Permission for Pleasure

Therapist Sam Tielemans and I continue the conversation about pornography and specifically how it can affect relationships. We discuss the feelings women often experience when they discover their partner uses porn and why dealing with this issue alone is so difficult. Then we offer practical ways for couples to get started communicating as well as ideas for moving toward healing.

Sam Tielemans is a licensed marriage and family therapist that specializes in helping couples overcome the effect of unhealthy porn use in their relationship, to rebuild trust, and improve their sexual intimacy.

Learn more about Sam's work:
Coupleshealing.org

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Therapist Sam Tielemans joins me to discuss why we need to talk about pornography, not only in our relationships but also as parents with our kids. Part one of this conversation includes: information about unhealthy usage of pornography and that it usually isn’t about sex, what the average age of a child’s exposure is to porn (5:21), and how lies and deception break the attachment bond which may possibly cause betrayal trauma (8:25). We role play how to navigate the discussion with a partner and prompts to get you started (16:20).

Sam Tielemans is a licensed marriage and family therapist that specializes in helping couples overcome the effect of unhealthy porn use in their relationship, to rebuild trust, and improve their sexual intimacy.

Learn more about Sam's work:
Coupleshealing.org

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Jessica Lorion experienced a debilitating autoimmune disease that impacted her body image, intimacy, and relationship. It also detoured her desire to start a family. We talk together about her health and relationship journey, her positive pivot of starting a community, and our shared passion of supporting pregnant women and aspiring moms on their journey into motherhood.

Learn more about Mamas in Training
Listen to Sex and Pregnancy
Listen to Sex and Postpartum

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I’m answering your community questions. One woman wants to know why arousal takes so long, if it’s normal and tips to help (0:55). Another listener asks about how to start role play in the bedroom without feeling awkward (3:57). Then I offer some sexy tips for a couple that says putting on a condom is ruining their mood (8:30).

Learn more about these topics:
The Key to Female Pleasure
Speeding up arousal
When my partner wants to try something new
SSRI’s and your sex life
Guide to Lube

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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Have you heard your vagina stretches out if you have a lot of sex? Or that kegels are the answer to all your pelvic floor issues? How about the one that a vaginal delivery ruins your sex life? Heather Jeffcoat returns to the podcast for a round of true or false about common sexual health myths. We also offer advice for first intercourse; dilator use and period problems. In this episode you’ll learn the facts to help you advocate for your sexual health.

Heather Jeffcoat, DPT is a recognized expert in the field of improving women’s health through physical therapy and President of The Academy of Pelvic Health Physical Therapy.

Learn more about Heather’s work here: www.fusionwellnesspt.com

Visit our episode sponsor Soul Source and use code CINDY15 for 15% of dilators

Learn More About These Topics
Vibrators
Pain & Sex
Lube
Sex Without Pain Book
Body After Baby
Sex After Baby
Talking With a Provider About Sexual Health
Tips From My Pelvic Floor Therapist

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Miscarriage or infertility is often the first medical crisis young couples face and finding intimacy through these times can pose some unique challenges. Dr. Jacqueline Sherman shares her personal story as well as specific ideas to help couples navigate the journey. You'll learn ways to connect with your feelings, your partner, and tips to reframe your sex life for more intimacy and connection.


Dr. Jacqueline Sherman is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Intimacy and Relationship Coach. www.drjac.co

Learn more about these topics

Mindfulness
Book Review: Better Sex Through Mindfulness
Talking with a partner about sex
Pleasurable Touch Practice

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PART TWO: It can feel uncomfortable asking for what you want in bed. The good news is that talking with a partner about sex is a skill you can learn. In this episode, our conversation with Meygan Caston continues as she shares how communication saved her sex life. In part two, she takes things to the next level by asking for a ‘pleasure gift’ on her 10-year wedding anniversary. You’ll hear more of her tips and strategies for talking about sex with a partner, and will be encouraged to give yourself permission for pleasure.

Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365.
www.marriage365.com

Learn more about these topics
Meygan’s Episode in Season One
Talking with a partner about sex
Sexual Communication
When a partner wants to try something new
Vibrators
Book Recommendation for Oral Sex

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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PART ONE: When things aren’t going so great in the bedroom, communication may be what you need to turn things around. Research shows that talking about sex is one of the strongest predictors of sexual satisfaction. In this episode, Meygan Caston joins us as our first repeat guest on the podcast. This time, she shares the story of how she learned to talk about sex with her partner,  and offers us the communication tips and strategies she gathered as they transformed their sex life from really bad - to really good.

Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365.
www.marriage365.com

Learn more about these topics
Meygan’s Episode in Season One
Talking with a partner about sex
Sexual Communication
When a partner wants to try something new
Vibrators
Book Recommendation for Oral Sex

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Foreplay should be all day! I like to think of foreplay as connection building activities rather than just a lead up to sex. Connection certainly doesn't start in the bedroom. Foreplay can be tender, playful, and erotic. In this quickie episode, I offer some specific ideas to intentionally use each of your senses to increase pleasure and get creative with connection. It is said that variety is the spice of life, so let's get curious, have fun, and get spicy!

Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use code CINDY


Learn more about these topics:

• Lube
• Touch Exercise
• Maude (code CINDY10)
• Creating a Sexy Playlist
• Make Some Noise
• Using your Senses for Pleasure

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Dr. Rossana Sida joins me for a conversation about her work with survivors and those who care for them. We discuss common challenges of recovery, options for those seeking help, language to use with recovering partners, and navigating ongoing consent. You are never alone in the continuing work of healing and recovery. Whether you are a survivor, in a relationship with one, or desire to understand how to best care for someone else, you’ll find some tools here for healing and hope.

Dr. Rossana Sida is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in sex and relationships with a special interest in the intersection of female sexuality and sexual abuse.

Learn more about Rossana’s work:
www.togethernesstherapy.com

Learn more about these topics
Pleasure after trauma
Our bodies and trauma
Painful Sex

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog