The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

Whether you love manifesting or you're still a little skeptical, I want you to consider one thing: if the Law of Attraction really is a law of nature, like gravity, is it possible that it is working in your life whether you know it or not?

Is it possible that your unconscious beliefs are shaping your reality in ways you don't realize – or want – simply because you haven't chosen another way of thinking?

This was the reality of Dr. Joe Vitale's life when he was homeless and living on the floor of the Dallas library. A lifelong learner with a love for books, he would spend hours in the self-development section, trying to figure out what was keeping him stuck in life. He realized he was carrying a tremendous amount of limiting beliefs, including the belief that he needed to suffer to be successful, and these beliefs were the very reason he was in the circumstances he was in.

As he changed his beliefs, he changed his entire life from his finances to his career, and today he's a wildly successful author, actor, musician and guru on the Law of Attraction – and I was so honored to speak with him on today's show.

Dr. Joe helps explain the Law of Attraction and how it works on a practical level, showing how what we focus on is what we get, and walks us through a beautiful Hawaiian process for healing ourselves and those around us. I asked him all the tough questions and got all of the answers for you, so you can look at this concept through a new lens and start creating the life you want!

Listen to discover:

• How Dr. Joe went from being homeless to being a wildly successful author, actor and musician – just by shifting his beliefs
• Where to start getting the life you want
• What the law of attraction is and why it can work for you (even if you don't think so)
• The importance of choosing love instead of fear for creating the life you want
• Why your unconscious beliefs make all the difference in manifestation
• The power of the ho'oponopono prayer and how to use it

At the end of the day, the Law of Attraction is based on the idea that we see and get more of what we focus on. Wouldn't you rather focus on love than on fear or hate, no matter what – and especially if doing so was directly connected to the reality you were living? This is an awesome show to help you get started on that path and begin to see that miracles ARE possible!

"The inner work is what got me here." - Dr. Joe Vitale

"In order to change the outside reality, you gotta go inside." - Michelle Chalfant

"You're not purposely, consciously choosing most of these beliefs. Most of them you've absorbed." - Dr. Joe Vitale

"The 'how' is the number one thing that stops people." - Dr. Joe Vitale

"Fear and hate are two of the most powerful manifesting emotions that there are." - Dr. Joe Vitale

"Emotion is fire for creating what you want." - Dr. Joe Vitale

"The law of attraction is how your brain works. It is bringing to you what you're focused on." - Dr. Joe Vitale

"I love working with the unconscious mind because that is where, to me, the magic is." - MIchelle Chalfant

"It seems to me the only limits we have are mental constructs." - Dr. Joe Vitale

LINKS & RESOURCES

Dr. Joe Vitale Website

https://joevitale.com/

Zero Limits Living (Joe Vitale TV Show)

https://zerolimitslivingtv.com/

"Zero Limits" (one of many Joe Vitale books)

https://www.amazon.com/Zero-Limits-Secret-Hawaiian-System/dp/0470402563

"Homeless to Billionaire" (Andres Pira with Dr. Joe Vitale book)

https://www.amazon.com/Homeless-Billionaire-Principles-Attraction-Opportunity/dp/1946633860

The Adult Chair® Membership (June theme: Grounding)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

I'm sure we all have an image that comes into our minds when we think about psychedelics – probably something related to hippies, jam bands, and wild colors and shapes. But what if there's something more to these substances? What if they could be powerful tools for healing?

I know, I know: when I first heard people ask that question, I was skeptical too. I thought of psychedelics as drugs, and I definitely don't advocate for drug use or numbing out instead of feeling emotions. But when I started researching the history of psychedelics and how they are being used in therapeutic settings, I began to open my mind to their possibilities, and I invite you to approach this episode with an open mind as well.

My guest today, Paul Austin, is a young entrepreneur leading the charge on making responsible, therapeutic use of psychedelics more understood and accepted. As Paul explains in the episode, the reason psychedelics have such healing potential is that they make the unconscious mind manifest, so we can see our shadow beliefs and understand the "why" behind some of the patterns in our lives. They can help us process trauma without activating the fear response in the brain and help us see life from a new perspective, which can heal anxiety, depression, PTSD and other issues at the source.

Paul does an amazing job breaking down the most common psychedelics, exactly how they work in the brain and what the experience is like with each one. We talk about the importance of intention, environment, and dosage (we are NOT advocating for using these at, say, Bonnaroo) and why it's essential to have a therapist with you in the experience.

Listen to discover:

• What a psychedelic actually is
• A breakdown of the common psychedelics
• The importance of using these substances in a therapeutic setting for proper dosing, guidance, and integration of the experience
• Demystifying the psychedelic experience
• How various psychedelics work in the brain and what each one is helpful in treating
• What microdosing is and how it works

Psychedelics are an intriguing topic that I actually get asked about a lot, and I hope you guys enjoy this research-driven episode that just might change your mind about these powerful plant medicines.

"The word 'psychedelic' literally means 'mind manifesting.'" - Paul Austin

"Psychedelics are phenomenal ways that we can heal unknown aspects of self." - Michelle Chalfant

"There's a way to do this appropriately and consciously and in a healthy way." - Michelle Chalfant

"What ketamine does neurologically, or to the brain if you will, is that it does a phenomenal job of dissolving the ego." - Paul Austin

"A lot of these mental health conditions, whether it's anxiety, depression or OCD, are caused by rigidity in the brain." - Paul Austin

"That inner healing intelligence that's so often shut down, psychedelics often help to bring that to the forefront." - Paul Austin

"We look at things one way. And with a psychedelic, you get to look at it from a higher perspective and from a different perspective." - Michelle Chalfant

"Oftentimes the healing potential from psilocybin is because you're basically facing your trauma head on." - Paul Austin

"Having someone to help you integrate is hugely important. You have to have a therapist or a guide or someone that sits with you." - Michelle Chaflant

LINKS & RESOURCES

The Third Wave (Paul Austin Company)

https://thethirdwave.co/

Paul Austin Website

https://www.paulaustin.co/

Paul Austin Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/paulaustin3w/

Paul Austin Twitter

https://twitter.com/PaulAustin3w

Episode #228: Breakthrough Treatments For Anxiety, Depression And Stress with Dr. David Rabin

https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/228/

Fantastic Fungi

https://fantasticfungi.com/watch/

"A Really Good Day"

https://www.amazon.com/Really-Good-Day-Microdosing-Difference/dp/1664458972

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We all experience emotions, but most of us don't really understand what emotions are. These feelings can drastically alter our day, our life and our experience in the world, yet they're intangible and often messy and confusing. It's no wonder many of us try to avoid them altogether.

Well, get ready to have your mind blown and to see emotions in a whole new light in this brilliant episode with Dr. Joan Rosenberg. Dr. Rosenberg began her study of emotions when she was trying to figure out what made some people confident in life, and her finding was surprising: confidence didn't just come from a sense of self-esteem but from our ability to handle uncomfortable emotions.

As she dug deeper into the human emotional experience, she uncovered a world of surprises around our understanding of emotions and how we can better process, experience and master our emotions.

We talked about why emotions are so uncomfortable for us (it's not why you think), what a compliment really is and why it matters so much, what drives fear, anxiety and grief, our fears around emotions and how we get stuck in emotion. Dr. Joan also shares her formula for feeling, experiencing and expressing the eight core emotions in an authentic way that helps them truly move through us.

Listen to discover:

• The unexpected key to building confidence
• "The Rosenberg Reset" formula to build confidence
• The 3 things that cause our uncomfortable feelings to linger (it's not the feelings themselves!)
• Steps to build more confidence
• The true power of a compliment (this one left me speechless)
• What's actually underneath fear and anxiety
• Why we need to both feel AND express our emotions

As much as I talk about emotions, I was still left speechless more than once in this episode as Dr. Rosenberg got to the heart of what is really beneath certain emotions and my perspective was shifted in so many ways. This is a truly empowering show that will help you live a more balanced and confident life.

