Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Listen to this episode if you're a non-monogamous parent  or part of a non-traditional family who wants guidance on how to navigate the challenges and celebrate the unique aspects of your family structure. Koe's insights will inspire and empower you to create an environment where your children feel supported, loved, and accepted for who they are.

Koe, a second-generation sex educator, shares her journey growing up in a polyamorous family and provides insights from her intriguing book, This Heart Holds Many: My Life as a Non-Binary Millennial of a Polyamorous Family. Koe's raw and honest storytelling paints a vivid picture of the challenges faced by children in non-monogamous families and how they're navigating societal structures and perceptions.

 Want to connect with Koe Creation?
https://www.koecreation.com
https://www.twitter.com/koecreation

📚 Books mentioned: 

• This Heart Holds Many: My Life as the Non-Binary Millennial of a Polyamorous Family by Koe Creation (You can get a copy of the first edition from Koe’s website)
• Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

This week we have an enlightening conversation with Rich and Siobhan, from the Poly Podcast, about their experiences with non-monogamy. They reveal how they embraced polyamory, nuanced their relationship structure and even broached this subject early in their relationship. They'll also be talking about their podcast, Polypodcasts, giving you a chance to be a part of their extended community.

As we go deeper into their story, we see how non-monogamy, like any other relationship, is a dynamic, evolving entity. Rich and Siobhan share how their relationship has grown over the past 18 months, including the need to explain to new partners that they live together and parent a child. Their insights and experiences provide a fresh perspective on the fluidity of relationships and the importance of revisiting boundaries and rules.

But, like any relationship, we get upfront and personal with the tougher aspects. From managing jealousy, to keeping insecurities at bay, Rich and Siobhan share their journey of love and growth. We also touch upon how they handle the inevitable oddball questions about their relationship and misunderstandings about non-monogamy. Tune in for an episode that takes a deep dive into the realities of non-monogamous relationships and gives you a chance to explore and understand an alternative facet of love and companionship.

Rich and Siobhan are the hosts of The Poly (Pod)Cast where they answer common questions, debunk misconceptions and contribute to the growing conversation around ethical non-monogamy (ENM). They are non-monogamous and live in London, UK. 

Want to connect with Rich and Siobhan?

https://twitter.com/poly_podcast

https://the-poly-podcast.captivate.fm/

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Get ready to embark on an enlightening journey with our guest, Alex Cox, as he gives a candid account of his polyamorous lifestyle. Since 2018, Alex has been navigating the intricacies of multiple partnerships, parenting, writing poetry, and battling PTSD while living a polyamorous life. In our heart-to-heart conversation, he highlights the significance of communication, especially while dating someone who isn't neurodivergent, and the vital role of labels in dictating our lives.

As we chat with Alex, we delve deeper into his story, unpacking his personal transformation, overcoming societal expectations, and embracing his true self. You'll also hear about his journey of shedding labels, exploring masculinity, and managing a non-romantic relationship. Moreover, he shares his inspiring journey of creating a thriving polyamory community. So tune in to our enlightening conversation as we explore polyamory, creativity, and relationships, and uncover an alternative way of experiencing love and life.

Want to connect with Alex?
https://alexcoxblog.com/

📚 Books mentioned: 

• Ethical Slut, by Dossie Heaton and Janet Hardy
• The Jealousy Workbook, by Kathy Labriola
• Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz
• Polyamory Breakup Book, by Kathy Labriola

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

The non-monogamous relationship journey is brimming with complexity and profound self-discovery. This episode opens a window into this world, as we chat with Victor Salmon, who walks us through their journey from their initial exposure to polyamory to their experiences within the BDSM community. Victor offers a fresh perspective on managing jealousy and understanding human connections.

We get real about the intricacies of being a hinge partner and what it means to be a 'unicorn' in the Swinger community. Victor shares the importance of setting boundaries versus people-pleasing, and how trauma can impact relationships. We delve into emotional maturity and celebrate the growth that comes with breaking away from monogamous conditioning.

Finally, we discuss how to set boundaries, understand our own attachment styles, and be sensitive to our partner's needs. By the end of our chat with Victor, you'll be equipped with a wealth of knowledge on crafting healthier, more satisfying relationships, whether you're venturing into polyamory or simply looking to understand it better. 

Victor Salmon, is a beacon of inspiration for those searching for a healthier emotional and relational outlook. Victor's initial exposure to non-hierarchical polyamory and subsequent experiences within the BDSM community have shaped their nurturing approach to emotional well-being. Victor excels at translating complex emotions into relatable insights that encourage self-reflection and cultivate healthier relationships. 

