Permission for Pleasure

Dr. Rossana Sida joins me for a conversation about her work with survivors and those who care for them. We discuss common challenges of recovery, options for those seeking help, language to use with recovering partners, and navigating ongoing consent. You are never alone in the continuing work of healing and recovery. Whether you are a survivor, in a relationship with one, or desire to understand how to best care for someone else, you’ll find some tools here for healing and hope.

Dr. Rossana Sida is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in sex and relationships with a special interest in the intersection of female sexuality and sexual abuse.

Learn more about Rossana’s work:
www.togethernesstherapy.com

Learn more about these topics
Pleasure after trauma
Our bodies and trauma
Painful Sex

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In this episode, I talk with Dr. Shannon Chavez. We explore the importance of curiosity, consent, and communication, and then we unpack a few topics from my community question box about vibrators, edging, and anal sex.

• Edging tips for slowing things down and building arousal.
• Vibrators -why they work for women and healthy practices
• Anal sex: yes or no? Basics about consent, lube and safety.

Shannon Chavez, PsyD, CST is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with a private practice, SHAPE (Sexual Health and Pleasure Enhancement) Center in Beverly Hills, California.
 
Learn more about Shannon’s work:
Drshannonchavez.com

Learn more about these topics
Edging
Vibrators
Lube
Butt plugs

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Join me and my friend Heather for an episode in our “Let’s Go Girls” series where members of our community share their stories and we explore what women have learned about sex, their bodies, and pleasure. We discuss the facts, challenges and freedom of midlife and menopause. Listen to learn, laugh, get prepared and feel less alone in whatever stage of womanhood you find yourself.

Visit our episode sponsor COCONU and receive 15% off your order with code: Pleasure

Learn more about these topics:
Sex and Pain
Lube
Erectile Dissatisfaction vs Erectile Dysfunction

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Sheila Wray Gregoire and her team conducted a study of 20,000 women to determine what makes sex great for some and less satisfying for others, along with rates of sexual pain. In this episode we discuss what these women had to say and find out how significant cultural narratives are on our desire styles and arousal as women. What started out as a chat about female arousal, quickly turned into a thought-provoking conversation around how our mindset impacts female arousal. Let’s all start asking Sheila’s question: “What wants to be touched right now?”

Learn more about Sheila's work
ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com

Learn more about these topics
Pain and Sex
Desire Styles
The Key To Female Pleasure
Mental Load
Listening to Your Body

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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Did you know your brain is your most important sex organ?! This quickie episode is an introduction to the roll your brain plays in sexual response. There is a two-part system, an accelerator and a brake. A lot of people think there might be something wrong with their ON or accelerator, but most often the issues are with your OFF or brake. Listen and learn about questions to ask yourself that will help you to investigate what might be turning you ON or OFF.

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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“Attention training through mindfulness may be part of the recipe for cooking up sexual desire.” Dr. Lori Brotto and I continue our conversation about desire. Part Two gets practical, providing helpful tools to cultivate desire. Our discussion includes: the power of attention training and mindfulness, why sexual communication is essential, and the value of variety in encouraging arousal and desire in women.

Dr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and a Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada. She is the Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute of BC, director of the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire.

Read my book review of Dr. Brotto's book

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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Do you want to know how sexual desire actually works and how to cultivate it? Dr. Lori Brotto shares the research-based truth about desire in this two-part episode. Part One includes the causes of low desire, and the things that affect it.  If you thought  it was all about the hormones,  Brotto says, “Mood, sense of well-being, body image, self-esteem, and how a woman feels about her partner turned out to be far stronger predictors of her level of sexual desire than a single hormone.” What you hear in this conversation might literally transform your sex life! 

Dr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and a Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada. She is the Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute of BC, director of the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire.

Read my  book review of Dr. Brotto's book

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Silence is the enemy of sexual health education and most people go through life experiencing this silence. Join Dr. Kristen Mark and I for a discussion about why sex education really matters for our children, for adults, and for all of us throughout our lifespan. We can never truly have enough education about sexuality because we are constantly changing, as are our bodies and relationships. You’ll hear what the data shows about comprehensive sex education, how couples can navigate sexual difficulties, and the importance of pleasure as part of the conversation!

Kristen Mark, PhD, MPH, CSE  is the Joycelyn Elders endowed chair in sexual health education and tenured professor at the Institute for Sexual and Gender Health in the University of Minnesota Medical School.
www.kristenmark.com
theabstinenceproject.com

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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Welcome 2022 and Season Two! This podcast is designed to help women express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. We’ll be having more rich conversations with experts, plenty of sexual health education, and a whole lot of learning how to talk about sex. This community is a place where you will hear good education, gain confidence, and be prompted to open your own conversations about all things sexual health. Cheers to  giving ourselves permission for pleasure!

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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A bonus episode all about orgasms! We have combined a few highlights of the many conversations we have had about the Big O in Season One. From faking them to ranking them, this remix is full of facts and healthy reframes for learning to experience more pleasure. Thank you for being a part of this podcast community, and please follow the show on your favorite listening platform. Cheers to the New Year and giving yourself more permission for pleasure!

Episodes 1, 2, 9, 11 & 19

Featured Guests:
Dr. Laurie Mintz -  Episode 2 (3:39)
Dr. Erica Marchand - Episode 9 (5:14)
Dr. Uchenna Ossai  Episode 11 (9:11)

www.cindyscharkey.com

ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog