One of the most inevitable questions that comes with early adulthood is also one of the most fraught: “When are you having kids?” 

The question is loaded with assumptions and pressure. It also seems to ignore the fact that having kids is supposed to be a choice, not a requirement. 

For neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD, deciding whether to become a parent can be even more complex. 

On this episode of “Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson,” we talk with author and editorial director Jordan Davidson. She’s interviewed hundreds of people about their decision on whether to become a parent. 

Related resources

• Jordan’s book: “So When Are You Having Kids?”
• Podcast series: Climbing the Walls

Timestamps

(03:06) What inspired Jordan’s book

(08:35) Jordan’s findings from hundreds of interviews

(12:28) How to break schemas attached to parenthood

(24:28) The fantasy of the “idealized parent” 

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Hyperfocus page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected].

You can also listen to episodes of Hyperfocus on The ADHD Channel for Women (formerly known as MissUnderstood). 

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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