SOLVED with Mark Manson

Today, we’re diving deep into the subtle difference between a healthy routine and a rut. How can you tell if your daily grind is keeping you grounded… or just grinding you down?

Next, we tackle the question of boredom: Why does it feel so unbearable, and could we actually be missing out on its hidden perks? Spoiler alert—boredom might just be the key to unlocking your most creative, inspired self.

Finally, we confront one of life’s biggest dilemmas: When is it time to walk away, and when should you double down? Whether it’s a project that’s going nowhere or a relationship that feels like it’s on life support, we’ll give you insights on knowing when to quit and when to stick it out.

Enjoy.

Brilliant or Bullshit Paper: Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4330241/

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Am I Becoming a Boring Person?
• 00:01:11 When Does a Routine Become a Rut?
• 00:02:53 The Alcohol Factor: Craving Novelty vs. Craving Stability
• 00:03:41 Fear vs. Optimization: Defining the Difference
• 00:04:22 The Immanuel Kant Paradox: Genius in Repetition
• 00:07:07 The Four Stages of Life: From Mimicry to Legacy
• 00:09:53 Marriage Problems and the Say Yes Strategy
• 00:13:54 The Seasonality of Chaos: Flipping the Card Green
• 00:16:44 Is It Brilliant or Bullshit: The Electric Shock Study
• 00:18:11 Why Boredom Is Actually Painful
• 00:24:18 Raw Dogging Flights: The New Machismo
• 00:26:25 Boredom as Competitive Advantage
• 00:27:44 Q and A: The Rules of Quitting—When to Quit and When to Grit
• 00:28:54 The Momentum Test: Is Your Rock Going Uphill or Downhill?
• 00:31:03 The Bukowski Exception: When Outliers Break the Rules
• 00:31:46 Creative Pursuits vs. Professional Pursuits: Different Equations
• 00:33:04 The Tim Ferriss Question: Where Does Failure Teach You Most?
• 00:35:01 Relationships and the Rock Going Downhill
• 00:37:14 Hard Work Redefined: When 12 Hours Feels Easier Than 4
• 00:39:25 The Grammy Winner Who Never Felt Burnt Out
• 00:42:04 Grit Only Works in the Right Direction
• 00:42:34 Wisdom of the Week: Escalators and the Art of Quitting

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Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

What are you called to do in life? What is your life’s task? And once you figure that out, how do you pursue it?

The one and only Robert Greene sat down with us on the pod to talk about all of these questions and a whole more.

We discuss finding and pursuing one’s life task, the nature and causes of “Peter Pan Syndrome”, science vs timeless wisdom on life, figuring out what do in midlife after you’ve taken the wrong path, and a much more.

Enjoy.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Robert Greene in the Flesh
• 00:00:43 The Resurgence of The 48 Laws of Power
• 00:05:57 The Dark Side vs. The Real Robert
• 00:08:11 The Theatrical Nature of Social Life
• 00:09:22 Finding Your Life's Task: Robert's Journey
• 00:12:58 Reading the Signs: Positive and Negative Feedback
• 00:15:10 Persistence vs. Knowing When to Pivot
• 00:18:00 The Pain You Enjoy: Finding Your True Work
• 00:21:43 Reconnecting With Your Life's Task
• 00:25:25 The Five Forms of Intelligence
• 00:29:13 Brilliant or Bullshit: Peter Pan Syndrome
• 00:32:00 The Problem With Positive Masculinity
• 00:37:33 Too Much Talking, Not Enough Acting
• 00:38:23 Life as a Game: Get Out and Play
• 00:42:25 Listener Questions: Science vs. Timeless Wisdom
• 00:44:06 The Problem With Big Data and Algorithms
• 00:51:09 Starting Over at 35: Building From What You Have
• 00:57:00 The Midlife Crisis: Is This It?
• 01:00:37 Finding the Sublime: Robert's Next Book
• 01:03:26 Closing Thoughts and What's Next

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Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

It's hard enough to change, but why it is so hard to maintain that change too? How might psychedelics facilitate big changes in our lives? And how can young men find healthy role models in the modern world?

