SOLVED with Mark Manson

It’s bonus episode time! Today, I’m doing a Q&A with questions you’ve all submitted. We dive into how I’ve changed my mind, bad habits, regrets, dead dreams, advice to young people, meditation, and a whole lot more.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Tackling 1,200 Unanswered Questions
• 00:00:29 What I've Changed My Mind About: The Prevalence Inflation Hypothesis
• 00:02:35 Breaking Bad Habits: The Dark Valley Between Days 5 and 25
• 00:05:29 Dealing With Fame and Follower Counts
• 00:05:58 Biggest Regrets: Health, Relationships, and Being a Dick in Your 20s
• 00:08:08 Positive Thinking vs. Realistic Thinking: Clearing Up the Paradox
• 00:10:47 Parental Emotional Immaturity and Its Massive Effects
• 00:12:08 Relationship Advice: Marriage Is Underrated and Dating Culture Is Getting Worse
• 00:15:19 Would You Change Your Books? Subtle Art and Everything Is F*cked Reflections
• 00:16:21 Do You Still Want to Be a Rock Star? When Old Dreams Die
• 00:17:09 Free Will, David Goggins, and Measuring Success After Financial Freedom
• 00:20:40 Why the Hair? Premature Hair Envy Explained
• 00:21:36 Handling Grief: Losing a Brother to Depression and Addiction
• 00:23:40 What Do You Think About the Universe? A Cosmic Rant
• 00:26:41 Sexual Experience, Relationship Readiness, and Playing the Long Game
• 00:29:38 Advice for Teenagers: More Face-to-Face Socializing
• 00:30:57 Dealing With Adversity: When to Persist and When to Give Up
• 00:34:06 Moving On From a 24-Year Relationship and the BetterHelp Controversy
• 00:37:53 Meditation, Christianity, and the Best Business Advice: Be the Goose
• 00:40:09 Hustle Culture: It's a Skill, Not a Lifestyle
• 00:43:05 Living With ADHD: Caffeine, Meditation, and Doing Two Things at Once
• 00:46:45 Edgelord Maximus: A Gladiator-Style Sign-Off

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How do you find your way in a world where even when you do everything right, the odds keep getting stacked against you? My guest today, Cady Coleman, shares how she navigated the male-dominated fields of science, the Air Force, and NASA, breaking down barriers with tenacity and grace.

From her time on the International Space Station to the release of her first book, Sharing Space, Cady’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of mission, adaptability, and the unwavering belief in one’s potential, even when the world around you says otherwise.

Check it out.

Cady’s Book, Sharing Space: https://www.amazon.com/Sharing-Space-Astronauts-Mission-Wonder/dp/0593494016

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:01:46 Becoming an astronaut
• 00:05:56 Spacewalking
• 00:11:22 On being underestimated
• 00:14:28 Life's missions, big and small
• 00:16:19 Life on the International Space Station
• 00:22:18 A new way of looking at the world
• 00:29:41 Do astronauts feel more connected to the world?
• 00:32:43 How do you live in space with other people?
• 00:41:28 Coming back down
• 00:51:51 The state of the space program

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Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
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LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

We all wish we gave fewer f*cks in our lives, but wanting to and doing it are two different things. If you've read my book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, then you know that not giving a f*ck doesn't mean you don't care about anything—it means deliberately choosing what you give a f*ck about and ignore the rest.

In this episode, we dive into the realities of not giving f*ck, the good and the bad. We talk about why there will never be a time when you're completely free from judgement by others. Why being "normal"—whatever that means—is not something to aspire to, nor is wanting to be liked by everyone. How criticism is a part of life you can't escape—but not all criticism is created equal. And a whole lot more.

Check it out.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Mark goes to Europe and previews upcoming videos
• 00:05:10 If you wouldn't ask them for advice, then f*ck their criticism.
• 00:13:20 People will judge your for whatever you do or don't do. F*ck the people, do the thing.
• 00:22:55 To be liked by all is to be loved by none.
• 00:28:44 F*ck being normal.
• 00:37:30 Your vanity and anxiety are both liars.
• 00:42:42 You must give a f*ck about something more than the adversity you face.

