It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

Telling a High Conflict Spouse That You Want a Divorce


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One of the hardest decisions when divorcing a high-conflict spouse is how and when to tell that person that you want a divorce. How will the person react? Will I be in danger? Will my life become a worse hell?


In this episode, Megan and Bill discuss this extremely relevant and important topic, starting with a question from a listener. They will discuss:

  • What should you do if your partner doesn’t know yet that you want a divorce? 
  • How should you tell that person? 
  • How should you prepare?
  • What should you say? Where should you say it?
  • Should you have someone with me?
  • Is it okay to stay at home after delivering the news?
  • What to be aware of going forward.
  • Should the kids be told in advance? Or when do I tell them?
  • Should the kid’s school be notified?

Links & Other Notes

  • BOOKS
    • Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
    • Calming Upset People with EAR: How Statements Showing Empathy, Attention, and Respect Can Quickly Defuse a Conflict
  • AUDIO SERIES
    • High Conflict Separation & Divorce Basics: 13-part Series
  • ON DEMAND COURSES & COACHING
    • New Ways for Families Online Class and Coaching
    • Conversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 Experts

Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/

Submit a Question for Bill and Megan

All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.

You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

  • (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
  • (02:17) - Telling an HCP You Want a Divorce
  • (04:01) - Start With Preparing
  • (08:31) - So Many Things to Think About
  • (11:05) - What You'll Say and Where
  • (17:28) - Should I Have Someone With Me?
  • (19:02) - Should I Go Home Afterward?
  • (20:21) - Going Forward
  • (22:56) - When to Tell the Children
  • (26:10) - Telling the School
  • (27:43) - Wrapping Up
  • (29:26) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Family Law in Israel with Guest Michal Fein

  • Learn more about our New Ways for Work Coaching sessions. Get started today!

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    It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict PeopleBy TruStory FM

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