Sober Edge

Are you ready to be the leader of your AF life? My guest today is a expert on building winning teams and creating leadership pillars that work!

Toni Will is a Senior This Naked Mind Coach, General Manager of the Kalamazoo Wings and champion for women in pro sports. Toni is an amazing leader who has focused her career on creating and leading winning teams, both on and off the ice.

Here are some highlights from this episode:

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• Toni's 6 leadership pillars
• The toxic work culture that changed her career path
• What it looks like to 'belly up to the bar' to cut business deals
• How to stick your neck out
• And more...

Find out more about Toni, The KWings and read the article she talks about: 'Glass Shattered and a Seat for Everyone'; more info in the Show Notes

Check out my YouTube channel and more of T.E.A. with Teri: here's the link

"I didn't believe it either" might be the sentiment that you feel about your alcohol-free journey. I often see posts from people who share their day count and express wonderment that they have reached this place of freedom.

My guest on the podcast today took that sentiment and wrote a book detailing the surprising lessons of living an alcohol-free life. Todd Kinney is a dad, a lawyer and a husband who shares how all of these areas were impacted by drinking and by not drinking.

Todd shared in his live talk and on the podcast, the challenge that many of us face with our long-time partners when they still drink and we stop. He came to recognize that he needed both connection and support and initially felt resentful when he wasn't getting those things from his wife. He shares that he was having many conversations about his needs, but only in his head! Tune into the podcast episode to learn how Todd finally shared his feelings and needs and that outcome that has worked for him and his wife.

Highlights from the episode:

• Todd shares how he initially felt more comfortable sharing with women because he felt less risk of being judged.
• His thoughts about men and alcohol culture: "I gave up drinking. Am I even a 'real guy' anymore?"
• The chapter in his book titled "None Of The Bad Things Happened"
• ...and more

Episode Show Notes HERE

Interested in creating a midlife with intention and joy? Find out more HERE

Becoming alcohol-free was one of the hardest things I have ever done. In the beginning, figuring out how to live alcohol-free was also extremely difficult. This is true for most of my clients and the people I meet who have undertaken this journey. So, why do we keep going? How do we know it's going to be worth it in the end? What is at the 'heart' of sober living?

I experienced something recently that I think, at least for me, answers this question. I attended an event with 100+ women (and 2 men) where we experienced the joy of celebrating life as alcohol-free humans. Friendship, celebration, laughter, and learning have been a big part of my sober journey. Another very important part for me has been growing personally - learning to sit with my emotions, learning to express my needs, learning to really listen to other people and see beyond the veil.

The Sober In The City event in Tampa, Florida reminded me, in the best possible way, how important it is to be seen and heard and understood in this AF world. The things that matter to all humans also matter to us. We don't stop needing fun, or dance parties or new friends just because we don't drink alcohol!

This is what AF women want and deserve!

• Friendship
• Connection
• Fun
• Laughter
• Learning
• A Support System
• Practice socializing AF
• Understanding
• Inspiration

I hope you will feel inspired to keep reaching new heights as you experience more alcohol-free time. One thing that I have noticed, and I have also heard from so many of you, is that life keeps getting better and better. Why is that? I think it is because, for perhaps the first time, we are experiencing life without judging ourselves and others, instead we are exploring how to be more open, more compassionate and more authentic.

Full Show Notes HERE including where to find your OWN alcohol-free community!

To continue our conversation about aging and whether you should age gracefully or fight it all the way (!), I shared some additional thoughts about midlife on the podcast this week.

Here are a few highlights:

• Health span vs. Life span
• Postive Intelligence
• It's okay to feel some loss of identity and even grief as life unfolds.
• Where are the rituals of midlife?
• The Daring Dozen

Here's an idea; what if we took a 'gap year' or a 'sabbatical' to commemorate midlife? Imagine dedicating a full year to figuring out what we want to focus on in our 4th act. In his teaching about midlife, Chip Conley shares that we used to consider life as a 'three-part play'. Part 1 was birth to 21 years of age. Part 2, 22 -45 years of age and our final act was 46-65 when we would retire and die shortly after. Now, we are often living to 85, an entire extra act! I think that's pretty exciting. And, I think that if we want to live with vitality and a richness of friendship and purpose, we need to plan for it.

Full Show Notes Here (including a Daring Dozen assignment!)

Do you enjoy 'before' and 'after' photos? I am often amazed by photos I see of someone while drinking and then that same someone 60 or 90 days later. It's incredible to see the dramatic changes that can occur.

I think it's also true with midlife. Have you ever known someone who becomes softer and more present as they grow older? How about someone who embraces a new passion or writes a book at the age of 60+?

You've probably heard the saying "age is just a number", which I agree with. However, I think age is also a mindset. Some say "60 is the new 40" but I don't want to go back to 40. For me, so much of the beauty of midlife comes from embracing all the gifts of wisdom, experience and freedom that comes from growing older. In my 40s I was caught up in overdrinking and overthinking; in my 60s I am embracing space, curiosity and wonder!

