What happens when your sobriety collides with a loved one’s addiction? In this episode, I talk with addiction specialist Amber Hollingsworth about how to support someone struggling without enabling, the truth about boundaries, and how to protect your own wellbeing in the process.

What happens when I’m navigating my own sobriety while someone I love is still caught in addiction’s grip?

In this episode, I sit down with addiction specialist Amber Hollingsworth, founder of Put the Shovel Down, to talk about what it really looks like to support a loved one through addiction without losing yourself in the process.

Amber shares why the belief that “you can’t help until they want it” keeps families stuck, the powerful difference between boundaries and rules, and how anger and control can actually fuel addiction. With 20+ years of experience, she brings a compassionate, strength-based approach that focuses on what is working instead of only on the problems.

I also open up about my own experience discovering a partner’s hidden addiction—the betrayal, confusion, and self-doubt it created—and Amber breaks down the psychology behind denial and delusion so you can finally understand what’s really happening in your loved one’s mind.

✨ You’ll hear:

• How to support loved ones without enabling
• Why boundaries protect you (and why they’re not rules)
• The sneaky ways anger and control can actually backfire
• Why women in over-functioning roles often turn to substances as an escape valve
• How reclaiming your feminine energy shifts the entire dynamic

If you’ve ever felt responsible for carrying the weight of someone else’s addiction, this conversation will give you the clarity and tools to protect your own wellbeing.

✨ Don’t miss the free resource in the show notes: 60 Seconds to Calm — the same quick practice I use to ground myself in moments of overwhelm.

About Amber Hollingsworth

Amber Hollingsworth is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Master Addiction Counselor, and the founder of the popular YouTube channel Put the Shovel Down. With over 20 years of experience, she specializes in helping families understand addiction, create effective boundaries, and support recovery without falling into enabling patterns. Her strength-based, practical approach empowers families to stop feeling helpless and start creating meaningful change.

Connect with Amber:

• 🌐 Website: hopeforefamiliesrecoverycenter.com
• 📺 YouTube: Put the Shovel Down
• 📘 Free Resources: puttheshoveldown.com

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Calm isn’t just a mood—it’s the baseline your body must return to if you want to break free from the cycle of drinking. When you’re stuck in overwhelm—overthinking, overworking, and over-giving—your nervous system never resets. That constant stress is exactly what makes pouring a glass of wine at the end of the day feel so tempting.

Here’s the truth most sobriety methods miss: alcohol was never the problem. It was just your body’s quick fix for a frazzled nervous system. The deeper issue is self-abandonment—constantly outsourcing your energy, trying to hold everything together with willpower, and disconnecting from your feminine wisdom. That’s what fuels the decision fatigue, the mental load, and the endless responsibilities that make you want to check out.

The feminine way flips the script. Instead of piling on more rules, tools, and self-improvement hacks, what if you simply learned to generate calm from within? A few small shifts—like softening your breath, feeling the support of your back body, and asking, “How would my Calm Queen respond here?”—create the safety your brain has been chasing in a bottle.

✨ Key Takeaways from this episode:

• Calm is your true superpower—it dissolves the urge to numb.
• Alcohol is not the root problem—it’s a nervous system coping mechanism.
• The feminine way isn’t about doing more, it’s about feeling safe enough to do less.
• Simple daily practices can rewire your body to choose calm over craving.

When you feel safe in your own skin, you don’t need a drink to take the edge off—you have a the CALM codes with in you. 

👉 Ready to test this out in real life? Download my free guide “60 Seconds to Calm” in the show notes. It works faster than a drink—and it actually gives you your power back.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Ever wonder why quitting alcohol feels like a full-on identity shift? It’s because sobriety isn’t just about abstaining—it’s about reclaiming the parts of you that got buried under performance, people-pleasing, and perfectionism.

In this episode, we explore why alcohol is often just a placeholder for authenticity, and how perimenopause marks a powerful rite of passage—not a crisis, but a coronation.

You’ll walk away with:

• A deeper understanding of why your nervous system craves authenticity over belonging
• How midlife and sobriety unlock your next level of leadership, pleasure, and personal power
• The sneaky ways achievement can become the “new numbing”
• What it actually means to access your feminine essence—without a drink in your hand

This is your sacred invitation to come home to yourself.
✨ Your next evolution of awakened empowerment starts now.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

What if nothing’s actually “wrong”—you’re just seeing it from an outdated perspective?

In this episode, you'll learn how to interrupt spirals of stress, resentment, or drinking urges without needing to fix anyone else or wait for the perfect conditions.

We’ll explore:

• The mindset shift that instantly diffuses urges to numb
• Why “it’s just a thought” can be the most liberating realization
• How to take radical responsibility without bypassing your emotions
• The Sacred Pause process that rewires your nervous system from reactivity to trust

This isn’t about giving up alcohol—it’s about giving up the need to abandon yourself.

🔗 Tap the show notes to grab your free urge guide or book a consultation to learn how the Sacred Pause Method can change your relationship with alcohol—and everything else.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Freedom from alcohol isn't found in white-knuckling or temporary breaks — it emerges when you stay engaged with the process of transformation.

In this episode, I share a powerful moment from a recent family reunion where, for the first time, everyone had shifted their relationship with alcohol. What came from that wasn't awkwardness — it was deeper connection, true presence, and genuine joy without needing a single drop.

This is what happens when we stop performing and start participating in our own change.

You’ll hear:

• Why temporary breaks often reinforce the desire to drink
• The truth about alcohol and connection (it’s not what you think)
• How the Sacred Pause Method “front-loads” your healing — and shortens the timeline
• What one client said that changed everything for her: “This finally feels real. And sustainable.”
• How lifting the veil on your habits gives you a completely new perspective — one you can’t unsee

✨ Download the 60-Second Urge Codes for instant relief from your next craving — in less time than it takes to pour a drink.

🎁 And if you’re ready to go deeper, my Christmas in July offer is available through August 3rd:
Book a free consultation and you’ll get $250 off your first payment, instant access to the Sobriety Starter Kit, and a 75-minute emotional support session to simply receive and reset.

This is your sacred pause. Let’s make it count.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Ever wonder why “just have one” never actually works?

In this no-fluff episode, we unpack the deeper truth behind that tiny phrase—and why your body already knows alcohol doesn’t feel good anymore. If you're tired of the start-stop cycle and craving a way of living that actually supports your goals, your energy, and your feminine power… this one’s for you.

Sobriety isn't just about saying no to alcohol—it’s about saying yes to yourself. To living fully expressed, in your truth, and from a place of deep connection and intuition. We’re flipping the script on outdated advice and taking back our authority.

Inside, we dive into:

• Why your body’s wisdom always wins over external opinions
• How sobriety becomes the path to so much more than not drinking
• What to do when others question your choice to quit
• The sneaky ways alcohol dulls your potential
• Why not knowing what's possible is more painful than failure
• The #1 rule: don’t take advice from people who don’t have the results you want
• How feminine leadership begins by trusting yourself—fully

✨ You don’t need to justify your sobriety. You just need to embody it.

🌿 Ready to handle urges without willpower or deprivation?
Download the free Urge Guide at marywagstaffcoach.com
Five minutes. Total shift. Deep relief.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Ever wonder who you’d be without the wine?

In this personal and powerful episode, I reflect on how creating a sacred space for women—where we gather weekly over iced tea and flowers—revealed the essence of my own transformation. What started as a dream of women’s retreats manifested in a flower farm. And what I thought would be found through achievement, I discovered through simplicity, presence, and letting go of alcohol.

Midlife sobriety is more than just quitting drinking—it's a rite of passage we were never taught to honor. And when you pair it with the hormonal shifts of perimenopause and menopause, something magical happens: you reclaim your energy, your intuition, and your power.

