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Today I am talking with Delphine Lumen. Delphine is someone who has a passion for learning about what makes happy, healthy relationships and has spent the last year or so creating social events like coffee socials, speed dating, and friending events for non monogamous folks. She creates spaces where genuine curiosity is welcome and heteronormativity, cis normativity, and mono-normativity are challenged. 

We talk about her story from growing up in a non-traditional household to spending seven years intentionally celibate before then starting to date and engage in polyamorous relationships. She talks about how people in polyamorous relationships deal with their jealousy and the challenges that are involved in untangling your genuine feelings from societal programming so that you can be authentically yourself in relationships.

💨 TLDR;

• What does it mean to be polyamorous?
• What it was like to start dating again as a polyamorous person
• The challenges of being non-monogamous
• Jealousy and non-monogamous conditioning
• The spectrum of non-monogamy
• Coffee socials, speed dating, and friending events
• Being authentically you

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Delphine?
www.LightsOnRelationships.com
https://www.facebook.com/LightsOnRelationships

📚 Books mentioned:
● The Ethical Slut, Janet Hardy

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Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About Us
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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Today, I am speaking with Eleanor O’Brien is the artistic director of Dance Naked Creative, a sex-positive theater and event company.   She is a writer, performer and facilitator.  We talk about her journey from monogamy to non-monogamy, how polyamory helped her expand her sexuality, and how writing a show about polyamory helped her overcome some of the challenges during that transition.  

Eleanor O'Brien starts a journey of non-monogamy and discovers that it's harder than it looks, especially when she begins to fall in love with someone other than her husband.

💨 TLDR;

• How Polyamory Helped Eleanor Expand Her Sexuality
• Love vs. Monogamy
• Navigating Jealousy in Relationships
• The Rise of Polyamory and How It’s Changing Relationships
• Focusing on What You Love and Are Grateful For

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.  And if you want more, join our Patreon! 

Want to connect with Eleanor?

WEBSITE 
PATREON
INSTAGRAM 
FB DANCE NAKED 
FETLIFE 
TWITTER 

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👀 Find Us Online
           - Website
           - Facebook
           - Instagram
Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout
About Us

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.
Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social s

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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This week I am talking with relationship anarchist and solo polyamorous person, Isha Vela.  Isha and I talk about how they came to understand and embrace non-monogamy as part of their identity, how you can use somatic practices in non-monogamy, and what non-monogamy looks like in different parts of your life.

"When I began loving in that way, it felt very much like coming home. It felt very much like, oh, this has always felt normal to me."

Isha Vela is a trauma psychologist, somatic practitioner and shadow doula supporting individuals and couples of all configurations in deepening intimacy, connection and relationship satisfaction using body wisdom and somatic expressive techniques. Using nervous system awareness and attunement techniques, Isha helps people transform their intimacy wounds into intimacy superpowers.

In addition to relationship work, Isha is a sovereignty coach and the creator of Body Based Business, a way of creating a bespoke business in alignment with your values and nervous system.
💨 TLDR;

• Finding non - monogamy as a structure.
• What is somatic work?
• What relationship anarchy looks like for Isha
• Coming out as non-monogamous.
• What makes a relationship successful
• What it looks like to use somatic practices in your relationship
• How polyamory varies by age 

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Isha?
www.ishavela.com
IG: @isha_vela
Body Based Business FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/bodybasedbiz/?ref=share

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👀 Find Us Online
           - Website
           - Facebook
           - Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About Us
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, a

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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Today, I'm talking to Dr. Joli Hamilton, again! We had such a great time on Episode 21 that we decided to do it all over again!  We're talking about how to differentiate your needs and wants and desires and how that shows up in long term relationships that are opening up or have been open for a while.  We touch on how we deal with jealousy and how to use our reactions to dig deeper into what’s changing in ourselves.

Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, and AASECT certified sex educator. Joli’s also the author of the best-selling book Project Relationship: The Entrepreneur's Action Plan for Passionate, Sustainable Love and host of the Project Relationship podcast. She has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibility. Joli helps people create partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.

💨 TLDR;

• How do you know when it’s time to evaluate a relationship?
• How to deal with frustration when you’re in a non-monogamous relationship.
• The entry point to moving out of the adolescent phase.
• What is desire? What is fantasy?
• Bringing your desire to your partner is not enough.
• How to turn on your internal flame and turn it on your partner.
• There’s no “right” way to deal with jealousy.

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Dr. Joli?
Quiz- www.JoliQuiz.com
Grab my top 5 Relationship Guides here - http://www.ListenToJoli.com     
Connect on Instagram   https://www.instagram.com/drjoli_hamilton/

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👀 Find Us Online
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           - Facebook
           - Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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Today I am talking with my friend Numina Mara.  Numina is a fantastic human and we had an amazing conversation that covered her love of the courtesan lifestyle, her experience in the sex industry, and what decriminalizing it could mean.  This conversation is juicy and if you aren’t already a patreon, you should do it because her sex tip is even juicier!

💨 TLDR;

• What non-monogamy looks like for her
• How to work through toxic behaviors that come from bad relationships
• Entering sex work
• Fantasy vs. human connection in sex work
• The importance of sexual education and sexual health

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more join our Patreon! 

Want to connect with Numina?

Numina Mara OnlyFans

Check out Numina Mara (@MaraNumina) on Twitter 

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 

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👀 Find Us Online
           - Website
           - Facebook
           - Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About Us

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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Today I’m talking to Kelli Moore. Kelli is the co founder and CEO of Soulfire productions, a podcast network for thought leaders, free thinkers and visionaries. Kelli and I chat about jealousy, opening a relationship, what changes happen when you get pregnant and how hormones affect your sex drive and the openness of a relationship and how she and her husband have navigated that. 

Kelli hosts the podcast, Okay, Babe and is a really passionate person.  She desires to help people see themselves more clearly, and really believes that we can set ourselves free from expectations and people pleasing and the stories that hold us hostage in our lives. 

💨 TLDR;

• 2:58- Monogamish
• 6:48- Facing Jealousy with Curiosity
• 16:30- Talking About Non-Monogamy
• 21:43- Pregnancy and Non-Monogamy
• 26:07- Finding Intimacy Without Sex
• 28:11- Relationships in Transition and Honoring Yourself
• 37:10- Building Self-Trust with Journaling
• 40:23- Creating Your Own Path

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Kelli...
Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/kellitmoore/?hl=en

OK, Babe- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ok-babe/id1497534094

Soulfire Productions- http://soulfireproductionsco.com/

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 

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👀 Find Us Online
      - Website
      - Facebook
     - Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About Us

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-m

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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This week’s episode is a little different!  Today I am sharing a conversation with my girlfriend, Salena.  We are giving you an inside look at the evolution of our relationship and how we have both discovered and came to terms with our queerness, navigated group sex, and STI convos.  Enjoy!

💨 TLDR;

• 4:19- How We Met
• 14:49- Defining Our Queerness
• 18:30- Opening Up
• 32:27- Sexual Safety and STARS
• 46:52- The Importance of Talking About It

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

📚 Resources mentioned: 

● Evelin Dacker Stars Website- https://www.maketimeforthetalk.com/

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 

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👀 Find Us Online
           - Website
           - Facebook
           - Instagram
Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About Us

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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I am so excited to share with you this conversation with Emily Gindlesparger. Emily is the author of Please Make Me Love Me, an intimate memoir of opening her relationship, coming into a queer identity, forming multiple intense, long-term relationships, and ultimately, learning to live by her own terms. She expresses herself so beautifully and, in this conversation, shares from such a heartfelt place her journey from monogamy to non-monogamy to monogamy, and finding herself along the way. 

Professionally, Emily is a book coach and ghostwriter at Scribe Media, where she helps authors tackle the emotional journey of writing, tap into the wisdom of their experience, and share it with the world. 

💨 TLDR;

• 8:45- Opening up
• 15:43- Finding Safety in Non-Monogamy
• 19:38- Being Honest With Yourself
• 27:12- Making Time For Yourself
• 29:18- Letting Go of Self-Judgement to Live Authentically
• 40:54- Building in Time to Feel Your Feelings

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Emily?
Website: emilygindlesparger.com
Instagram: @emilygindle
Medium: @emilygindlesparger

📚 Books mentioned: 

● Please Make Me Love Me: A Memoir, by Emily Gindelsparger

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👀 Find Us Online
           - Website
           - Facebook
           - Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About Us

Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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This week I am talking to Leah Carey. Leah is a sex and intimacy coach and she's the host of Good Girls Talk About Sex. We talk about her evolution from someone who didn't talk about sex and who was very sexually repressed to someone who talks about sex a lot, very publicly. We also talk a lot about learning to share your needs and she shares her experiences and a tool for you to try at home!

Leah works with people to explore new avenues of their sexuality and fulfill their greatest desires like diving back into the dating pool after a long time away, or having first time queer experiences, or investigating consensual non monogamy or learning how to communicate about kink. Her superpower is radical empathy. She reflects your true sexual nature back to you without judgment, so you can see yourself without shame. 

💨 TLDR;

• 4:41- The Journey to Non Monogamy
• 19:52- The Journey to Sexual Connectedness
• 25:40- The Power of Sex Workers
• 30:48- Recognizing What Works for YOU
• 44:32- Trolls vs. The Uninformed
• 50:29- Tools for Speaking Your Desires

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Leah? 

www.Leahcarey.com
Instagram @goodgirlstalk
Facebook

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia 

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👀 Find Us Online
            - Website
           - Facebook
           - Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

About Us
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, and life in general.

Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

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Today I am giving you a sneak peek into our community Facebook group, also called Nope, We're Not Monogamous and a workshop we had last week! In that workshop, Elizabeth Claire de Lune and I explored boundaries.  We talk about rules and agreements versus boundaries, why we often don't develop a good sense for our boundaries and why safety is important for healthy relationships with yourself and with others. 

Elizabeth Clair de Lune helps humans at all stages of the divorce process - navigating the dissolution, building the resilience and new identity afterwards, and creating what’s next after you’ve found your footing again. She shows you how to harvest the lessons of high conflict, difficult experiences so that you can have the resilient backbone you need to offer your heart fully.

Leave a review and let us know what you think or get exclusives by joining our Patreon.

💨 TLDR;

• 5:43- Boundaries and Agreements vs. Rules
• 11:04- Connecting Your Body with Your Boundaries
• 19:35- Finding the Edges of Your Boundaries
• 29:54- Growing at Hyperspeed in Non-Monogamy
• 32:45- Creating Safety in Non-Monogamous Relationships
• 39:25- Safety vs. Security
• 49:24- The Difference Between Boundaries, Needs, and Wants
• 53:49- Creating Intentional Intimacy

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note.

Want to connect with Elizabeth Clare de Lune on Facebook or her website, www.elizabethclairdelune.com
Class Registration

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👀 Find Us Online
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    - Facebook
    - Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Wal

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237