Selma Bacevac is a psychotherapist, author, and coach who specializes in helping Balkan women and parents heal from trauma and anxiety.  She is an expert in healing parent/child relationships.  You’ll love listening to Selma because she really just embodies secure attachment.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What a brave space is
• How importance brave spaces are in parent/child relationships
• The inspiration behind Selma’s new children’s book

You can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/bravespace

Follow Selma on instagram HERE.

Buy Selma’s book, Adem and the Magic Fenjer, HERE.

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.

RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!

It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up!

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I submitted my book on June 30, 2022 after 18 months of actively writing THIS book.

The story of this book actually starts with me writing another book in 2020.  A book that isn't done but I do hope I'll finish and publish one day!

Writing a book was a lot and I really wanted to just process the whole experience with you.

And maybe you want to write a book and this episode will demystify the process for you a bit.

I hope you enjoy the episode :)  Send me an email and tell me what you think!

In this episode, I mention Bethany Saltman who was on my podcast last year.  Check it out here: https://robyngobbel.com/strangesituation/

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.

RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!

It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up!

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

I know it feels very frustrating when you find a therapist, arrange your schedule, and find a way to pay for therapy only for your child to not participate. Often parents ask me how to get their child to participate or what to do if their child won’t participate.  

But actually what we really need to talk about is what does it look like to participate- or not- in therapy.  Especially as a child.

In this episode, we’ll talk about

• What therapy really is
• What the right pace is for your child
• How it’s not possible for your child to not participate (if the therapist is prioritizing safety)

FREE
One-page PDF infographic on What Therapy Really Is!
CLICK HERE to get the download sent to your inbox

Read a summary of this episode, access the full show notes: RobynGobbel.com/ChildInTherapy

Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.

RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!

It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up!

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Marshall Lyles is a therapist, author, poet, trainer, advocate, and thought-leader.  Mostly though, he is a dear friend. 

I asked Marshall to come on the podcast to talk about disability, ableism, and parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems. 

I couldn’t possibly capture the beauty of my conversation with Marshall in a short summary.  This is an episode you absolutely want to listen to in order to get the full impact. 

You can read a longer summary AND get a full transcript over at https://robyngobbel.com/ableisminparenting

In this episode, Marshall and I discuss:

• The definition of disability
• The definition of ableism
• Trauma Informed Care and ableism
• How ableism shows up in parenting kids with invisible, brain-based differences

Over on my website you can find:

Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)

eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)

Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club

Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.

RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!

It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up!

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Behavior is just what we see on the outside that tells us about what’s happening on the inside.

If we want to change behavior, we have to change what’s driving the behavior.

This approach to behavior change rests on the idea that regulated, connected kids who feel safe behave well.  If you’re curious about how I came to that conclusion, you can watch my free masterclass and download the free eBook on Focus on the Nervous System!

How many times have you felt confused because of conflicting parenting advice?
Or how often has good parenting advice worked- but only some of the time?
That’s because parenting advice is aimed at stopping a behavior. But…

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ChangeBehavior


Over on my website you can find:
Masterclass and eBook on What Behavior Really Is (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.

RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!

It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up!

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

People pleasing is different from cooperation. 

People pleasing is different from cooperation. 

Cooperation = connection, no loss of autonomy, requires frustration tolerance

People Pleasing = abandoning self because it is too scary or uncomfortable to regulate through the rupture in the relationship.  

People pleasing is a stress-response. It’s a behavior that the “Trickster” possum uses when the possum pathway is activated.  

If you aren’t sure what I mean by possum pathway, check out this podcast/blog: https://robyngobbel.com/possumbrain

I also describe the owl, watchdog, and possum brain in my free eBook, Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior

Some folks call this people-pleasing behavior “fawn.”

I call this “trickster” behavior.

Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/PeoplePleasing

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: Being With

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.

RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!

It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up!

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

"The brainstem is developed, soothed, and repaired through experiences that are rhythmic, repetitive, relational, and somatosensory" ~ Bruce Perry, MD, PhD

This is part 3 of the Strengthening the Foundation of the Brain series.

The brainstem is the lowest, most inside region of the brain.  It sits at the base of the brain and connects the skull brain to the spinal cord.  The brainstem is the first part of the brain to really wire up, flourishing with neural connections.  The brainstem is organizing and developing in utero and is working pretty effectively in healthy, full term infants.

The brainstem is responsible for all the things our brain and body does automatically- in fact, it's called the autonomic nervous system.

Heart rate, respiration, and most importantly in this Strengthening the Foundation for the Brain series- the regulation of energy and arousal in the nervous system.

It can be easy to overlook the relationship between energy, arousal, and behavior because we've been taught to believe the behavior is largely deliberate, intentionally, and something we do with a lot of thinking.

The brainstem is organized and regulated- healed- through experiences that are rhythmic, repetitive, relational, somatosensory!

If you'd rather read the blog instead of listen on the podcast, CLICK HERE.

Goodies you can find on my website:

FREE Brilliance of Attachment eBook at https://robyngobbel.com/ebook
FREE masterclass on What Behavior Really Is and How to Change It at https://robyngobbel.com/masterclass

Upcoming trainings for Parent and Professionals are listed at https://robyngobbel.com/trainings

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.

RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!

It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up!

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

JD Wilson- dad and host of the Empowered to Connect Podcast- believed that his reputation as a 'legend' when he was baby-sitting other people's kids meant he'd be a rock star parent.

Then he actually became a parent :) and we all know how that went!

JD and his wife turned to connected parenting because they didn’t know what else to do.  Their tools weren’t working, the way that they were parented weren’t working, and he wanted to learn a different way.

It wasn’t easy.  In fact, JD said “for the first couple years of shifting our parenting, it felt like we were running through a swamp.”  It was just so hard to actually put the connected parenting ideals into practice.

JD bravely, boldly, humbly, and humorously shares his journey from spankings to being the co-host of a connected parenting podcast, working and supporting other parents who are also making the journey from punitive to connection based parenting both through the podcast and his work at Memphis Family Connection Center.

We're keeping it real here today, and I hope you love JD and his story as much as I do.

If you'd like to read a thorough summary of episode, CLICK HERE.

You can find the Empowered to Connect podcast here: https://empoweredtoconnect.org/podcast/ or simply search for Empowered to Connect wherever you listen to podcasts!

Goodies you can find on my website:

FREE Brilliance of Attachment eBook at https://robyngobbel.com/ebook
FREE masterclass on What Behavior Really Is and How to Change It at https://robyngobbel.com/masterclass

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.

RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!

It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up!

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

Lacy Alana beautifully reminds us that we don’t have to be perfect.  Our messiness can meet each other’s messiness.  We can welcome our kids’ messiness, and find the strength to keep welcoming it…even when it seems like nothing is working.

Lacy is a therapist, program developer, trapeze artist, and improv genius who comes to the podcast as an adult who understands childhood trauma because she experienced childhood trauma, including being a youth who was in out-of-home care as a teenager.  Lacy wanted to come on as a person who offers hope for all the parents and professionals out there walking this hard path of caring for a child impacted by trauma.

Find Lacy and all the amazing work she is doing in the world at www.YesAndBrain.com.


*************************
There are so many more free resources just waiting for you over at www.RobynGobbel.com

Blog: www.RobynGobbel.com/blog

Free resources, including video resources on the impact of trauma: www.RobynGobbel.com/freeresources

While you are there, sign up to be the first to know when the in-depth, comprehensive brain-based and attachment-supporting course for parents opens for registration!  www.RobynGobbel.com/parentcourse

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.

RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!

It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up!

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith

It's hard to write a summary of this episode because it is so rich with goodness.

Mark Vatsaas is a dad and parent coach for parents of kids with challenging behaviors.  He's compassionate, clear, articulate, and has a knack for seeing straight through to the heart of the manner (that's my observation of him!!)

There are so many brilliant sound bytes in this episode.  It's long but you are going to want to listen to the whole thing.

Mark gives us a peek into his process as a parent coach and describes how he often sees these four themes emerge in his work with struggling parents:
1. Attachment and our drive for survival
2. How our emotions help us navigate our world
3. Defendedness
4. How parents show up- and specifically how they send cues of safety and connection to their children

There are a few tears, some laughter, and by the end you will understand by Mark's business is called Seen and Heard.  Just listening to this episode will help you feel both seen and heard.  Promise.

To learn more about Mark's work, head to www.SeenandHeard.coach.  He offers a free 90 minute consultation for parents- no obligation to schedule any additional sessions.

*************************
There are so many more free resources just waiting for you over at www.RobynGobbel.com

Blog: www.RobynGobbel.com/blog

Free resources, including video resources on the impact of trauma: www.RobynGobbel.com/freeresources

While you are there, sign up to be the first to know when the in-depth, comprehensive brain-based and attachment-supporting course for parents opens for registration!  www.RobynGobbel.com/parentcourse

Making Sense of Baffling Behaviors: A FREE audio-only training for professionals who work with the families of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Yes! FREE! You'll listen on your own time, right in your podcast app.

RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors for all the details and to sign up!

It starts May 5 and will be available to listen to until May 12. But don't wait to sign up!

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Buy Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBook

Join The Club (or get on the waiting list!) over at RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Hop on the waiting list for Being With- an immersive professional training program exploring the neurobiology of big, baffling behaviors at RobynGobbel.com/BeingWith