This episode originally aired on July 18th, 2023

What if I told you that there's a revolutionary approach to parenting that's shifting the traditional power dynamics and nurturing stronger relationships of trust and understanding? My latest conversation with Amanda Diekman, author of the groundbreaking book "Low Demand Parenting", explores this very concept. Together, we tread into the challenging terrain of parenting children with highly sensitive nervous systems, sharing insightful strategies and breakthrough research work of Ross Green, Mona Delahooke, and Stuart Shanker.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• What is low-demand parenting
• How to create a post-meltdown plan for parents

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Low Demand Parenting- Released July 21, 2023
https://us.jkp.com/products/lowdemand-parenting?_pos=1&_sid=b80ccd227&_ss=r
***For 20% off and free shipping, use code: BafflingBehaviors20

Find Amanda on Instagram: @LowDemandAmanda
Find Amanda online: https://www.amandadiekman.com
Post Meltdown Plan for Parents on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/Ctgv-B1OjtE/

Read a the full transcript at:

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well, does that mean connected kids are always cooperative?

Definitely not! In fact, there’s a level of connection to others- and to themselves! - that invites in the safety to be UNcooperative!

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How safety can invite both cooperative and UNcooperative behavior
• Why too much cooperation would actually be a bad thing
• How parenting with co-regulation and connection helps kids become more connected to themselves

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It? {EP 109}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/cooperative

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This is NOT an episode about how to make your kid go to school. 

What you WILL learn in this episode:

• What is pathological demand avoidance, or PDA?
• Schools valuing attendance above all is not helpful
• You are a good parent even if your kid doesn’t go to school
• That sometimes, all we have to do is be nice

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Can’t Not Won’t by Eliza Fricker
• The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker
• The Educator's Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker

How to Connect with Eliza Fricker:

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Twitter

Read a summary or the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/SchoolRefusal

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

The question of ‘can I heal’ or 'can my child heal' or ‘how do I (or my child) heal’ is a tricky one. 

Healing is a word that gets used a lot without really pausing to ask ourselves what it actually means. 

If we are aiming for a nebulous goal that hasn’t been defined, it will feel impossible to reach. Impossible tasks often feel hopeless.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why it’s most useful to stay focused on widening our window of stress tolerance
• How co-regulation contributes to healing
• How memory relates to trauma symptoms and healing

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• What Does Co-Regulation Really Look Like? {EP 81}
• Scaffolding Is A Form Of Co-Regulation {Ep 82}
• Match The Energy, NOT The Dysregulation {EP 155}
• Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1 {EP 161}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/heal

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

***This episode originally aired on February 2nd, 2021***

Lying is probably the behavior parents seek support with the most.  It's confusing.  It's triggering.  It's exhausting.

Did you catch last week's episode on X Ray Vision Goggles?  We can use those goggles to get underneath the lying so we can respond in ways that actually sets the boundary and increases the possibility of helping our children developing more socially and relationally appropriate behaviors.

Read the full transcript at:  https://robyngobbel.com/lying/

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Do you live with someone or love someone who is chronically dysregulated?

This episode isn’t an episode that is going to tell you what to do.

This is an episode of commiseration. Of “I see you.”

It is exhausting to live with someone who is chronically unhappy, or chronically dysregulated. Knowing you’re not alone can help.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• How nervous systems match each other
• How we get our sense of safety from the state of each other’s nervous system
• The serve & return and rhythms of relationship, and what happens when that gets disrupted 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Self-Regulation Doesn’t Exist!!
• When Parenting Is Traumatic {EP 95}
• Felt Safety (Between) - Part 3 {EP 163}

Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/chronicallydysregulated

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

***This episode originally aired on February 16th, 2021***

Connection.  Empathizing.  Offering choices.  These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good.  So…what should you do instead???

This episode takes you through the three places I always recommend parents start first when they are trying to support their child who feels chronically dysregulated.
1. Food, water, and movement
2. Structure, routing, and predictability
3. Stick close

These may or may not help your child to decrease their level of arousal and dysregulation but they are always where I recommend parents start first!

Read a full summary or the full transcript at: www.RobynGobbel.com/alwaysdysegulated

For an introduction to tracking arousal instead of behavior, read this blog: www.RobynGobbel.com/watchdogbrain or listen to episode 4

Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain online course:  www.RobynGobbel.com/parentcourse

You can watch the free masterclass on Regulation, Connection, and Felt-Safety right on my website!  www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

It’s very common for all humans- kids and adults- to have more behavior struggles and dysregulation. Kids with vulnerable nervous systems, as well as attachment trauma, are especially likely to demonstrate some confusing patterns with regard to where they are regulated and where they aren’t. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The neurobiology behind why it’s normal for kids (and adults) to behave better at school (or work or out shopping or wherever)
• How the connections in a family could be the trigger for dysregulation
• How all families tend to have moments that ebb and flow in dysregulation- this is normal

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• The Tragedy of Disorganized Attachment (Part 5 of 6) {EP 38}
• Stress Response System {EP 94}
• When Connection Isn't Safe {158}

Read the full transcript at:  https://robyngobbel.com/betteratschool/

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

***This episode originally aired on May 11th, 2021***

You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma?  Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???”

Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious.

What if I told you it doesn’t matter?

Hear me out.

Why do you want to figure that out?  Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situation different based on the answer.

But actually, it doesn’t matter. And it’s impossible to determine anyway.

What you really want to think about is- how dysregulated is my child?

And then respond to that!!  

There are some core truths about humans- regulated, connected kids who feel safe do well.  So if you’re child isn’t doing well- ask yourself if this is about regulation, connection, felt-safety or some combination of those.

Then, based on your child’s level of arousal/dysregulation, you can intervene in a way that will calm their arousal and bring back their owl brain.   

I explore this in depth in today’s episode!  If you want to learn more about this way of looking at behaviors, watch this free masterclass online  www.RobynGobbel.com/masterclass

To view the full summary or the full transcript visit: https://robyngobbel.com/traumabehavior/

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Parenting with co-regulating and seeing below our kids behaviors is actually a privilege we rarely talk about. It’s always a privilege, but especially when we consider different marginalized and oppressed identities that a lot of kids- and those of you listening- intersectionally hold. 

In this episode, you’ll learn

• The definition of privilege (it is NOT a criticism)
• The privilege of safety for folks with histories of trauma
• The privilege of safety for folks with other marginalized and oppressed identities
• How this relates to parenting 

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

• Mr. Chazz 
  • https://www.mrchazz.com/
  • https://www.instagram.com/mrchazz/
• Yolanda Williams & Parenting Decolonized
  • https://www.instagram.com/prntgdcolonized/
• What Happened to You? By Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/privilege

The Club is welcoming new members starting next Tuesday! Set yourself a calendar reminder and then head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub on Tuesday so you can get instant access to a community, resources, and the change to pick Robyn's brain!

Applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program are now open! You MUST be on the waiting list to apply! Get on the waiting list at RobynGobbel.com/immersion

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)