"We need to learn as humans how to feel our emotions." - Michelle Chalfant

"The ability or the capacity to handle unpleasant feelings really is the foundation of confidence." - Dr Joan Rosenberg

"I think of confidence as the deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you face or whatever you pursue." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

"We're one interconnected whole...The brain is always feeding information to the body, and the body is always feeding information to the brain." Dr. Joan Rosenberg

"It comes down to handling short-lived bodily sensation waves." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

"100% of the time that sensation morphs and vanishes if they stay with it." - Michelle Chalfant

"We metabolize feeling by feeling it and expressing it." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

"If you want to stop your ruminating thoughts, you have to feel the emotion that's underneath the rumination." - Michelle Chalfant

"I think of the ability to speak up as the superglue to confidence." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

"A compliment is a reflection of you back to you." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

"What looks like arrogance is insecurity." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

"Disguised grief is the gap between what we wanted, what we needed, what we felt we deserved and what we really got." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg

LINKS & RESOURCES

Dr. Joan Rosenberg

https://drjoanrosenberg.com/

"90 Seconds to a Life You Love" (Dr. Joan Rosenberg book)

https://www.amazon.com/Seconds-Life-You-Love-Authenticity/dp/1478999764

Dr. Joan Rosenberg TED Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKy19WzkPxE

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Rejection is one of the greatest fears we have as humans. Even simple rejections like not making the team or being chosen for a job – things we know aren't personal – still sting deeply. Why does rejection seem to hit at the core of who we are?

Susan Anderson began asking this question when she went through a personal experience of abandonment. The love of her life left her suddenly for another woman, and although she was a practicing psychotherapist with immense knowledge of the human mind, she still found herself in emotional crisis and doubting herself and her worthiness.

As she dug more into this topic, she discovered that we as humans have a primal abandonment wound – a universal experience that begins when we are born and go from deep union and connection with our mother to a feeling of being separate. This creates deep shame and causes us to search for belonging and worthiness throughout our lives.

And this is why rejection hurts so much: it triggers this deep fear that we might not belong and we might not be worthy.

In this fascinating and important episode, Susan shares her discoveries on the topic of abandonment, why we experience it the ways we do and how a whole host of other issues in our lives can stem from this wound. We discussed why healing abandonment trauma looks different from healing other traumas, the five stages of healing and the tools (all of which are part of The Adult Chair® model) that can heal it.

Listen to discover:

• The hidden shame we all have and the root of it
• The different defences we put up against shame
• How to raise our awareness to our abandonment wounds
• Why healing from abandonment looks different from other forms of trauma healing
• Steps to healing abandonment wounding
• How working with abandonment wounding can help with people pleasing, codependency and self-sabotage
• 5 stages of processing abandonment hurt

The primal wound of abandonment is also an opportunity for primal healing. When we learn to love and accept ourselves as worthy and recognize how deeply connected we truly are, we not only heal our abandonment wound, but we can change almost anything in our lives.

"The loneliness is sort of a secondary feeling. The primary is the primal fear and the shame of maybe never being worthy of keeping someone." - Susan Anderson

"The personality itself is a defence against the shame." - Susan Anderson

"When we look at a relationship that ends, it is a retraumatization of what we experienced as a child." - Michelle Chalfant

"The history that leads to a strong reaction in adulthood to abandonment could be very subtle." - Susan Anderson

"You have to take this step, and you go through it...The pain is there, but you go through it, and you get to the other side." - Michelle Chalfant

"Your adult self can now develop an intense, loving, reassuring relationship with your inner child." - Susan Anderson

"It turns this awful emotional crisis that's so painful into an opportunity for something that's probably long overdue, which is self-love." - Susan Anderson

"Doing these steps, you will become an even better, stronger, more self-loving person on the other side of it...even stronger than you were prior to this abandonment wound." - Michelle Chalfant

"The kind of self-love that we're developing is deeper, more mature self-love...the kind of love you give yourself because you respect yourself so much." - Susan Anderson

"We have to stop looking outside of self and turn our attention inward. That's where healing, that's where love, that's where hope, that's where peace, that's where all the things are that we're looking for outside of ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant

"When the adult gets strong and is in command, it limits all of this self-sabotage." - Susan Anderson

LINKS & RESOURCES

Susan Anderson Website (all workshops and resources can be found here)

https://www.abandonment.net/

https://abandonmentrecovery.com

"The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" (Susan Anderson book)

https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Abandonment-Healing-Surviving-Recovering/dp/0425273539

The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: How to stop negative thinking)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE deep conversation, and in this show, I'm letting you in on a beautiful conversation I had with my husband during one of our weekly coffee chats. This was totally unplanned, but as our chat turned into a conversation about the soul, connection and spiritual practice, I felt such important information coming through and hit "record" so all of you could join us in thinking about how to live a more grounded and loving life.