In this week's pod, we cover my current struggles around keeping a healthy diet and lifestyle, how psychedelics might actually scramble your brain (in a good way), and why so many young men are struggling to find a place in the world today.

Enjoy.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Men's Groups and the Weight Struggle
• 00:01:07 The Two Levels of Failure: Emotion vs. Narrative
• 00:02:33 Mark's Personal Weight Journey: Five Years and 60 Pounds
• 00:03:43 The Training Wheels Come Off: Old Habits Creeping Back
• 00:05:29 Food Addiction: The One Area That Won't Quit
• 00:07:13 Relapses Are Part of Recovery: Brandon Novak and the Process
• 00:13:20 Brilliance or Bullshit: Psychedelics and Brain Rewiring
• 00:15:32 Neuroplasticity and the Promise of Psychedelics
• 00:18:12 Psychedelics as Tools: Set, Setting, and Intention Matter
• 00:22:04 The Dark Side: When Psychedelics Make You Believe Everything
• 00:24:33 Audience Question: Growing Up Without a Father Figure
• 00:26:01 The Male Role: Be Useful and Add Value
• 00:28:08 Men Are Disposable: Make Yourself Indispensable
• 00:29:54 The Absent Father Crisis and Its Consequences
• 00:33:26 Finding Role Models Online: Navigating the Manosphere
• 00:34:55 The Andrew Tate Test: Turn Off the Sound and Watch Their Face
• 00:37:26 Wisdom of the Week: The Buddha on Self-Conquest
• 00:37:39 Closing Thoughts and How to Reach the Show

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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson
Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Why can’t we just do the things we know we should do? It’s a simple question with a very complex answer.

To help us answer it, I sat down with my old friend, Nir Eyal, a behavioral design expert and author of the best-selling book, Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life.

I love Nir’s approach because he doesn’t linger on the surface of the problem of distraction by hocking the latest app or hack or fancy new time management method. Instead, he dives right into the thorny emotional realities we all face in trying to lead productive, meaningful lives.

In this episode, we talk about what it means to be “indistractable” and how it’s probably the most important skill of the 21st century. We also get Nir’s take on the role of social media in our lives (his views on this might surprise you). And finally, he answers that timeless question: Why don’t we just do what we know we should do?

Enjoy.

About Nir Eyal

Nir Eyal writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, technology, and business. Nir previously taught as a Lecturer in Marketing at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford.

He is the author of two bestselling books, Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products, and Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. His books have resonated with readers worldwide, selling over 1 million copies in over 30 languages.

Nir’s book, Indistractable: http://geni.us/indistractable

Nir on time boxing: https://www.nirandfar.com/timeboxing/

Nir on values: https://www.nirandfar.com/common-values/

Nir’s free schedule maker: https://www.nirandfar.com/schedule-maker/

More articles by Nir: https://www.nirandfar.com/best-articles/

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: The Writing Partnership That Solved Distraction
• 00:02:32 What Is Indistractable? The Skill of the Century
• 00:05:32 Traction vs. Distraction: The Power of Intent
• 00:08:41 Internal Triggers: The Real Source of 90% of Distractions
• 00:10:24 Self-Awareness and the Path to Mastering Internal Triggers
• 00:12:22 Everything You Do Is About Escaping Discomfort
• 00:14:18 Why We Can't Sit Still: The Evolutionary Purpose of Boredom
• 00:16:10 The Goldilocks Zone of Pain and the Recipe for Burnout
• 00:18:27 Make Time for Traction: Why You Can't Call Something a Distraction
• 00:19:56 Time Boxing vs. To-Do Lists: The Productivity Debate
• 00:22:00 Brilliant or Bullshit: The Social Dilemma Documentary
• 00:22:58 The Social Media Debate: It's All Media, Not Just Social Media
• 00:29:47 The Three Psychological Nutrients Kids Are Missing
• 00:32:01 The Real Culprits: Standardized Testing, Hyper-Scheduling, and Lost Play
• 00:34:14 Video Games as Protection and the Myth of Stranger Danger
• 00:38:19 Legacy Media vs. New Media: Who's Really Causing Division?
• 00:42:37 Audience Question: How Do I Do What I Know I Should Do?
• 00:43:43 The Four Strategies in Action: From Internal Triggers to Pacts
• 00:45:06 The Right Metric of Success: Did I Work Without Distraction?
• 00:47:05 Mark's Struggle: Time Boxing vs. Word Count Goals
• 00:49:34 Be a Scientist, Not a Drill Sergeant: Flexibility in Time Boxing
• 00:52:14 Productivity Is Personal: Finding Your Optimal Tools
• 00:53:43 The Problem with Habits and Flow: Not Everything Can Be Easy
• 00:56:37 The 10-Minute Rule: Surfing the Urge to Distraction
• 00:59:03 Wisdom of the Week: The Cure for Boredom and Repeated Mistakes