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FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
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Brandon Novak showed all the signs of becoming a highly successful, rebellious young man. He was a professional skateboarder in his early teens, rubbing elbows with the likes of Bucky Lasek and Tony Hawk. In his late teens and twenties, he was a regular on world-famous TV shows like Viva La Bam and Jackass.

But drugs and alcohol were always lurking in the shadows for Novak, and he soon fell head-first into the dark trap of his addictions. He endured bouts of homelessness, committed every petty crime you could imagine, and even resorted to sex work to feed his addictions.

The stats would suggest Brandon Novak shouldn’t be sober right now. He probably shouldn’t even be alive. But not only is he alive with 9 years of sobriety under his belt, he’s found a deep and meaningful purpose in his life, running his own rehab centers and taking care of his elderly mother.

This is the hilarious and heartening story of how Brandon Novak turned it all around. And trust me, if he can do it, so can anyone else.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:05:25 What is it like reliving crazy stories?
• 00:07:46 What's your new definition of fun?
• 00:22:32 Brandon's early life
• 00:28:22 When did drugs really become a problem?
• 00:34:23 Why did rehab #13 work?
• 00:42:57 How can people help addicts?
• 00:44:31 Christopher F*cking Columbus of finding rock bottom
• 00:46:03 The fundamental unhealthy mindsets
• 00:52:31 Reflection on Jackass
• 00:56:48 Why Jackass couldn't be made today
• 01:00:46 Are addicts just trying to get the love they want?
• 01:06:26 Brandon's treatment centers
• 01:12:10 What people did for Novak along the way
• 01:14:13 What do you give too many fucks about?
• 01:17:26 What do you give too few fucks about?

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There are certain areas in life where trying harder only makes things worse. Trying to prove how likable and confident you are only makes you feel more unlikable and less confident. Trying to make someone love you only makes you feel more unlovable.

The solution to this conundrum is what’s known as “The Backwards Law”.

Simply put, The Backwards law states that desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience, while accepting a negative experience is a positive experience.

In this episode, Drew and I talk about five areas of life where doing less can actually reap massive benefits.

Enjoy.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 The Backwards Law: When Trying Makes Things Worse
• 00:02:00 Three Curves: How Effort and Reward Actually Work
• 00:06:02 Emotions: The Anxiety About Your Anxiety
• 00:10:15 Freedom: Why Commitment Sets You Free
• 00:11:08 Depth vs. Breadth: The Two Types of Freedom
• 00:19:07 Happiness Requires Struggle: Why Comfort Doesn't Work
• 00:23:37 Love: When It Becomes Dangerous
• 00:29:30 Respect: The Foundation of All Healthy Relationships
• 00:32:43 What Respect Actually Means: Time, Attention, and Equality
• 00:35:40 Why Internal States Don't Follow External Rules

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LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
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Is everything going to hell in a handcart because of smartphones and social media? In this episode, I sit down with NYU professor and bestselling author Jonathan Haidt to tackle this burning question.

Dr. Haidt makes a compelling case that our addiction to these devices is wreaking havoc on society, from mental health crises to political turmoil. But is it really all the smartphone’s fault? I'm not so sure it's quite that simple, so I wanted to dive deeper into the nuances.

We get into the nitty-gritty and I challenge some of Haidt’s claims, exploring questions like, why do these issues seem to hit the English-speaking world the hardest? Is this another moral panic, or is this time really different? We also discuss the differences in how smartphones affect various demographics and cultures, and why understanding these distinctions is crucial. Plus, we explore Jonathan’s practical and highly sensible recommendations for parents, educators, and policymakers.

Whether you’re a skeptic or a die-hard believer, this episode will make you rethink your relationship with the technology in our pockets.

Let's do this.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: Is It All the Smartphone's Fault?
• 00:04:00 The Great Rewiring of Childhood (2010-2015)
• 00:08:07 Why This Isn't Just Another Moral Panic
• 00:20:15 The Psychological Importance of Play
• 00:22:54 Educational Development vs. Psychological Development
• 00:25:48 Why Girls and Boys Are Affected Differently
• 00:27:59 Politics, Religion, and Who Gets Hit Hardest
• 00:31:31 The Moral Foundations Theory Connection
• 00:40:52 Why the Anglosphere Is Suffering Most
• 00:45:14 The Global Destruction of Human Capital
• 00:59:19 From Social Networks to Attention Slot Machines
• 01:05:09 TikTok and the Short-Form Video Catastrophe
• 00:51:47 Cigarettes vs. Alcohol: What Kind of Problem Is This?
• 00:53:56 The Case for Warning Labels and Age Gating
• 01:09:45 Prescription 1: No Phones in Schools
• 01:12:10 Prescription 2: No Social Media Before 16
• 01:16:20 Prescription 3: No Smartphones Before High School
• 01:19:03 Prescription 4: More Outdoor Play and Independence
• 01:22:00 Overcoming Community Judgment and Policy Solutions
• 01:25:29 The Path Forward: Identity Authentication and Collective Action

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FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
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LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Over the past 5 years, I’ve completely changed my relationship to my health. Prior to that, I was overweight, pre-diabetic, and having chest pains in my mid-30s. I thought maybe eating a salad once a week and going for a run every now then would take care of it. I was wrong.

Since then, I’ve lost 60 pounds (~30kg). I now enjoy exercising regularly and I eat healthy and nutritious foods. My daily life is much more physically active and I get way better sleep. I’m happy with my health now—but it took a long time to get here.

I’m not going to share a bunch of workout routines or complicated diets. What worked for me might not work for you. But I can share what I went through to get here in the hopes that you, too, might change how you think about your health and take it more seriously. Because at the end of the day, your health is definitely something you should give a f*ck about.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: The 60-Pound Journey and Why I'm Sharing This
• 00:02:40 Growing Up on the Standard American Diet
• 00:04:04 The Metabolism Crash: Gaining 50 Pounds in My Mid-30s
• 00:05:12 Chest Pains and the Doctor's Warning: You're a Ticking Time Bomb
• 00:06:55 Phase One: The Classic Approach and the First Plateau
• 00:08:45 The Delusion Problem: Why I Kept Lying to Myself
• 00:13:03 Hiring a Coach and the Game-Changing Power of Tracking
• 00:17:58 The Devastating Rebound: Gaining It All Back
• 00:20:32 Environment Is Everything: The Move to LA
• 00:25:53 The Genetic Revelation: You're Metabolically 60 Years Old
• 00:31:07 Breaking Through Plateaus: The Role of Coaching and Perspective
• 00:33:40 The Privilege Problem: Let's Talk About Access and Cost
• 00:34:37 Genetics, Sympathy, and the Addiction Parallel
• 00:38:47 The Virtuous Cycle: Optimizing for Longevity in My 40s
• 00:40:40 The Real Takeaway: It's About Habits, Lifestyle, Biology, and Psychology

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FOLLOW MARK
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Drew Binsky is a fearless traveler who's seen it all. From chatting with North Koreans in their homeland to dodging bombings in Somalia and volunteering in Syria in the middle of a civil war, Drew's adventures are nothing short of incredible. He's been to every country in the world, witnessing the most dangerous places and surviving a few close calls. Yet, his experiences have led him to a surprising conclusion: most people, most of the time, are good. Even in the direst circumstances, Drew finds that human resilience can prevail.

In our conversation, Drew shares why he's drawn to war zones and failed states, revealing the profound lessons he's learned from them. We discuss why you should never judge a country by the news you hear about it, how the most impactful trips are often the most challenging, and where to find the friendliest people on Earth. Drew also offers his top travel tips on spontaneity, connecting with locals, and what he looks for on his travel adventures. It's a deep dive into the heart of travel and human nature that might just inspire you to see the world a little differently.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: The Man Who Visited Every Country
• 00:02:23 What's Actually Universal Across All Cultures
• 00:06:06 Inside North Korea: Tennis Invitations and Empty Hotels
• 00:09:06 How to Stay Safe in Dangerous Places
• 00:13:13 Syria During the War: Volunteering Among the Rubble
• 00:16:11 The Media Disconnect: Afghanistan, Iran, and Misunderstood Places
• 00:18:26 El Salvador, Brazil's Favelas, and the Safety Paradox
• 00:21:27 Living Abroad: The Best Education You Can Get
• 00:25:13 India: The Most Transformative Trip
• 00:27:14 The Extremes of India: Beauty and Horror on the Same Street
• 00:29:44 The Adrenaline Gene: Why Drew Doesn't Feel Fear
• 00:30:44 Mogadishu: The Most Dangerous City in the World
• 00:32:43 Mark's Close Call in Cartagena
• 00:37:21 Overrated or Underrated: Government, Culture, and War
• 00:43:45 The Best and Worst Thing About Every Country
• 00:41:18 Family Culture: The American Independence Paradox
• 00:47:40 The Quality of Information Crisis
• 00:50:39 What's Next and Finding Your Golf
• 00:55:56 Final Thoughts: The Value of Underserved Stories

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

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FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
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LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

A lot of people treat goals like some kind of sacred self-improvement law, where the most important thing you can do is set and achieve your goals.

But goals are simply tools we use to point us in the right direction. Your goals should serve you—and so you shouldn’t be a slave to some arbitrary goal you set when it’s no longer serving you. So how do you know when a goal is no longer pushing you in the right direction?

In this episode, I talk about why I gave up a pretty big goal I set at the beginning of the year. I discuss what I think are the criteria you should use when deciding whether to give up on a goal or stick it out.

We also discuss what we learned from the goals survey we did for podcast viewers and listeners. How many stuck with their goals and how many have moved on? What are the most effective tactics people used to stick to their goals? What are the most important lessons they learned about their goals and themselves?

Check it out.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction
• 00:01:13 Mark's (failed) goal
• 00:05:11 Is Mark full of sh*t?
• 00:08:14 Drew's (half sucessful) goal
• 00:12:08 Extreme measures
• 00:14:08 Getting more specific with your goals
• 00:16:40 Survey results
• 00:18:55 Teachable moment: Selection bias
• 00:23:06 How did people stick with their goals?
• 00:24:49 The value of self-discovery in working towards goals
• 00:32:57 3 good reasons to give up on a goal
• 00:37:00 Bonus reason to give up a goal
• 00:39:34 Mark's new health goals
• 00:41:53 Drew's updated goals

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠

FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
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LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

After a catastrophic parachuting accident ended his military career in the British special forces, Dean Stott couldn't just retire to a quiet life. Instead, he decided to shatter boundaries in entirely new fields.

These days, when Dean isn't prepping to beat another world record, like a 14,000-mile bike ride in less than 100 days, he's jet-setting around the world rescuing civilians and diplomats alike from war zones.

In this episode, Dean shares his unique approach to overcoming adversity, managing risk, and staying mentally tough in the most challenging situations. We explore his fascinating experiences from war-torn countries to royal security and the psychological benefits of meticulous planning and mission-driven thinking. Dean also offers a glimpse into how he balances extreme challenges with a grounded personal life.

Enjoy.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00:00 Introduction: The Baddest Motherfucker I've Ever Met
• 00:03:40 Dean's Relationship to Pain and the Parachuting Incident
• 00:08:04 Breaking the Pan-American Highway World Record
• 00:12:18 Mortality, Risk, and Making Smart Decisions
• 00:16:18 The Canadian Embassy Evacuation and Understanding Local Cultures
• 00:20:01 Building Trust in Dangerous Places
• 00:22:17 Choosing the Harder Path and Becoming SBS
• 00:25:47 What the Military Teaches That Civilians Miss
• 00:30:53 Preparation, Perfectionism, and OCD
• 00:33:24 Dealing With Extremes and Training Two Up
• 00:37:57 The Power of Non-Judgment and Making Friends Anywhere
• 00:39:46 Alana: Partnership, Purpose, and Power Couple Dynamics
• 00:46:56 The Duty to Give Back and How to Ask for Money
• 00:48:03 Meeting Prince Harry and Fox Piss One
• 00:52:31 The Skill of Being Famous and the Burden of Duty
• 00:59:02 Toughest Forces on Earth and Still Got It
• 01:02:51 Ocean Rowing the West Coast and Taking Alana Out of Her Comfort Zone

⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠

⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠

FOLLOW MARK
Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠
Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠
Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠
LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson