Kindness is actually a fairly complicated construct. It is not synonymous with being nice. Being nice isn't always kind, and being kind isn't always nice. The issue is that there are two faces of kindness, and one without the other is pathological. In this episode, I use concrete examples to demonstrate how kindness without loving honesty is typically a form of enabling that does more harm than good.

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com

#kindness #emotions #psychology

In turns out that both men and women are capable of loyalty, though each group tends to remain loyal to different things. Whereas men are typically loyal to their duties, women are typically loyal to their feelings. It is what it is. Accepting this reality can help men and women have more harmonious and rewarding relationships with each other. Each other holds out a growth opportunity for the other, which I will discuss at the end of the episode.

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com

#loyalty #relationship #dating

In this episode, I discuss my simplified framework of human motivation: cats and cheese. Cheese is an anticipated reward associated with pleasure or fulfillment that we approach; cats are anticipated punishments associated with pain or loss that we avoid. If you understand the relative intensity and distribution of the cats and cheese in a person's perception, then you can actually predict their behavior fairly accurately at any given moment in time. Further consequences of this understanding are duly examined.

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com

#motivation #success #psychology

From a woman's perspective, a man's emphasis on her sexual history may be somewhat baffling. After all: that was then, and this is now. What does what I did before we met have anything to do with our current relationship? A lot, it turns out. In this episode, I will help women understand why men tend to place so much importance on women's previous sexual behavior with other men.

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: https://stellargre.com.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California. Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others. See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations. Website: https://oriontarabanpsyd.com

#dating #relationship #sex

Being the target of malicious gossip can be difficult. I've learned this the hard way. If it happens to you, it's important to not make things more difficult for yourself than they already are. In this episode, I'll discuss three tips to navigate this situation more effectively. They're not easy pills to swallow, but they can help you find some measure of peace in a difficult circumstance.

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans.

#gossip #aggressive #relationship

Contentment is the practice of turning toward the present moment and accepting it as sufficient. However, when I teach this to folks, the most common objection I hear is: "But, Orion, my present moment isn't sufficient. That's the problem! There are things that I want that I don't yet have." Fair enough. That said, I believe that the practice of contentment is perfectly compatible with goal-directed action. I'll explain how in this episode.

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans.

#happy #psychology #mindfulness

Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans.

In my previous episode, I discussed the importance of side hustles. In this episode, I'm going to tell the story of one of my businesses, a test prep company called StellarGRE. In the span of ten years, I went from living in public housing and putting up flyers to earning six-figures in my spare time. This was the first stage in reclaiming my life. With unwavering discipline and the right model for action, we are all capable of great things.

#hustle #business #success

Most people give the best hours of most of the days of the best years of their lives to their jobs, and then content themselves with the crumbs left at their own tables. To reclaim your life, you must reclaim your time, and this ultimately depends on divorcing your time from your income. The first step in this process is developing multiple income streams, and you can start with a side hustle. In this episode, I give practical, actionable advice on how to get started.

#hustle #money #success

Action is required because, if we do nothing, things fall apart. So goal-directed behavior is part and parcel of the human experience. However, in the near-infinite domain of human action, there are really only two goals, two avenues for all our efforts: we can either do something that we're not, or not do something that we are. Everything else is bluster, because (at heart) all goals are behavioral.

#goals #success #psychology

"Cancer cures neurosis," is a quote from the great psychotherapist, Irvin Yalom, who (like me) got his start as a psychologist working with cancer patients. Among other things, he meant that a real problem tends to put things in perspective for folks. In this episode, I discuss how the core of neurosis is conflating a fake problem with a real problem, and how those who are actively dying tend to get very busy living.

#cancer #psychology #health