Sex, Love, and Addiction

By Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW

On Sex, Love, and Addiction, Dr. Rob Weiss, sex therapist and author of a dozen books on sex and relationship healing, interviews global experts like Dr’s. Sue Johnson, Harville Hendrix, Dr. Stan Tatk... more

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How many episodes does Sex, Love, and Addiction have?

The podcast currently has 216 episodes available.

Best of Sex, Love, and Addiction

The most played episodes among Podcast App listeners.

Number 1: Stop Setting Yourself on Fire To Keep Everyone Else Warm Part 1
Dr. Rob is joined by compatibility specialist Jena Jake. Together they discuss the power of feeling a pain so strong that you are finally ready to stop self-abandoning. They explore the importance of awareness and boundaries, what it looks like to build a life alone, and strategies for carefully choosing the self-talk and blaming that so many of us face in unhealthy relationships. TAKEAWAYS: [2:03] Jena’s transition from marital therapy to executive coaching. [3:35] What are we looking for when choosing a partner? [6:07] Identifying patterns that feel like love. [8:42] Jena’s ABA formula, including awareness and healthy boundaries. [12:24] Your inner self needs you to stop giving yourself away. [15:10] Facing your wake up moment. [17:00] Yes, you can build a life alone. [17:53] Seen, safe, supported, sought after and satisfied. [22:28] Rebuilding trust after betrayal. [27:55] Be careful about self-talk and blame. [29:50] Jena’s healing journey. RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES: “What feels familiar isn’t always what’s aligned or what’s good for you.” “Stop setting yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.” “You may not have gotten better, but you did deserve better.” “I don’t have to trust you, but I do have to trust myself.”
August 14, 202635min
Number 2: Stop Setting Yourself on Fire To Keep Everyone Else Warm Part 2
Dr. Rob and Jena Jake continue their conversation about finding healthy relationships that you can model, the role of grief in love and healing, and tactics to empower yourself today, no matter what your healthy or unhealthy relationships with a spouse, partner, child or parent might look like. TAKEAWAYS: [1:24] Pushing back against powerful but unhealthy attachments. [6:10] How could I not have know this was happening? [8:08] Making improvements within yourself. [9:56] The role of grief in love and healing. [12:32] When is it finally time to stop and say no? [16:10] Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. [19:26] Tactics to empower yourself now. [22:05] Identifying the patterns that create your actions. [26:15] Jena’s final advice for empowerment. RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES: “Change your familiar and your baseline for relationships.” “You’re not trying to get someone, you’re trying to become someone.” “It’s time to stop self-abandoning and start moving forward.” “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” “Empowering yourself empowers other people.”
August 14, 202637min
Number 3: Part 1: Finding Intimacy in Sex with Dr. Erika Schwartz
Dr. Rob and Dr. Erika Schwartz discuss the connection between intimacy and sex – what it is, how it varies based on age, gender, and culture, and what a partner’s betrayal really means about the relationship. The author of The Intimacy Solution, Dr. Erika explores the connection between sex and intimacy at all stages of life and answers the question that so many betrayed partners grapple with – “If you really loved me, why would you do this?” TAKEAWAYS: [2:28] Dr. Erica defines the key differences between sex and intimacy. [4:45] Gender and cultural insights into sex and intimacy. [7:48] The link between the pathology of addicts and lack of communication in relationships. [10:27] “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t do this.” [14:42] The reasons partners choose to leave or to stay. [16:15] The danger of trying to hold on to the intensity of the 18-year-old life. [17:34] Oxytocin is a key component of intimacy and connection. [21:52] Does “in sickness and in health” apply to betrayal and addiction? [27:15] Your partner’s addiction isn’t about you, but it is about honoring the truth. RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Dr. Geoff Goodman Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Dr. Erika Schwartz Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES: “You can live a much easier life if you see how the other side views sexuality and intimacy.” “There is a lot in sexuality that we don’t talk about that we should be talking about.” “You have to figure out how to fix your problem. Your partner can’t do it for you.” “If they are everything to you, then you are nothing to yourself.”
March 20, 202531min
Number 4: Part 2 - How to Get Over Betrayal and Cheating
Dr. Rob breaks down what goes on in a man's and a woman's mind when they cheat and their partner finds out about the affair. In a continuation of last week’s episode, Dr. Rob shares whether it’s possible to recover from infidelity, whether a partner should stay in a relationship with an addict, and how you restore trust again in a relationship after cheating. TAKEAWAYS: [1:50] Codependency doesn’t actually exist. Dr. Rob explains why. [3:10] When your partner is snooping through your stuff. They’re look for reasons to stay with you! [7:35] Can couples recover from infidelity? [14:25] Every partner feels like it’s their fault for not being able to keep their cheating partner in the home. [14:55] So many people will say, ‘if only you had more sex with them, they wouldn’t cheat.’ That’s a lie! Spouses are shamed on and they have very little support. [17:20] Crazy is your new normal! [22:25] Your spouse has lost their best friend. [23:15] Should a betrayed spouse stay or should they go? [31:05] What is disclosure? [41:10] Empathy is how you heal deep relationship wounds with your partner. [41:45] How do you restore trust in a relationship? RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss QUOTES: “All your betrayed partner is looking for is reality, is for clarity.” “When a partner of 30 years hears that you’ve been cheating for 25 years. It’s not going to go well.” “Why would you have sex with a sex addict if you don’t trust them?” “The truth is, the more they know, the less it will hurt. What your betrayed spouse wants is honesty!”
October 27, 202250min
Number 5: Part 1 - How to Get Over Betrayal and Cheating
Dr. Rob breaks down what goes on in a man's and a woman’s mind when they cheat and their partner finds out about the affair. Dr. Rob uses a clip from Fatal Attraction to show an example of how a cheating partner tries to manipulate their partner, who is in pain, about the betrayal. In this episode, Dr. Rob explains what intimacy really is and what happens when your needs are not being met. TAKEAWAYS: [2:20] Men and women are different. Men have the ability to separate sex from intimacy. [3:55] How do you define cheating in the digital age? [5:15] Dr. Rob plays a clip from Fatal Attraction to best explain cheating. [9:45] When you ask for forgiveness, you take the focus off of the person in grief and put it back on you. It appears very selfish and manipulative in the moment. [12:45] How many times have you believed that your cheating wasn’t your fault? [14:55] Why doesn’t he just come home and help with some of the household chores? [16:20] So many of us confuse intensity with intimacy. That is not intimacy. [19:50] Men who have cheated expect to be forgiven right away, but a woman doesn’t work that way. [25:15] What do men need to do to gain back their partner’s trust? [29:45] Remember, when it’s all about you, that’s not empathy. [32:30] Women who have experienced cheating betrayal feel guilty and shameful that they allowed this to happen. They feel like they should have done more to keep their man from straying. Dr. Rob explains deeper. [37:00] Why is she so upset about every little detail happening? [40:15] Your female partner has been victimized by you. You are responsible for the consequences. [42:45] Stay tuned for part 2! RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss QUOTES: “No man I’ve ever met understands how to heal cheating in a woman.” “Men will respond differently to betrayal, but betrayal is still betrayal.” “When you ask someone for forgiveness, what you’re doing is asking them to take the focus off of themselves and put them on you.” “Our home is the foundation and when you’re saying work is more important, forget about the sex, we’re sitting here actually saying, ‘you don’t matter.’”
October 20, 202244min