As humans, most of us live from the place of ego. We stay busy to push down our feelings of loneliness and separateness and miss the presence of something bigger that's in front of us at all times. When we connect into this deeper part of self, we find comfort, inspiration, ideas and unconditional love.

So, how do we do this? I believe it's through a "soul practice" of stillness. Stillness is different from meditation, which is quieting the mind to observe our thoughts. Stillness, on the other hand, is stopping all the "doing" and chatter of life and tuning into the deeper parts of our being – our soul.

While this might seem like something reserved for the monks or Zen masters, we can ALL make this a part of life – without quitting our jobs, skirting our responsibilities or even really changing our schedule. In this episode, I share what my soul practice looks like and how I work stillness into my day, one minute at a time.

Listen to discover:

• Steps to connect with your soul
• Why even meditation can be driven by the ego
• How to integrate "micro-moments" of stillness into your day
• The importance of stopping the constant "doing" and instead just "being"
• The source of inspiration and comfort
• How to live a more heart-centered life connected to something bigger

True stillness is not ego-driven or another task to cross off our list. It's letting go and just "being" so that something more can come in.

When you get to the end of this episode, I challenge you to sit in stillness for just one minute (and I literally mean 60 seconds!) and make space for your soul. It's the place I'm striving to live from more and more each day.

"The soul is never not with us. The human body is a garage for the soul." - Michelle Chalfant

"The ideas come when I sit in these moments of stillness." - Michelle Chalfant

"For me at least, and I think many other people, the meditation feels like more doing. So, even though it's quieting the mind, you're doing something." - Graham Chalfant

"Micro-moments of stillness create relaxation in the nervous system." - Michelle Chalfant

"One of the fastest ways to slow yourself down is to slow your breath down." - Michelle Chalfant

"The revolutionary part is that this is the "'not doing.'" - Graham Chalfant

"When sitting in stillness, we are able to connect with that thing that we all have come from." - Michelle Chalfant

"If you'd stop doing and stop running so far ahead, the comfort's right here." - Graham Chalfant

"We're looking for that connection home again, and home is right inside of all of us." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: How to stop negative thinking)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Let's talk about sex, baby! Our sexuality is a core part of ourselves and the human experience, but for too long, we've treated sex as a taboo subject. Well, in this episode, we're "going there" and hopefully breaking down some walls and shame in the process.

My guest on this episode, Dr. Holly Richmond, is a marriage and family therapist, sex therapist and somatic (body-based) therapist who helps individuals and couples heal trauma and find greater intimacy and connection with themselves and each other. In this episode, we talk about why sexuality (and talking about it) is healthy and necessary and how we can create healthier and more passionate sexual connection, even in long-term relationships.

We also talk about what sexual trauma is (and why it includes more than just assault or abuse), how it affects our sexual development and how we can reclaim our sexual selves and the pleasure we deserve.

Listen to discover:

• What happens to sexual desire in long-term relationships
• Why there is so much shame around talking about sex
• How to talk to kids about sex and the risks of being exposed to porn too early
• What sexual trauma is and how it impacts us
• Healing from childhood sexual trauma
• How to reclaim pleasure and reignite passion at any age

Sexuality is so much more than the physical relationship we have with another person. It's our experience of passion in the world ("eroticism" refers to our life force, not just our body), and it tells us so much about ourselves. This is why it's so important to stay connected to this part of ourselves no matter our relationship status, if we're young and in love or if we have been with our person for years. I hope this episode gives you the freedom to acknowledge, love and prioritize this part of yourself and to live a more passionate and embodied life.

