"Cancer cures neurosis," is a quote from the great psychotherapist, Irvin Yalom, who (like me) got his start as a psychologist working with cancer patients. Among other things, he meant that a real problem tends to put things in perspective for folks. In this episode, I discuss how the core of neurosis is conflating a fake problem with a real problem, and how those who are actively dying tend to get very busy living.

#cancer #psychology #health

In today's day and age, I still encounter women who lament the decline of chivalry. To some extent, I can appreciate their complaint as the end of certain social niceties. However, what these ladies don't seem to appreciate is the extent to which the unfreedom of women served as the rationale for chivalric action, and that a damsel must first be locked up in a tower in order to be saved. Otherwise, the whole chivalric effort becomes a ridiculous farce.

#romantic #dating #relationship

Envy is one of the most destructive emotions we are subject to experiencing, and it its invisibility makes it particularly insidious. However, like any other emotion, it can be dismantled by understanding the necessary conditions from which it arises. My working definition of envy is that it is a perceived deficit relative to a self-relevant good relative to a perceived equal. This is somewhat complex, but I break down how this awareness can be used to neutralize the emotion.

#psychology #emotions #envy

To celebrate Christmas, let's take a closer look at one of Jesus's teachings: the admonition to turn the other cheek. This teaching has been interpreted in many ways over the ages, and I'm going to offer another one. It's one that, I believe, accord very nicely with a nuanced understanding of human psychology. In this episode, I explain how turning the other cheek functionally places aggression on an extinction protocol by divesting aggression of its reinforcement mechanism.

#jesus #peace #psychology

Self-esteem is the belief that, all things being equal, you're a worthwhile person. It's related to self-confidence, but it's technically a separate construct. Unfortunately, many folks out there struggle with low self-esteem, and don't think very highly of themselves (even if they're otherwise successful). Fortunately, there is a simple way to improve your self-esteem. It's a two-step process, and I'll outline both in this episode.

#selflove #selfesteem #selfconfidence

The single best predictor of whether a person will benefit from psychotherapy is how miserable the person is when he first presents for treatment. And on some level, this makes sense. While life can always get worse, if you're going through a particularly difficult moment, it's actually more likely to improve if you make a change. This is called regression toward the mean. However, it works the other way as well. In this episode, I discuss the trap of a B- life.

#success #blackjack #risk

Growing up, I often heard the saying: "if something is worth doing, it's worth doing well." And this certainly has some truth to it. Some activities shouldn't even be approached without a commitment to excellence at the outset. However, as I've gotten older, I've come to see this adage from a different perspective. I discuss what that is -- and its repercussions -- in this episode.

#selfimprovement #success #achievement

The internet abounds with advice for men looking to become more dominant, more alpha. And almost all of this advice includes directives to get bigger, get stronger. While this is certainly a worthwhile goal, this direction can do men a disservice by equating physical presence with dominance. This is not the case. Dominance is psychological, not physical. And you already know this is true. The contest for dominance is fought on the psychological field in society. So do not neglect this important reality.

#alpha #redpill #men

Without conscious intention, women are making society increasingly polygamous. This is a provocative statement, but some of the data bear it out. According to the General Social Survey, one in three men under 30 have not had sex in the previous year -- while only one in six women under 30 have done the same. This creates a ratio of 5 sexually active women to 4 sexually active men in this important age group. Put another way: about 20% of women under 30 are in a polygamous relationship -- whether they're aware of it or not.

#dating #polygamy #women

I really dislike the phrase "my needs aren't being met." Not only does this obscure the truth, but it propagates a potentially dangerous lie in its place. A relationship in which a person's needs aren't being met is abusive; however, people in abusive relationship don't say that they're needs aren't being met. They say they are in an abusive relationship. So what does this phrase really mean? I'll discuss more in this episode.

#needs #wants #relationship