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Vacation is a dangerous time for those of us with problem drinking.  Vacation is a great time to suspend all the rules and drink as much as we want.  Hey, it's 5pm somewhere!  Am I right? Or am I right!  

On this episode of the Sober Friends podcast, Matt, Steve and John talk about the trap that vacation can cause for us.  It's a risky time because we have time on our hands.  We talk about how to overcome the temptation on vacation and have a plan:

• Get a list of phone numbers from people you can call, when your backside is on fire
• If out of the country, download apps that allow you to communicate over the internet
• Talk to family and friends and explain your situation and ask for support
• If you are involved in a 12 step program, go online or get booklets of meetings around your vacation spot

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The dictionary definitions of "Abstinence" and "Sobriety" look very similar.  For the purpose of living a happy, joyous and free life in recovery, they can mean very different things.  

Overall, Matt, Steve and John identified Abstinent as being dry.  This is a state where alcohol has been removed but nothing has come in to replace it.  To get sober, you have to replace alcohol as the solution to your problems.  We drank because it numbed the pain or it enhanced the joy.  Being sober means that you can get through everyday life without leaning on the crutch of a drink

Matt, Steven and John talk about their own experiences being abstinent and being sober.

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Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

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For those of us with a drinking problem, one of the symptoms was isolation and putting up walls to drive others away.  Once some of us get sober we still have a hard time letting others in.  If you discovered what I really am like, you'd see I was a fraud, an awful person and someone you'd be repelled by.  Do you feel this way sometimes?

John, Steven and Matt discuss the inability to get intimate with our chosen pack and how not being able to get vulnerable an honest can have disastrous consequences on our sobriety.

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It’s so easy to focus on the bad stuff in life and even easier to correlate them. Matt has had some issues with his house and financing the repairs. At every corner, he’s run into roadblocks (see last week’s episode). Matt’s therapist posed a question:

“Have you considered a gratitude list?”

So instead of focusing on all the bad stuff, why not look at what good you still have?

In this episode of the Sober Friends podcast we talk about staying grateful when life gives you lemons and how you can deal with life on life’s terms.

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Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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Oh my!  Financial insecurity.  It's one of those fears that can make you drink and can derail any period of recovery.  One of the AA Promises says:

"Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us."

Does that mean if financial insecurity pops up again, you've been doing the program incorrectly?

Matt J has some financial issues lately.  Along with a lot going on at work and in his home life, the financial concerns of a home project have become overwhelming.  Instead of suffering in silence, he used this podcast as a way to help others.  Steve C joined the show and gave his perspective and advice including, "why not go to a few more meetings?"

Have you had fear of money?  Did this go away the longer you recovered?  Are you new and this is at the forefront of your concerns?  If you are in a 12 step program, where did the 4th, 5th, 8th and 9th steps come into play?

This is great episode that whatever your length of clean time, we know you can relate and find value!

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In this compelling episode of the Sober Friends podcast, join Matt, Steve, and John as they dive deep into a powerful story of overcoming addiction and finding hope. As a police officer, Steve shares candidly about the constant state of hypervigilance he experienced on the job and how it intertwined with symptoms of PTSD and alcoholism. From the early days of experimentation with alcohol to navigating college and beyond, Steve's journey sheds light on the complexities of addiction and the road to recovery. With vulnerability and honesty, he shares his struggles, including academic probation and job loss, painting a picture that many listeners can relate to. Whether you're a seasoned veteran of sobriety or just beginning your journey, Steve's story offers insight, inspiration, and a reminder that no matter where you are, you're not alone. Tune in to hear how Steve found strength and support to celebrate over 100 days of sobriety, proving that healing is possible, one day at a time.
Please subscribe, follow, listen, rate and share our show.

Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Support the show

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Today’s show is dedicated to the memory of Frank C. He helped so many in East Hartford, CT and the surrounding area.

When I got sober, I marveled at the old timer. They had respect of the room. They looked content and they were sober. Not just sober, really, really sober with a lot of years. How the hell did they do it? Was it the way they crossed their legs? I was determined to find out, because I wanted to be a geezer some day too!

There comes a time that the old timer who was there when you got sober, isn’t there anymore. Someone I trust and adore in my meetings said, “Keep making friends in the program because you don’t know when the current ones we have will leave us.

If the 12 steps and meetings are a part of your recovery, I’m sure you will identify with this show.

Please subscribe, follow, listen, rate and share our show.

Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

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The episode is sponsored by Victor, who became a member at Buy Me a Coffee and agreed to do so each month.  With people like Victor, we can remain self supporting through our own contributions and bring the message to the new guy.

Arlina Allen is the host of the One Day at a Time Podcast.  You can find her at https://odaatchat.com/ or wherever you get your podcasts.

In this show Arlina talks about

• Bottles, bags and blue jeans
• Change in AA
• The different paths of recovery

We had so much fun recording this one and you'll really enjoy listening too.

Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us Fan Mail

We got to know Danielle last week, as she reached out to the show on how to handle a disruptive alcoholic at a meeting.  After talking to her, we realized her story would really help the new guy as she brings a remarkable story of recovery.

Danielle started drinking, one year after her mother died of ovarian cancer at age 13.  She was always sad and played the victim card, not knowing how to fit in.  Danielle dealt with suicidal thoughts and had a terrible time asking for help.

In having a conversation with Danielle, she shared:

• How her husband got sober
• The challenges with getting a sponsor
• How her misery got her sober
• The steps she took to get women's meetings in prisons 
• Her service work

This is a powerful story of a woman successfully navigating recovery.

Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us Fan Mail

Our original intent with this episode was to talk about how we deal with active alcoholics, while now in recovery.  While soliciting some questions on Instagram, Danielle reached out with an issue she is having at her home group.  There is an active alcoholic who comes into the meeting and is disruptive.  This happens regularly.  She wanted some help on what to do in this situation.

If you attend 12 step meetings, this could be an issue that has come up.  If not, it may in the future and John, Steve and Matt talk about their experience and how best to handle the situation.

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.