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In this episode, we have a special guest, Mary Tilson, a yoga teacher, retreat leader, and the host of the Sun and Moon Sober Living Podcast. Mary shares her inspiring story of how she went from being a cocaine addict and a party girl in Chicago to a sober and successful woman who travels the world teaching yoga and spreading awareness about sobriety. Mary tells us how she hit rock bottom and decided to seek help, and how she discovered yoga as a powerful tool for healing and transformation. She also shares how she decided to leave her corporate job and pursue her passion for travel and yoga, and how she found her purpose and community along the way. Mary shows us how sobriety can open up new possibilities and adventures, and how we can use yoga to connect with ourselves and others. If you are curious about yoga, travel, or sobriety, this episode is for you. Tune in and get inspired by Mary’s amazing journey of recovery and discovery.

Check out The Sun and Moon Sober Living Podcast
Mary can be found on Instagram @marytilson
Sun and Moon Sober Living Podcast on Instagram @sunandmoon.soberliving

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I loved drinking alone.  And man did it annoy me to hear that drinking alone would be the sign of a problem.  In my mind, if I didn't drink alone, how would I otherwise drink?  I did not have people around me who wanted to regularly drink the way I did.  When I drink alone, I could be sure no one would criticize me and I would not get a DUI.  I never left the house.  Plus, I could "control" my drinking out and then drink the way I wanted at home.

There is a reason drinking alone is the sign of a problem.  You are taking a drunk and doing it alone removes social pressures from from getting as high as you want.  I hope you enjoy and relate to this episode of drinking alone.

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In this episode, I chat with Tim Phillips, the host of the Sober and Happy podcast, about his journey from alcohol addiction to sobriety. Tim shares how he drank differently than his friends in college, how he tried to fit in with AA, and how he left AA and found his own path to recovery. He also talks about how he makes his podcast episodes that are short, sweet, and helpful for anyone who wants to be sober and happy. We also discuss the phenomenon of people who don’t drink at all or drink very little, and how we can understand them better.

• Check out Tim's podcast, Sober and Happy at his website, soberandhappy.com.
• You can find Tim on Instagram at @iamsoberandhappy and on Facebook @iamsoberandhappy

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Setting boundaries was hard during our active addiction.  We prioritized the drinking above all else.  There were no boundaries during a drinking session because there was no way to predict where it would go.  Our priorities were all out of wack.

After getting sober, it's important to work on setting the right boundaries.  That comes with knowing the right priorities and working on the personal defects that caused us to drink in the first place.

Steve and I talk about some of the obstacles:

• People Pleasing
• Priorities
• Focusing on all the things we want to do, not the things we have to do

This is a long term development for Steve and I.  We don't have all the answers and if you struggle with setting boundaries, we hope this is helpful in your journey.

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Laura had alcohol use disorder in her family and likely many who struggled with drinking, she thought she was immune to these challenges.  Growing up she felt insecure and when she went to college, found out alcohol made her feel whole.  After college, she found a way to capture that school feeling by moving to a ski town.  Eventually, Laura’s drinking progressed to where an ex called her out for drinking tequila on a Tuesday.  Instead of seeing this as a sign of problem drinking, it caused Laura to hide it.  The urge was so strong she began drinking a friend’s expensive wine collection, something Laura could not replace.  Eventually, Laura found she not avoid drinking, even when she did not want to.  Pulled over for a DUI, she passed the field sobriety test and then registered 0.21 on the breathalyzer.  Even the police officer telling Laura she might have a problem to be functional with such a high BAC did not stop her drinking.

Some people think they can quit for a while and then control their drinking.  Laura proved you come back worse.

Laura tried podcasts and books and it was only going to a meeting and connecting with other alcoholics was she on her way to sobriety.  Laura found the people in the meetings inspiring and developed the tools to deal with life on life’s terms and still not drink.  Laura has had her own hard times and shares that her gratitude over sobriety has gotten her through those rough patches. 

Laura promised to pay it forward and she’s done that with her message she shares on Tik Tok and Instagram where she is vulnerable, honest, funny and inspiring with her message.

When you listen to this episode, you’ll never think of Whole Foods the same way.

