In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on the listener question of "Is it wrong to hope my partner will change?" Wanting to change a partner is something most of us will relate to in one form or another, but it's essential that we understand where this urge is coming from and what it's trying to tell us about ourselves, our partner, and the relationship. 

Some of the things we cover:

• wanting to change little things vs big things
• how anxious and avoidant attached people differ in wanting to change their partner
• changes that relate to core relationship needs
• my advice when you're hoping they'll change without any signs that they want to

Highlighted Resources

• Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only!
• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

Are you someone who tends to go from 0 to 100 at the start of a new relationship? In today's episode, we're exploring how to not lose yourself when you start dating someone new (although the advice also applies to people already in an established relationship who feel they've lost touch with themselves). This dynamic is particularly common among those with an anxious attachment style, who tend to become overly fixated on a connection at the expense of other areas of life.

Tune in for tips on how to pace yourself in the early stages of a relationship so that you can deepen into a connection in a balanced, sustainable way that sets you up for long-term security and success. 

Highlighted Resources

• Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only!
• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm sharing some reflections from my recent experience of pregnancy and birth on self-trust, control and surrender. These are themes that most folks with insecure attachment patterns struggle with, and learning to trust in your capacity to navigate life's ups and downs with confidence and agency is a huge step on the path to building secure attachment. 

For more episodes on building trust, check out:

• Ep 130: The Pillars of a Healthy Relationship with Self 
• Ep 124: On Trust, Risk & Vulnerability
• Ep 111: The Pillars of Trust & Trustworthiness

Highlighted Resources

• Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only!
• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on how to navigate a partner pulling away. If you're someone with anxious attachment patterns, a partner's withdrawal or disengagement can feel extremely distressing - and yet, many of our go-to strategies for managing that distress can ironically have the effect of pushing someone further away. 

We'll cover:

• what to do when someone pulls away in an early dating context
• why we feel drawn to pursuing connections with people who are inconsistent 
• how to navigate a partner repeatedly leaving and coming back
• what to do when a long-term partner is emotionally withdrawn or distant

Highlighted Resources

• Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only!
• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about self-soothing and anxious attachment. For most anxiously attached folks, self-soothing and self-regulation can be a real struggle. This typically shows up as an over-reliance on others (often a partner) to be our sole source of safety and reassurance when we experience emotional distress, and an accompanying sense of helplessness and panic if and when they are not available to perform that role. 

We'll cover:

• why anxiously attached people struggle to self-regulate
• how an inability to self-soothe impacts our relationships
• mindset shifts and practices to start building your self-soothing toolkit

⭐️ Last chance to sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment ⭐️ 

Highlighted Resources

• Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only!
• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

This episode is part two of a two-part series on 20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style.  I'm going to be running through some of the less obvious expressions of the anxious attachment style, as well as the underlying drivers of these patterns.

⭐️ JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT ⭐️

Highlighted Resources

• Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only!
• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

Today's episode is part one of a two-part series on 20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style.  I'm going to be running through some of the less obvious expressions of the anxious attachment style, as well as the underlying drivers of these patterns.

⭐️ JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT ⭐️

Highlighted Resources

• Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only!
• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by James "Fish" Gill to talk all things conflict and conscious communication. Fish is a coach, teacher and facilitator whose work offers a compassionate paradigm for relating to and transforming moments of conflict in all of our relationships. 

We cover:

• why we so easily end up in conflict and opposition with people we love
• how we unconsciously escalate conflict 
• using compassion and curiosity to understand someone else's perspective
• holding both positive intention and unintended impact as true
• reframing defensiveness, withdrawal and other assumed ill-intent...

...and so much more!

Learn more about Fish's work:

• On Instagram: @james_fish_gill
• Visit his website: leadbyheart.com

Highlighted Resources

• Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only!
• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In this week's episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel and we're exploring some common misconceptions about avoidant attachment. Avoidant attachment is frequently misunderstood and misrepresented in a lot of online content, and it's so important to me to dispel some of those portrayals and offer something more humanising and more honest about what's going on for avoidant folks.

We cover misconceptions around:

• avoidant people not wanting to be in relationships
• avoidant people only caring about themselves
• avoidant people never experiencing anxiety in their relationships
• avoidant people being unable to change

Highlighted Resources

• Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only!
• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by Julie Menanno. Julie is a couples therapist, best known for her hugely popular instagram account @thesecurerelationship where she offers nuanced and insightful takes on attachment dynamics and how couples can overcome negative cycles to build secure relationships. She has just released her first book, Secure Love, which offers couples a roadmap for building thriving relationships that last. 

Our conversation covers a lot of ground, including:

• a deeper look at the fear of abandonment in anxious attachment
• key challenges of avoidant attachment
• negative cycles in anxious-avoidant relationships
• what to do when one partner doesn't want to go to therapy
• the importance of validating your partner's emotions (even if you disagree with their position)
• Julie's tips (as a mum of 6!) for raising secure kids

Buy Julie's book Secure Love on Amazon
Follow Julie on Instagram @thesecurerelationship
Visit Julie's website

Highlighted Resources

• Save 30% on Healing Anxious Attachment - this week only!
• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE)
• Save 50% on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX
• Visit my website