"The seat of human sexuality, the seat of desire is novelty." - Dr. Holly Richmond

"A lot of western culture, sex and shame go hand in hand." - Dr. Holly Richmond

"Sexual trauma is any experience that feels violating in a sexual way." - Dr. Holly Richmond

"If someone is being sexually coercive, that is a sexual trauma for some people." - Dr. Holly Richmond

"We have to take the whole construct of ourselves into the equation." - Dr. Holly Richmond

"We're taught to judge the body." - Michelle Chalfant

"Eroticism means life force." - Dr. Holly Richmond

"So many of us suffer in silence, and we need to start talking about this. Sex is not a bad word." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Dr. Holly Richmond Website

https://drhollyrichmond.com

Dr. Holly Richmond Facebook

https://m.facebook.com/DrHollyRichmond

Dr. Holly Richmond Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/drhollyrichmond/

"Reclaiming Pleasure" (Dr. Holly Richmond book)

https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com

Dr. Holly Richmond Course

https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com

Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When Brian Pennie was just a few weeks old, a medical condition nearly killed him, and the surgery the doctors performed to save his life was done without anesthesia, a common practice for young infants at the time (based on the faulty belief that infants couldn't feel pain). Though Brian doesn't consciously remember the surgery, his body remembered, and this early childhood trauma would define how he approached the world for the next several decades of his life.

From this experience, he learned that the world was a painful, dangerous place, and he developed anxiety at a very young age. When he was a teenager, he finally found an anesthetic to numb the pain from so many years ago: heroin. He spent 15 years addicted to the drug until he found himself in the hospital, unemployed and worried he was brain dead, and he finally let go and surrendered.

That moment of surrender led to an awakening in his life where he was able to connect with something bigger and experience the beauty in the world after years of numbness. He began studying meditation, neuroscience and the ways our thoughts, beliefs and self-talk shape our reality, and he was able to heal addiction at the source by healing the trauma and anxiety that he had been trying to escape.

In this incredible episode, Brian tells his powerful story of addiction and healing and then breaks down the science behind how he healed and how all of us can use meditation, breathwork, positive self-talk and inner child work (hello, Adult Chair® tools!) to rewire our brains – whether we're struggling with addiction, depression, anxiety, trauma or low self-worth.

Listen to discover:

• Brian's story of medical trauma, addiction and how he got clean
• How stopping negative self-talk transformed his path in life
• The science of stress and fear and how the breath can help us control this
• What self-talk is and how we can use it in an empowering way
• How to challenge your beliefs and how this changes your internal dialogue
• The link between self-talk and emotions
• Action steps to break the cycle of negative self-talk
• Little ways to start breaking out of depression
• The key to getting over addiction issues

Brian shares his story with so much vulnerability and authenticity, and he truly embodies The Adult Chair life. This episode will move you, inspire you and show you how we can change the story we're living by changing the story we're telling ourselves.

"I don't remember the operation, but my body remembers." - Brian Pennie

"I never had the general anesthetic as an infant, but when I was 17, I had done heroin for the first time, and I found my anesthetic." - Brian Pennie

"The narrative of my life was 'I cannot cope with anxiety. I need drugs to survive'…I wanted to escape me." - Brian Pennie

"That was the moment when I put up the white flag, and in order to move forward, I had to fall down...I surrendered, and I believe that was the start of all the changes in my life." - Brian Pennie

"I couldn't see the thinker because the thinker was me." - Brian Pennie

"Awareness is the catalyst for change." - Brian Pennie

"By changing your beliefs, you change your internal dialogue, you change your self-talk. By changing your self-talk, you change how you feel, you change the consequences of your actions and ultimately change your life." - Brian Pennie

"Watch that absolute thinking that says we 'never ever.' It keeps us stuck. It keeps us limited." - Michelle Chalfant

"The more I worked with my internal state and my emotions, things started to change." - Michelle Chalfant

"We do a lot of inner child work with The Adult Chair. It's powerful, powerful work." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Brian Pennie Website

https://www.brianpennie.com

"Bonus Time" (Brian Pennie book)

https://www.amazon.com/Bonus-Time-surviving-discovering-everyday/dp/0717186350

Free Inner Child Course

https://theadultchair.com/innerchild

Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

If you've been around The Adult Chair® for a minute, you've heard me say that happiness is an inside job. We are so prone to believe that joy comes from our external circumstances, which leads us to strive and strive for what we think will finally make us happy and blame others for our unhappiness. But the reality is that nothing outside of us will be able to make us happy if we don't first cultivate a sense of joy and peace within.

