A TikToker has revealed her marriage ended because her husband’s “package” was literally too big to handle. We’re talking two Coke cans stacked on top of each other big.

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The Louvre’s been caught using one of the dumbest passwords in history, and we cannot stop laughing about it. Turns out, the world’s most famous art museum was hacked because their password was literally… Louvre.

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Gordon Ramsey’s dishing out restaurant warnings – avoid “famous” menus, skip overstuffed burgers, and maybe even question your starter. Dorit Kemsley landed in Melbourne and gave us an Aussie radio exclusive, revealing her epic Vic Beckham fits, her ultra-specific cocktail order (“cemetery of carcasses”) and trying (sort of) an Aussie accent on the barbie. Jelly Roll nearly got treated like a criminal at Sydney Louis Vuitton. In The Glossys, Sia hosted Kathy Griffin’s birthday with a cheeky bathroom-adjacent seating plan, Meghan Markle’s back in acting, Khloé is over the Skims thong drama, and NSYNC can’t agree on their movie. Joel threw down a Lego flower challenge, and Ricki had strong opinions on Scooter Braun’s gross shoes while Sydney Sweeney smooches in NYC.

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Shaboozey popped in for a chaotic game of Quick Draw with Ricky and Blackers — and he came in hot, talking mics, Woodford and Coke, and why the Wild West would’ve been his era. Things got rowdy fast as he tried to take Ricky down, but she wasn’t backing off (and definitely wasn’t staying seated). Between Jelly Roll shoutouts and arguments about whether “bourbon” is a capital city, this one’s pure cowboy chaos.

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Joel landed an Aussie radio exclusive with Dorit Kemsley while she was in Melbourne for Crown Oak’s Day. She raved about Melbourne, Crown’s spa (best massage in 20 years) and described Aussie fashion as “effortlessly chic” while firmly ruling out culottes and Birkenstocks. Dorit shared how she’s archiving designer pieces for her daughter Phoenix, her famously exact drink orders, and reflected on last season of Housewives as “authentic chess.” She also teased her upcoming book (April 7), revealed she was a breakdancer back in the day, and dished on her love of music, running late, and keeping it glam.

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This week on Four The Record:

Joe explains why the coalition is so obsessed with net-zero and why Albo is not helping our sportsbet accounts. 

LINKS

• Follow Tim Blackwell on Instagram
• Follow Joe Hildebrand on Instagram
• Read Joe's column in The Daily Telegraph
• Listen to The Real Story With Joe Hildebrand 

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Jonathan Bailey’s officially the Sexiest Man Alive, but it’s his Lego obsession that’s really turning heads. We unpack his perfect date night and dealbreakers (hint: anti-Lego people need not apply). Ricki tells a wild story from her Brisbane trip that sounds almost too crazy to be true, and in the Glossys, Cynthia Erivo proves she’s built different by smashing a half marathon before doing two Broadway shows in one day. Unreal.

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Tom Brady’s gone full sci-fi and cloned his beloved dog. Yep, Junie is an exact replica of his late pup, Lua. We’re shook. Meanwhile, Taylor Swift’s rocking mushroom boots, Sydney Sweeney’s back defending her jeans, and David Beckham’s officially a Sir. Oh, and Posh? She’s now Lady Beckham. Classy stuff all around.

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Ricki had a night in Brisbane that sounds totally made up. Picture this: a few too many bubbles, a fancy bar above a pub, and then an in-restaurant dining experience at Macca’s. But the real chaos hit when a random bloke, clearly off his chops, shouted “whoa whoa” from across Queen Street Mall… yep, Raining Diamonds style. Ricki sang back, he bolted, and somehow Brisbane turned into her own live concert.

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It’s a wild mix today, betch. We meet the woman who got 5 kilos of French butter as a push present (yep, actual butter), and hear Lauren Spencer Smith’s stunning One Direction cover. Blackers puts everyone through a sonic showdown with the Startup Game, where things get... unexpectedly saucy. In the Glossys, Deborra-Lee’s planning a tell-all, Chris Martin’s dating Sophie Turner, and Diplo’s still dropping Trudeau jokes. Plus, a gold toilet worth $15 million and a marathon that somehow turned into speed dating.

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