How do we get through these hard times? I am discovering that having a safe place to share and a sense of curiosity (vs. judgment) are helping. I am also questioning everything I thought I knew about growing older.

Full Show Notes

Are you looking to upgrade your health this year? Perhaps it's time to cut back on processed foods and sugar but the nagging question is, 'how?'. If this is you, I invite you to take a look at my RESTART® program - Real Food, Real Learning, Real Solutions. We are getting started next week - only 5 weeks and value packed.

Learn more here: RESTART®

In the movie, The Matrix, there is a scene where the character realizes he is caught in an illusion. My guest on the podcast this week is Dustin Dunbar, who had his own matrix moment when he had an awakening dream that showed him the damage that alcohol was creating in his own life.

Dustin Dunbar grew up poor in Midwest America with an abusive, alcohol-addicted father and grandfather, and vowed to never be like them. And yet, like many of us, he found himself using alcohol to fit in, to hang with the guys and to make the deals on the golf course. When Dustin became alcohol-free four years ago, he knew he wanted to help other men overcome the lies that alcohol told him.

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• Why Dustin doesn't use the word 'sober'
• How he talks to his children about alcohol
• Dustin calls out George Clooney; Teri calls out Snoop Dog.
• The book that changed his life

Find out more about Dustin, We are AFR and his mission to ban alcohol advertising by visiting the SHOW NOTES

Want to know more about the Build the Life You Want book study? Click HERE

Our relationship with food is a life-long relationship. My guest today, Ali Shapiro, reminds us that from conception, food is 'yoked' with attachment and belonging. Her work as a holistic nutritionist and behavior specialist gives Ali a unique understanding of diet culture, body positivity and modern medicine. In her words, each has their 'own flavor of crazy'.

Here are some of the powerful points that Ali and I discuss:

• How food issues hold us back from real life
• Food as medicine
• The backlash against 'wellness'
• Toxic diet culture (thin at all costs)
• Her philosophy of "loving my body is doing loving things"
• Food is the solution, not the problem.
• Option "C"

This conversation is so important, especially in this day and age where women continue to get pulled between body image and body positivity. Ali is a master at mindset and learning to love ourselves first. Her flagship program, Truce With Food, is now open for enrollment.

Full Show Notes HERE

including: links to Truce With Food

and The Happier Book Study

When we stop drinking, we often hope for better health. That's one of the top reasons people give me for wanting to cut back or stop drinking. Everyone hopes that they will feel better - sleep better, have lower blood pressure, lose weight. But, if our drinking has compromised our health, we may believe that stopping will simply delay the inevitable, that our only option is, as my podcast guest shares, "let the chips fall where they may".

When I set out to interview a variety of midlife women about their journey to stop drinking, one guest had an atypical story. Lisa Ryan, a fellow This Naked Mind coach and an Aussie, shares her dark and difficult journey from the brink of death to a life worth living and loving. Many of my podcast guests and many of my clients are gray area drinkers; those of us who haven't reached 'rock bottom' but choose to stop drinking simply because we want more out of life. Lisa's story is not one of gray area drinking. She shares that she had many Day 1's and a frank discussion with her doctor that alcohol might be the end for her. It was a scary time.

I am grateful to Lisa for sharing her story that it is never too late to start changing our relationship with alcohol, even when a happy ending is not guaranteed.

Also, I want to encourage you to try new tools in your own AF journey!

You can check out a different kind of tool, my revamped program "Stop Drinking in Your 50s and Beyond' HERE

Full Show Notes Here

One of the biggest issues with New Year's resolutions is that they often revolve around huge changes like adjusting our eating habits, getting more sleep, or becoming fluent in a new language.

"Where we go wrong with New Year's resolutions is there's this idea that it's supposed to be some big, sweeping change, because that sounds kind of sexy. [But] as humans, we're not wired to make big, sweeping changes.

TERRI BLY, LICENSED CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST

So, I propose we try something different. I borrowed heavily from the trifecta idea that Gretchen Rubin shares about 3 ways to embrace the new year: A One-Word Theme, A 24 for 24 Challenge and My 24 for 24 List.

In today's episode, I share these exercises as an alternative way to set your intention and create your life by design, not by default. There is no requirement implement all four ideas; feel free to pick and choose the ones that speak to you and spark your creativity!

Full Show Notes

Coffee Date Survey

As we turn the page to the New Year, I find it valuable to spend some time reflecting. I like to consider the good, the bad, the fun times and the challenges that each year brings.

In the podcast this week, I share some of these reflections and I hope you will be inspired to take your own look back.

Here are some of the highlights, challenges and lessons from 2023:

• My community grew by 700%. That means I get to help more people on their AF journey.
• We got a puppy!
• I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition mid-summer
• While addressing one health challenge, I have the opportunity to discover new ways to support my overall health.
• Connection continues to be the number one thing my audience and community are seeking
• It's never too late to make new friends!

and more in the episode and the shownotes!

Show Notes Here

Your invitation to '24 for 24' HERE