Sex for Saints

Wanting sex so you can feel closer to your spouse or because you want to connect with them is great. But sometimes, we start to seek validation through sex. When we're seeking validation through sex, we see it as our partner not loving us when we aren't having sex. We also feel rejected, which can cause a lot of hurt and anger. So, what can we do if we are starting to notice that we need sex to validate us? Listen to this episode to find out.

I often hear from my clients that they feel guilty about certain sexual things. When we really look into it, I question whether they're feeling guilty, which to me means that they are doing something outside of their integrity, or are they internalizing someone else's emotions about the subject. So in this episode, we're going to talk about naming the emotion we're feeling and if it really is guilt, how to change that feeling.

In this podcast, I'm talking with Crystal Haitsma about triggers. We hear the word all the time nowadays, but what does it really mean and how is it affecting our relationships? Listen in as Crystal and I define what triggers are and how self regulation can help us get over them. This is a great episode!

Crystal, The Parenting Coach is a Certified Life Coach and Canadian homeschooling mother of 4. She combines her background in Psychology with helpful mindset tools, somatic work and emotional processing to help parents change patterns of generational parenting. She helps you parent calm, confident kids that you LOVE to be around- simply, and in a faith-based way. She is the host of The Parenting Coach Podcast where she shares helpful parenting tactics every week.

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So many women I've talked to have said that they don't have any desire to have sex anymore. It's just gone. Now, I've talked about desire a lot on this podcast, but today I want to talk to you about one thing that I haven't talked about before and it just may blow your mind. So, listen in while we talk about desire and how it's affecting your sex life.

Do you not like sex or do you just not like the sex that you're having? Oftentimes, we actually just don't like the sex that we're having. Listen to this teaser Embracing You podcast episode as I coach Quinn on how to make the sex that she is having more enjoyable so she can like it more.

Are you subscribed to my private podcast, Embracing You!? If not, you should be. Three times a month, you can listen in as I coach actual clients on anything from making sex more enjoyable to how to navigate life after divorce. For just $99 you can get 36 episodes packed full of important information that can help you in your relationship. Just go to AmandaLouder.com/embracingyoupod/ to subscribe today!

Do you worry that you aren't sexually compatible with your spouse? I think truly being sexually incompatible is rare. But in this episode, we talk about those questions you may be having. What makes for sexual compatibility and what we can do to work on ourselves to make our relationships that much better? If you both are willing to look at yourselves and grow, ultimately you can have that honest conversation you need for both of you to be happy.

One of the most common disagreements I hear from couples about sex are about emotional and physical intimacy and which goes first. In my mind, it looks a lot like a tug of war between the couple to show which is the right kind of intimacy for a marriage. It's time to drop the rope, and find a better way. Listen to this podcast to hear why we need to find a better way and how to do it.

When I was first married to my first husband, it felt like he ALWAYS wanted sex. If I showed him any affection at all, it had to lead to sex. I, like a lot of women, didn't want it to always mean I had to have sex. I missed what it was like when we were dating, when we could be affectionate and that's as far as it went. So, why does this pattern of expectation start and what can we do about it in our relationships? That's what we're talking about in this episode. If that pattern is happening in your relationship, let's work to fix it!

Let me ask you a question. Are you overfunctioning or underfunctioning in your sexual relationship with your spouse? Taking a look at yourself and honestly answering this question can help you have a better relationship. We often get into patterns and dynamics that seem helpful but end up causing more problems in the end. So let's define what it is and what we can do about it.

This is part two of an amazing interview I did with fellow life coach Julie Balkman. This week we're talking more about our young adults and how they are really struggling in dating and moving into relationships and into sexual relationships. Whether you're a young adult, either single and dating or newly married or you have young adults, even if you have been married a long time, I think you're going to find some really good, valuable insights into why things are the way they are for you in this episode. If you didn't hear part one, I would recommend listening to that one first here.

Julie Balkman, founder of the 100 Interviews Project and expert panelist for the LDS dating app Mutual, is a dating expert and certified life coach who helps young adults get out of the dating game and into a real relationship that lasts. The dating game often continues into engagement and marriage, so she also works with newly married couples, helping them build a relationship based on real love and intimacy. With eight years experience working with hundreds of young adults (single and married), she has seen firsthand the desire and need for clear answers, actionable steps, and real results. You can find her at juliebalkmancoaching.com and @lifecoach.julie on Instagram.