My guest today, Monique Rhodes, discovered this truth when she went on her own journey of understanding what makes some people happy in life while others suffer. Though today she works as a happiness strategist and calls herself "annoyingly happy," this wasn't always the case. After a difficult childhood and a number of tragedies, she ended up in the hospital after attempting to take her own life, which led her to explore a wide range of cultures, philosophies and practices to figure out if happiness was something she could actually create in her life. And it turns out, she could!

In this episode, Monique shares the practical habits she uses every day to cultivate a sense of happiness in her life and why they make such a difference in our mental state. These are all simple, free and fast practices that work by shifting our minds towards the positive and helping us see the good that already exists in our world.

Listen to discover:

• The strategies that helped her go from depression to daily happiness
• Practical tools to increase happiness
• What meditation is and what it isn't
• The cause of suffering
• How taking responsibility for our lives changes everything
• Building healthy social connections for happiness
• How to get out of a funk or take steps toward happiness if you're feeling depressed

We've all had that experience where we finally get the job, the house, the relationship, the body or whatever it is we've been wanting only to find that nothing about our lives really changes; we still feel sad, depressed or lonely. This is proof that our mental state is what drives our happiness, not things!

Using the practices in this episode, you can turn up the positive in your life, which will help you find joy no matter your circumstances and help you be more present with the good things that do happen in your life – the icing on the cake of an already happy and peaceful life.

"Where we live is in our mind, and when was the last time that we cleaned out our mind?" - Monique Rhodes

"We believe that happiness and suffering comes from our external circumstances. But it doesn't. It comes from that mind that we just do not take care of." - Monique Rhodes

"We have emotional reactions that are triggered usually by things that happened in the past." - Monique Rhodes

"A meditation practice every day is a game changer." - Monique Rhodes

"With meditation, consistency is way more important than intensity." - Monique Rhodes

"Commit to something that you're willing to commit to, and if you don't have 10 minutes out of a whole day, you really gotta think about your life." - Michelle Chalfant

"I think being happy is our birthright." - Monique Rhodes

"You can find gratitude in anything. You just have to look." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Monique Rhodes Website

https://moniquerhodes.com/

The Adult Chair® Membership (April Theme: Emotional Regulation)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You think you're a good person, you genuinely love your partner and you try to do the right thing …so why are you struggling in your relationship? Why do you and your partner feel unhappy, disconnected and maybe even headed for divorce?

These are the questions Matt Fray asked himself after his marriage ended. He knew he was a decent guy. He knew he had loved his wife, been faithful and done the things he thought he was "supposed" to do in a marriage – yet one day she came to him and asked for a divorce. As he walked through the grief and pain of that experience, he began a journey of self-reflection and blogging to try to understand what went wrong and how people can truly have healthy relationships.

What he uncovered was a series of small habits and dynamics that added up in his relationship and eroded trust and safety over time…and that these dynamics exist in nearly all relationships, including relationships made up of good people who really do love each other. Now, he's on a mission to help good people become good partners by understanding the root of relationship problems and how to fix them.

In this episode, Matt reveals the invisible habits that kill relationships, how we can turn our relationships around and how to build trust, safety and lifelong love.

Listen to discover:

• Matt's story of his marriage ending and what he did next
• The habits and blind spots that damage and even destroy our relationships
• The three ways we invalidate people unintentionally
• Why defensiveness can be so damaging
• The importance of empathy and consideration in relationships
• How to break the cycle of invalidation and build trust and safety

Nothing in life is static. Either we're cultivating our relationships and on a trajectory of trust or we're neglecting our relationships and on a trajectory of breakdown. Too often, we can't see this trajectory until it all falls apart. I love Matt's work because he's helping us open our eyes to the invisible ways we're either creating or damaging our relationships, even when things seem "fine," and giving us one of the most important gifts a person can have: the power of choice to do things differently and change the trajectory we're on.

