SOLVED with Mark Manson

We all compare ourselves to other people—our friends, coworkers, strangers on the internet—and most of the time, it makes us feel like shit. But why do we keep doing it?

In this episode of Solved, we dig into the uncomfortable truth behind social comparison, how it quietly ruins our self-worth, and why most of what we envy in others is a projection of our own insecurity.

We also get into the brutal paradox of success, the toxic loop of chasing status, and how the constant measurement of our lives against others is one of the dumbest things we do as a species. If you’ve ever felt not good enough, or like you’re falling behind, this one’s for you.

Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/socialcomparison

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:05:29 Evolutionary Roots
• 00:16:20 The Emotional Toolkit
• 00:20:18 Philosophy and Social Comparison
• 00:23:31 The Buddhist Path
• 00:24:58 Aristotle
• 00:34:34 Stoicism
• 00:36:24 Existentialism
• 00:40:06 Myths
• 00:48:37 The Psychology of Social Comparison
• 00:58:54 Downward Comparison
• 01:22:19 Digital Technology and Social Comparison
• 01:44:20 The 80/20 of Managing Comparison
• 01:57:40 Hidden Costs
• 01:58:48 Takeaways

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Friendship is the most important thing nobody talks about. From ancient philosophy to game theory, we break down why friendship isn’t just some social nicety—it’s a biological survival strategy. Plus: the modern forces slowly strangling our ability to connect, and exactly what to do about it. You’ll walk away with a clearer sense of what real friendship looks like, how to build it, and how to stop shooting yourself in the foot every time you try.

Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/friendship

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:07:52 Friendship: an Evolutionary Puzzle
• 00:25:45 What Is Friendship?
• 00:27:11 Friendship in the Great Religious Traditions
• 00:37:21 Modern Psychology's Definition of Friendship
• 00:49:02 Your Brain On Friendship
• 01:03:34 The Neurobiology of Connection
• 01:22:48 Health Benefits of Friendship
• 01:33:11 How to Make and Maintain Friendships
• 01:35:19 Proximity and Repeated Contact and Reciprocal Disclosure
• 01:53:51 Time investment (quantity and cadence)
• 01:58:15 Evidence-Based Strategies for Making Friends
• 02:07:46 Examples Of Making Friends
• 02:26:50 How Friendship Changes Across the Lifespan
• 02:54:18 Gender Dynamics in Friendships
• 03:09:39 Can Men And Women Be Friends?
• 03:16:39 Toxic Friendships
• 03:17:41 Competitive Friendship
• 03:21:18 Codependency
• 03:34:45 Why It's So Hard to Make Friends These Days
• 03:35:48 External Headwinds: Why Getting Together Is Hard
• 03:53:18 Internal Frictions: Why Staying Equal Feels Impossible
• 04:02:45 Technology's Double-Edged Impact on Human Connection
• 04:11:19 Mark's LA Story
• 04:20:21 The 80/20 of Friendship
• 04:30:33 The Trade-Offs of Friendship

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What does it actually mean to live like a Stoic? In this wide-ranging conversation with bestselling author and modern Stoicism evangelist Ryan Holiday, we unpack the origins of Stoic philosophy, why it exploded during turbulent times in ancient Greece and Rome, and how its principles—like courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom—still apply in a world filled with chaos, anxiety, and uncertainty. From shipwrecked merchants to emperors journaling their fears, this episode explores why some of the most powerful figures in history turned to Stoicism not just for answers—but for survival.

We also dig into how Stoicism overlaps with modern psychology, why it’s gaining traction among young men, and whether its rising popularity is being misunderstood or misused. If you’ve ever wondered whether Stoicism means being emotionless, if it’s compatible with ambition, or if it actually makes you a better person, this episode is your one-stop masterclass.

Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/stoicism

⇨ Order Ryan Holiday’s new book, Wisdom Takes Work: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Takes-Work-Repeat-Virtues/dp/0593191730

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:02:49 Setting the Scene: Ancient Greece After Alexander
• 00:06:44 The Story of Zeno: Founder of Stoicism
• 00:13:58 The Four Stoic Virtues
• 00:44:20 Virtue 1: Courage
• 00:53:17 Virtue 2: Temperance (Discipline)
• 01:05:01 Virtue 3: Justice
• 01:08:51 Virtue 4: Wisdom
• 01:25:51 Roman Conquest and the Spread of Stoicism
• 01:33:10 Cato the Younger: The Stoic Martyr
• 01:39:06 Seneca: The Conflicted Philosopher
• 01:55:50 Epictetus: The Slave Philosopher
• 02:07:28 Marcus Aurelius: The Philosopher Emperor
• 02:20:18 Stoicism Through History
• 02:32:45 Stoicism and Modern Psychology
• 02:41:09 The Modern Stoicism Revival
• 02:50:06 Final Thoughts and Recommendations