Follow Nir on social media:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/nireyal/

https://www.youtube.com/user/nirandfar

https://twitter.com/nireyal

https://www.facebook.com/nirandfar/

http://instagram.com/neyal99

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Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

How many f*cks should we give about politics? What’s driving the widening ideological gap between young men and women? And is the world truly and utterly f*cked beyond all recognition?

In this episode, we talk politics without really talking politics. We cover how to stay up-to-date on current events without going insane, what history can teach us about the present, the real downside to TikTok’s invasion of—well, everything—and why there is still reason to hold out hope, even when it seems like the world is going straight to hell.

Check it out.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Election Fatigue and the Fuck of the Week
• 00:02:08 Why the Person Matters Less Than the Party
• 00:05:39 The Local vs. Global Problem: Where Your Attention Should Go
• 00:08:17 Bad News Finds You, Good News Requires Effort
• 00:11:43 The Marketing Machine Behind Political Narratives
• 00:15:25 Brilliant or Bullshit: The Gender Political Divide
• 00:17:14 TikTok's For You Feed and the Psychograph Revolution
• 00:25:41 The Service Economy and the End of Men
• 00:30:33 Political Polarization as the New Bigotry
• 00:33:04 Q&A: Are We Numb to Tragedy?
• 00:35:12 Why News Makes You Less Informed
• 00:37:19 Read History, Not Headlines: The Pandemic Example
• 00:41:34 News Recommendations and Finding Apolitical Sources
• 00:47:04 Wisdom of the Week: Nothing Is New Under the Sun

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Cutting off bad or toxic parents is all the rage in some pockets of the internet these days—but have we lowered the bar a little too much for what makes a parent “toxic”? How can we navigate and own up to the hard conversations we need to have with the people closest to us? And is there a silver lining for putting up with family members who drive us absolutely f*cking insane?

Join us on today’s pod as we get a little squirmy in our chairs while we tackle these issues. Drew squashes some beefs, Mark sniffs out some of the bullshit around cutting people off, and we answer one of your questions about dealing with those crazy people you just can’t get away from: your family.

Enjoy.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: The Art of Difficult Conversations
• 00:01:36 The Sibling Beef: When Shared History Divides
• 00:03:42 Different Childhoods Under the Same Roof
• 00:06:17 The Go First Principle: How to Start Hard Conversations
• 00:09:14 When Speaking Up Makes Things Worse
• 00:10:46 The Strategic Value of Picking Fights When You're Young
• 00:13:35 Building Trust Through Confrontation
• 00:14:29 Family Versus Friends: Why Stakes Change Everything
• 00:16:19 The Intimacy-Conflict Paradox
• 00:18:03 The Addiction to Confrontation
• 00:21:08 Brilliant or Bullshit: Cutting Off Your Parents
• 00:22:50 The Last Resort Standard: When to Actually Cut Contact
• 00:23:49 Managing Exposure: The Middle Ground Nobody Talks About
• 00:26:23 Concept Creep: When Everyone's a Narcissist
• 00:29:50 The Value of Friction: What We Lost by Living Apart
• 00:31:13 The Cutting Off Epidemic: Friends, Not Just Family
• 00:32:27 When Annoying Becomes Friendship
• 00:34:18 Toxic Versus a Toxic Moment
• 00:36:42 Reader Question: Breaking Free Without Abandoning Family
• 00:37:38 You Can't Save Your Family
• 00:46:43 The Fantasy of Being the Savior
• 00:40:53 When Success Makes You the Enemy
• 00:43:27 The Threat to Identity
• 00:45:03 Dealing with Familial Guilt
• 00:49:47 The Small Town Mentality: Don't Get Too Big
• 00:53:14 Wisdom of the Week: Tolstoy on Unhappy Families

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

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LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson
Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

The quality of your life often comes down to the quality of the relationships you have. That’s why we’re giving a huge f*ck about friendship this week.

