the tools to feel confident and empowered.

What to expect:

• Break the ice with questions that spark real connections: Learn how to ask engaging questions about someone's journey into non-monogamy and their existing relationships.
• Ditch the "what do you do?" routine: Learn thought-provoking questions that spark genuine connection and go beyond the surface.
• Our not-so-perfect dating moments (Waterworld, anyone?): Laugh along as Ellecia and Danny share their personal dating mishaps, proving you're not alone in the awkwardness.
• Rejection stinks, but you won't: How to handle the inevitable "no" with grace and bounce back stronger.
• Boundaries & Polycule Talk: Tips for navigating important topics without the awkwardness.
• Laugh-out-loud stories: Ellecia and Danny share relatable anecdotes that will leave you nodding along (and maybe snorting a little).

This episode is your one-stop shop for making non-monogamous dating fun, fulfilling, and full of laughter.

Want More?

Want to become a master of navigating conversations about ethical non-monogamy? Download your free copy of my ebook, Let's Talk About It: Your Guide to Ethically Non-monogamous Conversations! This comprehensive guide provides even more in-depth strategies, conversation prompts, and practical tips to ensure your non-monogamous relationships thrive.

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Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

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Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Imagine growing up in a world where love had strict rules, only to break free and discover endless possibilities. This is the story of Dan and Jennie, a married couple who defied societal norms to embrace ethical non-monogamy.

For over 30 years, Dan and Jennie have navigated the challenges of leaving behind their conservative religious roots and exploring swinging and polyamory. In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Dan shares their journey, from dealing with shame and judgment to tackling the emotional rollercoaster of jealousy and breakups. His insights give us a rare look into the highs and lows of living life on their own terms.

Here’s what you can expect from this inspiring episode:

• Letting Go of Old Beliefs: Discover strategies for shedding outdated beliefs and building real connections.
• Effective Communication and Boundaries: Learn how to communicate better and set healthy boundaries in non-monogamous relationships.
• Managing Triggers and Embracing Vulnerability: Get practical tips for handling emotional triggers, embracing vulnerability, and focusing on personal growth.
• Redefining Love and Sexuality: Gain a fresh perspective on love, sexuality, and the freedom to design relationships that reflect your true values.

With honesty and hard-earned wisdom, Dan dives into the transformative power of confronting personal traumas, embracing all parts of oneself, and living authentically. Whether you’re experienced in non-monogamy or just curious about different relationship structures, this episode is a must-listen. It’s a powerful reminder that love has no limits.

Join me, Ellecia, and Dan on this eye-opening journey, and find the courage to create a life that’s full, passionate, and true to yourself.

Want to connect with Dan?  email [email protected]

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

 What if everything you thought you knew about relationships was wrong? Our guest today has been openly non-monogamous for over 20 years, challenging assumptions about love and intimacy every step of the way. Get ready to question societal rules and create connections that actually work for you.

Over the past two decades, Brandon has navigated the intricacies of open relationships and ethical non-monogamy. He shares his journey - one filled with hard-won lessons on communication, self-awareness, and letting go of expectations. Brandon explains key concepts like relationship anarchy and the "relationship escalator" in plain terms anyone can understand. He's painfully honest about handling jealousy, avoiding common pitfalls, and why you must know yourself before inviting others into an open dynamic. 

  Tune into this taboo-busting episode to: 

• The Art of Communication: Brandon will share how he helps people improve their conversation skills to better manage new relationship energy (NRE).
• Self-Discovery and Emotional Intelligence: We'll talk about the importance of understanding yourself to better navigate the complexities of polyamorous relationships.
• Breaking Free from Social Expectations: Brandon will discuss how stepping outside conventional relationship models can lead to more authentic connections.

What part of Brandon's story are you curious about? Have you faced similar challenges in non-monogamy? I'd love to hear your experiences, so feel free to share!
 

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Can sex magic really help you manifest your desires and enhance pleasure? In this candid conversation with Lona, a neo-tantra teacher and sexual bliss coach, we unravel the mysteries behind this esoteric practice. Lona shares her personal journey into non-monogamy, kink, and somatic therapy as gateways to deeper fulfillment. 

We explore the challenges of her transition from a decade in a monogamous relationship to forging her own path of "no rules" polyamory. Lona explains how she discovered tantra while studying witchcraft, and became fascinated by its power to merge sexuality and spirituality. She offers insight into missteps within past relationships, and how those experiences ultimately strengthened her connections. Lona also discusses techniques for moving beyond trauma triggers using the wisdom of the body over that of the mind. 

