Correcting your spouse… always pointing out what they’ve done or said is wrong… is one of the best ways to produce bitterness, resentment, and defensiveness in your marriage. And of course, YOU never like being corrected. In this episode, Shannon and I discuss how we’ve slipped into this toxic habit and discuss a new “experiment” […]

No matter how long you’ve been married to your husband or wife, there’s still new stuff you can learn about each other every day. When you do this, your marriage will never feel boring or stale, you’ll continue to fall deeper in love with each other, and you’ll truly be able to experience a Secure […]

If you want to learn how to communicate better with your husband or wife, you’re going to want to get the Secure Marriage Online Workshop. We just spent the last few months redoing the entire workshop from the ground up.

You’ll learn how to change your communication so it no longer leads to the conflict cycle and instead learn how to get onto the connection cycle. Best of all, you only need to learn six simple skills to see massive results.

In this episode we’ll walk you through how you can gain access to the Secure Marriage Framework so you can fight less, feel understood, and enjoy a deeper connection with your spouse.

The Five Love Languages have become a staple of all good marriage educational programs. Originally a book written by Gary Chapman way-back-when, it clearly shows the ways individuals best receive love.

In this episode, we describe each of five and let you know what Shannon and I are personally, and how it plays out in our relationship. Then, we give you some homework to do with your husband or wife so that you can gain the most for your relationship.

Unspoken expectations are cancerous to any marriage. Whenever you want your spouse to do something your way and on your timeframe, but you haven’t overtly shared it with them, you’re setting them up for failure and yourself for disappointment.

So why in the world are unspoken expectations so commonplace in every marriage. You’d think we would have learned by now.

In this episode, listen in as Shannon and I work through not one, but two moments of disappointed expectations that we just went through this last weekend.

Since moving to Portland, Oregon, Shannon has struggled with the winter weather. At first, we thought is was going to go away, but after 26 years of living up here, it’s clear that she suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This is not an easy thing for her and it dramatically affects both of us—Shannon because she just can’t find the energy or motivation to want to do anything. And me because I hate to see my wife hurting without a way to fix it.

In this episode, we have an honest conversation of how it affects our relationship and what we’ve learned to do and not do.

If you spouse wrestles with depression (seasonal, clinical, or any other type), you’ll want to listen in to learn how to keep it from ruining your relationship.

It can be very difficult to allow your spouse to take care of you when you are sick or injured. For many of you, you don’t want to be seen as weak or incapable. For some of you, it may be because you don’t want to be an inconvenience to anyone, including your spouse.

Paul and I understand this very well. Because Paul has recurring back issues, we often find ourselves in this situation. As it so happens, this past weekend was one of those times.

In this week’s episode we talk about what it communicates to your husband or wife when you don’t allow them to care for you and what you can do to gracefully accept help from them.

If you’d like to learn even more ways to improve your marriage go to SecureMarriage.com and watch 3 free videos that will show you how to fight less, feel understood, and enjoy a deeper connection with your spouse.

When you allow negative thoughts about your spouse to occupy your mind it has a negative impact on your marriage. And believe it or not, your husband or wife can sense what you are thinking about them, even if you don’t verbally express them.

In this episode we talk about what you can do if you find yourself in this situation.

If you’d like to learn even more ways to improve your marriage go to SecureMarriage.com and watch 3 free videos that will show you how to fight less, feel understood, and enjoy a deeper connection with your spouse.

Sometimes, you end up in a fight with your wife when it’s the highly inconvenient. For us a few weeks back, it was Sunday morning about 10 minutes before church started.

Instead of sitting through a worship service not feeling very worshipful, we decided to go work it out in the car. It didn’t take us as long as it use to, but it took us a little longer than usual.

In this episode, you’ll hear us walk through all the dynamics of that fight as well as discuss other components like validating feelings, over responsibility, and the spiritual component of conflict.

We hope you enjoy.

Let’s admit it. Everyone has those little things you want to change about your spouse. It’s a normal part of being married.

But HOW you go about getting them to change will either lead to years of conflict and tension or moments of deep, intimate connection.

In this episode we look at the not-so-helpful ways people try to change their spouse and then the ONE proven way that works everytime.