While the benefits of having good friends are pretty obvious, the cost of maintaining friendships is often overlooked by a lot of people. We dive into that, plus some advice on when you should and shouldn’t cut off people in your life, and how friends and romantic partners really impact our happiness.

Check it out.

Here’s the paper we discuss:People perceive parasocial relationships to be effective at fulfilling emotional needs

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Mark’s Halloween Costume
• 00:01:34 The F*ck of the Week: How to Be a Better Friend
• 00:20:48 Brilliant or Bullsh*t: Cutting Off Parents, Family, or Friends
• 00:36:01 Q&A: Can You Be Happy Without Close Friends? Romantic Partners?

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠

FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
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Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠
LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Are you addicted to self-improvement? Are experts really any better than the rest of us at knowing how to make positive changes in our lives? What are some common pieces of life advice that just don't seem to work?

Drew and I tackle all of these questions today in our brand new, updated format for the pod. Find out why self-help can turn into pseudo-religion (and why we should bring back exorcisms), whether or not a huge mega-study by a bunch of fancy experts can tell us anything about behavioral change, and some common self-improvement tropes that just don't do it for us.

Here's the study we discuss: Megastudies improve the impact of appliedbehavioural science

Let us know what you think of the new show format in the comments below.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 New show format
• 00:03:15 The F*ck of the Week: When self-improvement turns into addiction (or a cult)
• 00:17:06 Brilliant or Bullshit? Do experts actually know what they're talking about?
• 00:31:13 Your Questions Answered: Life advice that doesn't work?

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠

FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
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LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Theme song is "Icarus Lives" by Periphery.

Steven Pressfield was 52 years old when he published his first hit novel, The Legend of Bagger Vance. Prior to that, he wrote tirelessly for decades in obscurity, supporting himself with odd jobs along the way.

After writing several more novels and movie scripts, he distilled all of his wisdom into The War of Art, his now-famous treatise on the grinding process of creativity.

Now in his 80s, Steven looks back on his work and life with a clear-eyed view of what it truly means to make it as a creative professional. In this episode, he explains why he persisted writing for decades with little to show for it, how he compensated for his own lack of talent, why creating great art is actually a grueling war fought within the artist’s own mind, and much, much more.

Enjoy.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:02:13 Persisting at writing... for decades
• 00:06:40 The Resistance
• 00:14:23 Patience when facing The Resistance
• 00:22:12 Is The Resistance actually a good thing?
• 00:26:52 Turning Pro
• 00:32:22 How much do hard work, skill, and talent matter?
• 00:40:48 Does great art require suffering?
• 00:44:57 How Steven's military experience influences his work
• 00:49:52 Honoring your muse
• 00:56:04 What writers can learn from advertising
• 00:58:08 The Daily Pressfield

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠

FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
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LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

We often think self-discipline requires massive action and a lot of pain and sacrifice—but the reality is a lot more boring. Today, we tackle some common misconceptions about self-discipline, arguing that real change comes from setting up your environment for success, not grinding through endless struggle.

We explore the hidden dangers of romanticizing pain and why true self-discipline is more about boring consistency than epic feats of endurance. Hopefully, this episode challenges you to rethink how you approach your goals and habits. If you're ready to stop punishing yourself and start seeing real, lasting change, you won’t want to miss this.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:03:11 Self-discipline is not the same as willpower
• 00:09:45 Self-discipline does not involve shaming yourself
• 00:15:39 Self-discipline is about self correction, not perfection"
• 00:22:16 Self-discipline is boring
• 00:29:18 Self-discipline involves forging new identities"

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠

FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠
Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠
LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson