The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

All of us have an inner critic – the part that reminds us of our limits, our failures and tries to "keep us in line." It's that voice inside your head that can be critical, judgmental and even mean. Though it's just one part of who we are, the inner critic is one of those parts that can be especially painful and stressful to deal with.

Not only does the inner critic impact our sense of self-worth, but it also keeps us stuck and small in life (although it thinks it's keeping us safe). We will often find this part standing between us and the dreams that are in our heart, telling us all the reasons why we can't or shouldn't.

That is what Adult Chair® Coach Jenny Jansen encountered when she was considering joining The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. She knew her heart was telling her to take the leap, but her inner critic dialed the volume up and tried to keep her stuck in fear.

In this episode, Jenny tells the story of how she used The Adult Chair® to work with and transform her inner critic and how that was the first step toward living a life where she feels purposeful, energized and successful. Jenny shares a detailed example of doing her own parts work, helping illustrate what this work looks like in real life and how transformational it is.

Listen to discover:

• How Jenny transformed her inner critic from her Adult Chair
• The tools Jenny used to work with her inner critic
• A beautiful parts work example from Jenny's work
• How Jenny overcame her fears about The Adult Chair Coaching Certification and became an amazingly successful coach

As Jenny worked with her inner critic, she discovered that underneath the blame and shame it was throwing her way was fear. This is usually the case for our Adolescent parts – they are afraid and want to keep us safe. When we turn towards them with our healthy Adult voice and let them know they're ok, they transform.

Jenny's story is a powerful example of how the goal is not to get rid of parts of ourselves but rather to integrate them into our whole self, with our healthy Adult in charge.

"I feel like my inner critic was born when I was born." - Jenny Jansen

"When I turned toward it, I realized there was so much fear underneath." - Jenny Jansen

"The more you turn away from that voice, it gets louder." - Michelle Chalfant

"When we're able to turn toward those parts and get to know them, they morph." - Michelle Chalfant

"A lot of times, we mix up feeling safe with feeling familiar." - Jenny Jansen

"What is it going to take to move your body path in line with your soul path?" - Jenny Jansen

"When we take these risks and work with these inner parts and walk through our fears, we become more authentic. We live more from our true self, our true essence, and we have an experience of it." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Jenny Jansen Website

https://www.trueconsciousliving.com/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When we think about the lives we want to live – the things we want to do and experience and the big dreams we have – the ego will give us a thousand reasons "why not."

Some of these reasons might be real traumas or health issues we have to overcome; others are figments of the ego's imagination…fear and discomfort that scream at us to stay in the safe place.

But one thing is certain: anyone who has created more for themselves has overcome struggles and fears to build the life of their dreams.

My guest, Scout Sobel, shares her story of working through depression and bipolar disorder and overcoming fear to become a successful entrepreneur, building a company rooted in emotional health and inspiring others with her podcasts about business and self-care. She shares her healing journey, her non-negotiable practices that keep her body and mind in balance and how she continues overcoming fear daily to create a life beyond what she thought possible.

Listen to discover:

• How Scout became an active participant in her own healing
• The rituals and practices Scout uses each day to stay emotionally healthy
• The power of taking "radical responsibility" for our emotions
• The importance of not settling and how to find a framework for life that works with how you're uniquely wired
• Listening to your inner compass and finding safety in your emotions

Scout's story is full of deep wisdom about how we actually grow and heal as humans. She talks about the power of acceptance, and how her life began to change when she accepted that challenges were part of being human and she took responsibility for her life and healing.

As we go into a new year, I hope this episode inspires you to take radical responsibility for YOUR dreams and make this year more than you can imagine!

"The real work is within you." - Scout Sobel

"There is no such thing as a magic pill." - Michelle Chalfant

"I think one of my biggest breakthroughs came from accepting and not resisting." - Scout Sobel

"If you're struggling with anything, I really believe that your healing is behind that resistance." - Scout Sobel

"You have to walk through discomfort and challenging moments to get what you want in this lifetime." - Scout Sobel

"Acceptance doesn't mean you freaking like it." - Michelle Chalfant

"If you are experiencing fear that is causing you to be paralyzed or remain stagnant in your life, I want you to ask yourself, 'What future has fear already robbed you of?'" - Scout Sobel

LINKS & RESOURCES

Scout Sobel Website

https://www.scoutsobel.com/

Scout Sobel Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/scoutsobel/

Okay Sis (Scout Sobel Podcast)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/okay-sis/id1434353917

The Emotional Entrepreneur (Scout Sobel Podcast)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-emotional-entrepreneur-podcast/id1505252696

"The Emotional Entrepreneur" (Scout Sobel Book)

https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Entrepreneur-Scout-Sobel/dp/0578951754

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges.

Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the simplest and most powerful places to start is with self-validation.

Self-validation is when we notice who we are – our actions, thoughts and feelings – and we affirm ourselves. It's not bragging or comparing ourselves to others but rather speaking truth to ourselves and cheering ourselves on…which not only builds up our sense of self-worth but also leads to healthier relationships as we stop looking to others to validate us.

In this episode, I'm sharing more about the power of self-validation and simple steps for how you can begin a practice of doing this every day. It literally takes seconds to do, and over time, it will change your life!

Listen to discover:

• What self-validation is and why it's important
• The connection between self-validation and self-worth
• What self-validation looks like in real life
• Steps to starting a practice of self-validation
• The difference between self-validation and narcissism or bragging

No one can make us feel or believe something we don't believe about ourselves. So, if we don't have a sense of our own self-worth, no amount of validation from others is going to give us what we need. It's an endless cycle of approval-seeking that never fills us up.

That's why we have to lay a foundation of self-worth and believe in our own goodness so that when others validate us, we can actually let it land and show up more authentically – as the true self that we know and love.

"Self-validation starts a domino effect to help heal all of these things because self-validation starts to build self-worth." - Michelle Chalfant

"Self-validation is when we notice what we're doing or thinking or feeling and we acknowledge it, we own it and then we give ourselves a pat on the back about it." - Michelle Chalfant

"If you want healthy relationships, start out by self-validating. It is unhealthy for us to rely on external validation." - Michelle Chalfant

"Self-validation is the healthy way to feel good about self." - Michelle Chalfant

"When you add that validation that takes seconds, my internal self gets built up, my self-worth gets built up, my sense of self becomes a little bit more positive." - Michelle Chalfant

"It's your job to share with others what you need." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we've been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief.

But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?

In this episode, I talk with the incredible Adele Spraggon, a behavioral change and brain expert, about what drives human behavior, why traditional methods of change fail and how we can identify and transform the unconscious patterns that drive our behavior without us even knowing it.

We're covering so many topics from relationships to money (because the brain affects them all!), and you will learn Adele's four-step process for working with negative patterns, even those in your subconscious mind.

I LOVED my conversation with Adele – a true soul sister who speaks The Adult Chair® language – and I know you will too.

Listen to discover:

• Why simply trying to change behavior doesn't work
• The real reason why you do what you do
• The problem with goal setting
• How to actually transform actions, behaviors and beliefs
• Steps to changing unconscious brain patterns
• Surrender vs. acceptance
• How this can change your relationship with money, your partner, your family, etc.

Too often we try to change only the external or we try to simply work against the negative patterns in our brain, and we wonder why our lives don't change. As you will learn in this episode, the key is that we have to get rid of the old pattern before we can replace it with a new one...and this episode will show you how!

"How we are taught to change behaviors is not effective. What we need to do is deal with our brain's patterning instead of the actions that we're taking, the beliefs that we're holding or the behaviors we're adopting." - Adele Spraggon

"Between us and our situations, there lives an interpreter, and that interpreter is our brain." - Adele Spraggon

"We create this roadmap from [age] 0 to 6 that we're living in as adults." - Michelle Chalfant

"Mindset originates in the unconscious patterning of the brain." - Adele Spraggon

"I love triggers because so much is revealed in a trigger." - Michelle Chalfant

"People don't procrastinate. We avoid." - Adele Spraggon

"Everything about who a person is today is the result of every pattern that has brought them here." - Adele Spraggon

"The biggest gift you can give another person is to allow that person to show up brand new every time you see them." - Adele Spraggon

LINKS & RESOURCES

Adele Spraggon Website

https://www.adelespraggon.com/

"Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment" (Adele Spraggon Book)

https://shift4steps.com/

2022 Adult Chair® Membership

2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living

​​https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can't connect at the deep level you want?

These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn't tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult life where we don't know how to feel our own emotions — which is essential to experiencing joy, passion and connection!

In this show, I'm chatting with Dr. Jonice Webb, a psychologist and author and a highly requested guest in The Adult Chair® community, about how to spot childhood emotional neglect and how to begin the process of accessing your emotions as an adult. This show is filled with incredible insights into an issue that unknowingly affects so many of us and how to heal from it.

Listen to discover:

• What childhood emotional neglect is
• Why invalidating our feelings leads to shame
• How childhood emotional neglect affects adult relationships
• What emotional intimacy is
• Rebuilding from childhood emotional neglect
• Steps to start your healing journey

Childhood emotional neglect isn't necessarily abuse; in fact, it can happen in very loving, well-meaning homes. But anything that disconnects us from our emotions — our inner navigation system and a key to living in The Adult Chair — is going to keep us from living the happy, fulfilled life we all dream of. I hope this episode encourages you to look inward and connect with the deepest parts of who you are. That is how you will experience the fullness of life and connection with others!

"We need our feelings to survive and thrive in our adult life." - Dr. Jonice Webb

"Eventually the child brain just erects a wall so that you don't have to feel anything, and that wall stays there until you take it down." - Dr. Jonice Webb

"Men have the equal capacity or ability to feel all emotions because they're human." - Michelle Chalfant

"What you have inside is a constellation of how your parents treated your feelings." - Dr. Jonice Webb

"Emotions are the expression of your deepest self." - Dr. Jonice Webb

"Emotions are our built-in navigation system, and they guide us." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Dr. Jonice Webb Website

https://emotionalneglect.com

"Running on Empty" (Dr. Jonice Webb book)

https://drjonicewebb.com/the-book/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!)

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back in life. But what if you've experienced significant trauma as well? How do you distinguish between a trauma response and limiting or negative thinking? How do you find the power to heal when things have happened that were out of your control?

My guest today, Michael Unbroken, has an intense and powerful story of overcoming unspeakable trauma, growing up with abuse, addiction and homelessness. At one point, he wanted to end his own life. But he made a decision to live, and in doing so, discovered that the only path forward started within.

In this incredible conversation, Michael shares how he was able to break the cycle of trauma in his life and consciously choose a different path for himself. This is an inspiring and vulnerable conversation that will challenge you to take ownership of your life, treat yourself with grace and kindness and live life fully!

Listen to discover:

• Michael's incredible story of healing from trauma and turning his life around
• The steps for overcoming limiting beliefs
• How to get past fear and start living your life
• How to actually change your life (and why you have to get out of the way first)
• The power of vulnerability
• The importance of a mentor

Transforming limiting beliefs starts with taking ownership of the way we think about life, no matter what we've been through. What happened to us is not our fault, but it does become our job to take responsibility for it and make a choice to create the healthy, whole life we want to live. We all have the power to do this, and I hope this episode inspires you to find everything that's possible for you.

"It's never going to be one thing that changes your life." - Michael Unbroken

"What you think becomes what you speak. What you speak becomes your actions, and your actions become your reality." - Michael Unbroken

"If we're sitting waiting for someone to rescue us, we're in the seat of the victim." - Michelle

"We have to create different. We have to create better. If we want a different life, we have to make different choices." - Michelle Chalfant

"It will change everything about the fabric of your experience of this life when you're willing to be real." - Michael Unbroken

LINKS & RESOURCES

Michael Unbroken Website

https://www.thinkunbroken.com/

Michael Unbroken Podcast

https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/

Michael Unbroken Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/

Michael Unbroken Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/MichaelUnbroken/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Now Open: Doors Close January 31!)

https://michellechalfant.com/coaching-certification-program/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Staying in our Adult Chair and setting boundaries can be especially difficult at the holidays. Pressure to attend events or spend money, uncomfortable conversations, holiday traditions and gatherings of family and friends that might not normally get together can create plenty of scenarios that test our boundaries (not to mention the "shoulds" and guilt the holidays can bring!).

It doesn't surprise me one bit when my inbox lights up with questions about boundaries this time of year.

So, I enlisted the help of today's guest, psychotherapist and boundary expert Sharon Martin, to help me answer your questions about how to flex your boundary muscles this time of year — and anytime!

We talk about how to navigate guilt and defensiveness when it comes to boundaries, helpful boundary statements and all kinds of practical tips and tools for setting boundaries at the holidays.

Listen to discover:

• What a boundary is
• Why boundaries can actually lead to better relationships
• Why we sometimes feel guilty when setting a boundary (and how to work through this)
• What to do when someone doesn't respond to your boundary
• How to lower the defenses of the person you're setting a boundary with
• Why boundaries are an important form of self-care

Boundaries are not something you have to master overnight. I didn't wake up one day suddenly good at setting boundaries either – but when you start slowly and build and build, you CAN learn this…and everybody needs to learn it, because boundaries are part of our self-care!

So, if you're feeling overwhelmed by holiday boundaries, pick one or two to start with – a "no" to a party, a political topic you don't want to discuss or a gift budget. You'll bring a little extra sanity to your holidays and give yourself great practice for year-round self-care.

"One way we can think about [boundaries] is as a dividing line." - Sharon Martin

"You can actually have better relationships when we are able to set boundaries." - Michelle Chalfant

"We don't need to wait until the uncomfortableness is completely gone for us to set the boundary." - Sharon Martin

"Boundaries and confrontation are not the same thing." - Michelle Chalfant

"Boundaries are really based on needs." - Sharon Martin

"It's always about staying connected to yourself so that you know when a boundary is necessary." - Michelle Chalfant

"Don't extend yourself to others so much that you've lost sight of what you need on the inside." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Sharon Martin Website

http://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/

"The Better Boundaries Workbook" (Sharon Martin Book)

https://betterboundariesworkbook.com/

2022 Annual Adult Chair® Membership

2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living

​​https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout

Other Adult Chair® Podcasts on Boundaries

https://theadultchair.com/?s=boundaries&pageName=default

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

The holidays are a time where it feels like everything is a bit magnified: there is so much joy and brightness in the world but also space for sadness, loneliness and grief to be amplified.

It's a touchy time of year where whatever we're feeling gets underscored by parties, gatherings and traditions.

But the holidays don't create these feelings. In fact, according to my guest on the podcast today, WE don't even create most of these feelings. Rather, we pick them up from our parents and the world around us, and the key to overcoming loneliness and sadness is to understand where it all began.

In this episode, I'm bringing back one of my favorite people, Dr. Dain Heer, to talk about loneliness, how to identify what is ours and what is not, how to clear what's not ours, how to get out of victim and so many more important, empowering topics!

Dr. Dain also shares tools and techniques you can use immediately to start clearing negative emotions – one of the reasons I love his work so much!

Listen to discover:

• What loneliness is and where it comes from
• Why 98% of our thoughts and feeling aren't actually ours – and where they come from
• How to get out of negative emotions
• What to do if you're experiencing loneliness in life
• The true root of victimhood
• The "clearing statement" for fast transformation

Dr. Dain's work with Access Consciousness is all about realizing the power you have within you to change. When you're able to get rid of what is not yours, it gives you the space and energy to work on what IS yours and create your life instead of falling victim to it. I hope the tools in this episode help you find your inner power, no matter what you're feeling this holiday season – or any time of the year!

"Your point of view creates your reality. Your reality doesn't create your point of view." - Dr. Dain Heer

"It's as simple as redirecting that energy out of your energy field." - Michelle Chalfant

"It starts to undo the foundation of limitation." - Dr. Dain Heer

"We don't have to be limited by the world around us." - Dr. Dain Heer

"When we open the door for possibilities, it makes that available to everybody else on the planet." - Dr. Dain Heer

"People who do victim have learned it." - Dr. Dain Heer

"Victims are actually victimizing others and controlling them with their victimhood." - Dr. Dain Heer

"If we can just sit in someone else's energy field that's healthy, we become more like them." - Michelle Chalfant

Resources

Dr. Dain Heer Website

https://drdainheer.com/

Dr. Dain Heer YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/user/drdainheer

Dr. Dain Heer Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/DrDainHeer

Dr. Dain Heer Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/dainheer/

Who Does This Belong To App

https://www.accessconsciousness.com/en/shop-catalog/apps/who-does-this-belong-to-app/

The Clearing Statement

https://theclearingstatement.com/

"Body Whispering" (Dr. Dain Heer Book)

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Whispering-Dr-Heer/dp/1634934873

2022 Adult Chair® Membership

2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living

​​https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

You know the feeling when your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Maybe you freeze in place or your heart starts racing, your body pumping with adrenaline. This automatic response often feels like it overtakes us. But what if you could control and balance your nervous system instead of it controlling you?

In today's show, I'm interviewing the incredible Deb Dana, one of the leading experts on the nervous system and the Polyvagal Theory. The Polyvagal Theory offers us cutting-edge insight into the third nervous system response that Porges calls the social engagement system, based on the Vagus Nerve.

In this episode, we talk about how we can both understand and balance our nervous system — from the different ways we respond to fear or danger (including fight, flight, freeze and a new one you might not be aware of) to how we can change our response to stressors over time. We explore how we can stop moralizing our nervous response, how to listen and pay attention to our nervous system and how others' nervous systems can help us regulate. It is FASCINATING!

Listen to discover:

• What the Polyvagal Theory is and why it's important for you to know about it
• Understanding the Polyvagal Theory to learn how to better balance the nervous system
• How the Polyvagal Theory could be linked with depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue and other ailments
• How we can reshape our nervous system
• Specific ways to self-regulate when you are stressed, based on YOUR unique nervous system

This blends attachment theory, stress response, self-regulation, co-regulation and SO much more. The big takeaway is that you have a choice! Even though you don't get to choose how your nervous system is wired, you can eventually shift how you respond to situations and regulate your own system — which is so empowering!

"We don't get to choose our survival response." - Deb Dana

"We want to stretch our nervous system but not stress our nervous system." - Deb Dana

Resources

Deb Dana Website

https://https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/

The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb Dana

https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Therapy-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393712370/ref=nodl_

Adult Chair® Coaches

https://theadultchair.com/coaches/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

They always say parenting is the hardest job in the world. And while caring for little beings and chauffeuring them all around town can certainly be busy and overwhelming at times, the day-to-day tasks of parenting were not what I found most challenging.

Instead, it was what my kids revealed about me that was so hard! The way they knew exactly how to push my buttons and trigger me, the fears and anxieties that came out when they were born and the hopes and dreams I projected on them were the biggest mirror for who I was, even in the tiniest human form.

But as you know, I believe triggers are a gift, so stepping into our Adult Chair as parents and consciously looking at parenting as part of our healing journey can be an amazing next step in our growth!

In this episode, I'm talking with parenting coach Dayna Ciarfalia about what conscious parenting is and how we can become more conscious as parents. We talk about what it means and what to do when our kids trigger us, our true role as parents and how we can build healthy, life-long relationships with our kids as we encourage them to become who they're meant to become.

Listen to discover:

• What conscious parenting is (and what it's not)
• The impact we can have on our children
• Practical ways to consciously parent
• How conscious parenting can help your relationship with your kids
• How our children triggering us reveals our own wounding
• The importance of taking care of our own needs as a parent

It's so hard to let go as a parent. We want our kids to be safe, healthy and happy...and we often have our own ideas and values about who we want them to be in the world. But when we shift into a more conscious state, we can see the ways our kids help us grow and our role in guiding them to become the unique beings they are created to be.

"As conscious parents, we don't view our children as beings to be controlled or taught or raised, if you will. We see them as separate beings that we are here in relationship with to support them in becoming the person they are supposed to be – whatever that is." - Dayna Ciarfalia

"How we model being a human in front of them becomes the blueprint for how they are going to be in the world." - Dayna Ciarfalia

"It's not you vs. me. It's us vs. the problem." - Dayna Ciarfalia

"As humans we like to blame other people for triggering us vs. 'Wait, is this mine?'" - Michelle Chalfant

"That overwhelm almost always comes from a lack of me acknowledging my needs." - Dayna Ciarfalia

"We don't know who our kids are here to become." - Michelle Chalfant

LINKS & RESOURCES

Dayna Ciarfalia Website

https://daynaciarfalia.com/

Dayna Ciarfalia Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/the.conscious.healing.mama

The Adult Chair® Membership (November Theme: I am unique.)

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

P&G Hair Food

https://hairfood.com/

Or find on Amazon or Target.com

MORE ADULT CHAIR

The Adult Chair® Website

https://theadultchair.com

The Adult Chair® Membership

https://theadultchair.com/membership/

The Adult Chair® Workshop

https://theadultchair.com/events/

The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification

https://theadultchair.com/certification

TAC Circles®

https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/

STAY CONNECTED

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/

The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant