Small Jar Podcast - The Ride to the Empty Nest

As moms, we have really good advice. We want the best for our kids and we have a lot of experience in life that our kids don't have. But what's interesting is that the advice we give our kids is often the very same advice we need to hear ourselves. But how often do we actually take our own advice? In this episode, I share my personal experiences and examples from my coaching practice to help you see the wisdom you already have within you. Join me as we reflect on this sage advice and discover how to step into a more empowered and compassionate version of yourself.

As a mom entering your child’s senior year of high school, you feel deeply the weight of the change to come. With each micro-goodbye, each "last", you feel closer to that time when you will have to say goodbye to your child. I've been down this road before with my older son, and as I approach my baby's senior year, I thought I would share the intentions I am going into this year with to be sure that I stay in the moment and support my son in the best way I can. I have learned that by becoming more intentional about your thoughts and how they shape your emotions, you harness the power to create any even deeper and more impactful connection with your child and also with yourself. This year is a pivotal time, full of bittersweet moments. Join me as we embrace all of it together.

It's an emotional rollercoaster, this business of raising and launching teens. There are so many beautiful highs, but the lows are rough. We've been supporting our kids, helping them be safe, happy and successful, for so long, it's instinctual at this point. In fact, caring for our kids is as important to us as our own survival. So often we think of our emotions as being caused by people or situations in our life, but in this episode I explore how this isn't true. And why this is really good news! Look, in life, there will no doubt be triggers...situations that fire up our fight or flight response. Times that we have to navigate complicated decisions. Questions about how best to parent and support our kids. Life is always going to offer up new circumstances. But could you imagine understanding your emotions, and knowing how to be in control of them, so that you knew you could handle whatever comes your way? Check this episode out to learn how.

Some of us dread the empty nest...others of us embrace it. No matter your perspective about that moment when your last child leaves home, us moms actually start the process of letting go much earlier. As soon as our kids hit puberty, we start to have to grapple with the reality that we can no longer have control over their safety, happiness or success. And in truth, balancing our at times conflicting desires to support our kids, help them thrive, and to feel like our role matters...this challenge can continue through the time when our own babies start having babies. In this episode, I reframe the conversation about the empty nest and share the three lessons that you have the opportunity to embrace so that you can step off the emotional roller coaster and create more peace, confidence, joy and fulfillment in your life. Where ever you are on your journey through the open nest, consider that although your birds might eventually leave home, they will come back….and as they seek their own happiness and success…that invitation is open to you as well.

"Stay positive!" "You just need to learn to let go." "Find new purpose." "Learn pickleball!"  It's not that this advice isn't well-meaning...the problem is that this advice doesn't address the root cause of the problem you're facing. Namely, that the transition when your kid goes to college can be really hard. We'd love to believe everything will be fine. Our kids have been telling us to let go for years. Find new purpose? How do I do that? The typical advice we new empty nesters hear sounds simple, but it's not easy. So in this episode, I'm not going to give you more advice. But I am going to do a mindset audit of some common tips people give moms of new college kids...and I'm going to show you exactly why it's not easy to follow. And spoiler alert: it's NOT your fault!

Forget big goals, sometimes we just want to feel better in our life.  But have you ever stopped to think about what that looks like?  How do you want to feel?  What if that is actually the goal - to feel better?  In this episode I explore the positive impact of creating more peace, confidence and joy. It's actually not only about feeling better. The impact of these emotions is that you actually show up to your life in a whole new way.

Life is messy.  Life with teens, riding the roller coaster of emotions as they grow up...for us moms, it's particularly messy. Learning how to redefine ourselves as we approach the next chapter...messy. We often tell ourselves that "it doesn't have to be perfect". But how often are you satisfied with "imperfect."  In this episode, I share the four lessons I was reminded of as I tackled my garden. Join me if you're ready to find the beauty in imperfection.

Episode 111. The work of becoming who you want to be is not simply about thinking happier thoughts and trying to manifest a better life. You most likely don't even realize how many ways your own mind is holding you back. Sometimes it's simply a thought that you can’t be satisfied with your life until you fix something about yourself or about the world. Join me in this episode as I share three examples of women who empowered themselves to step into who they really want to be...without needing to change anything about their lives.

Episode 110. Anxiety seems to go hand in hand with raising teens. All that you want is for your child to be safe, happy and successful...but when any of these goals is in jeopardy, we moms can't help but feel anxious, right? It's hard to trust that everything will be ok, especially when we feel such a deep responsibility to help guide and support our teens. On top of that, our minds are really good at dreaming up worst case scenarios that keep us up at night! In this episode, I share the two steps you can take right now to help you let go of your anxiety and find peace.

Episode 109. Small Jar's "mom archetypes" celebrate the many strengths and gifts that we bring to this beautiful and crazy journey of motherhood. We love our kids so much, and we want them to be safe, happy and successful. "The Mentor" is her kids' champion and cheerleader. She is the one who believes in her child's potential, and she shows up, in every conceivable way to help them be everything she knows they can be. Safe. Happy. Successful. We should all be so lucky to have this mom in our corner. There is a Mentor Mom in all of us moms who love our kids. But these same strengths can make the Mentor vulnerable to frustration and judgment as her teen veers from her view of who they have the potential to be.

The Guardian. Achiever. Nurturer. Mentor. Which type do you lean into?
Take the Mom Archetype Quiz: https://small-jar.involve.me/momarchetypequiz