We explore:

• What it really means to meet your future self
• Why letting go of outcomes opens the door to unexpected joy
• How sobriety teaches you to trust your desires more than your conditioning
• Using perimenopause as a sacred portal, not a problem to fix
• Replacing perfectionism with consistency and self-compassion
• Optimizing energy (not balance) as a woman in transition
• Tapping into your intuition as your ultimate guide

✨ The woman who confidently orders iced tea instead of wine?
She’s the wise one. The whole one. The next evolution of you.

🌿 Download the free Urge Guide at marywagstaffcoach.com
Five minutes a day is all it takes to begin transforming your relationship with alcohol—for good.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Have you ever caught yourself pouring a glass of wine just because you were “bored”? Let’s talk about what’s really going on underneath that go-to excuse — and why it matters so much to your feminine wellbeing.

In this episode, we get real about how our culture conditions women to fear stillness and how alcohol has become a sneaky permission slip to rest. But what if you could grant yourself that permission — no wine required?

✨ This one’s for the woman who’s ready to reclaim her energy, her creativity, and her right to just be.

We’ll explore:

• Why “boredom” is often a mask for your body’s need to rest
• How productivity culture suppresses feminine creativity
• The real shift that happens when you drink — and why it’s not what you think
• How alcohol has become a socially acceptable way to pause
• What it feels like to build the muscle of receptivity instead of numbing
• The feminine magic waiting for you on the other side of the “antsy” feeling

Your feminine energy doesn’t thrive in constant doing — it thrives in presence, in play, in permission to follow your own rhythm.

🌹 Ready to experience rest and relief without deprivation?
Download your free Urge Guide at marywagstaffcoach.com

Your creative spirit is waiting. Let’s set her free.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Women are wired to handle a lot. It’s our superpower—but it can also be our kryptonite. The mental load we carry—anticipating needs, managing tasks, and caring for everyone around us—can easily become overwhelming, especially during perimenopause and beyond.

Takeaways:

• The mental load is both a gift and a curse for high-achieving women
• Overwhelm often peaks during perimenopause, turning our superpower into burnout
• Setting clear boundaries and dividing tasks creates clarity and peace
• Letting go of control and practicing surrender is essential for mental health
• Alcohol often becomes a coping mechanism when we feel mentally overloaded

In this episode, I break down why women, especially during life transitions, get caught in the trap of doing everything. I share a powerful exercise to help you reclaim your mental space: drawing a line between what's truly yours to hold and what's not. Plus, I’ll show you how to protect your peace by honoring your non-negotiables—like my 10pm bedtime rule—while letting go of what isn’t serving you.

Ready to reclaim your energy, mental space, and freedom without alcohol? Tune in to find out how.

CTA:
Join our monthly women's circle on the first Thursday of every month at 5pm Pacific. Grab the Zoom link in the show notes! And, don’t forget to download my free urge guide to break the cycle of cravings in just five minutes—no deprivation needed. Your nervous system will thank you.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Are you wondering why alcohol doesn't work for you the way it used to?
Your body might be signaling a profound transformation – perimenopause. As a holistic alcohol coach working with women for over five years, I’ve discovered that this transitional phase requires a sacred pause from alcohol to truly understand what’s happening within.

Perimenopause literally means "the time before the pausing of the month/moon" – it’s a threshold experience inviting you into an unbothered, unapologetic era of your life. 

But here's the crucial insight: you cannot navigate this transition effectively while alcohol is in your system. It creates an imbalance on top of an already fluctuating hormonal landscape, making it impossible to gather accurate data about your changing body.

Key Takeaways:

• Perimenopause is a transformational phase that alcohol can distort.
• Alcohol disrupts hormonal balance, masking the signals your body is trying to send.
• Shifting your perspective from "problem" to "possibility" helps you navigate change with ease.
• The same tools that help you quit alcohol also support you through perimenopause: awareness, body literacy, and perspective shifts.
• Taking a sacred pause from alcohol allows you to reconnect with your true self in this new phase of life.

Ready to discover what your changing body is trying to tell you?
Grab my free urge guide in the show notes to find relief without a drink—no deprivation required. Your unbothered, unapologetic era awaits.

Support the show

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.