Single Minded

I'm joining you today from Lamai Fitness in Thailand to explain why I had the worst birthday ever, and why I think celebrating birthdays is overrated. Naturally, Linda disagrees with me and LOVES her birthday. 

This is probably the most requested topic from listeners... and it's finally here!! There's a Thailand trip for EVERYONE in this episode. The spiritual seeker, the adventurer, the party gal... and more! I hope you love Thailand as much as I do x

Poo photo link: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/iaaf4odpl75dctmg0dlpj/PHOTO-2023-12-07-10-44-16.jpg?rlkey=xjfhq1ce6ykc330nztiwxjlem&dl=0

The itineraries below...

The spiritual seeker:

• The Tri Bay @ Koh Phangan, which is made up of Haad Tien, Haad Yuan & Why Nam Beach
• The Sanctuary Thailand is the main resort on Haad Tien
• The quickest way to get there from Melbourne: Flight to Koh Samui via Singapore, then a boat to Koh Phangan
• The backpacker route: Flight to Bangkok, then fly to Surat Thani, then bus & boat to Koh Phangan 
• Once you're there, you can get a taxi to Haad Rin beach and take a long-tail boat to Haad Tien

The wellness reset:

• Koh Samui or Phuket 
• Mum's recco: Phuket Cleanse 
• My recco: Lamai Fitness 

The adventurer

• Fly from Bangkok to Chiang Mai (3 nights)
• Bus to Pai (2 nights)
• Bus to Chiang Rai (2 nights)
• Fly from Chiang Mai to Koh Samui (3-4 nights)
• Then boat to Koh Phangan (3-4 nights)
• Boat to Koh Tao (2 nights)
• You can travel over to the other side and do Phuket, Krabi and Phi Phi if you have time
• You can fly out of Phuket back to Australia 

The party gal:

• Koh Phangan: Srithanu, The Tri Bay or Haad Rin for the Full Moon Party

The backpacker route: 

• 2-3 month loop around Southeast Asia 
• Cambodia: Phnom Penh, Siam Reap, Kampot, Koh Rong islands
• Vietnam: Ho Chi Minh to Hanoi 
• Laos, then you can cross the border to Chiang Mai and make your way down south 

As Linda would say, "I'm back bitches!" Here's everything that has happened in the last four months while I've been gone. 

Today, Ruby and I discuss the article I Used To Be A Human Being by Andrew Sullivan. You can read the article here:
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2016/09/andrew-sullivan-my-distraction-sickness-and-yours.html

It's a CACOPHONY of ideas!

Other articles discussed:
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniemcneal/influencers-quitting-instagram
https://lynzyandco.com/why-i-am-leaving-instagram/

Today, Ruby and I discuss why we prefer The Real World over creating Reels, and why it's been so hard for me to take a break from social media. 

You can read my Medium article on the same topic here: https://medium.com/the-narrative-arc/i-went-to-thailand-to-take-a-break-from-social-media-816ab0445c74?sk=d908a2ba4236d463eb01f04b47344b22 

Single Minded is also having a lil refresh! We hope you like the new format. 

"Junk food has taken over our diets, and it is making millions of people physically sick. A growing body of scientific evidence suggests that something similar is happening with our minds — that they have become dominated by junk values, and this is making us mentally sick, triggering soaring rates of depression and anxiety.”  - Johann Hari

On today's episode, Ruby and I discuss our own junk values and compare these to the values we're striving to live by now. We try to understand why it's so hard to do what feels right in a world dominated by success porn (hi LinkedIn), and wonder whether we've set the bar too high - do we need to lower our expectations of life in order to be happier?

Links to books & articles discussed: 

• Lost Connections by Johann Hari: https://www.amazon.com.au/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-Unexpected/dp/163286830X
• LA TIMES - We know junk food makes us sick. Are ‘junk values’ making us depressed: https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-hari-kasser-junk-values-20180121-story.html 
• Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport: https://www.amazon.com.au/Digital-Minimalism-Living-Better-Technology/dp/0241453577/
• THE ATLANTIC - We’re Learning the Wrong Lessons From the World’s Happiest Countries: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/06/worlds-happiest-countries-denmark-finland-norway/619299/ 

A lot happened in today's episode! Here's everything you need to know... 

Let's start with Fran & Will's PERFECT First Dates episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EFaUUGxh9I

Next, we have my FAVE new comedian Jessica Kirson's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@JessicaKirsonComedy

Hannah Zaslawski also joined me to chat all about her TikTok dating experiment. Watch her fifty first dates on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hannahzaslawski

Holly is a modern-day matchmaker and the founder of MATCHSMITH. She joins me today to discuss all things dating apps. She helps clients redesign their dating app profiles to get the right matches for them... And for a select number of clients, she actually does the swiping for them! Holly has reviewed many dating app profiles and knows what works and what doesn't... The questions we answer on today's episode: 

• One of your services is a review of someone's current dating app profile: What are the biggest mistakes you see on dating app profiles?
• Do you think it's important to design your dating app to attract the right matches as opposed to the most matches?
• What are your top tips for designing a dating app profile? Is there a formula?
• You also offer a service where someone can fully outsource their dating app swiping to you - it's like a modern-day matchmaker service! What are you looking for in potential matches? Do your clients disclose to their dates that they haven't done the actual swiping? 
• I'm so interested to hear what you think of dating apps in general: Have they helped or hindered IRL connections?

You can find Holly's website here: https://www.matchsmith.com/
Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/match_smith/

According to Harvard's Happiness study: "Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives." But what makes a romantic relationship stand the test of time? What does the research say? I wanted to find out! Here are the secrets to a happy relationship, according to research. I think these will help ANYONE no matter they're relationship status. Let's call these the ultimate green flags:
 
1. Someone who shares in your triumphs: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-happy-couple-2012-10-23/
2. A positive mindset & shows gratitude: https://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-a-happy-relationship/
3. Healthy shared passions (not obsessive passion): https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/how-to-know-when-healthy-passion-becomes-obsessive-passion.html
4. More positive interactions than negative ones during conflict: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-magic-relationship-ratio-according-science/
5. Someone who believes in you: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/articles/201901/the-michelangelo-effect
6. Diffusing fights: https://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-a-happy-relationship/
7. Friendship: https://www.gottman.com/blog/8-myths-about-relationships/
8. Kindness: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/

Harvard study: https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/