Follow Laura on the following:

• Instagram @yoursoberpal
• Tik Tok @yoursoberpal
• Website yoursoberpal.com

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Andrea Owen hit bottom in 2007.  Her husband had an affair with their neighbor and got her pregnant.  When they split, she entered a new relationship only to find out nine months later he’d lived about having cancer to cover for his drug problem.  He cheated on Andrea and fleeced her out of thousands of dollars.  Andrea had isolated herself from her friends, quit her job and was moving out her apartment to move in with him.  Andrea knew life had to change and asked the universe for whatever help she could get.

In this episode, Andrea shares:

• How she attended 12 step meetings on co-dependency, yet dismissed her own alcohol issues
• How battle with sex and love addiction left a graveyard of broken hearts
• Dealing with the horrors of postpartum depression
• Big T and Little T “trauma.”
• Drinking before her husband came home, chugging wine just before he came in the door
• Battling ADD

So much more

Andrea Owen is a life coach, author and podcaster.  She hosts “Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen,” anywhere you get your podcasts.  She’s the author of the books:

• Make Some Noise
• How to Stop Feeling Like Shit
• 52 Ways to Live a Kick Ass Life
• The audio book, “Getting Damn Good at Life”

You can find Andrea Owen at https://andreaowen.com/
Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/heyandreaowen/ 
Tik Tok at https://www.tiktok.com/@heyandreaowen 
Linked In at https://www.linkedin.com/in/heyandreaowen/ 

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You ever hear a wise oldtimer talk about how the relapse happens before the first drink?  For many, it's what happens in the mind well before that drink is taken.  Steve and I talk about our behaviors that either lead us to drink, prevent us from stopping or lead to a relapse.  

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My relationship with alcohol was to the only unhealthy relationship I had.  I likely drink too much coffee.  Fortunately, it does not ruin my life.  I loved pain pills.  I smoked for a short time.  I used all those substances like how I used alcohol to change how I felt.  

Food is another thing that I handled “alcoholically.”  I’ve struggled with my weight from childhood and Steve has too.  There are some types of food that make my body react the way alcohol does.  Sugar is definitely one of them.

I’ve lost weight when I’ve controlled my food.  My weight goes up when I enjoy my food.

I’m sure there are many of you like this, who don’t just struggle with booze, you struggle with other things like food.

Victoria Yates is a registered nurse and nutritional coach.  Victoria addresses healthy food habits differently than others.  She is not into fad diets, calorie counting and fasting.  Victoria practices a principal called Intuitive Eating, which is about listening to your body and feelings when eating.  After all, gaining or losing weight is not all about the amount we eat, it’s about the feeling food gives us.

I know for this alcoholic, food is another solution to my feelings, just like alcohol.

In this episode:

• Victoria tells us about how she had a poor relationship with food and her own body, leading to an eating disorder for 8 years of her life
• How the book, Intuitive Eating changed her life
• What she preaches to her clients
• How you have to be willing to fail in trying to lose weight
• And how you have to throw out everything you’ve learned about the “right way” to eat

You can connect with Victoria Yates at her website, victoria-yates.com and on Instagram at  @nondiet_RN

Check out Victoria’s show The Redefining Health Podcast wherever you get your shows.  

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One of the biggest turn offs for people considering a 12 step group or even those already in, is the topic of God, religion and spirituality.  But what exactly is spirituality and why does it go hand in hand with self knowledge of alcoholism?

Both Matt and Steve have some challenges with the view of the religious higher power.  This topic was brought up by a friend in the rooms, who came into recovery as an atheist and now finds himself agnostic with a view that his higher power is not himself.

How does self knowledge work for you in recovery?  Do you need a higher power?  What does spirituality look like for you?  Where do you struggle and where do you have strength?

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What is the end goal of recovery?  Is it to die sober?

Our friend Scott L recently passed after a fight with lung cancer.  Scott died sober with 5 years of recovery.  It did not come easy for Scott but when he got it, he got it.

Steve and I talk about what dying sober means, is it the end goal and how recovery folks feel when we see an obit that says, "They died sober."

I know I want that to be in my obit.

What do you think?  Is passing with a sober life your goal?  Or is it still One Day at a Time?

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📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.