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Resilience isn’t about pretending you’re fine or never feeling pain—it’s about learning how to act in your best interest despite the pain. In this episode of Solved, we dive deep into the science, psychology, and real-life examples of resilience—from Ernest Shackleton’s crew surviving two years stranded in Antarctica to my own slightly insane decision to run an endurance race with basically no training. Spoiler: I didn’t die.

We cover it all: the biology of resilience, why some people are “dandelions” and thrive anywhere while others are “orchids” who need the right environment, the mindsets that let you push through hardship without losing your mind, and why humor and community might secretly be your best survival tools. And of course, we deliver the real, practical, evidence-based strategies you can actually apply when life inevitably decides to kick you in the teeth.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or like you can’t take one more setback, this episode is for you. And if you’re one of those psychos who enjoys doing hard sh*t just to see what you’re made of… well, you’ll feel right at home here.

Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/resilience⁠

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:04:44 Reframing Resilience — Definitions & Misconceptions
• 00:13:11 The Word That Started It All
• 00:16:30 Bounce Forward, Not Back
• 00:23:50 Developmental and Biological Foundations of Resilience
• 00:29:26 The Evolutionary Puzzle
• 00:38:54 Biological & Physiological Foundations
• 00:44:45 Training Your Brain to Be More Resilient
• 00:48:43 The HPA Axis: Our Central Stress Response System
• 00:51:19 Heart Rate Variability: The Resilience Rhythm
• 00:54:32 Physiological Interventions
• 01:00:07 Gut-Brain Axis
• 01:17:17 Psychological, Philosophical & Evidence-Based Frameworks
• 01:20:19 The 5 Mindsets of Resilience
• 01:21:46 Mindset #1: Anything Is Possible
• 01:38:22 Mindset #2: Stories Are Just Stories
• 01:44:16 MIndset #3: Focus on What You Control
• 01:58:55 Mindset #4: Make It Fun
• 02:10:34 Mindset #5: Assume a Resilient Identity
• 02:20:21 Pheidippides
• 02:27:00 Sociocultural & Community Dimensions
• 02:37:40 Social Connection and Resilience: Why Strong People Don't Go It Alone
• 02:45:33 Blitz Spirit: Myth vs Reality
• 02:48:23 How to Build Your Resilient Circle
• 02:57:28 The 80/20 of Becoming More Resilient
• 03:11:36 The Hidden Costs of Resilience
• 03:22:25 What We Learned

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Chances are, there’s something in your life you feel deeply ashamed about—something you’ve never told anyone, something you can’t even admit to yourself. In this episode, we go deep into the emotion we all experience but almost no one wants to talk about: shame. Where it comes from, why it’s so powerful, how it screws up our lives—and more importantly, how to deal with it.

We cover the biology of shame, the psychology, the evolutionary roots, and how modern life (especially the internet) completely messes with our shame systems. We talk about healthy vs. toxic shame, how it shows up in addiction, relationships, perfectionism, and self-sabotage, and why most of us either try to hide from it or end up being controlled by it. You’ll also hear from members of my team about how shame shaped their lives in surprising ways.

As always, this episode is brutally honest, deeply researched, and sprinkled with a few bad jokes. But more than anything, I hope it gives you the awareness—and the tools—to start facing whatever it is you’ve been avoiding. Because you can’t outrun your shame. But you can learn to live with it.

Get your free PDF guide: ⁠⁠https://solvedpodcast.com/shame

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:04:35 Shame's Hidden Architecture
• 00:14:38 Key Definitions
• 00:18:32 Distinguishing Shame from Guilt
• 00:20:49 State Shame vs. Trait Shame
• 00:21:47 Shame vs. Embarrassment and Humiliation
• 00:24:03 Shame, Trauma, and their Interrelationship
• 00:25:14 The Neurobiology of Shame
• 00:29:56 The Shame Spiral
• 00:36:04 The Learning Paradox of Shame
• 00:44:12 The Shame Compass
• 00:47:33 Personal Experiences with Shame
• 00:49:21 Workaholism as a Coping Mechanism
• 00:59:13 The Allure of Shamelessness
• 01:01:15 Individual, Familial, & Cultural Sources of Shame
• 01:11:05 Geographical Impact on Shame
• 01:13:08 Cultural Values and Shame
• 01:14:35 How the Greater Culture Shapes Shame
• 01:26:12 Digital Technology & Shame 2.0
• 01:28:02 The Digital Divide
• 01:31:05 The Relationship Between Technology and Anxiety
• 01:33:55 Protection Strategies
• 01:39:21 Developmental Stages of Shame
• 01:40:19 Understanding the Origin of Shame
• 01:42:57 The Role of Parenting in Shame Development
• 01:56:49 How Therapy Transformed Our Understanding of Shame
• 02:01:06 Carl Rogers and the Safety Revolution
• 02:07:31 Albert Ellis and the Cognitive Revolution
• 02:11:58 The Influence of Albert Ellis and Carl Rogers
• 02:13:31 The Emergence of Reparenting and Inner Child Work
• 02:17:18 The Rise of Internal Family System
• 02:27:59 Tools to Address Your Shame
• 02:40:19 Stoic Principles for Perspective
• 02:47:05 Perspective Shifting Techniques
• 02:58:26 Tuning Your Shame System
• 03:10:39 Recognizing Unsustainable Shame Patterns
• 03:16:28 Kristen Neff's Self-Compassion Framework
• 03:25:33 Understanding Shame as Obsession and Resentment
• 03:29:53 Overcoming Shame and Personal Growth
• 03:31:39 Takeaways from the Discussion on Shame
• 03:40:40 Conclusion

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Everyone’s obsessed with being happy—but what if that obsession is the very thing making us miserable? Drew and I explore what actually makes us feel good—and why most of us are chasing it in all the wrong ways.

We unpack what philosophers like Aristotle and the Buddha got right thousands of years ago—and how modern science is just now catching up. We talk about hedonic vs. eudaimonic happiness, why more money and status don’t necessarily move the needle, and why most self-help advice completely misses the point. Happiness isn’t something you get. It’s a side effect of doing the right things for the right reasons.

So, if you're tired of chasing "more" and ready to actually feel a little less miserable, this one’s for you.

Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/happiness

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:01:42 Is Happiness the Right Goal?
• 00:11:22 The Origins of Human Happiness
• 00:11:44 Hedonia vs Eudaimonia
• 00:15:51 Epicureanism
• 00:24:00 Eastern Perspectives
• 00:27:55 Modern Happiness Research
• 00:30:10 The WEIRD Problem: When Happiness Research Goes West
• 00:41:27 The Three Components of Happiness
• 00:47:24 Hedonic Adaptation
• 01:00:34 What Does—and Doesn't—Make Us Happy
• 01:01:16 Drugs and Alcohol
• 01:08:03 Sex
• 01:15:49 Money
• 01:23:50 Fame and Status
• 01:34:40 Physical Attractiveness
• 01:38:06 Geography and Environment
• 01:40:31 Love and Relationships
• 01:41:59 Friendships
• 01:44:44 Having Children
• 01:49:50 The Experiencing vs. Remembering Self
• 01:53:33 Baseline vs. Circumstantial vs. Intentional Happiness – Where to Focus
• 01:54:15 Genetics
• 02:00:30 Circumstances
• 02:02:56 Intentional Actions
• 02:06:54 Relationships
• 02:11:31 Gratitude
• 02:13:53 Altruism
• 02:19:27 Experiences vs. Stuff
• 02:22:52 Implementing Intentional Happiness
• 02:25:02 Chapter 6: Don't Pursue Happiness; Remove Unhappiness
• 02:29:45 Social Comparison
• 02:32:10 Maximizers vs. Satisficers
• 02:34:40 How Happiness Changes Across the Lifespan
• 02:52:24 Happiness Myths
• 03:05:28 The 80/20 Guide to Happiness
• 03:17:03 Lessons Learned

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What are emotions? Why do we feel anything at all? And more importantly — can we actually get better at feeling?

In this episode, Drew and I dive headfirst into what might be the hardest question in all of psychology: what the actual f**k are emotions? We break down the biology, neuroscience, evolution, culture, and even language that shape how we feel — and why we often don’t understand what the hell is going on inside us. From ancient philosophy to brain scans, this is a deep (and occasionally weird) look into the emotional chaos that makes us human.