📚 Books mentioned:
Nonviolent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg
Polysecure by Jessica Fern

Connect with Victor
https://intimatevictor.com/resources/podcast/

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, Casey Donatello opens up about the challenges and dynamics of striving for equity in non-monogamous relationships. But just when it seems like they've found the perfect balance, a shocking twist threatens to unravel their carefully built connection. Tune in to find out what happens next.

Meet Casey Donatello, a passionate advocate for boundary pushing and exploring dynamics within non-monogamous relationships. Throughout her personal journey that spans almost two decades, Casey has published three compelling memoirs, navigating the captivating landscape of alternative relationships with a raw, unfiltered perspective. Bridging the gap between fantasy and reality, her experiences enrich her candid discussions on equity, equality and the complex nuances that shape non-monogamous partnerships.

• Gain a fresh perspective on relationships by exploring Casey Donatello's real-world adventures in non-monogamy.
• Discover the indispensable role of open dialogue and trust, extending beyond non-monogamous relationships into all interactions.
• Understand the psychological impact of non-monogamy, providing insights into human vulnerabilities and open discussions on emotional challenges.
• Unwrap the concept of equity versus equality in non-monogamous relationships, setting the stage for thinking outside of traditional relationship norms.
• Empower yourself with effective techniques to navigate through the complexities of non-monogamy, enriching your understanding of emotional intelligence in relationships.

Want to connect with Casey?

• www.caseydonatello.com
• Check out Casey Donatello's Instagram page, In Bed with Strangers, for fascinating and engaging content related to non-monogamous relationships.
• Explore Casey Donatello's three memoirs, which provide an insightful and personal look into the lifestyle of non-monogamy.

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Are you tired of feeling disconnected from yourself and others? What if there was a way to build a unique web of relationships that truly support your well-being and growth? Well, we're here to tell you that it's possible! In my discussion with internationally known author and educator, Lee Harrington, we uncover the secrets to creating intentional, supportive relationships and fostering self-love.

Discover how finding a balance between hyper-independence and codependence can lead to flourishing connections within communities. Lee shares their journey to self-love and self-connection through their new book, Become Your Own Beloved: A Guide to Delighting and Self-Connection. We also dive into the concept of New Relationship Energy, discussing how it can be experienced during various stages of relationships and the courage it takes to embrace new possibilities.

Lastly, we explore the importance of listening to all voices within our relationships, including our own, as we navigate the world of polyamory. Learn how changing our minds can help build relationships more compatible with our lives, and the significance of self-love in these connections. Don't miss this enlightening and inspiring conversation that will leave you with a new perspective on self-love, relationships, and community.

An award-winning author and editor on gender, sexual, and sacred experience, his many books include “Sacred Kink: The Eighfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond,” “Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macrame,” and “Traversing Gender: Understanding Transgender Journeys.” You can check out Lee’s adventures, as well as his podcast, tour schedule, free essays, videos, and more, over at PassionAndSoul.com.

Want to connect with Lee?
PassionandSoul.com
IG:@passionandsoul
FB: passionandsoul

📚 Books mentioned: 

• Become Your Own Beloved, by Lee Harrington
• The Ethical Slut, by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

This week, I am talking with relationship coach, Lucy Price.  Join us as we discuss the power of non-monogamous relationships and the importance of understanding our own feelings and desires before following someone else's lead. Lucy shares her experiences, mistakes, and valuable lessons she learned along the way, highlighting the concept of monogamish relationships and how to navigate open relationships while respecting everyone involved. We also touch on the challenges of finding authenticity in relationships, the impact of unresolved wounds from our past, and the importance of healing and reclaiming power after toxic relationships.

Gain invaluable guidance and learn how to improve your communication, elevate your intimacy, and confidently explore your relationship preferences. Listen now and embrace the journey to better understanding yourself and your relationships!

Want to connect with Lucy? 

www.shiftyourstory.net
IG: @lucy.m.price
TikTok: Lucy.m.price0

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today we are celebrating a major milestone for our podcast, Nope, We're Not Monogamous: our 50th episode! To mark this occasion, I was joined by Danny, my producer, boyfriend and fellow non-monogamous adventurer. As we reminisced about our favorite episodes, we couldn't help but feel grateful for the incredible support we've received from our private Facebook group and Patreon patrons.

Our journey through non-monogamy has been a rollercoaster, and we were excited to revisit episodes that covered topics like decolonizing polyamory, relationship anarchy, overcoming the challenge of being vetoed, and experiencing personal growth through jealousy. We also delved into the complex world of emotions, discussing the importance of jealousy, compersion, and creating a sense of safety when opening up or transitioning into non-monogamy.

We also explored the concept of the 'relationship escalator' and the societal pressure to follow a traditional trajectory in relationships. By taking things slow and avoiding the pitfalls of this prescribed path, we've found that our connections become stronger and more secure. So join us as we celebrate 50 episodes of candid conversations, learning to live life outside the box and embracing the world of non-monogamy!

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Love Shop Toys
Head to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced products

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Today I am speaking with Marie Thouin, a dating and relationship coach with a passion for understanding the intricacies of non monogamous relationships and a PhD researcher on compersion. 

Her experience with questioning the social norms around monogamy led her to exploring alternative relationship dynamics, and conducting research to help others find harmony in their own relationships. We get into what compersion is and the factors that help you achieve it and even block you from it.  You're gonna hear so many good tips around compersion, including how metamours and overcoming jealousy plays into it. 

Dr. Marie Thouin is the founder of Love InSight, a Mindful Dating & Relationship Coaching practice where she helps people of all backgrounds and relationship styles create vibrant & intentional love lives. She is also a leading scholar and researcher on the topic of compersion in consensually non-monogamous relationships. She shares her research on her website, www.whatiscompersion.com.
💨 TLDR;

• What is Compersion?
• What are the Factors in Achieving Compersion?
• How Self-care Effects Compersion
• The Role of Metamour Relationships in Compersion
• Compersion as a Practice
• The Importance of Community
• Why the Word Matters
• Identifying Bottlenecks in Your Relationships
• Compersion is Not an On/Off Switch
• Compersion and Jealousy Can Coexist

Work with Ellecia to go Beyond Jealousy and find your compersive feelings. www.elleciapaine.com/conqueringjealousy

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon!
Want to connect with Marie?
www.loveinsight-dating.com
www.whatiscompersion.com
www.instagram.com/Love_insight_dating 

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!

👀 Find Us Online
           - Website
           - Facebook
           - Instagram

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Love Shop Toys
Head to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced products

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

My guest Christina Dynamite and I  are chatting about  our intimate journeys through non-monogamy and polyamory as we share personal experiences, challenges, and triumphs in navigating their unconventional relationships. We dive deep into relationships, sexuality, and even STIs, offering practical advice and invaluable resources for listeners.

Christina B. Dynamite (she/her) is a vibrant Mental Wellness Coach, Educator, Nurse, and Artist who fiercely believes that being authentically yourself and chasing your passions are non-negotiable needs for a meaningful life.

Dynamite is a human perpetually seeking growth and recovery from trauma, ADHD, addiction, and societal programming including white privilege. She is a bisexual polyamorous kinky queer who rides motorcycles, scuba dives, occasionally performs music & cabaret, and also serves on the board of the Oregon Holistic Nurses Association. She is deeply grateful for the encouragement, support, and love from her wife, 5 cats, 3 dogs, many mentors, muses, and friends.

💨 TLDR;

• Journey to Non-Monogamy
• Building a Non-Monogamous Relationship
• Introducing Metamours
• Destigmatizing STIs and Getting the Right Testing
• Defining Sex and Being Safe
• Recognizing Your Needs and Patterns 
• Making Time for Connection
• Dealing with Jealousy
• Meeting Your Basic Needs
• Finding Your Community
• The Benefits of Therapy
• The Importance of Practicing and Using Communication Tools

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! 

Want to connect with Nurse Dynamite?
IG: @Deenamita http://nursedynamite.com/
https://www.facebook.com/nursedynamitepdx

📚 Books mentioned: 

• Polysecure, by Jessica Fern
• The Ethical Slut, by Janet Hardy

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. If you would like the behind the scenes exclusive content, become a Patron today! www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

Get free shipping on my favorite toys!!

👀 Find Us Online
            - Website
           - Facebook
           - Instagram

Credits
- Host/Producer: Ellecia Paine
- Editor/Producer: Danny Walters
- Hosted on Buzzsprout

Send us Fan Mail

Smells Like Humans
Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Love Shop Toys
Head to loveshoptoys.com/nope and enter code NOPE to save 20% off almost all regular priced products

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website:  https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237