On Attachment

Learning to repair after conflict or ruptures is one of the most valuable relationship skills you'll ever have. But for many of us, meaningful repair isn't something we ever really learned or had modelled. In this episode, we talk about three key components of repair, and how they can help us to transform conflict into deeper understanding, connection, and intimacy.

Links

• Free training on healing anxious attachment
• Attachment styles quiz
• Follow me on Instagram

In today's episode, we're talking about why you struggle to "get over" your ex. This is something so many people struggle with when it comes to break-ups — feeling like the person who left us still occupies so much of our mental and emotional energy, and not knowing how to untether ourselves from them (or perhaps not fully wanting to).

I'll share some thoughts on managing expectations around a break-up, the difference between thoughts and actions, and how you can move through a challenging period with self-respect and dignity.

Links

• Register for my free break-up training here
• Follow me on Instagram
• Visit my website

Join the Secure Self Challenge here

Today's episode is part 3 of my Attachment & Conflict series, and we're talking all about how to transform the way you do conflict. I'll be sharing general tips and mindset shifts for how to approach conflict, as well as specific guidance for both anxious and avoidant partners on what to do (and not to do) to avoid getting pulled into those all-too-familiar negative cycles.

Register for the Secure Self Challenge here

In today's episode, we're talking once again about how attachment patterns shape our experience of conflict in relationships, with a particular focus on avoidant attachment. We talk about why avoidant folks instinctively pull back from conflict, as well as often-used conflict strategies including appeasement, defensiveness, dismissal, and disengagement.

Access the replay for the Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviour workshop

In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm answering the question of: "How do I talk to my partner about their avoidant attachment without them feeling labelled?" I share some thoughts on how best to approach this, and what isn't likely to land well.

Last chance to register for the free Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviour workshop

Today's episode is the fourth and final instalment of my deep dive series into fearful avoidant attachment, and this episode is one for the partners (with a focus on anxiously attached partners).

I share guidance around how to be mindful of your own tendency to overfunction, and how this can lead you into codependent dynamics. I also offer some thoughts on how best to lovingly support your fearful avoidant partner, while also honouring yourself and ensuring there is accountability around any difficult behaviours in the relationship.

Links

• Visit my website: stephanierigg.com
• Free resources for anxious attachment: stephanierigg.com/free-resources

When you've had a string of heartbreaks, disappointments, and bad dating experiences, remaining hopeful can be a big ask of your system. In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on why forcing yourself to feel hopeful might not be the thing you need, and why it might be best to give yourself the time to grieve, reflect, and grow before forcing yourself back into the dating arena.

Register for my Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviour Workshop

Subscribe to my Substack

For many of us who struggle with letting go (and tend towards relationship-fixing at all costs), walking away can feel like a measure of absolute last resort — like almost nothing would justify the immense and all-consuming pain of having to let go of someone you love. And when you layer in self-doubt and a deep fear of regret, it can feel next to impossible.

Sadly, it’s not a decision anyone but you can make. But there are absolutely ways to make the decision a clearer one — one that you trust in the rightness of, and can confidently stand behind — even if it doesn’t make it any easier.

Register for the free workshop on Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviours: https://stephanierigg.com/protest-workshop-opt-in

Register for my upcoming live workshop here

In today's Ask Steph episode, I'm answering the question of "How long to keep pursuing a connection with someone who's great and ticks all my boxes — except that I'm not physically attracted to them?"

I share some thoughts on why this can happen — particularly if your attraction template has historically gravitated towards inconsistent and unpredictable connections — and how long you should wait and see before calling it.

Register for my upcoming free workshop on Anxious Attachment Protest Behaviours

In this new series on attachment and conflict, we're exploring the deeper layers that make relational conflict so challenging, and how we can shift those patterns. This first instalment is all about the anxious attachment experience of conflict: how we can swing between conflict-avoidance and conflict-pursuit, and how our efforts at safeguarding the connection can backfire.

Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss the rest of the series!

Links

• Free resources for anxious attachment: stephanierigg.com/free-resources
• Subscribe to my Substack: https://stephanierigg.substack.com/
• Subscribe to my Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmxC4jls4uolRKhFWV_RIoA/