Polycurious

In the last episode of Monocurious we interview Tory and Jackson, a couple living in at Lightning Society, a co-living residence and event space in Brooklyn. 

Today Tory and Jackson give us a crash course on non-sexual intimacy. Tory tells us why she decided to remain single for most of her twenties, focusing on her independence and building intimate friendships. Jackson, on the other hand, fell into one monogamous relationship after the other, and often felt he lost himself in them. But meeting Tory helped him realize that they could maintain their independence by having their non-sexual needs met by a community of friends. Today’s conversation shows how solid and special their relationship is because they don’t rely completely on each other for all of their needs.

The Monocurious miniseries explores the question: What does monogamy look like in the 21st century? Our relationship dynamics are shifting. Even for people choosing to remain exclusive, monogamy doesn’t look like it used to. Subscribe to the podcast to listen to 3 episodes where you’ll hear from people who are consciously choosing monogamy instead of blindly following convention.

In today's episode, we discuss dating culture, the various contrasts in experience men and women have, as well as some hot tips on communicating expectations after a first date. Tory recently moved to NYC from San Francisco, for work and to find partnership with a Jewish woman. Ava, our Monocurious co-host, has lived & dated in NYC for 8+ years. Tory and Ava share how their family, culture, and their own experiences with open dynamics influenced their desire to be monogamous at this stage of their life. 

The Monocurious miniseries explores the question: What does monogamy look like in the 21st century? Our relationship dynamics are shifting. Even for people choosing to remain exclusive, monogamy doesn’t look like it used to. Subscribe to the podcast to listen to 3 episodes where you’ll hear from people who are consciously choosing monogamy instead of blindly following convention.

Sue & Jon became exclusive not long after their first date and married exactly one year after they met. When we joined them late last year, they were just six weeks away from having a baby. Despite going down what might seem a very conventional path (getting married, buying a house, having a baby), they are welcoming and understanding of the alternative paths many of their friends have taken. In their own words, they are “a floating island of monogamy in a sea of fluidity." And although they remain monogamous, being in an open community inspired them to allow space for their independence and focus on building trust and communication. 

The Monocurious miniseries explores the question: What does monogamy look like in the 21st century? Our relationship dynamics are shifting. Even for people choosing to remain exclusive, monogamy doesn’t look like it used to. Subscribe to the podcast to listen to 3 episodes where you’ll hear from people who are consciously choosing monogamy instead of blindly following convention.

Grab your ticket for "Monogamy, Non-monogamy and Everything in Between: a Dinner & Discussion" on Friday Dec 16th here (or by copy pasting the link below)

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/monogamy-non-monogamy-everything-in-between-a-dinner-discussion-tickets-482764219777

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In our season finale, I speak to Mariah (the occasional co-host of the podcast) about the story of how we grew to be best friends who occasionally play.

We also give you an update on where we are in our relationships and exploration of non-monogamy. I talk about how a deeper level of engagement with someone I am dating is teaching me to prioritize my primary partner and making me reflect on the boundary between non-monogamy and polyamory. Mariah talks about her relationship with her primary partner and about how their exploration of non-monogamy has been difficult for them.

Episodes mentioned:

E 12 - Fer & Seth: Monogamy in a Non-monogamous Relationship

E13 - Mariah: Coming out as Polyamorous and Changing Partners (Season Finale)

E16 - Queer Dating Coach Ariella Serur: Dating as a Newly Queer Person and New Relationship Energy

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In this episode, I speak to Ari and Jeshua, a polyamorous couple that has been together for 2.5 years. In our conversation, we talk about their experiences dating people together and separately, their growth from secondary relationships, and their polyamorous community. We also have an interesting conversation about expressing your feelings for other people to your primary partner. Lastly, Jeshua shares how being polyamorous has enabled him to explore his bisexuality.

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In this episode, I chat with Marcela, also known as thehypnoqueen. Marcela tells us about her shared sexual and romantic experiences with her former partner Brad, including forming a beautiful triad with another woman. Marcela also tells us how Brad and she decided to separate after over 4 years of being together and how they are approaching this new phase of their relationship.

Follow Marcela on Instagram @thehypnoqueen

Book: Close Your Eyes, Get Free: Use Self-Hypnosis to Reduce Stress, Quit Bad Habits, and Achieve Greater Relaxation and Focus

Book a free exploratory coaching session with me ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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In this episode I chat with Valentin (Awake and Sexy on Instagram,) an Internal Family Systems-trained Intimacy Coach & Guide.

In this conversation we talk about Valentin’s own struggles with anxiety and intimacy and how they led him to delve into several mindfulness techniques and to leave his corporate job to start Awake and Sexy. We talk about Neo-tantra, MDMA therapy, and briefly touch on Internal Family Systems. Valentin also gives us great advice on how to communicate desires. Lastly, we discuss ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ dynamics.

Book a free exploratory coaching session with me ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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Connect with Valentin:

Awake and Sexy Instagram

awakeandsexy.com

Book: No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model

Sex with Emily Yes, No, Maybe List: Find New Ways to Play

Book: Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

A common challenge couples who start opening up face is realizing that they have different ideas of what that actually means. In this special episode we listen back to some guests from the first season who had different desires or faced an imbalance in the way they approached non-monogamy.

Guests from Season 1 included in this episode:

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https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

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Carol and David have been in a polyamorous relationship for about eight years. In this conversation, we chat about their boundaries evolving from a three page document to simply having to check in with one another. They share some of the difficulties that they experienced as they navigated having more than one serious romantic partner. We talk about an accidental breach of trust and about how that experience taught them to communicate better.

Book a free exploratory coaching session with me ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

https://calendly.com/fernandafabian/30min

Join my ⁠Patreon⁠

https://www.patreon.com/c/Polycurious

Visit our website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠polycurious.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Our email is [email protected]

Follow Polycurious on:

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