We unpack everything from the origins of emotional intelligence (spoiler: it might be BS) to the science of emotional regulation, attachment styles, and the sneaky ways your culture wires your emotional defaults. Along the way, we explore why some relationships make you feel like a better person while others drain the life out of you, and how trauma, genetics, and childhood with your ability to keep it together.

But this episode isn’t just about understanding emotions — it’s about learning how to work with them. And we give you a full emotional toolkit: a set of evidence-based tools to help you manage your emotions, build better relationships, feel more motivated, and yes — even feel more confident in yourself in the process.

Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/emotions

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:04:47 What Are Emotions?
• 00:14:04 The Emotional Brain
• 00:22:03 Neurotransmitters
• 00:34:25 Evolution of Emotions
• 00:39:53 How Life Experiences Shape Emotional Regulation
• 00:48:41 Conclusion on What are Emotions
• 00:49:45 How Culture Influences Our Emotions
• 00:55:44 Vietnam Bike Story
• 01:00:05 Your Culture Trains You to Want Certain Feelings
• 01:06:00 Culture Decides Whether Suppression is a Superpower or a Liability
• 01:07:56 Paradox of Emotional Conformity
• 01:16:36 How Language Shapes What You Feel
• 01:29:23 Emotional Complexity
• 01:36:25 Your Emotions Are Social Currency
• 01:43:00 Conclusion to Culture defines our emotions
• 01:44:08 Historical and Philosophical Traditions on Emotions
• 01:57:21 Modern Culture
• 01:59:00 The Four Schools of Emotional Regulation
• 02:00:56 The Heart
• 02:08:55 The Head
• 02:18:37 The Soul
• 02:28:50 The Body
• 02:36:23 The Integrated Toolkit
• 02:48:25 Brilliant or Bullshit: Emotional Intelligence
• 02:57:31 Relationships and Emotional Regulation
• 03:09:54 Attachment Theory
• 03:27:29 Toxic Relationship
• 03:36:49 Building Emotional Compatibility
• 03:51:24 Conclusion Relationships
• 03:57:24 The 80/20 of Emotions

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From Plato and Aristotle to Freud and modern research, we break down why we delay the things that matter most—and how to actually stop. This isn't a “just set a timer” productivity talk. We’re diving deep into shame, identity, perfectionism, culture, and why procrastination is ultimately a *skill issue*, not a moral failure.

We cover things like: How humans have thought about putting things off for over 2000 years, the real reason you avoid the most important tasks in your life, why “I work better under pressure” is (usually) BS, why self-compassion is actually more motivating than guilt, tons of practical, research-backed strategies you can start using todayAnd much, much, much more.

Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/procrastination

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:01:05 Episode Roadmap
• 00:08:20 What exactly is procrastination?
• 00:15:50 Plato's Thoughts on Procrastination
• 00:24:07 The Buddhist & Confucian Views on Procrastination
• 00:26:19 Aristotle's Take on Procrastination
• 00:33:50 Christianity and Procrastination
• 00:46:53 Self-Compassion and Procrastination
• 00:58:45 The Reformation and Procrastination
• 01:04:25 Freud's Influence on Psychology
• 01:06:40 Pleasure Principle and Reality Principle
• 01:08:13 Id, Ego, and Superego
• 01:10:26 Defense Mechanisms
• 01:17:20 Adopting Habits as Identity
• 01:23:05 The Influence of Childhood and Parenting on Procrastination
• 01:33:42 Behaviorism
• 01:41:21 Environmental Design
• 01:46:10 Thriving Under Pressure: A Critique
• 01:52:10 Expectation, Pressure, and Procrastination
• 01:54:06 Critique of Behaviorism
• 01:59:20 Time Management
• 02:07:33 Knowledge vs Emotion in Procrastination
• 02:16:43 Mark and Drew's Personal Productivity Systems
• 02:20:37 Deep Work and Task Management
• 02:23:12 Productivity System for ADHD
• 02:29:26 Productive Procrastination
• 02:34:22 Importance of Task Completion
• 02:36:51 Existentialism and Purpose
• 02:44:21 Purpose and Motivation
• 02:53:40 Temporal Motivation Theory
• 02:57:39 Limitations of Temporal Motivation Theory
• 02:59:22 The Role of Technology in Procrastination
• 03:07:10 The Dynamic Nature of Temporal Motivation Theory
• 03:10:59 Critique of Temporal Motivation Theory
• 03:16:41 Emotional Regulation Theory of Procrastination
• 03:20:27 Understanding Emotional Regulation
• 03:23:04 Managing Emotions and Environment
• 03:28:09 Introduction to the RAIN Method
• 03:31:07 The Six Types of Procrastinators
• 03:40:21 The 80-20 of Procrastination
• 03:46:21 Strategic Use of Friction
• 03:56:11 Gamifying Tasks to Make Them More Interesting
• 03:58:49 The Impact of Environment on Productivity
• 04:01:07 The Role of Purpose in Overcoming Procrastination
• 04:06:06 The Concept of "Minimum Viable Action"
• 04:11:26 Addressing Underlying Emotions to Overcome Procrastination
• 04:16:06 Leveraging Human Nature and Rewards
• 04:20:06 The Social Aspect of Overcoming Procrastination
• 04:21:19 Productive Procrastination: A Double-Edged Sword
• 04:22:32 The Hidden Costs of Overcoming Procrastination
• 04:39:12 Conclusion

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Welcome to the first episode of the Solved Podcast. Today, we are solving your values.

Over eight years ago, I wrote The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck—a book that, underneath all the swearing and irreverence, was really about one thing: values. What do you care about? What’s actually worth your time, your energy, your life?

So in this kickoff episode of SOLVED, Drew and I are going deep into why your values are the foundation of everything—your happiness, your mental health, your relationships, your sense of meaning—and why so many of us today feel so lost.

We break down the difference between chasing cheap dopamine hits and building real fulfillment, why not all values are created equal, how to figure out what your true values are, how to change your values, how to start living out your values more fully, and how values silently shape your decisions and relationships every day. If you’ve ever felt stuck, directionless, or like you’re living someone else’s life, this episode is the wake-up call you need. It’s time to stop drifting through life and start giving a fck about the right things. Forget the rest. Welcome to SOLVED.

Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/values

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Welcome to SOLVED
• 00:09:31 What are Values?
• 00:10:26 Characteristics of Values
• 00:14:23 Values vs. Psychological Needs vs. Preferences
• 00:23:06 Schwartz's Values Wheel
• 00:30:36 Instrumental and Terminal Values
• 00:32:15 Hierarchy of Values
• 00:38:35 Values Conflict
• 00:42:35 Carol Ryff's Six Dimensions of Psychological Well-being
• 00:57:01 Aristotle's Golden Mean as Virtue
• 01:05:01 Values and Your Relationships
• 01:22:56 The Clash of Values in Relationships
• 01:30:29 Identifying and Navigating Values in Relationships
• 01:34:40 Understanding Compatibility Through Values
• 01:37:25 Where Do Values Come From?
• 01:38:20 Margaret Mead's Cultural Relativism
• 01:47:55 Mary Douglas's and the Grid-Group Framework
• 01:56:20 Jonathan Haidt's Moral Foundations Theory
• 02:09:26 The Allegory of the Taco Truck
• 02:14:34 Identifying Your Core Values
• 02:16:58 Thought Experiments to Find Your Values
• 02:32:16 The Instrumental Value of Golf
• 02:41:45 The Role of Trauma in Value Change
• 02:48:53 How to Change Your Values
• 02:50:44 Kazimierz Dabrowski and Positive Disintegration
• 03:03:22 On Cults and Cognitive Dissonance
• 03:16:26 Self-Confrontation and Value Change
• 03:18:34 Charlie Munger's Maxim: Incentives and Behavior
• 03:21:56 Lessons and Takeaways
• 03:36:30 The 80/20 of Values

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New podcast launches May 1st! We'll be releasing on this same feed, so all you have to do is stay subscribed to this channel and you'll get all the new episodes as they come out.

***

After more than 70 episodes and 30 million downloads, I’ve decided to shut down The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast. Yeah, I know—sounds a little crazy. But the truth is, I wasn’t having fun anymore. The guest treadmill, the pressure to play nice, the temptation to chase clicks instead of meaning—it all started to feel fake. So, I’m pulling the plug.

BUT—I’m not going away. I’m launching something new. It’s called Solved—a no-ads, no-guests, deep-dive podcast where each episode tackles one major life topic and breaks it down thoroughly. Think: values, emotions, procrastination—done right, from every angle, with real research and clear implementation. It’s the podcast I wish already existed. So I’m making it. First episode drops May 1 st!

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