In a previous podcast, I discussed how there are really only two ways to go about dating: you can hunt or you can fish. In this episode, I'll be talking about hunting: what it is and how to do it well. This is an approach that generally works better the higher your standardized sexual marketplace value; however, everyone can improve their skills in this regard. Listen to the episode to learn more.

#dating #hunting #relationships

According to recent statistics, women are anywhere from one-and-a-half to three times more likely to seek out mental health services in a given 12-month period than men are. This means that between 60-75% of psychotherapy patients at any given time are women. Why might this be the case? In this episode, I will discuss my pet theory on the subject, which describes how several historical factors conspired to enshrine certain biases in the theory and practice of psychotherapy that continue to exude their influence today.

#therapy #psychology #gendergap

The word "conviction" has a mystery inside of it that is revealed by examining its etymological origins. It comes from the Latin words "con," meaning "with," and "vincere," meaning "to conquer." "Conviction" literally means "with conquering," or -- perhaps more felicitously -- "with victory." But victory over what? I'll discuss more in this episode.

#conviction #victory #confidence

Luck is not necessarily just the chaotic, random element of chance that pervades the universe. It's a factor over which you can have some measure of influence. The Roman philosopher, Seneca, tells us how: "luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." Therefore, in order to improve your luck, you need to (a) prepare and (b) create opportunities. I'll discuss what that might look like in the context of dating in this episode.

#luck #opportunity #dating

Core emotional wounds are psychic injuries inflicted in the context of one's primary attachment relationships. That means that they are generally formed in relationship with one's parents in childhood. These wounds come in two general flavors: "I'm not good enough" and "I'm not lovable." The pain of these wounds can distort the lens of subjectivity, such that one's very perceptions of oneself, other people, and the world become distorted. And, if unaddressed, they can give rise to a host of compensatory behaviors designed to "bargain" with the world for what they did not receive in appropriate quantities when they were younger.

#attachment #cognition #psychology

As people move through life, they are subject to experiencing great pain, suffering, and trauma. And the healthy response to these experiences is to withdraw from and avoid further contact with them. The problem is that these experiences exist in reality -- so withdrawing from and avoiding contact with them also means withdrawing from and avoiding reality. And withdrawing from and avoiding reality can create its own pain, suffering, and trauma. Enter mental illness: it is a compromise solution that enables the individual to avoid pain and suffering as much as possible while avoiding the reality in which they exist as little as possible.

#mentalhealth #mentalillness #psychopathology

In this episode, I talk about a realization that I had many years ago with respect to my competitiveness and drive. If misapplied -- that is, if applied toward the general enrichment of someone else -- these otherwise positive qualities can become a trap. To the extent that you are not yet your own master, you are still someone else's slave -- and excelling in that role is not necessarily in your best interests.

#competition #ambition #slave

A company that blames and shames its customer base for not parting with its hard-earned money is arrogant and misguided. It's a bad business that blames its customers. If a company is not yet enjoying the success it would prefer to enjoy in the marketplace, it has a problem with its marketing, a problem with its product, or both. This is a lesson easily generalizable to dating and relationships. If you are not yet enjoying the success you would prefer to enjoy in the sexual marketplace, you have a problem with your marketing, a problem with your product, or both.

#business #dating #accountability

The title says it all: if you punish the truth, you're asking to be lied to. And why is that? Because expecting other people to prioritize honesty irrespective of the social, financial, or relational consequences of doing so is asking too much of people. If the truth is met with hostility, indignation, or ostracization, most people will never make the mistake of being honest with you again. And this puts you at a significant disadvantage by infusing your relationships with unreality.

#truth #lies #relationships

The three goals of human interaction is a concept developed by Marsha Linehan for her dialectal behavior therapy module on interpersonal effectiveness. According to Linehan, there are really only three goals humans can have when interacting with others: effectiveness, harmony, and self-respect. Ideally, all three goals are (more or less) met in the course of our interactions; however, sometimes this isn't practically possible. Linehan advocates the conscious and strategic prioritization of one goal over the others in these cases. I'll discuss more in this episode.

#dbt #relationships #communication