By tuning in you’ll: 

• Gain perspective into a teacher's evolution with non-monogamy and polyamory
• Learn foundational concepts of neo-tantra, sex magic, somatic therapy
• Pick up strategies for communicating needs and embracing vulnerability in relationships
• Find inspiration to explore your most authentic sexual and spiritual self

 Join us for an eye-opening, taboo-busting conversation that will teach you how to unlock the magical power of pleasure. Hit play now to start manifesting your desires. 

Want to Connect with Lona?
www.lonateachesbliss.com

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today, we're challenging everything you thought you knew about love with Adam Lyons, a world-renowned dating coach and psychology expert who's turning traditional views on their head.

Adam argues that love isn't just an emotion; it's actually deeply rooted in science, specifically tied to the chemical oxytocin. He'll share how understanding the triggers of attachment, attraction, and happiness can completely transform the way we approach dating and relationships.

Adam has a fascinating journey into polyamory and a rich background in both psychology and business, and hes outspoken in his desire to reshape our understanding of romantic relationships. Living in a polyamorous throuple and raising a family within this dynamic has given him a unique perspective on love's complexities. Today, he's here to debunk the myths we've been fed—from fairy tales to Hollywood romances—and to offer practical advice for navigating love in today's world.

Prepare to have your perceptions of love and relationships profoundly challenged and enriched. Let's dive into a conversation with Adam Lyons about redefining love beyond the conventional.

Want to Connect with Adam? 

• Visit askthedatingcoach.com to take the free personality test and gain insights into your dating life and self-sabotage patterns.
• Connect with Adam Lyons on Instagram at @theadamlyons for more dating and relationship advice and tips.

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Welcome to a candid exploration of the highs and lows of the non-monogamous journey, especially after the significant life transition of divorce. If you've found the path to non-monogamy leaving you with more questions than answers, feeling both overwhelmed and intrigued, this episode is for you.

Joining me today are Hunter and Butcher, the insightful duo behind the Poly Pocket Podcast. As a married, UK-based couple navigating polyamory with children, they offer a relatable and supportive voice for those in the polyamorous, consensual non-monogamous (CNM), open relationship, or swinging communities. Their commitment to the development and support of the 'Poly' community shines through their podcast and now, in our conversation.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• Mastering the Transition: Hunter and Butcher share their personal experiences of moving into non-monogamy after divorce, offering wisdom on navigating this significant life change.
• Unveiling Polyamory: Discover how embracing polyamory can open a new chapter of sexual and emotional exploration, and what it means to truly open up after a traditional monogamous marriage.
• Embracing Empowerment: Dive into the world of sexual empowerment coaching. Learn how this approach can transform your relationships and personal confidence within a non-monogamous context.
• Conquering the Green-Eyed Monster: Jealousy is a common challenge in any relationship, but it holds particular prominence in polyamorous dynamics. Hunter and Butcher discuss strategies for managing jealousy and fostering secure attachments.
• Thriving in Non-Monogamy: Uncover the keys to successful non-monogamous relationships. From communication to boundaries, hear how to navigate the complexities and joys of loving multiple partners.

Whether you're new to the concept of non-monogamy or have been on this path for some time, Hunter and Butcher's insights offer valuable guidance and support. Join us as we navigate the intricate, rewarding journey of non-monogamy.

Connect with Hunter and Butcher: 

• Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major podcast platforms.
• @Poly_pocket_show Instagram - Follow for updates, behind-the-scenes content, and more 

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Welcome to a heart-to-heart with Shelby Avann, where we peel back the layers on relationships, intimacy, and the magic of healing. Shelby isn't just any relationship and intimacy coach. She’s a Reiki healer too, with a knack for weaving spirituality and science into a transformative blend that empowers women to deepen emotional intimacy, shake off codependency, and wave goodbye to loneliness.

In today’s chat, Shelby gets real about her own love life adventures. She's journeyed from exploring polyamory to finding her sweet spot in what she calls a "monogamish" relationship. It’s all about discovering what truly clicks with your heart and values.

Here’s What We’re Getting Into:

• Finding Your Non-Monogamy Fit: Shelby talks about figuring out which form of non-monogamy feels right, because one size definitely doesn’t fit all.
• Jealousy: The Green Monster: How do you deal with jealousy and insecurity as you open up your relationship? Shelby's got some solid advice.
• Trust Talks: The importance of laying down a strong foundation of trust through open talks about needs and setting clear boundaries.
• Self-Growth is Key: Shelby stresses the importance of working on yourself to find security and fulfillment in any relationship.
• Healing with Reiki: Discover how Reiki can help clear those stubborn emotional blockages that keep you stuck.

Shelby’s insights on building intimacy through being real, vulnerable, and sometimes just plain silly with your partner are gold. She also tackles how letting anxiety run the show can throw a wrench in making those deep connections. No matter where you stand on the relationship spectrum, Shelby's wisdom is like having a heart-to-heart with a friend who’s seen it all.

Want to connect with Shelby?

• www.shelbyavann.ca

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Jealousy: the green-eyed monster we've all wrestled with at some point, and the surprise guest in many non-monogamous relationships. But what if jealousy isn't the adversary we've been conditioned to believe? This week, relationship coach Ali Henry joins me to unwrap the layers of this complex emotion, promising to take you on a journey from apprehension to enlightenment. We'll share laughs, personal stories, and Ali's expert insights, transforming jealousy from a stumbling block to a stepping stone in our intimate connections.

You'll discover:
- Why jealousy gets a "bad rap" in monogamy and how non-monogamy takes a more compassionate approach
- Tangible tips for mapping where jealousy originates from your past
- The key to transmuting jealousy into curiosity
- Hilarious and insightful stories of Ali's thruple dynamics

Ali's vulnerability and wisdom left me feeling seen, understood, and ready to approach jealousy with more self-love and patience.

Ali Hendry is a certified relationship coach specializing in non-monogamous relationships, with a particular focus on LGBTQIA+ women, non-binary individuals, and trans folks. Her extensive experience extends to working with singles, duos, and non-monogamous pods, offering valuable guidance in navigating the complexities of diverse relationship dynamics. As a contributor to Diva magazine, Ali's expertise and insights provide a credible perspective on embracing individual love styles and managing non-monogamous dynamics, making her a highly knowledgeable and esteemed voice in the field.

Want to connect with Ali?

• Alihendry.co.uk
• Instagram
•  TEDx Survivor’s Guide to Jealousy https://youtu.be/BTtrGxZXWrI?si=voANt0hpmbHvJ8FL 

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Hey friends! We’re going on a journey with Nicoletta Heidegger, therapist, sexologist, and host of the "Sluts and Scholars" podcast, as we chat about the world of non-monogamy on my latest podcast episode. Nicoletta opened up about her 7-year exploration from monogamy to embracing a non-monogamous lifestyle, sharing the raw challenges she encountered along the way. From aligning with partners who share her vision to battling the need to feel "special" and dismantling a scarcity mindset, Nicoletta's story is both vulnerable and profoundly relatable.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Some of the joys and challenges of navigating non-monogamous relationships.
• Some Strategies for overcoming common hurdles in the transition to non-monogamy.
• The importance of building connections with seasoned individuals in the non-monogamous community.
• Techniques for nervous system regulation to achieve relationship harmony.
• The critical role of self-awareness in cultivating healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Want to get in touch with Nicoletta?

• @SlutsonScholars
• @therapywithnicoletta
• https://slutsscholars.libsyn.com/

Resources in this episode

• Check out the book The Polyamory Paradox by Irene Mourning for insights into somatic nervous system healing and finding confidence in non-monogamy.
• Explore the concept of Circles of Sexuality by searching online for resources and tools to understand your sexual narrative, beliefs, and values.
• Learn about equine-assisted psychotherapy and its benefits by researching local therapy centers or practitioners who offer this unique form of therapy.

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

In the depths of Orit Krug's personal journey, she discovered an unexpected truth about love and relationships. As she bravely embraced polyamory, she unearthed the transformative power of self-love in navigating the complexities of multiple partners. But just when she thought she had it all figured out, a new challenge emerged, leaving her questioning everything she thought she knew. Stay tuned as Orit's emotional narrative unfolds, revealing the unexpected twist that shifted her perspective on love and self-acceptance.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Explore the nuances of polyamory and non-monogamous relationships for a deeper understanding of diverse connections.
• Experience the transformative power of dance movement therapy in healing past traumas and unlocking emotional freedom.
• Master the art of navigating jealousy in polyamorous relationships to foster trust and emotional resilience.
• Embrace the importance of self-love in polyamory to enhance personal well-being and strengthen relationship dynamics.
• Cultivate a healthy connection with your body to promote self-awareness, confidence, and overall wellness.

Orit Krug is an award-winning Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist and Licensed Creative Arts Therapist who has helped transform the lives of more than 5,000 clients for the past 13 years. Orit specializes in helping individuals & couples strengthen their relationships by working through past trauma stored in the body. As Orit practices polyamory in her own life, she uses her experience and platform to ensure that partners can safely expand beyond normal boundaries, experience deeply satisfying love, and enhance pleasure without sabotage.

Want to connect with Orit? 

• Check out her retreat  https://oritkrug.com/polyamory-retreat
• Visit her website https://oritkrug.com

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237