"There's so much power in that 'I'm not alone' experience." - Matt Fray

"That's when healing truly began — when I took ownership and responsibility for my lot in life." - Matt Fray

"When you think you're a good person, it's so easy to not accept responsibility for harm that's being experienced by someone else."- Matt Fray

"Very good people who really, truly love each other can do this to one another." - Matt Fray

"Once you associate invalidation with the erosion of trust, then you can make the conscious decision to validate." - Matt Fray

"When we go through something unusual, it is our job to share, 'You know, I really need help with this,' and it's our partner's job to show up and say, 'I've got you.'" - Michelle Chalfant

"It's not about being right – it's being there in it with that person." - Michelle Chalfant

"The low-hanging fruit…is 'I'm not going to invalidate.'" - Matt Fray

LINKS & RESOURCES

Matt Fray Website

https://matthewfray.com/

"This Is How Your Marriage Ends" (Matt Fray book)

https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships/dp/0063072254/

"The Mask You Live In" Documentary

https://therepproject.org/films/the-mask-you-live-in/

The Adult Chair® Membership (April Theme: Emotional Regulation)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When we're born into the world, we're born into a set of assumptions and norms. When this is all we've known, we think this is just the way the world works — but what if it's all just an illusion? What if there's another way to live – outside of the status quo – and how can you manifest that life for yourself?

Yemi Penn calls this "bending reality," and, no, she's not talking about some kind of Star Wars-like force – she's talking about questioning societal norms, thinking outside of the box for ourselves and removing what gets in the way of the life we want to live. After experiencing childhood trauma and a period of homelessness, Yemi decided it was up to her to transform her trauma and turn it into a gift. This led her to live all over the world, run four successful businesses, tell stories through books and documentaries and build a life inspiring others to overcome fear, find their power and grow into their potential.

In this episode, we discuss healing from trauma, how we can reframe our norms and preconceived ideas about life and four steps to radical change – first in our minds and then in our reality.

Listen to discover:

• The definition of trauma
• Methods that work well for healing trauma
• What "bending reality" is and how to break out of the status quo
• Four steps for radical change
• The role of ego and identity
• The power of suspending disbelief and seeing possibilities for your life

I love Yemi's perspective because this isn't pie-in-the-sky thinking or idealism. It's grounded in science, authenticity and real-life experiences of overcoming trauma and failure in order to show that anything is possible. She is a phenomenal person with so much wisdom to share, and I hope this inspires you to live a bold life of connection, bravery and power.

What is a reality you would dream of for yourself if there were no societal conventions and expectations holding you back? What if you decided they didn't matter?

"I'm asking the question, 'Can trauma be transformative?'" - Yemi Penn

"I think there's so much wisdom in our own bodies that we haven't even connected with." - Yemi Penn

"We need to start trusting ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant

"Bending reality is almost removing yourself from the reality that we all appear to live in...It means not signing up for what we have been told is the only way to be." - Yemi Penn

"Bending reality for me is beginning to learn how to dance with the fear of criticism." - Yemi Penn

"Pretend you were not in this version of reality and you were somebody else. Who would you need to be to make it happen?" - Yemi Penn

"The ego really puts us in these boxes and says, 'No, you have to do it this way.'" - Michelle Chalfant

"You can't expect life to show up differently. You have to have radical change." - Michelle Chalfant

"We have to subtract the fear from that innate power we have that most of us have forgotten." - Yemi Penn

LINKS & RESOURCES

Yemi Penn Website

https://www.yemipenn.com/

Yemi Penn TED Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrKE2vMamA4

Yemi Penn Documentary

https://www.yemipenn.com/documentary

"Did You Get the Memo?" (Yemi Penn book)

https://www.yemipenn.com/book

Yemi Penn Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/YemiPenn/

Yemi Penn Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/yemi.penn

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Events

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant