Why can’t we just do the things we know we should do? It’s a simple question with a very complex answer.

To help us answer it, I sat down with my old friend, Nir Eyal, a behavioral design expert and author of the best-selling book, Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life.

I love Nir’s approach because he doesn’t linger on the surface of the problem of distraction by hocking the latest app or hack or fancy new time management method. Instead, he dives right into the thorny emotional realities we all face in trying to lead productive, meaningful lives.

In this episode, we talk about what it means to be “indistractable” and how it’s probably the most important skill of the 21st century. We also get Nir’s take on the role of social media in our lives (his views on this might surprise you). And finally, he answers that timeless question: Why don’t we just do what we know we should do?

Enjoy.

About Nir Eyal

Nir Eyal writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, technology, and business. Nir previously taught as a Lecturer in Marketing at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford.

He is the author of two bestselling books, Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products, and Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. His books have resonated with readers worldwide, selling over 1 million copies in over 30 languages.

Nir’s book, Indistractable: http://geni.us/indistractable

Nir on time boxing: https://www.nirandfar.com/timeboxing/

Nir on values: https://www.nirandfar.com/common-values/

Nir’s free schedule maker: https://www.nirandfar.com/schedule-maker/

More articles by Nir: https://www.nirandfar.com/best-articles/

Follow Nir on social media:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/nireyal/

https://www.youtube.com/user/nirandfar

https://twitter.com/nireyal

https://www.facebook.com/nirandfar/

http://instagram.com/neyal99

2:02 The F*ck of the Week: Becoming Indistractable

23:04 Brilliant or Bullsh*t: The Social Dilemma

44:20 Q&A: How do I get myself to do the things I know I should do?

Theme music: “Icarus Lives” by Periphery, used with permission from Periphery.

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How many f*cks should we give about politics? What’s driving the widening ideological gap between young men and women? And is the world truly and utterly f*cked beyond all recognition?

In this episode, we talk politics without really talking politics. We cover how to stay up-to-date on current events without going insane, what history can teach us about the present, the real downside to TikTok’s invasion of—well, everything—and why there is still reason to hold out hope, even when it seems like the world is going straight to hell.

Check it out.

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Chapters

01:17 The F*ck of the Week: Politics

16:24 Brilliant or Bullsh*t: Is TikTok Ruining Politics AND Dating?

32:24 Q&A: Is Everything Just F*cked?

Theme song: Icarus Lives by Periphery, used with permission from Periphery.

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Cutting off bad or toxic parents is all the rage in some pockets of the internet these days—but have we lowered the bar a little too much for what makes a parent “toxic”? How can we navigate and own up to the hard conversations we need to have with the people closest to us? And is there a silver lining for putting up with family members who drive us absolutely f*cking insane?

Join us on today’s pod as we get a little squirmy in our chairs while we tackle these issues. Drew squashes some beefs, Mark sniffs out some of the bullshit around cutting people off, and we answer one of your questions about dealing with those crazy people you just can’t get away from: your family.

Enjoy.

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Theme Song: Icarus Lives by Periphery, used with permission from Periphery.

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The quality of your life often comes down to the quality of the relationships you have. That’s why we’re giving a huge f*ck about friendship this week.

While the benefits of having good friends are pretty obvious, the cost of maintaining friendships is often overlooked by a lot of people. We dive into that, plus some advice on when you should and shouldn’t cut off people in your life, and how friends and romantic partners really impact our happiness.

Check it out.

Here’s the paper we discuss:People perceive parasocial relationships to be effective at fulfilling emotional needs

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person:https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

If you’d like to submit a question for us to consider, you can leave it in the comments below or email it to[email protected]

Theme Music: "Icarus Lives" byPeriphery

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Are you addicted to self-improvement? Are experts really any better than the rest of us at knowing how to make positive changes in our lives? What are some common pieces of life advice that just don't seem to work?

Drew and I tackle all of these questions today in our brand new, updated format for the pod. Find out why self-help can turn into pseudo-religion (and why we should bring back exorcisms), whether or not a huge mega-study by a bunch of fancy experts can tell us anything about behavioral change, and some common self-improvement tropes that just don't do it for us.

Here's the study we discuss:Megastudies improve the impact of appliedbehavioural science

Let us know what you think of the new show format in the comments below.

And sign up for Your Next Breakthrough, my weekly newsletter that will help you be a slightly less awful person:https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Got a question for us? Leave it in the comments below or send it to[email protected]

Theme song is "Icarus Lives" by Periphery.

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Steven Pressfield was 52 years old when he published his first hit novel, The Legend of Bagger Vance. Prior to that, he wrote tirelessly for decades in obscurity, supporting himself with odd jobs along the way.

After writing several more novels and movie scripts, he distilled all of his wisdom into The War of Art, his now-famous treatise on the grinding process of creativity.

Now in his 80s, Steven looks back on his work and life with a clear-eyed view of what it truly means to make it as a creative professional. In this episode, he explains why he persisted writing for decades with little to show for it, how he compensated for his own lack of talent, why creating great art is actually a grueling war fought within the artist’s own mind, and much, much more.

Enjoy.

Steven’s new book, The Daily Pressfield

All of Steven Pressfield's Books

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We often think self-discipline requires massive action and a lot of pain and sacrifice—but the reality is a lot more boring. Today, we tackle some common misconceptions about self-discipline, arguing that real change comes from setting up your environment for success, not grinding through endless struggle.

We explore the hidden dangers of romanticizing pain and why true self-discipline is more about boring consistency than epic feats of endurance. Hopefully, this episode challenges you to rethink how you approach your goals and habits. If you're ready to stop punishing yourself and start seeing real, lasting change, you won’t want to miss this.

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help you be a less awful person:https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

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It’s bonus episode time! Today, I’m doing a Q&A with questions you’ve all submitted. We dive into how I’ve changed my mind, bad habits, regrets, dead dreams, advice to young people, meditation, and a whole lot more.

Submit your questions for future podcasts in the comments or email them to [email protected].

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help you be a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

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How do you find your way in a world where even when you do everything right, the odds keep getting stacked against you? My guest today, Cady Coleman, shares how she navigated the male-dominated fields of science, the Air Force, and NASA, breaking down barriers with tenacity and grace.

From her time on the International Space Station to the release of her first book, Sharing Space, Cady’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of mission, adaptability, and the unwavering belief in one’s potential, even when the world around you says otherwise.

Check it out.

Cady’s Book, Sharing Space: https://www.amazon.com/Sharing-Space-Astronauts-Mission-Wonder/dp/0593494016

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will make you a slightly less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

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We all wish we gave fewer f*cks in our lives, but wanting to and doing it are two different things. If you've read my book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, then you know that not giving a f*ck doesn't mean you don't care about anything—it means deliberately choosing what you give a f*ck about and ignore the rest.

In this episode, we dive into the realities of not giving f*ck, the good and the bad. We talk about why there will never be a time when you're completely free from judgement by others. Why being "normal"—whatever that means—is not something to aspire to, nor is wanting to be liked by everyone. How criticism is a part of life you can't escape—but not all criticism is created equal. And a whole lot more.

Check it out.

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough, to be a slightly less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

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